I stood in the gym, trying to shake the stupor I was in. I was trying to get the image of her out of my head. It seemed impossible. Every time I closed my eyes, and hell, even when my eyes were open, all I saw was her. I couldn't shake it. I couldn't stop myself. It was the spell. That's all it was. Nothing more. I kept trying to tell myself, but I wasn't listening. I knew better. I knew there was something between us. It wasn't just her having a crush on a school teacher. It was more than that. It was so much more. Regardless of the minor details, I knew I had to set this straight. I had to tell her that it was nothing more than just the spell. As I made my way through the gym, I heard the door open. I turned around to see Rose walk in. The moment she stepped into the gym, this tension built between the two of us. I turned, and started to walk out, but the moment I took a few steps towards the door, I knew what I had to do to set this right.

"Rose….." I started. I hesitated, not sure if this was really what I wanted to do. I knew It had to be done, regardless of my feelings. "You need to report what happened. With us." She gave me a look. A look like this wasn't the conversation she'd been planning on having with me. Honestly, this wasn't how I pictured our first conversation either.

"I can't do that. They'll fire you. Or worse." She said. I shook my head.

"They should fire me. What I did was wrong." I said. I didn't think it was wrong. At the time, it felt oh so right. I knew I shouldn't feel that way, but I did.

"You couldn't help it. It was the spell…." She said.

"It doesn't matter. It was wrong. And stupid." I said. She bit her lip. I could see in her eyes, that my words were like daggers to her heart. The urge to pull her into my arms, and apologize for my harsh words was strong, almost overpowering. I watched the pain flood through her features, but quickly, she reclaimed her composure.

"Look, its not that big of a deal." She said. She kept trying to take the severity away, but she wasn't succeeding.

"It is a big deal! I took advantage of you." I said. That was a lie. It was mutual. She knew it, and I knew it, but I wasn't going to say that.

"No," She said, keeping her voice even. "You didn't." I knew now I had to put up a good argument if I was actually going to convince her that what happened was wrong, and it was just the spell. I met her eyes with deep intensity.

"Rose, I'm seven years older than you. In ten years, that won't mean so much, but for now, its huge. I'm an adult. You're a child.." I said. She flinched. God, how wrong I was. She wasn't a child. I knew she wasn't even close to a child, but in the eyes of others, she was.

"You didn't seem to think I was a child when you were all over me." Ahh, this time it was my turn to flinch. She was right. She saw through me so much. I hated it. She knew I didn't think she was a child, even though I kept trying to convince her otherwise. I was losing this battle horribly.

"Just because your body… well, that doesn't make you an adult. We're in two very different places. I've been out in the world. I've been on my own. I've killed Rose, - people, not animals. And you…you're just starting out. Your life is about homework, and clothes, and dances." I explained. I knew her life was about more than that. I was hurting myself more than I was hurting her with my words. Each time I saw the pain flood through her eyes, or saw her flinch, another piece of my heart shattered.

"That's all you think I care about?" She asked me.

"No, of course not. Not entirely. But its all part of your world. You're still growing up and figuring out who you are and what's important. You need to keep doing that. You need to be with boys your own age." The words made my heart clench as I spoke them. I didn't want her to be with boys her own age. I wanted her to be with me. I shook my head. I was a sorry excuse for a man. I could tell she was thinking something close to the same thing, but she didn't say it. I waited on her to speak again, but she didn't so I spoke.

"Even if you choose not to tell, you need to understand that it was a mistake. And it isn't ever going to happen again." I said. What I didn't add was how I wished it would happen again. How I wish we could be together the way I wanted.

"Because you're too old for me? Because it isn't responsible?" Yes, I whispered in my head. This was it. This was where I could finish this, with one final blow, I knew I could end this whole thing with just a few final words.

"No. Because I'm just not interested in you in that way." I said, no emotion, no nothing. Just another bold faced lie. I watched as the rejection washed through her. The hurt, and pain in her eyes made it almost unbearable to keep this distance between us. She said nothing, so I continued her heartbreak further, only fueling the fire.

"It only happened because of the spell. Do you understand?" I asked. She was humiliated, and angry. I could see it. She stared at me for a second, before shrugging.

"Yeah. Understood." She said. I watched as she turned away from me.. I stood there for a second, full of heartbreak and sorrow. I finally willed myself to turn, and leave.

Hours later, I found myself wandering aimlessly around campus, my mind on nothing but Roza. As I walked past one of the hallways, I saw her. Rose, her body crumpling to the floor against the wall. That's when I saw her. Natalie Dashkov, except… she wasn't a moroi anymore. A Russian curse slipped from my lips. I flew down the hallway, trying to make it to her before it was too late. Rose already looked like she was half unconscious. After taking a few hits and kicks from Natalie, and giving her a few of my own, I found an opening. With a speed Natalie wasn't ready for, my stake flashed out like lightning and went straight into her heart. The moment I reached her heart, I yanked it out, and let her scream and fall to the ground. After just a few moments, she stopped moving all together. I turned and bolted towards Rose's crumpled body on the floor. I snaked my arms under her small body, and picked her up in my arms. Her eyes were drooping, but she still was conscious… for now.

"Hey, Comrade," She murmured, her voice sounded sleepy, like she was on the verge of passing out. "You were right about strigoi." Her eyelids started to droop. I couldn't have her pass out on me. Not yet.

"Rose. Roza. Open your eyes." I said, my voice was strained and frantic. I was so scared. She'd taken some harsh blows. "Don't go to sleep on me. Not yet." She squinted up at me, as I carried her out of the building, pretty much running towards the clinic.

"Was he right?" She asked. I was confused.

'Who?" I asked.

"Victor… he said it couldn't have worked. The necklace." She said. Her lids were drooping again. I spoke again, causing her eyes to open. She was confusing me, so it was easy to keep her talking.

"What do you mean?" I asked her,

"The spell. Victor said you had to want me…to care about me… for it too work." I didn't say anything. Could I really lie to her right now? After everything she'd just been through. She reached up and tried to grip my shirt with weak fingers. "Did you? Did you want me?" I hesitated again for another moment before meeting her drooping eyes.

"Yes, Roza. I did want you. I still do. I wish… we could be together." I said, thickly. The feelings this girl brought out in me… I swear.

"Then why did you lie to me?" By this time, I'd reached the clinic. I managed to open the door, still holding her in my arms. As soon as I was in the door, I was yelling for help. I wasn't sure how much longer she could hang on.

"Why did you lie?" She murmured again. She was fading faster now. I looked down again and met her eyes once more.

"Because we can't be together." I said, hating the realization of these words, even though I'd known it all along.

"Because of the age thing, right?" She asked. "Because you're my mentor?" I watched as a tear slowly rolled down her cheek. I reached down and gently wiped it away with my fingertip.

"That's part of it," I said. "But also…well, you and I will both be Lissa's guardians someday. I need to protect her at all costs. If a pack of strigoi come, I need to throw my body between them and her." This was something that I'd always feared when I thought about falling in love.

"I know that. Of course that's what you have to do." She said. She was going. I could see it in her eyes. She was fading out slowly. I knew if I wanted to say this, I had to do it now, before it was too late.

"No. If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." I said. With that, the medical team took her out of my arms, and I watched as the rushed her into the back of the clinic. I stood there in the middle of the office, staring after her like a lovesick puppy. I felt so incomplete without her in my arms now. At least now she knew how I really felt. With that, I turned and walked out of the office, leaving the medical staff to take care of her.