A/N Apologies first: I'm so sorry for the long delay. I thought I was coping well and then I hit a run of dates which proved that I was not. Denial's all well and good until the bloody dam breaks and the river floods... and your muse floats away with it.

A/N2 This is the last part - and for that, I apologise for the wait once again - though it isn't exactly how I'd originally planned on ending the story; I do think it's a change for the better - I just hope it was worth the wait.

A/N3 Big thanks to everyone who has followed this story, even bigger thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially those who took the time to leave a few words for every chapter - you know who you are and I hope you know how much your constant support has spurred me on (it might have taken years to finish this story otherwise). I'd like to say that writing this has done the trick and I'm now off to re-watch the whole shebang, right from episode one of LOM, but it'd be a great big lie. Finally, because this really is the end, I promise, and to quote Douglas Adams, 'So long and thanks for all the fish'.

Door To The River

Chapter Nine ~ Not Forever Now

The journey from the aerodrome, Gene thought as he took the last corner towards the station, had been, contrary to recent revelations that suggested just the opposite, lively; in the back of the Quattro, Ray and Chris had relived their respective heroic moments as Shaz, who he thought the bravest of them all for agreeing to go undercover as an air stewardess, had tried unsuccessfully to bring the lads' egos back to Earth, appealing on occasion to Alex, who was in the passenger seat next to him, to back her up. Alex had joined in easily with the banter but he'd been content just to listen to his team; it had felt pretty damn good to take down those dyke digging bastards but it had felt even better to be the Guv again. He'd realised this morning, as CID had gathered at the station and proceeded to hang on to his every word, that Alex had been right; it didn't matter that he'd only become the Guv in this world because in this world he was the Guv. End of. Nobody had questioned his authority or looked at him as if he shouldn't be standing there telling them what to do; not even Ray or Chris or Shaz who all knew that things in this world were not as they seemed to be.

Gene slowed the Quattro to a halt outside of Fenchurch East but his gaze was immediately drawn towards the building that had become CID's local purely because of its proximity to the station instead; a warm, almost golden, light spilt invitingly out of the trattoria, seeping through each window and up the stairs to pour like wine into the street. It wasn't such an unusual sight but its surroundings certainly were; next door to Luigi's, instead of the usual row of bland buildings that barely got a second glance most nights, there was only a spread of stars, as if the rest of the world had fallen over the edge of the universe. He'd discovered enough during the last twenty four hours to realise exactly what it meant: loss. It quite possibly wasn't the expected reaction to the confirmation that there was life after death but he was finding it difficult to see a rosier outcome. He had no doubt that what came next would be majestic but he also knew that it wouldn't need a self styled sheriff; there'd be no-one for him to protect and no-one to defeat. And though staying in this world was preferable, he also knew that it wouldn't be the same world that he'd inhabited all this time; so much had changed during the last twenty four hours and it wasn't over just yet.

The conversation amongst the back seat passengers died down as he killed the car's engine and he didn't need to glimpse in the rear view mirror to confirm that all eyes had strayed to Luigi's. Instead, he let his gaze settle on Alex in the seat next to him. This morning he'd woken up in her bed to find her sleeping form next to his once more; her face had been as bare of make-up as her body, disappointingly concealed beneath the sheets, had been of clothing and her hair styled by sleep and sex but he'd thought that she'd never looked so beautiful. And when she'd stirred from her slumber, all hazel eyes and smiling lips, and confessed that she could get used to waking up next to him, he'd thought that he'd never feel any happier. But he feared that Alex's words wouldn't hold true now; he was certain that if she'd had a choice in the matter she would have returned to her daughter - and he would have thought less of her if she hadn't - but as much as she wanted to be with him he didn't expect her to chose this existence, and therefore him, now either. If all the literature was true then there was a peace to be found through the doors to Luigi's that he doubted existed anywhere in this world and she deserved to find it. Even if it meant leaving him behind.

"All roads eventually lead to the pub?" Alex asked, her gaze remaining on Luigi's and the answer to the question quite literally in front of her. It seemed silly though in retrospect she should have worked this much out last night when, after the rest of the team had been dismissed, she and Gene had lingered in his office for a while, drinking his whiskey and mulling over the day's events. Whilst she'd loved his speech about carrying on in this world as if nothing had changed she'd worried that it wouldn't be so simple; when DI Tyler had discovered the truth about this world he'd just disappeared, never to be seen again, and she'd not shaken the niggling doubt that her fate was linked to his.

When she'd asked, Gene had been more accommodating on the subject than ever before, telling her all about the last time he'd seen Sam Tyler and the final words that had passed between them; the news that Sam had told Gene he was going to his local for a pint had seemed a strange thing to say, having just gone to great lengths to fake his own death and when she'd mentioned as much to Gene he had told her that he'd always assumed that Sam was just saying good-bye - in a roundabout, avoiding the issue, man kind of way, obviously - but she understood now that, just like the roll of film, Sam had left a signpost towards the final destination. And as she turned her head toward Gene she could see, even under the weak illumination of the street lights, that he understood as much too.

"That's just ridiculous!" she exclaimed and a little petulantly. In truth it wasn't the lack of a set of pearly gates that was bothering her; she had no preconceptions of what to expect in such a situation - she'd only very recently had her faith revived - though she could just about see, and it'd probably look clearer after a few glasses of wine, the symbolism involved. What bothered her, what had made her heart start to ache, regret and sadness pressing uncomfortably around it, was the thought of having to leave this world at this particular point in time; it seemed an extraordinarily cruel stroke of fate, perhaps even on a par with the cards that she'd been dealt both during her lifetime and her journey through this world. At least in this world she'd had more than two years to slowly come to terms with the loss of both her daughter and her other life but even that hadn't felt long enough; she needed more than two days to accept that this existence, this life that she had come to love so very dearly, would have to end as well.

"It's worse than that, Bols," Gene said evenly; he wanted to reach across the hand brake and physically comfort her but he was conscious of the, perhaps unwilling, audience in the back of the car - and that, as much as it had seemed to be so from the moment she'd stepped into his life, this wasn't just about the two of them. And it wasn't about what he wanted either. He wouldn't try to stop her leaving; he wouldn't stop any of them. Alex might have tried to persuade him otherwise but he feared that there was some truth to DCI Keats' claim that he had kept them all here because he hadn't wanted to face his own demise. After all, he'd ignored Alex's strange behaviour even though Sam had done and said similar things - the chances of having two nutty DI's with the same delusion had to be tiny but he'd never looked any further into it. He'd never wanted to either; he'd always thought that he was protecting Alex but maybe he'd just been, and his mouth twitched in a smile at the thought that some of her psychology nonsense must have rubbed off on him, subconsciously protecting himself from the truth all along. But at the expense of those around him.

"It's not even a pub. It's a bloody trattoria," he finished, slowly averting his gaze when the frown on her face fell further. Staring at the door handle he fought the urge to re-start the car and drive away from all of this and reached out for the door. In a way, her apparent unhappiness gave him hope; if she did, as it seemed, want to stay here then he wouldn't try to dissuade her - but it had to be her choice. They all had to make their own choice and without another word he opened the car door.

The cold night air filled the car as Gene exited the vehicle, a thin line on his mouth, and Alex hugged her coat closer, missing both the warmth and the man who seemed intent on giving all of this up without a fight. The door remained open so that Ray, who was seated behind Gene, could get out of the car and she reluctantly followed suit, leaving her own door open so that Shaz and Chris could squeeze out from the back seats as she stared unhappily at Luigi's once more. Last night, when she'd returned to her flat, the trattoria had been shrouded in darkness and silence; it had taken until this morning to discover, courtesy of Ray, that whilst she had been dancing Gene into her bed, Luigi had been announcing his departure. Given everything she'd recently learnt about this world she'd been worried by his sudden absence but now a small, and somewhat guilty, part of her was wishing that Luigi had stayed away, if only so she could have longer here.

From across the street the dull noise of a busy restaurant, faint laughter the only discernible sound amongst the muffled din, called out to her, the familiar aroma of Luigi's special sauce floating in the air with it and along side the light show that heralded the building it felt as though every sense was being lured towards the trattoria. And, to her surprise, it was a tempting mix. She'd never had a local before she'd arrived in this world; she'd known which pub was frequented by her colleagues when she'd been alive, and she was sure that she would have been warmly welcomed inside, but she'd always tended to stay late at the station to finish up paperwork and / or rush home to Molly instead. In this world there'd been no daughter to care for and a Guv who preferred beer o'clock to promptly completed case files; it was a combination that had led to some memorable nights, times when she'd finally felt part of a team, when she'd felt as if she'd belonged, and an afterlife that promised as much should have had her running towards it without question. But it didn't.

Instead, Alex walked slowly towards Gene, coming to a stop next to him to stand in the middle of road; Ray stood at the other side of the Guv whilst Shaz and Chris moved to her side and, as she ran her eyes briefly down each side of the line they'd formed, she was sure that they could all feel the same pull towards Luigi's that she had experienced. The faint noise suddenly grew louder for a few seconds before fading again, the unmistakable sign of the door being opened and then falling shut again, and she refocussed her gaze on the trattoria. A head slowly emerged from the stairwell, the light that shone through the windows bouncing rather unkindly off the receding hairline as the familiar profile of Luigi came into view. He moved so smoothly up the stairs that she was sure he was floating but then one foot, encased in shiny black leather, stepped out onto the street breaking the illusion. The smile that graced his face spoke of pure happiness and remained even when Gene greeted him in his own inimitable style.

"Thought you'd buggered off home," Gene bellowed across the street.

"Not without a leaving party, Signor Hunt," Luigi explained as he stepped towards the edge of the pavement. He stopped at the kerb to smile at the five of them in turn as he spoke, "And you are all invited. As my special guests, yes?"

A long silence followed the invitation as five pairs of eyes considered the Italian and his words. There was no doubt in Alex's mind that they all knew what was really on offer; it would be unkind to think that even Chris believed there was only a plate of pasta and a pint on offer. The frown that had marked her mouth since she'd laid eyes on the restaurant straightened out a little as she replayed both Luigi's words and her own immediate assessment of them, coming to a surprising conclusion; he was only asking them to join him. Grasping on to what could possibly amount to nothing more than over-politeness on Luigi's part was, she could admit to herself, almost a repeat of the sheer bloody minded-ness that had fuelled her futile attempts to return home - and she supposed that moving on from this world was as inevitable as the bullet that had struck her head killing her - but maybe this existence was kinder than the one she'd been ripped so violently from. After all, Sam Tyler had taken the necessary time to fake his own death before he'd left; in fact, Sam Tyler had chosen how both his lives had ended and she was finding it difficult to understand why he should be any different to her.

"I would love to come," Shaz said softly, making Luigi's face crease further in delight and Alex's gaze to fall on the woman stood next to her.

"Shaz wait," Alex blurted quickly, causing the younger woman to turn her head in her direction; she didn't want Shaz to leave - she didn't want any of them to go. And if she was right then they could all stay here, together, as a team, and carry on just as Gene had declared last night in the station. "You don't -"

"I know, Ma'am," Shaz interrupted, turning to stand in front of the older woman; the smile on her lips that had been present from the moment she'd stepped out of the car widened into one that was beautifully serene and the rest of her face fell in line with the lead her mouth had taken. "But it's okay. I want to go," she explained softly.

Alex smiled her understanding at Shaz; she respected the other woman's faith, the belief that there was something better than this and she took strength from it too. Like Sam Tyler before her, Shaz seemed to be suggesting that there was no one better than oneself to decide the right time to leave. Shaz wrapped her arms around Alex, the strength of her hold suggesting that the younger woman had already decided that she wouldn't be making the same journey and Alex returned the gesture with as much feeling because there were too many people in her life that she'd been denied the chance to say good-bye to properly.

When Shaz pulled away from Alex, that peaceful smile still residing on her mouth, her gaze quickly shifted from the older woman as Chris loudly cleared his throat and then spoke up: "I'm coming too."

"It still won't be the same as before, Chris," Shaz warned gently, her smile fading a little.

"I know," the DC agreed, moving a little closer towards her. "But you might still need a friend. And you don't want to walk in there alone, do you?"

"That's so sweet, Chris," Shaz smiled brightly at him. "It's what I've always loved about you." Chris was noticeably startled when the object of his affections threw her arms around him, embracing him tightly, but he recovered quickly enough, returning the gesture. And he only seemed a little put out when Shaz relinquished her hold on him and moved to throw her arms around the Guv instead.

Alex's smile wavered as she watched Shaz hug Gene, the latter hesitating briefly before embracing the other woman; she'd been so caught up with her own dilemma that she'd never considered what he - or any of them - would do. Gene had been magnificent today, both in the office and at the aerodrome, and if this had happened before their fateful trip to Farringfield Green she would have been absolutely certain of his choice. But yesterday she'd seen him at lowest ever point and though he'd been her rock this last day or so - in truth, for far longer than that - she wasn't sure if his desire to stay here was as strong. So far, everything he'd done seemed to suggest that he might have had enough of this place. She wrapped her arms around her torso, hugging her coat closer once more as her desire to remain here cooling a little at the thought of this world, of any world, without Gene in it.

Gene managed to raise a smile as Shaz relinquished her hold and stepped back to beam at him. Behind her, Chris stared quietly at him before offering a small nod of his head which he returned; as far as Gene was concerned, they'd settled their differences the other night in Luigi's. As soon as Shaz had said she'd wanted to leave he'd known that Chris would go too but he couldn't fault the younger man in that respect; he wasn't so sure that he'd follow Alex in there if she was intent on leaving. It seemed crazy to even think of letting her walk out of his life so easily when it'd taken so long to get this close to her but he was, or at least he felt as though he was, needed here in this world.

"You coming Ray?" Chris asked as Shaz returned to his side, the light from Luigi's illuminating them both.

Ray made no reply but his gaze moved from Chris and Shaz and towards Gene, the answer written clearly on his face. "About time I was moving on too, Guv. That div still owes me a tenner. As if you and Drake weren't going to shag each other." A smile spread across Ray's mouth when Gene held out his hand towards him and Ray shook it vigourously. No further words were deemed necessary between the two men and it was only as Ray moved away from Gene and towards Alex that he spoke again, directing his words at the other Inspector, "Not going to try and persuade me to stay then?"

"Would you say yes?" Alex replied. Whilst it was true that they'd not hit it off in the beginning, she would miss Ray Carling; she'd realised that he was more than just a one-dimensional construct of her shattered mind long before she'd discovered that he was, just like Gene and Chris and Shaz, as real as herself. And it had been Ray who had given her the most valuable piece of advice she'd ever received in this world: that being with Gene was the right place to be. Not that she'd realised how important those words would be at the time, though it was probably fair to say that Ray hadn't either.

"No," Ray answered, a small frown tugging at his mouth as sadness crept into his eyes. "I can't let this chance go by."

Alex nodded her understanding though she didn't truly comprehend his reasons; the answer obviously lay in his past - or, given how this world worked, possibly his future - but, having uncovered some unpleasant skeletons in her own closet during her time here, she respected his silence on the matter. She stepped forward slightly to kiss Ray on the cheek and the way he squirmed uncomfortably, his eyes looking anywhere but at her - or Gene for that matter - made her smile once more. There was a smile on his mouth too as he turned away from her, making his way towards Shaz and Chris, the latter offering Alex a cheery good-bye when she caught his gaze.

There was a hint of sadness in her as she watched the three of them walk towards the restaurant where Luigi was waiting to greet them; in the real world she most likely would never have met any of them and though she was glad she'd been given the opportunity to do so it was a bittersweet feeling to have to lose something that she should never have had in the first place. With that thought weighing heavily in her mind her gaze strayed towards Gene again, the pout on his mouth rendering him as mysterious as ever. For a moment or two she struggled for the right words to say to him, unsure if this was good-bye or something else entirely. "What do you think is through there?" she settled on asking, just as Luigi engulfed Shaz in a warm embrace which the young woman reciprocated whole-heartedly.

Gene watched Luigi release Shaz and move on to hug Chris; the daft lad let him but Ray put up more resistance when his turn arrived and, despite the circumstances, Gene smiled at the sight of his team slowly descending the stairs, Shaz leading the way. Luigi remained at the top of the stairs, still grinning like an idiot and still waiting for them as Gene considered his reply. "The final adventure," he answered eventually, settling for something that sounded neutral and, in his own mind at least, truthful.

His gaze slowly met hers and his eyes, and his reply, made her wonder if he was just as uncertain of her intentions as she was of his. "There's still plenty of adventures to have here," she ventured softly, hoping that he was just waiting to hear her say that she wanted to stay.

"Then I'd better stay and keep an eye on you," Gene replied with a tone that he hoped masked his relief. "You do have a nasty habit of getting yourself into trouble, DI Drake," he added on with a smile and it turned out to be infectious, quickly spreading to Alex, a beautiful smile caressing her lips and approving of his response.

It would be different between them now, of course; Alex knew his deepest darkest secret and there could be no hiding from it any longer. But, to be fair, she'd always seen through his bravado, had always been willing to try and take him down a peg or two when she thought it was needed, and there was no doubt in his mind that they'd still argue about methods and cases and that she would still disobey his orders. But it would be better, too, because he would have her; his lover, his friend, his partner, his Bolly. He'd been wrong the other night in Luigi's: there wasn't a 'world of difference' between them at all - they were more alike than he'd ever suspected. Thoughts about kissing her, which had emerged as soon as he'd realised she wanted to stay here, were quickly scrapped when Luigi, who had been momentarily forgotten, made his presence known once more.

"I think that you must settle your bill one day," Luigi warned from across the street, making both Gene and Alex turn their gazes away from each other and towards him.

Ever since she'd met him, Alex had never thought of Luigi as anything more than the kindly landlord who looked out for her, a caricature that she'd only briefly reassessed when she'd realised that there were others in this world who were just like her, but now she wasn't so sure; she had a vague recollection of Sam mentioning the barman at the pub he'd frequented but she was too elated to really try and make the connection. She hadn't been looking for an eternity, all good things had to come to an end after all, she'd just wanted a little more time here - and Luigi seemed to be offering her, offering them both, that much. "We will," Alex promised the older man as she slipped her hand into Gene's.

Luigi nodded at his favourite Signorina before his gaze shifted to Gene, a twinkle in his eye, "I am so happy you caught her, Signor Hunt."

"So am I," Gene agreed, feeling Alex's gaze fall immediately back on him. Now wasn't the time or place to explain just what Luigi meant but one day he would. One day soon - though he'd skip the part about him being the one who'd wanted her to fall in the first place.

With a final smile and quick nod of the head, Luigi disappeared down the stairs and into the light, that swell of music and laughter announcing his passing through the door before it petered out for good. The brightness that had surrounded the trattoria dimmed once he'd gone, as if all the lights inside had been turned off one by one, and the building next door reappeared in the process, seemingly only hidden by the light that had spewed from Luigi's. For a few seconds she could only stare quietly at the building, a little surprised that they'd been allowed to remain here but also a little apprehensive at the prospect. What made this world so appealing was its gritty authenticity; she'd always felt so alive in this world but that didn't come without risks that she suspected wouldn't be an issue had she stepped through the doors to Luigi's. But she didn't regret her choice and turning away from Luigi's, and those dark thoughts, she let her gaze settle on Gene once more, her smile slowly resurrecting itself in the process. It grew wider as her eyes slowly wandered down his face to his neck, his loosely knotted tie and unbuttoned collar revealing his throat to her and raising her temperature.

This morning he'd retrieved one of the shirts that had been taking up space in her wardrobe since she'd arrived here; they'd remained there in protest in the beginning, a refusal to admit that she would be staying, but even as time had marched on, and she'd expanded her own range of clothing to the point that space had become a premium, she'd never got rid of the garments. It wasn't because she'd slowly given up on the idea of going home but because she'd realised that the shirts belonged to Gene; given his tendency to drink himself silly at Luigi's, his seniority over the team, and the fact that he had his own key to the flat when no one else did it had slowly dawned on her that he'd been the one to crash there regularly. Until she'd arrived anyway. Yet he'd never uttered a single word of complaint about her taking over the flat and she'd let his shirts stay there as a reminder that there was more to Gene Hunt. And in retrospect that was perhaps the only thing she hadn't got wrong during her time here.

The green shirt he'd picked out didn't exactly match the tie he'd taken from his desk drawer later on in the morning but it certainly worked on him. A question that she'd always wanted to ask but had never found the right time or set of circumstances to do so popped in to her head, put there as much by his appearance as her sudden unwillingness to return to her flat tonight, "Gene, you do have a flat or a house somewhere, don't you?"

He stared at her for beat, nonplussed by her question and wondering if she was still a little crazy, before deciding that, in the grand scheme of things, he didn't actually care. He'd probably never understand her, even if he had an eternity to do so. "Of course I do."

"Then let's get out of here."