[ A one shot based on the Gorillaz (Feat. Little Dragon) song entitled "To Binge". I do not own the Gorillaz, nor do I own their beautiful song which I am basing this story off of. (2D/Murdoc) Also, this song is not actually meant to be taken in this perspective. This is my true wish of how I want it to be.]

To Binge

"Waiting by the mailbox, by the train
Passin' by the hills 'til I hear the name
I'm looking for a saw to cut these chains in half
And all I want is
Someone to rely on as
Thunder comes a rolling down
Someone to rely on as
Lightning comes a staring in again"

Stuart was tapping his fingers against the armrest on the metro train, watching the scenery zoom by like a colorful blur. He kept nodding off, but every now and then there was a small rattle that would startle him a bit from the seat behind him or a loud crash of thunder. The sky was a dark grey, clouds the color of gravy surrounding everything in sight, and there would be a flash of lightning bringing out the high silhouettes of the hilltops which were covered with clusters of trees. The more Stuart watched, the more the landscape become more unfamiliar. He didn't care. He needed to get away from Murdoc as soon as he possibly could.

"Murdoc… 'at bastard," 2D spat under his breath as to not draw attention. He resisted the burn of tears at the edge of his black holes for eyes.

Murdoc had gone too far this time, and he couldn't take his shit anymore.

"I fink 'ave feelin's for you, Murdoc. Ones that I can't explain…" Stuart had mumbled so carelessly to the demon about three hours ago. That was when all hell broke lose, and Murdoc began to beat the living daylights out of him without the slightest hint of mercy. Consequently, Stuart had run as fast as he could to the nearest metro station, not taking a second to look back, and boarded the quickest train to anywhere.

He pulled a small, crumpled letter out of his pocket and opened it up, scanning over the enclosed words once again. It stated where the train would make its arrival.

"Chicago?" Stuart was unfamiliar with the city since he was originally born and bred in England. He sighed contently, placing the letter back into his tight pocket, popped a couple pain pills for his severe headache, and laid his neck back on the seat to close his eyes restfully. Maybe his dreams with would greet him with someone to rely on. Murdoc definitely wouldn't qualify for the part.

Back at Kong Studios…

"I'll wait to be forgiven
Maybe I never will
My star has left me
To take the bitter pill
That shattered feeling
Well the cause of it's a lesson learned
Just don't know if I could roll into the sea again
Just don't know if I could do it all again, she said, "it's true"

Murdoc had punched the wall so many times that his knuckles were bleeding, and he couldn't even feel the pain anymore. There were holes upon holes all throughout the walls of Kong Studios; as if the place wasn't already a pig sty already. His face was red with anger, and he was damp with perspiration.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Murdoc spat, his words dripping with rage. Noodle stood behind him, saying his name numerous times until he finally sat down on the couch, placing the palms over his eyes and massaging his temples weakly. Crimson blood dripped from his hands and stained a rusty brown on his already filthy jeans.

"Murdoc," Noodles voice wrung into his ears, and he glanced up at the twelve year old Asian girl standing before him.

She placed her small delicate hands on his knees and stared him, a worried expression written all over her young face. "You know, "she thought for a moment, "You should… go get him." She said the words with a wise and all-knowing tone of voice as she caressed his legs, trying to comfort the distraught old man. Murdoc remained oblivious to how well she'd gotten in English.

The Satanist stared at the little girl, looking as if he was about to cry. Of course, his expression retreated, and he frowned, holding back his feelings which were hidden deep within him. In all honesty, he felt like a stake had been jammed into his heart, and he was laying there bleeding to death with no one to help him. Noodle could try and help, but nothing would bring his vocalist back but him. His star had left him once again.

"Am I really too stubborn to go after him?" He questioned his conscience. He would never say anything affecting his self image aloud; that was the way Murdoc was. He had to be superior and dominant, acquiring no flaws. Yet, this was his only weakness; the fact that he knew what he did was wrong, and those words. Yes, those cruel words he had spat so carelessly at Stuart. He had gone too far, and he was aware of this. Murdoc glanced back to Noodle, sighing deeply as he spoke the words, almost inaudible, "I don't think I can do it all again, Noods," he scratched at his jaw, "but I 'ave to, right?"

Noodle nodded, a smile finding its way to the corner of her lips at his progress of communication. She said, "It's true."

With that, Murdoc jumped from his seat, saying nothing. Noodle watched him race out of Kong Studios to the car park. She heard the slam of the door to his Winnebago, revving the engine up, and the tires squealed off until she couldn't hear him anymore. Noodle giggled. "Bakaaa…" she wandered off to her room.

Somewhere in an Abandoned Apartment…

"Waiting in my room and I lock the door
I watch the colored animals across the floor
And I'm looking from a distance
And I'm listening to the whispers
And oh it ain't the same, when you're falling out of feeling and you're
Falling in and caught again"

Stuart was sitting in an empty room, his knees pressed tightly against his chest. His eyes were pink with burning tears, and the room temperature was unbelievably cold. Apparently, being in Chicago wasn't a good place to go in late Fall. He disposed of this thought, and his mind wandered back to Murdoc. He knew that the old man find him eventually; in time. He always managed to, so basically, Stuart was just waiting for him to arrive at the door which the vocalist had locked much earlier. "As if that'll 'elp any," he had told himself previously. If Murdoc believed that he was in that room, that door would be blown down in an instant.

Why didn't he keep moving? Why did he stay and wait for Murdoc to come find him? These cognitions had run through his empty abyss for a brain, but slipped his mind, and he remained where he was with his bony back pressed against the wall. The room was bare from top the bottom, and he looked out the only window. The celestial stars were blocked by clouds and he looked back to the walls inside. The only thing that caught his attention was a mass of multi colored animals aligned across the floor against the adjacent wall. The reason for them being there did not concern the lad as he watched them intently for minutes upon minutes since there was nothing else he could possibly do in the godforsaken place to which he had absolutely no knowledge of.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bent cigarette, the flame to light it brightening the dirty room a bit. The flicker of the lighter left just as quick as it came, and his surroundings were like a black abyss once again. He inhaled the smoke and closed his black bruised eyes.

Emotions of loneliness engulfed him, and his tears began to flood his flushed cheeks. He wiped them away with the palms of his hands, but they were only to come back again, moistening his pale skin. He put out his cigarette on the wall, not bothering to smoke the rest.

Stuart began to think of how Murdoc had caused him so many tears, yet he also realized of how Murdoc had sometimes helped him in his times of sorrow, yet it was rare and never spoken of to anyone. He thought of how Murdoc used to push him around and bit his neck causing him to bleed, but then he realized how sometimes he would enjoy the sensation of Murdoc's body being close to him, his lips tightly around his neck as his sharp teeth punctured his nape. As always, Stuart was caught up again in a wreckage of emotions raging in his heart. This time it was different; not the same.

"Will I just keep falling into this endless cycle, caught again, over and over…" he began to talk to himself quietly, and his thoughts trailed off, becoming irrelevant. Eventually, he was just listening to his own whispers bouncing off the walls of the room.

"And oh it ain't the same, when you're falling out of feeling and you're
falling in and caught again"

Stuart was startled by a loud crash echoing from the lower floors of the abandoned apartment. Loud stomping was heard coming up the steps, and he heard as each and every door was being kicked open.

"Murdoc!" Stuart's heart fluttered, but he immediately grew terrified as the door being kicked open was his own. He stumbled up to his feet, his knees shaking as the demon came hurling towards him, grabbing a fistful of his white T-shirt.

"I'm caught again in the mystery
you're by my side, but are you still with me?
the answer's somewhere deep in it, I'm sorry that you're feeling it

But I just have to tell that I love you so much these days
have to tell you that I love you so much these days, it's true"

The Satanist's words came out in a loud exasperated tone. "Why did y'run off on me like 'at!" His voice echoed in the darkness. Murdoc's question seemed irrelevant; he knew exactly why Stu had run off on him. He released his tight grip from the boy, whom was hyperventilating, and Murdoc's eyes retreated to the stained wooden floor as he sighed deeply. He took a new approach on the situation and looked up at the trembling vocalist whom was too scared to utter a single syllable. He placed his rough hand on Stuart's shoulder gently, and the vocalist flinched, closing his eyes. He opened them slowly upon the realization that there was no pain. Murdoc was looking at him, and Stuart recognized the expression of sorrow in his multi colored eyes. He was caught again in the mystery of how much Murdoc was actually concerned about him.

"I'm sorry." Murdoc wasn't too well with words or feelings, so this was all he could shovel out from his egotistical mind. His method of simply apologizing was to no avail. Stuart remained annoyingly silent, staring at the demon before him.

Murdoc sighed, rubbing his forehead and mumbled something that Stuart could not hear.

"Wot?" Stu managed to shakily question the bassist, relaxing a bit whence he sensed no aggressiveness from the old man.

Murdoc hesitated a bit until he blurted out loudly into Stuart's face, "I need ye face ache! I need ye more then ye think…" his voice trailed off, and looked down with the illusion that his pride had just fell to floor. The bassist felt the singer's arms snake around him; he pressed his bony body against that of Murdoc's. The were standing there in a tight embrace, speechless

"I'm caught again in the mystery
you're by my side, but are you still with me?"

"I love ye… Murdoc," Stuart had managed to whisper nervously into Murdoc's ear. He was hoping that the demon would not react as he did earlier, but he had to get his feelings out. He knew how he felt, how he had all this time, and he was going to be assertive with the Satanist. Stuart felt Murdoc's heart beat against his chest, and he pulled away from the demon whose face was a rosy pink. Stuart looked down, embarrassed and a blush spread across his cheeks which were already pink with tears.

Murdoc grabbed Stuart and their faces were inches apart. He looked at him with sincere eyes as he whispered, "I love ye so much these days, dullard… will you come back and stay by my side?"

Stuart didn't hesitate as he nodded, intertwining his fingers around Murdoc's, noticing the scabs on his knuckles.

Murdoc made a grumbling noise, trying not to sound all sappy with the lad as he leaned over and placed a small peck on Stuart's cheek, making the singer blush.

"Cute," Murdoc thought to him and scrapped the thought, his face growing to the color of an apple.

It seemed as though his heart had taken its own laws, and was oblivious to his previous morals of never affecting his self image. For the time being it didn't matter. His emotions had their own autonomy. and were reluctant to Murdoc's original nature. He would have to come to accept these feelings, caught again in the love for his precious vocalist, Stuart.

"My heart is in economy
due to this autonomy
rolling in and caught again
caught again"