Why won't you meet my eye?
You said I could tell you anything.
Don't walk away.
Please don't walk away.
I didn't walk when I learned about you.
Don't I deserve the same?
Your right.
You're all right.
The death toll was too different.
You were a pawn.
I was the controller.
There's sympathy now.
I guess it 's better than hate or fear.
But I wish you'd look at me the same way you did five minutes ago.
But those five minutes ago wasn't me.
It was the me of the past.
The one I tried to become for you.
For all of you.
But I couldn't lie to you.
I just couldn't.
I was done wearing the past as a mask.
Using time as a costume.
I couldn't be what I was.
So I took the mask off to reveal the monster I'd become.
To wear the blood I had shed.
To promise their revenge.
And still you won't meet my eyes.
I guess it's fair.
I guess I'm done.
For now.
I guess now I've created the divide line.
Between you and me.
I wish it hadn't ended like this.
Unfortunately that is my only regret.
But you don't understand.
None of you do. Not even you.
The pain I live through every day.
My insides burn with the taste of their blood.
My ears bleed with the sounds of their final screams.
You have no idea the type of hell I call my life.
How could any of you?
You're all too innocent.
And even you haven't shed enough.
I want to be alone now.
No not alone,
I'll never be alone.
Their screams will always be with me.
But I want to be away from you.
As far away as possible from the sympathetic eyes.
Especially your eyes.
The ones that won't meet mines.
So I guess you can go now.
I've said all that I need to.
I'm shown you my scars.
Even the ones that will never heal.
So leave me now,
Go please.
You've ripped me from my throne.
Dragged me through the mud
And thrown me in jail.
But I can't say that I didn't deserve it.
I watch you all leave.
And you still haven't meet my eye.
But I guess it's fair.
Even if it takes you forever.
I know what you feel.
I still can't stand looking at myself.
But now all else are gone.
Just you and me.
Why? You ask.
Are you angry? Sad?
I'm not sure I always had trouble placing you when you got like this.
So I use the only shield I have.
The truth.
I did because they couldn't.
You look at me,
But you don't see me.
You see my scars. You see the blood.
You say things to me that I wish I'd never heard.
And if anyone asks I'd deny.
Not for myself but for you.
And now your gone.
All of you are.
It's alright. I'd leave too.
If I could.
But I wished you all would make more sound than the engines of your cars driving away.
Leaving me with them.
I guess it's time I stop running.
I guess it's time I face them.