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Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs.

Note: I like angst as well as anyone but I do prefer happy-ish endings.

It's been three years, two months, and seventeen days since Jake left with hardly a word. Is it sad that I know that off the top of my head? I can't bear to keep track of how long it's been since Tom died. With Tom, though, I know that he's gone. Jake might still be alive. Each day, that hope grows dimmer but I'll never believe that he's dead until I find the body.

I wasn't feeling like cooking so Steve decided to and, being Steve, by 'cook' he meant 'ordered Chinese.'

The doorbell rang. I was in the middle of setting something up to tape so I called out, "Can you get that? I think the food's here!" It was a little early, sure, but who would complain about something like that? It's only when you've been waiting an hour and a half and they said thirty minutes or less that things start to become a problem and, aside from holidays, that's usually not a problem at the places we order from or else we soon find new places to order from.

"Okay, be right there!" Steve called back.

I started clearing off the table. Something was strange. This normally didn't take so long.

"Jean!" Steve called out, slightly panicking and completely disbelieving. "Jean, honey! Come here!"

"What?" I called back, curiously.

"Just…just come here!" Steve said, his voice sounding more urgent.

I walked over to the front door with a magazine that I had been moving still in my hand, wondering why Steve just wouldn't tell me what was going on. Evidently this wasn't the Chinese food after all. And then I saw why.

I immediately dropped the magazine and was vaguely glad that I hadn't had something more breakable in my hand.

The man at the door was older than I remembered (three years, two months, and seventeen days older than I remembered) but I would know him anywhere.

"Jake!" I burst out before launching myself at him and hugging him tightly.

He returned the hug with just as much ferocity and I never wanted him to let go.

He did, eventually, though and eyed his father and I like he was a starving man. "I never thought I'd see you again."

"We weren't the ones who left," Steve said quietly.

Jake nodded and a shadow passed across his face. "I know. And…I'm sorry. I know I said that before but after all this time I don't think another apology is out of place."

I shook my head. "We don't need an apology, Jake. We just need you."

Jake smiled at that. "Well, since you've got me and an apology to boot, is it okay if I come in?"

I was horrified that he'd even had to ask and I turned to glare at my husband.

"What?" he asked defensively. "I had other things on my mind!"

"Come in, of course you can come in!" I exclaimed, grabbing Jake by the arm and pulling him into the house.

He looked around in wonder. "It hasn't changed a bit."

It had, actually, changed a little in the last three years but most of it was the same.

Jake followed us into the kitchen and we sat down at the table.

"We're just waiting for Chinese," Steve said by way of explanation.

I couldn't take my eyes off of my living – he was still alive! – child. He was older, yes, but somehow he didn't look as burdened as he had before. He had slowly been getting better after the war ended (or at least I thought he had), particularly after the trial but it had still not been enough.

Even if you hadn't known what Jake had accomplished in his short life – he was only just old enough to drink – then just by looking at him you could tell it was a lot. But he looked…I don't even know how to describe it. Not happier, exactly. Maybe healthier? Maybe less likely to take those that he killed or failed to save with him everywhere he went.

This was only my first time seeing Jake in so very long that I could be completely wrong but God I hope I'm not.

Jake nodded. "That's good. I'm starving."

I couldn't take it any longer. "Jake…what happened? How are you back?"

Jake looked at the ceiling. "It's…complicated. I can't really talk about most of it for the same reasons that I couldn't before-"

"The same reasons that you can't tell us?" I cut in, trying not to sound bitter but knowing that I probably failed.

Jake looked sheepish. "I'm sorry but if we're going to get away with what we did then we really need no one to know what happened."

"Are you going to get away with whatever you did?" Steve asked, concerned. "I mean, it was all over the news how you guys stole that old Andalite ship."

"That old Yeerk ship," Jake corrected as if it somehow mattered. "And yeah, we are. I'm not sure what the details are but they promised they'd work something out."

I didn't even bother to ask who 'they' was. If he couldn't even tell us what happened then he certainly wouldn't tell us that.

"What can you tell us?" I asked. He had said that he couldn't tell us most of it but most wasn't all.

"We encountered Ax stranded somewhere," Jake told us. "Everyone else was dead but we got his distress call and managed to save him."

"That sounds a little unlikely," Steve said frowning.

Jake shrugged. "Probably, yeah. I wasn't about to question it, though. And who knows? Maybe the Ellimist was involved. Marco thinks that Jeanne might agree to go out with him soon despite the fact that it's been three years and we took a vote and agreed that it's never going to happen."

"That sounds…remarkably persistent," I said diplomatically.

"Jeanne was the only girl we took with us," Jake explained.

"So your friend Ax is alright?" I asked him, concerned. After what Rachel's death did to him, I really didn't want to see him lose another friend.

Jake nodded. "Yeah. He's a little…things are weird and he went through some stuff but I think he's going to be okay. He was actually comforting Tobias a little towards the end which can only be a good sign, right?"

"Why did Tobias need comforting?" Steve asked.

Jake looked awkward. "Well…right after we finished doing that thing that we needed to do Marco decided that he wasn't just going to sit back and watch Tobias die of old age at twenty-something and so he might have talked him into morphing human and then tricked him into staying past the limit."

I was torn. On the one hand, I hadn't thought it was at all healthy for that boy to live in the forest as a hawk and Jake was right that it would be a shame for him to die of old age when he was so young but to have his choice taken away from him like that…it didn't seem right.

"Is that…ethical?" I asked hesitantly.

"I don't know," Jake replied honestly. "Probably not but it's not like Tobias was going to do it himself. Honestly, I would have expected this more from Rachel than Marco but we were on The Rachel so maybe that influenced him. Marco said he had to do this now because a twenty-two-year-old looking thirteen was bad enough but the longer it went on the more pathetic it would be."

I was shocked to hear him mention Rachel so openly. He never spoke about her before he left even if he did spend all of that time at her grave. But three years is a long time (three years for the war, three years for after with Jake, and three years for Jake to be gone) and this could only be a good sign, the fact that he was able to refer to her in such a lighthearted way.

"Did everyone make it?" Steve asked quietly.

Jake looked wistful. "It's never a case of everyone making it. Never. I guess this time it wasn't so hard because I had been sort of expecting this since I agreed to go. Not that I didn't do my best to bring them all back!" He looked like it was very important that we understand this. "It's just…"

"We know, honey," I said, covering my hand with his.

"At the risk of sounding insensitive…who died?" Steve inquired. "Or can't you tell us?"

Jake hesitated. "I suppose I can tell you. Just make sure not to go spreading it around just in case."

I knew better than to be insulted by the unintentional implication that we would idly gossip about something like that.

"Of course not," I said instead.

"There was an Andalite turned human nothlit," Jake explained. "We couldn't save him…He knew Ax and so he was just glad that we managed to save him but I wish we could have saved him as well."

"You can't save everyone," Steve said almost automatically.

A slightly bitter smile. "Oh, I'm well aware of that. And I didn't order him to die this time, not like before. I think I'm going to be okay. Really."

"I'm just glad you're back," I said honestly.

Jake's smile turned genuine. "And I'm glad to be back."

"Promise us that you won't take off into space again," Steve practically ordered.

Jake laughed. "I'll do my best. But, you know, I hadn't really been planning on going this time. But tell me how everyone here has been? Marco said that I should probably avoid his mother for awhile."

I winced. "That…might be a good idea. She wasn't…happy that Marco left with you." That was putting it mildly. Eva had been quite vocal about her feelings about my son even around me so I shudder to think what she was really thinking. But maybe the fact that Marco was back in one piece would help on that front. Just in case, avoiding her would probably be for the best.

"I can't think of anything really new on our front," Steve said, shrugging. Life hadn't stopped. It never did, however much you might wish it did sometimes. There would be lots of little things to fill Jake in on later but nothing important enough to warrant telling Jake about during our reunion. We had plenty of time to get into all of that later and I revelled in that fact.

But there was one thing that I thought he should know.

"Cassie broke up with Ronnie Chambers," I told him. I didn't mention the two she had had since him as they were over with as well. "Not long after you left."

I'm not naïve. I know that that ship has long since sailed and it would probably never come back (this wasn't a Jane Austen novel) but I think he should know anyway. And maybe without the awkwardness of his being the ex and her having a boyfriend they can finally talk.

Jake shrugged and I couldn't tell what he thought of the news. "Maybe I'll call her."

He always said that.

But this time I thought that maybe he actually would.

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