A/N:: Just angst that I've been itching to get out of my system. I have five other parts (and possibly an epilogue) that I intend to write to go along with this, so hopefully the vagueness can be excused. oTL
Disclaimer:: Glee is not mine.
~.~.~
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt tries to remind himself of that, but it's not the easiest thing in the world to do with Finn Hudson lying next to him, bare and sweaty and looking too goddamn adorable while he sleeps.
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt knew it wouldn't from the very beginning; he knew that whatever Finn did would mean absolutely nothing, because he was emotionally unstable and he was angry and Kurt was just there.
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt thinks he might be a masochist. He can't think of any other logical reason to explain having thought that letting Finn into his Calvin Kleins would still sound like a good idea in the morning.
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt never stopped loving Finn; he's known that all along. He thinks that Finn must have known that, too, if he had the reasoning ability to come to Kurt when he was broken and in need of an empty lay. (He likes that option better than the one where Finn was willing to rape someone if it meant he could fill a hole, anyway.)
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt knows that no matter how many times he mentally repeats it to himself, it'll never be true to him. Because even if it didn't mean anything other than pity and desperation to Finn, it meant so much more to Kurt.
It doesn't mean anything.
Because Kurt's a masochist like that.
-.-
It doesn't mean anything.
It's the first thought that pops into Finn's head when he wakes up with an undressed and disheveled Kurt curled into the fetal position next to him, facing the wall and revealing the expanse of bruised flesh that is his back.
It doesn't mean anything.
Finn had been angry, really angry, when he came home. He hadn't meant to end up taking it out on Kurt. He hadn't meant to push him down onto the bed and tear off his expensive clothing just because he could, just because he had the physical capabilities to.
It doesn't mean anything.
Finn feels like a douche, and a slut. Only a douche would let himself fuck his step-brother – his totally in love with him step-brother – and take advantage of the little guy's emotions. Only a slut would let himself fuck his step brother – his totally in love with him step-brother – just thirty minutes after what was perhaps the hardest break-up conversation he'd ever been on the receiving end of.
It doesn't mean anything.
Kurt never stopped loving Finn; Finn knew that all along. It was what gave Finn the idea to splay Kurt on the bed in the first place. Because Kurt was there, and Kurt wanted him, just like how Rachel wasn't there, and how she didn't want him anymore.
It doesn't mean anything.
Finn really hopes that Kurt knows it didn't mean anything, because he can't deal with that kind of drama right now. He just needed to let out some stress, and Kurt was there and willing to take it for him.
It doesn't mean anything.
Except somehow, Finn sort of doesn't feel empty, like he did after Santana.