"Izaya! Table four, c'mon!" Shinra called him through the window connecting the dining hall and the janitorial room, where a few workers where right now, taking a break or preparing something. The room was small and it had a table with a few tables on the center of it. Izaya looked up from a poker game, saying.

"Yeah, guys. Already six pm, people are coming and the game is over." Around the table were Erika, Walker and Kida, some of the waiters from the restaurant. Izaya got up and away from them. He wore a perfectly cleaned and ironed button-up white shirt, black pants and a belt. He got his apron, tying it around his waist. It was a black apron with thin white stripes that he personally loved.

He walked out on the dining hall and eyed the table. Two people; a man and a woman. He got the wine chart and walked over to the place, glancing back to Shinra. Shinra was their maître. Albeit having a playful personality outside, he was very serious on his job. Shinra nodded in affirmation and rushed towards the front door to receive their newly guests. Izaya smiled his smile, a smile of confidence and so heart-warming that everybody admired him. And he knew it.

"Good evening. I am Orihara Izaya, the sommelier from this restaurant and I'll be aiding you tonight. May I offer you the wine chart?" Izaya looked from one to another, straight in their eyes. Then he noted the most important thing when you're serving someone; who's leading the table. Decades ago, it was always the man who commanded the table; nowadays, it could be anyone. And so, the man was quiet but the woman quickly added.

"Oh, please. I would love to see the chart." And so, Izaya gave the menu for her. And waited a bit… Soon enough she would direct her word to him again. The brunet looked around. The hall was nicely decorated, like it was every day. Izaya loved working here. He liked most of the people and it was a high class restaurant and Izaya considered himself a high class person. It was better like this.

"Orihara-san?" Izaya focused his attention on his clients.

"Yes?"

"What do you suggest?" Izaya grinned and leaned closer to the woman.

"I must tell you it depends. May I ask what you have in mind for dinner today?"

The woman glanced at the man on the other side of the table, as if waiting for confirmation. He was obviously disturbed by Izaya's looked, the way he practically glared to him. Even if that made Izaya's ego go off the roof, he had to please all his clients.

"Sir?"

The man stuttered and said. "We were thinking about the Quiche Lorraine." Izaya's smile widened.

"Sure. In that case, I suggest you to get a Pinot Noir from the same region." There are three basic principles in harmonizing food and wine; by contrast, by similarity and by region. Nothing more fitting to a Quiche Lorraine than a wine from the same region.
It would be perfect. Pinot noir is a grape slightly lighter to combine with the gruyere cheese which is a bit salty; the nutmeg over it would also increase and intensify the wine. It was perfect.

"Oh, that would be great." Izaya bowed still smiling and the man finally relaxed, smiling back to the brunet.

"Wonderful. I hope you enjoy your meal." And so, he walked away. Now, to the next part of the procedure. He got a white cloth to hold the bottle and carried it to the table, showing it to his clients by the right side.

"Excuse me… Here it is."

"Oh, wonderful." The woman smiled and he served a bit to her. Like almost everyone, she pretended to know how to taste a wine; she smelled and had a sip. "It's delicious." With that, Izaya nodded, going around the table to serve her companion first; that's the rule, to serve first the guest and later the one who ordered the wine. He filled half of his cup and then he went back to her, filling hers now.

"I hope I was of your assistance. Have a good time." And smiling, he walked away.

The restaurant was pretty full that night and Izaya was very busy himself serving everyone. It wasn't hard at all, just tiring. He didn't care; he loved his job. Finally the restaurant closed for the night. They were all on their small room, some sitting and others complaining or gossiping about someone famous or whatever who happened to be there tonight.

"KYAAA ~ Did you see her? Hijiribe Ruri was here today!" Erika was holding hands with Walker, both of them thoroughly excited while jumping around while their friend, Togusa who is the steward, which means he spends his nights cleaning up dirty dishes, was sobbing on the other corner of them room.

"That's so unfair…"

Shinra was laughing and Izaya sighed. They were all crazy in this restaurant, he included. A few moments later, their chef entered the room.

"What's going on here?" Yagiri Namie was a cold businesswoman, even if she was the cook. She had built her name all over Japan and was pretty famous. She was single, no one really knew why. Izaya did, though. She was in love with her little brother but it was not responded. And the next one who entered the room…

Heiwajima Shizuo.

Izaya's eyes shone with admiration. Shizuo was the sous-chef from the restaurant and Izaya's ex-boyfriend. They had a long story together that didn't work out in the end. Still, Izaya could feel his heart jumping at every sight of him. He was tall and had blond hair, which was now covered by his toque. Izaya smiled, forgetting all about the noise that was going on around them, taking his time to admire and absorb everything about this man. Izaya was aware that he could live every second of his day just to meet Shizuo when the restaurant closes. He was aware of how much he loved the man. He was aware that he would never forgive himself for losing him. He was aware of how much his heart ached; constantly screaming to get the hell away from him; but Izaya was also a masochist. It didn't matter how much it hurt him… He just wanted to be close to him.

And a few minutes later, everyone was exempted from their duties and Izaya was again alone, without the blond. He sighed, putting his things together and walking home. Actually, it wasn't so bad. Sometimes they would walk together, Izaya taking a larger stroll just to be with him a little longer. But not today. He guessed Shizuo wasn't in the mood for talking, such a pity.

When he got home, he took a long shower and got to bed. Izaya's schedule was the following;
He usually woke up around ten o'clock. The restaurant only opened at night so Izaya had the day off. As a sommelier, he had a good salary but even so, he was a writer too. He tasted wines for an important culinary magazine and wrote articles about them. Izaya could never deny that he was a good and successful critic.

But that wasn't enough. Drinking wonderful wines everyday was great. Working on a five-star restaurant was cool. Having a super high class apartment in Shinjuku was nice too. But he felt something missing. Sometimes he wondered if that apartment wasn't too big for him alone. Sometimes he wished he could spend his money on someone besides himself.

With those thoughts haunting him, he fell asleep. In his dream, he saw everything happening again…

= A few years ago… =

"Shizu-chan!"

"Izaya. Good morning." Shizuo smiled to him. They were both younger, wearing high school uniforms. They were dating and Shizuo was his. At that time Izaya was so self-confident. It was so easy to just look and seduce Shizuo with his eyes. Damn, his first, second, third and God knows how many times, sex was with the blond. They were in love. They promised eternal love to one another.

Shizuo always liked cooking. He was even good at it. Izaya wasn't fond of cooking himself, he had other interests.

The brunet himself wasn't sure what happened. One day, Shizuo grinned to him like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm going to France, Izaya. My father is sending me there… So I can study at the Paul Bocuse Institute." Izaya's world practally fell right there. France? Fucking France? So far away. He tried to smile and to calm himself down. Yeah, he had a whole year to be with him before he went.

But time goes by too fast.

"Shizu-chan…"

"Izaya. Please… Don't look at me like that." They were at the airport, everything ready and packed to go, except Izaya, who was being left behind and heartbroken. He sobbed.

"How the hell do you expect me to look at you? Sorry if I can't fucking smile at this situation."

"Hey…" They weren't much of a public affection couple, but neither of them cared right now. Shizuo held his chin, tilting it towards his face and kissing his lips, slowly and deeply. "Listen to me. I love you. I wish you could go with me… But you can't. I'll be back for holidays in six months."

Izaya sobbed again. Great, six months. Shizuo smiled sadly and held him tightly. Izaya ignored completely Shizuo's parents and brother who were just there, standing and watching it all. After a while, a voice called all passengers to Paris, France and Shizuo squeezed Izaya. "Hey… Izaya, c'mon. Please. You'll be fine… Let me say goodbye to my family."

Even if Izaya wanted to hold him forever, he let him go. Then he hugged his family and everyone said goodbye happily. Fuck… Why was Izaya the only one depressed about that? Weren't his family going to miss him too?

Deep into his heart Izaya knew how selfish he was. He knew that this was Shizuo's dream and that his family was happy for him. But this wasn't fair. Izaya would leave any dream behind to be with Shizuo. Why couldn't him do the same? Sometime later, Izaya regretted so much that he never said 'I love you' to Shizuo on the airport. Maybe it would make all the difference.

Six months later, Shizuo came back. Still… It wasn't the same thing, at all. One day, sitting on the bench, the blond broke up with him. He cried, begged, asked but nothing changed his mind. He said that there was no way they could keep this relationship. Izaya bitterly replied that he was aware of this since the beginning. It was not a nice break up at all, for any of them.

Years later, when Izaya though he was totally over the blond, they met yet again. Shiki, the restaurant manager was an old acquaintance of Izaya. By the way, he was the one that suggested Izaya to become a sommelier. So he called Izaya to work for him. Then he found out that Shizuo was there. He was back from France and had a job as sous-chef at the restaurant.

Izaya at first thought he wouldn't care. C'mon, it was just an ex high school boyfriend. With time… He changed his mind. He learnt to care about Shizuo all over again. How come he was so addicting?

And then he learned about iher/i. Somewhere along the way, Shizuo met this Russian girl in Paris who was studying nutrition. They fell in love and dated for a few years. When he came back to Japan, he brought her with him and they shared an apartment. iCool, Shizuo./i So that girl you bring to Japan, but never thought about trying to get Izaya to go to Paris.

Izaya could practically see Shizuo and that girl having wine at the borders of Seine and kissing her all night long while Izaya was left behind, trying to calm himself down with his own fucking hand, while waiting for his boyfriend to come back.

He woke up on the next morning with his face wet by tears.

Throughout the years as Izaya started living by himself after he and Shizuo had broken up, the brunet developed a strong impression that you could buy anything with money. Everything had a price. Anyone had a price. It depended on how much. Izaya went through a lot of things and he always figured money could solve his problems. And it usually did. There were two people Izaya was certain that would never let themselves be bought by him. The first one is Shiki. When they met, Izaya tried to buy him not only with money but with his body too.

Shiki just shrugged and said. "Don't do it, kid. You're smart, shouldn't throw your life away like that." Izaya glared at him. He was aware of how smart he was and he hated when things didn't go as he planned. But with time, Izaya learned to deal with Shiki. Not through his means, though. Shiki would much rather sit, talk and be convinced by words than to let himself be bought by Izaya. Albeit Izaya was sure Shiki had some illegal dealings going on.

The other person Izaya could never buy with money was Shizuo. He never quite understood why, but Shizuo had this honesty aura all around him. He would never exchange his interests and what he believed was right for money. Ever. It made Izaya admire and hate him even more.

On Mondays the restaurant didn't open. From Tuesday to Sunday it opened at six and closed around midnight. The workers usually had to work from four pm to two am, the cooks to prepare the mise en place; a term which means literally 'putting in place'. It's the first step to prepare food, where all the ingredients are organized and arranged. While the waiters had to clean the dining hall and set up the tables.
And of course, once a month, the bitch, as Izaya usually referred to her came to the restaurant to have dinner. Then she would stick around until two in the morning so she could go home all lovey-dovey with his Heiwajima Shizuo.

That was the worst day of the month. Though he pretended it wasn't. Unfortunately for him, Vorona, the bitch, lived in this illusion that they were friends. Yeah, right.

"Izaya-san!" He turned around at her voice and smirked.

"Hello, Vorona. Fancy seeing you here." She giggled.

"What are you talking about, Izaya-san? I'm always here at our anniversary." She smiled like she was so fucking proud of coming here every fucking month on the same fucking day. 'The day Shizuo-kun asked me to be his girlfriend.' Fuck you, Vorona. Fuck you, Shizuo. What did the blondie have that Izaya didn't? Except for the obvious, like boobs and a freaking vagina, what else? She's so innocent and boring. Izaya was so mischievous and fun.

Izaya's eyes flared in anger and jealously. He hated it. The day he hated the most was the fifteenth. He stared at her, congratulating himself because he never let his mask fall during these horrible nights.

He hated her. Still, if he could, he wanted to be her. He wanted to be a blonde cutie that Shizuo liked. He wished to innocently go to Paris to study, then meet the most handsome guy in the world, make out with him in the most romantic city in the world and then move back to Japan and live with him.

He would give anything to be on her place. … Anything.

And it hurt so badly when Shizuo was free from kitchen duty and went to meet her. He would hold her hand and they would smile to one another. Smile like nothing else mattered in this world. Izaya knew that smile very well. Because some time ago that smile was meant for him. Still, even when everyone around him was laughing and having fun, he was just leaning against the wall feeling depressed. They were all barely noticing he was still there. Except for one person, who got away from others and asked.

"Izaya-kun, are you alright?" He clenched his fists raising his head to stare at those blue eyes that belonged to the girl he hated the most.

"Yeah, yeah… Just tired, don't worry." She nodded and smiled to him, going back to her place alongside Shizuo who barely cast a glance to Izaya.

I hate her, I hate her, I hate her… Why can't you look at me? Why can't you look at me and see that I'm suffering because of you?
Shizu-chan… Shizu-chan… I love you. So much more than she ever will. I love you.