Well, I needed to write something angsty, so enjoy, if you like that kind of thing...

I don't own Hetalia! end /AN/

Lithuania sat quietly on the end of the dock, surveying the water. It was as placid as the sea could be expected to be, and he felt almost drawn into the ripples of it. He wished he could just be lost in the calming feeling, and become one with the water, like the Asian nations might say. He wasn't sure which ones, but he was sure at least one of them would say something like that.

Or maybe America would say something like that. The guy was, on and off again, into all that New Age stuff. Sometimes it was a little weird, like the time America had tried to arrange the rooms in his house so the feng shui was right, but it was yet another thing Lithuania liked about him. He was lovable, he was touchable, and always smiling, it seemed. Not when the economy had crashed, of course, the first time or the second.

But that wasn't important right now, Lithuania reflected, as he stared out across the gray waters. The purple sky beyond seemed to call his name, telling him to come home, to come and be with it forever. He smiled, but without a trace of humor. He really should have called Estonia and Latvia to tell them where he was going to be... they would be so worried. They wouldn't be able to find him here.

It did trouble him, honestly, but not enough to take out his cell phone and make the saving call. He fingered his phone for a moment, before leaving it be, staring at the pretty purple and pink sunset. He wanted to remember this moment, because it would be a long time before he saw anything that pretty again.

A flash of worry went through. What would the other nations think, if they saw him here? What would they think of what his plans for the future were? For the future was dismal, and he did not know if he wanted his name shamed in such a way. But it wasn't as though his plans were that unusual. A good ten to twenty million people did the exact same thing every year.

Of course, he was going about it in an unusual way, to be sure. It was so he wouldn't be discovered, for who knew how the other nations might react? They would think he was insane. No, his plan was sound, but it had to be secret.

Lithuania wondered, vaguely, how many of the nations had tried something like this before. It was logical, it was painfully obvious, this was the way to solve his problems. He didn't know what Russia would think. Would he smile, at his attacks on Lithuania's psyche and body finally getting a real reaction? Or would he find him and drag him out, only to mock him?

And what would America do? He would be heartbroken- no, heartbroken was too strong a word. America probably barely remembered how strong their camraderie had been. Lithuania refused to let his eyes sting with tears at the thought, though his heart gave a painful throb.

He'd always expected, when he got free, that America would sweep him off his feet, and wipe away those horrible memories. It was foolish, really, and so childish to have such a dream, but when it didn't come true, he was devastated. It had been about twenty years since, but he'd never gotten over feeling alone and naked in the world.

But now, that would end. Lithuania solemnly pushed the anchor chained to his leg over the edge of the dock, and he had only moments before he was pulled in, submerged completely in the cold water, and going down, down, down.

He held his breath only out of survival instinct, not a real will to live, for those adrenaline-pumped minutes he was down there, he could think one thing:

He was free now, and they would never find him.

Those were his last thoughts before he completely blacked out, sucking in water in his lungs' desperate attempts for air. And Lithuania died, but not for the first time.

/AN/ I've never written a suicide fic before, please, tell me how I did. And if you want a sequel chapter, where they find him and revive him, please let me know as well.