This was originally a gag list for Nekocon, but I had a bunch of people ask if I could type it up as post it for them to read. My handwriting sucks even when I'm trying. ^_^

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or the UN, or anything that might be mentioned in this. I also do not own the Skippy's List, from which I got a bunch of ideas.

I updated the list, fixed a few errors, and added in a rule that I forgot!

Time to Have Some Fun!

The List

1. My Title is the United States of America, and not Princess Pocahontas. (Yes, I was really that drunk that night! And no England, I don't know where the jewelry came from.)

2. I will stop call-blocking England.
- And Russia
- Prussia too
- And my current Leader

3. During meetings, when Germany yells STOP! it is not an invitation to jump up and yell 'Hammer Time!'

4. I will not ask England if my short-term memory issues come from him.

5. I may not bring gum to meetings unless I have enough for everyone.
- I may not bring gum even IF I have enough. (And do you know how much over 300 pieces of gum cost?)

6. I may not kill Mexico and her girlfriend for bringing fleas into my home last time they 'visited.'

7. I will not argue with Prussia over who's more Awesome while on government time.

8. I will not sing 'Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop' around Germany. (It was hilarious when Prussia joined in though)
- I will not sing anything from the Producers.
- I will no longer sing.

9. I will not quote Mel Brooks anything.

10. I will not convert the UN building into a zombie-proof shelter.

11. I will not quote Max Brooks or George Romano either.

12. In reference to anything, I will not quote The Dead Parrot skit.

13. I will not ask to see Ukraine's 'Tracks of Land.'

14. The following words and phrases are not to used: Hero, Giant Robots, Kalishnikovs, puppies, Austria's in denial, German marriage laws, (involving animals!) aliens, Melting Pot, Atlantis, Captain America, Dead Fantasy, tomatoes, Pirates, or any references to squid.

15. I will not try to kill Estonia by making him divide by zero.

16. I am to wear my proper uniform and not a Captain America costume.

17. I will not sing 'If you Were Gay,' in reference to the Italy Brothers, Germany, and Spain.
- I will not sing anything from Avenue Q.
- I will not sing.

18. I will attempt to not antagonize France anymore.

19. I will not tell 300 jokes around Greece.

20. I will not ask India for a few Rupees so I can go and save Princess Zelda.

21. I will not bring in a pig with cardboard wings and yell 'Swine Flu!'

22. For my own health, I will not tell Hungary to go and 'Whip me up something tasty in the kitchen.'

23. I will not ask Sweden about IKEA.

24. I will not tell Italy that 'I beat you like a red-headed step-child during WWII!' Germany tends to hurt me for that. (I'm telling you, it was the 60s, I've been clean since!)

25. I am not authorized to change national policy in Eastern Europe.

26. I cannot trade my Leader to the Russians. Putin's not much of a better choice.

27. 'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question.

28. I should not tell Sealand to threaten suicide with pop-rocks and Coke just to get attention.

29. No, the pants are not optional.

30. Canada is not a ninja, we just keep losing track up him.

31. Do not convince France to attempt to shave with fire again. Ever.

32. Must not get Russia a subscription to gay porn.

33. Will not say 'Is this Crap Flammable?' just to empty the room.

34. Must not attempt to communicate using only Lady Gaga lyrics.
- Once again, I may not sing.

35. I will never wear that hat again.

36. I will not put decaf in Turkey's coffee.

37. I will not ask China if 'he so horny, he rlove me rlooong time!'

38. I will not quote Saturday Night Live.
- No China, you do not look like Mrs. Obama.

39. I will not threaten to boom Russia for flirting with Canada.
- Or Prussia.
- Yes Bro, they were flirting in their own psychopathic ways.
- France back off, I have no reasons to NOT bomb you!

40. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and I should not have told Sealand that they are. (I promise, his hand's growing back already!)

41. I will not ask Israel how he feels about a German Pope.

42. I will not tell Polok joke in front of Lithuania.
- Even is Poland doesn't get it.

43. I will not attempt to beat Japan at any of his games.
- I will also not ask if he was high when he allowed Final Fantasy 14 to be released.

44. I will not tell Chuck Norris jokes.

45. I will not ask German about Italy's sleeping habits.

46. I will not ask Switzerland for yummy chocolate.

47. I will compliment Liechtenstein. I will NOT do so in front of her brother.

48. I will not ask England if he's ever met the Goblin King Jareth.

- Wait, what do you mean, he married the Williams girl?

49. I will stop begging Japan for tickets to a Gackt concert.
- Gackt is too awesome to sing it at a UN meeting!

50. I am not the Emperor of anything.

51. Crucifixes do not ward of Transylvania, and I should not test this.

52. Ireland is not after 'me frosted Lucky Charms.'

53. When it's my turn to speak, my speeches will not start with, 'I recently had an experience I just HAD to tell you about...'

54. I will apologize if my Leader does anything to piss off the world again.
- Once again England, I sorry about the whole Churchill thing.

55. I will not fight with England over who owns Hugh Laurie.

56. I will not look behind Germany and yell 'Hi General Patton!' just to see him squeal like a girl and duck underneath the table.

57. I will not watch Schindler's List around Germany or Prussia. (Even if Liam Neeson Rox!)

58. Despite how much it freaks Russia out, I will not make kissy faces at Belarus.
- Even if she thinks it's kinda funny.

59. Canada is not my hat and I should not try to make it so.

60. And in conclusion, if the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume I am not allowed to do it.