With regards to timeline, some notes. I'm going to basically blend some elements of the Anime and Manga together in a fused timeline. This is especially in regards to Crona, who along with Kid and Stein is my favorite character. I disliked what was done with him in the manga.

There's some changes to what was done immediately post Medusa's release of the Kisshin as well as some attempts given to explain Crona's gender and Kid's neurosis that are not part of the actual anime.

One of my opinions is that by paying better attention to Crona his betrayel and leaving of Shibusen, as well as his putting the snake in Marie could have been prevented, and that is what Kid and Death basically attempt to do, give him the attention and rehabilitation he needs. Since Crona's gender is unclear, he could go into either yaoi or yuri or both.

I'm very likely going to have Spartoi form earlier, and have Justin /already/ know Giriko, probably have Giriko be more like Motoko from GitS in skills with her puppet prosthetic bodies or something. It's a fanfic, I can do that.

Maka sighed, looking out the window of Kid's mansion as she wrote in her diary and watched the others. This is the story of how a team became a family… she began … since I was a child, I'd known there were many strange things in the world. How could I not? After all, my father is a servant of the grim reaper…

Okay, so its not really about me… Maka ducked as Kid threw a pillow at Blackstar, only for the assassin to dodge it. "Baby belly baby belly, Kiddo has a baby belly! Kid is fat!"

And kid just went crazy, screaming at Blackstar about how asymmetrical he was, only for Soul to open one eye from his nap and tell Blackstar to apologize. Crona blushed, cuddling closer to Kid and yelling, before pulling a cat form Blair closer to him and yawning. "Blackstar! That's not nice!"

Three pregnant men in the house. Maka thought. And the women are acting more mature. Well, Crona doesn't really count as a man, he's a man /and/ a woman. Maka corrected herself. Blackstar is the only man in our little group who isn't knocked up. And this whole experience only confirms my belief that men... have no control over their sexual appetites. I mean dad even /warned/ Kid that if he had more sex with Chrona while unprotected he'd get pregnant, and they kept doing it.

Crona was asleep on the nearby couch, Ragnarok curled up next to him and Blair in her cat form purring happily against his stomach. Soul, meanwhile, went back to sleep as well. That was all they really did most of the time, sleep, the Deathscythes were all out searching for Asura, there was nothing to do but wait. But Maka suspected that Kid was too afraid of his own moodswings to leave his mansion for anything other than baby shopping, the young shinigami's neurosis had been /aggravated/ by the hormone changes. Though it was a good idea for the quartet to get some rest while they could, Maka didn't think Crona would deal too well with a squalling infant.

"Right." Maka reminded herself and began to write. "Thats why we're here, to turn a team into a family. A large, crazy, while not directly related, still loving family."

~ about two months before~

Things were a mess, Maka, Soul, and Kid were all stuck in the infirmary after their battle with Medusa's forces. Kisshin had escaped and Stein had nearly gone insane. What's more, Crona was… well, the medics had sedated him and brought him to the dungeon.

Maka had prayed that Lord Death would spare Crona. The boy needed a doctor, and a friend, not a jail. And Crona's words stuck in her head.

"WHY?" Maka had screamed just before she and Soul went into the same madness as Crona. "Why do you follow that BITCH? Medusa doesn't care about you! You're just a pawn to her!"

"no, no no no, Medusa is my mother! SHe'd never use me!"

Maka had just enough time to be indignant before the madness had taken her over. She'd somehow managed to bring Crona out from within his circle in the sand, to bring water to the beaches of his peculiar little world.

Maka was angry, no mother should abandon her child like that.

"Excuse me." A black woman dressed in a nurse's uniform and covered in bandages except for her face and hair entered. "I'm sorry to interrupt, I'm Mira Nygus, I've been appointed Interim School Nurse by lord death." There was a pleasant tone to her voice and Maka thought she might be smiling underneath the bandages. "I'm Sid's weapon, its nice to meet you Maka, Soul. And Kid, its been awhile."

"Hello Nygus." Then to Maka. "Nygus and Sid took care of me when I was a child, since Father couldn't leave the castle."

"Oh, nice to meet you Nygus!" Maka had never met Sid's weapon, but since he was a Meister she'd known he must have one. And she didn't really know too much about Kid's past either. So finding out something new about her schoolmates was always pleasant.

"Now, lets go over your charts and send you home. You should rest when you get there though. No hard work." Nygus had just picked up Maka's chart when the mirror chimed. "Nygus, how nice to see you taking charge. I'm sending you one more, and when you've cleared him, he's to go home with Kid, Kid and Maka will be supervising him."

"Oh?"

"I'm also giving him a writing assignment to do while he's staying at Kid's, you can tutor him right?"

"Of course." Nygus said, and again Maka got the distinct impression that the woman was smiling.

Death had read over the psychiatrist's report of Crona, certain words jumped out from the page immediately, and he knew life had not been kind to the teen. PTSD, Depression, severe abuse, social anxiety, as well as other words jumped out from the page. And then there was a physical issue. "Sid was right, the boy has issues."

Next was Maka's report, written in the schoolgirl's tight, concise writing. Death was not a psychologist, but he understood symbols just fine. The strongest meisters always found that they had a "soul room" a room that they retreated to when they were under psychic attack. This dreamworld could be interpreted by the right person, or with the right training, used as a psychological baseline to bring a meister new insight into their minds or the mind of their weapon.

The fact that child Crona had drawn a circle in the sand, trying to keep people out, that his shadow had spoken within his world, a common occurance in these worlds that indicated the subconscious was trying to speak, that Crona had been unwilling to answer its questions and actually thought it to be some kind of demonic alter ego when in reality the shadow's appearance was an indication that Chrona was able to be saved. The boy was paralyzed by his own fear of the world, fear that Medusa had purposefully placed there. Psychologically the boy could go either way. Madness or…

There was Spirit and Stein's affadavits that Medusa had confirmed Crona was her son.

Then there was the medical reports Stein, working even while injured, had submitted. Maka and Soul had both used the madness technique during the battle. And there was some question as to whether or not they'd been contaminated because of Crona. Indeed, Soul had had small amounts of black blood coursing through his systems leftover from his first encounter with the demon swordsman. The contagion had begun to mutate his body slightly, in fact it had been doing it for months. Maka was another concern. She'd dove straight into Crona's mind.

So Death did what he always did in these matters. "Spirit, what do you think I should do?"

"About what?"

"Crona Spirit, what should be done with him?" Death asked.

"Sounds like a fit of conscience." Spirit chuckled. "Alright, I think Crona should be placed under supervision, and not in that room he was locked in in the dungeon either. That room, psychologically its still a prison. Have him stay with Kid or maka so that he has an older sibling, or siblings, to look after him. And give him the same sort of therepy you'd have given Kid if he had a psychotic break. Only… tailored… to Crona. Just because he isn't running around trying to make everything symmetrical, doesn't mean Crona's not dealing with some anxiety of his own."

"I suppose you're correct, very well, prepare some chamomile tea and bring him in." Death told Spirit. Chamomile was what Death used to give Kid when he was riled. Anxiety and depression manifested in many ways.

The tea was brought in, and a few minutes later Spirit lead Chrona in gently by the hand. "Its okay." Spirit said quietly. "Death has been waiting for you."

"Hello, you must be Chrona, do have a seat, have some tea and refreshments as well, I had them brought up for our meeting." Death used his kindest voice.

Chrona was confused, and afraid, he looked up wide eyed at Death's mask, before nodding slightly and sitting at the table. He peered curiously at the sheets of paper stacked up neatly. Death noticed his gaze. "They're reports on the battle, and on your medical checkup Chrona. Sid expressed concern about your mental health and I thought I should speak with you myself."

Chrona nodded. "I… I don't expect mercy." He said quietly, sipping at the chamomile tea and nibbling at one of the mollassas cookies that had been brought up. "I followed Lady Medusa, and she said that Death kills witches."

"Aaaah, but you are /not/ a witch Chrona, nor are you a Kisshin. You are a Meister. I believe that Maka may be able to help you, so I'm going to give you another chance."

Chrona looked up.

"But Chrona, know this, you were given a gift, do not squander it. If you see /any/ sign of Medusa, well, we believe her to be dead but with witches anything can and does happen, if you see any sign of Medusa or her accomplices, /regardless/ of if its day or night, you are to come to me immediately, do you understand? The only possible excuse is if your legs are broken, in which case you can use the mirror to call for help."

"Yes sir." Chrona started to eat faster. That was a good sign. Death knew many things about the human body, he is, after all, a shinigami, and knew full well that death could come from the human mind as well as the body. And Chrona's mind was of particular concern to Death at the moment. But if the boy was taking food, it meant he was becoming more relaxed.

Death's expression softened slightly. "You'll be staying with my son, Kid, and Maka will be keeping an eye on you as well when she's not in class. When Kid and Maka are in school for the next week, you'll be with me, or another woman named Nygus. I don't think that dungeon is the safest place for you to be. And it must be cold down there."

"Thank you sir." Chrona brightened. He'd get to see Maka again, that was well worth it.

"You're welcome, we'll give you special lessons for a couple of weeks, then enroll you in the school, at which point I will appoint you a mentor and a tutor to help you."

The plate of cookies was nearly gone, when Ragnarok popped out. "CHRONAAAAA! SAVE ME SOME!" Ragnarok started pulling on Chrona's hair and hitting him in the head.

Death loomed up over Ragnarok. "You will unhand your Meister. Weapons attached to their Meisters at the hip, such as you, are in /no/ position to strike their /partners/." Death said sternly. Ragnarok gulped, pulling back inside Chrona's body.

Chrona started to cry.

"Oh dear, Chrona what is it?"

Chrona threw his arms around Death and wailed. "You saved me from Ragnarok! I'm so happy I don't know how to deal with it! Ragnarok takes my food away all the time at meals! And he beats me if I fail Lady Medusa, and he always says the grossest things! And one time he even pulled up my skirts!"

Spirit sighed, looping a comforting arm around Chrona. "Hey, forget about Medusa. She's a bitch." Spirit told Chrona. "Listen, the people here, we'll be your new family. When you get to know him Lord Death's a nice guy. Forget about Medusa, no mother does that to her child." The deathscythe urged. "You start a new life today. Forget about the past."

Chrona nodded. "I'll try."

"That's all that we ask of you Chrona." Death replied. "Tell me, is there anything you want to do now that you don't answer to Medusa anymore?"

"Do?" Chrona blushed. "Um… I don't know really." Chrona replied. "Er…"

Death smiled. "Then over the next few days I have a writing assignment for you." Death almost seemed to be smiling beneath the mask. "I want you to think of ten things you want to do with your life now that Medusa is gone."

"Like what?"

"Anything." Death said amiably. "No matter how strange, how simple, or how impossible it may seem."

Chrona got this cute headtilting expresson on his face. "er…"

"Its an assignment I give students to help them find direction." Death explained. "And to help them gain insight into their own desires." Death added. "Nygus will also be giving you a medication to help bring your anxiety level down."

Chrona bobbed his head a little, finishing off the cookies and chamomile tea. Death was talking to someone in a Mirror. Chrona peered past him, trying to see who he was talking to.

It didn't take long to reach the infirmary, Spirit opened the door. "here you go. Maka you have a visitor." He moved the door aside to reveal Crona.

"CRONA! You're okay!"

"MAKA!" Crona cried, reaching out to hug Maka tightly. "you're okay too!"

"Of course I'm okay, now what did Death say to you?"

"I'm going to be staying with KId." Chrona said shyly. "Death was worried about what would happen to me if i stayed in that dungeon."

"Just be careful of his Neurosis." Maka giggled.

"His what?" Chrona was confused.

"Kid is obsessed with making everything symmetrical." Maka explained. "To the point where he can't fight an opponent that fits his definition of symmetry."

"oh." Chrona blushed.

"Are you done talking about me like I'm not there?" Kid asked. "Whatever, I'll call Liz and Patti and tell them to have your room made up." Kid told Chrona. "Welcome to the family. Am I cleared to go Nygus?"

"Yes, your father will have an assignment for you in two weeks, so be ready." Nygus sighed.

"Two weeks?" Kid blinked.

Nygus pointed out the window. Vehicles and helicopters were converging on Death City. "Death is going to be making some improvements to the Castle's defenses, as well as adding a few comforts to help maintain morale. He's going to reinforce the prisons so that we don't have any problems with prisoners escaping or break-ins, then reopen the school. You guys have a two week break to enjoy yourselves."

"Excellent. I'll spend that time studying and training." Kid stood. So did Maka. "C'mon Chrona."

"Wait a second." Nygus unlocked a cabinet in the dispensery. "Kid this is your refill, you were nearly out if I recall, and Chrona this is for you."

"What is it?" The tiny bottle of pills was placed in his hands.

"An antidepressant." Nygus replied. "It will help you feel better Chrona. Just remember that a pill is no substitute for human interaction. Medicine alone isn't enough, you must get up the courage to reach out to fully recover."

Chrona nodded, blushing slightly and pocketing the medication. "Thank you Miss Nygus."

Night fell, Kid went to bed at exactly 8pm, as always. And at about midnight, the screaming from the next room woke him up. Kid ran in, Liz and Patti behind him, and found Chrona thrashing in the bed covers, tangled up. Somehow he'd thrashed enough to wrap his entire body in the sheets and blankets.

He was in the grips of a nightmare, Kid realized. "Chrona! Wake up!" Kid pealed off the blankets, trying to untangle Chrona. Chrona screamed again, sat up straight, and his lips accidentally connected with Kid's. Kid blushed, and then he realized Chrona was naked under the blankets he'd just torn off.

Liz and Patti were suffering simultaneous nosebleeds. But so was Kid. As Chrona's face rapidly started turning red at his mistake, Kid realized that Chrona was… well he wasn't a girl, but he wasn't a guy either.

A small female chest and feminine curves lead down to what was clearly a penis, /and/ a vagina. Kid flung the blankets back up over Chrona's body and fainted, blood spurting from his nose.

Chrona squealed, "oh no, I don't know how to deal with this!" He hid under the covers of his bed.

Kid recovered enough wits to yell. "LIZ, PATTI, get out!"

"Oh my god."

"Chrona's a He/she?"

"Explains why he's got so many issues. C'mon Patti." Liz dragged her still curious sister out of the room.

Chrona blushed, "I… I'm sorry Chrona." Kid said quietly. "I heard you screaming and thought you were hurt." Chrona peeked cutely from under the covers. Kid sighed, sitting down on the bed, Chrona's expression was so cute, and he wasn't sure what to say really. He shivered, what he'd seen, it had sent a rapidly strengthening current of lust to his groin. "I…"

"I've always been strange." Chrona said quietly. "Even my body is different from other peoples's. Its all hodge podge and ugly."

"You know… I think having both genders in one body is a great form of symmetry." Kid said with a glimmer in his eye. Not to mention a huge turn on, but he was trying to make Chrona feel better about his body. All kinds of extremely lustful thoughts that were normally /alien/ to Kid's emotional repertoire were flooding through his mind. And if he wasn't careful he was going to get a /big/ hardon. "Even if your physical appearance isn't that way on the surface." Chrona blushed. "Sometimes beauty is hidden." Kid replied.

He hugged Chrona tightly, though at the moment Kid /seriously/ wanted to jump Chrona and have sex with him. He knew that doing so would be a mistake. They'd /just/ become allies, he couldn't have sex with him immediately it would be rude! "If you have problems with nightmares, come to me okay? Now get some sleep."

As Kid walked away from the bed, he didn't notice the blush on Chrona's face as he left.

No, Kid was more interested in the erection between his legs, tormenting him, an erection that tented his boxers.

Liz stared at him as he walked across the hall back towards his room. "I didn't know you swung that way Kid."

"I am NOT gay, in case you didn't notice, he has female parts too."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Have you noticed how Soul and Blackstar look at you?"

"They look at me /how/ exactly?"

"Like they both want to fuck you senseless." Liz said dryly. "Don't tell me you haven't seen it."

"er…" Kid groaned. Until Chrona had accidentally kissed him, until he'd seen his body, Kid had never thought much about sex aside from looking at women. And now… the thought that Blackstar and Soul might /both/ think of him in a sexual way he hadn't seen, well now Kid's hardon throbbed. "I need to get some sleep." Kid slammed his door shut, locked it, and curled up in bed. He blushed, and on second thought removed his pajamas and underwear as well.

Yeah, that was definitely an erection between his legs. Kid felt dirty doing it, but he decided to try an experiment. Instead of thinking of beautiful women, Kid thought of Chrona. He started stroking himself, and it felt a lot better than when he normally masturbated. Kid groaned, arching into his hand. Blushing, he paused, reaching to carefully bite the pillow to muffle his moans. Next, he tried thinking of Soul, the albino's milky skin, his wild hair and lazy posture.

~oh my god~ Kid thought. Thought made an incredible difference when he Masturbated. A mechanical function metamorphized into a far more powerful sensation.

Now to venture into far more dangerous (to Kid) territory. Blackstar. Kid tried picturing him naked, and wanted to rip the lines off his hair when he realized the idea of Blackstar /naked/ and /topping/ him turned him on.

The image came to mind unbid, of Blackstar topping him, of Soul's arms wrapped around his chest, of Kid /pounding/ into Chrona. And Kid felt his balls clench as he came, the pillow falling from his teeth long enough for his moan to ring out in the open air. "SHIT!" He slapped his hands over his mouth.

Kid wasn't the only one with sexual issues going on. As she passed his room to get a drink of water, Tsubaki heard Blackstar moaning. Concerned that her Meister might be sick, Tsubaki crept closer. She heard Blackstar's moan of "Soul… Kid…" his words were slurred. Was he delirious? Or had he finally gone against school rules, as he'd been threatening to do for over two years now, and snuck a drink while he was underage?

Tsubaki was not the kind to break down doors, instead she simply peered in the keyhole of Blackstar's room, and /instantly/ wished she hadn't.

Blackstar was flat on his back, legs in the air, masturbating. Tsubaki let out a shriek and ran to the safety of the kitchen. "oh. my. god." The expression on her face was hilarious. Massive nosebleed, huge blush from hair to collarbone. "Still, Blackstar never struck me as being gay. Oh well, he doesn't strike me as being sexual at all really. So him being interested in /anyone/ is a shock." She sighed, tending her nosebleed and going back to bed.

Maka had noticed a change in Soul for a awhile now, he'd been... quiet... somber sometimes and his normal self at others and that night she found him up late, watching "the Invention of Lying" and eating popcorn, and looking totally depressed. "Soul?"

"er… Maka… hi." Soul blushed.

"What's wrong Soul, has the little demon been giving you problems again?"

"er… no, just something different I'm thinking about. Its been on my mind lately."

"Oh…"

"Maka I… I'm not sure how to talk to you about it." Soul blushed, then growled. "damnit, totally uncool, now /I'm/ the shy one!"

"What is it?" Maka asked, yawning. "I've never seen you this flustered before. Its kinda weird."

Soul blushed. "Maka, please… don't think any less of me because I tell you this but…"

"Spit it out!"

"I think I'm gay." Soul's voice was almost a whisper.

Maka blinked, blushing hugely. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTT?"

"I knew you wouldn't understand, if you're freaked out I could move to a new…"

"no no no, its fine!" Maka blushed. "Its just a shock that's all. I… its okay Soul, I don't have a problem. Hell, you could even bring boys home with you if you liked."

Soul laughed. "that's good, I thought you were going to be jealous." He chuckled.

"Well I am kinda, but if you don't like girls, there isn't really anything I can do." Maka sighed. "However… er… do you mind if I talk to Spirit and Stein about this?"

"Why?"

"er well I… never really… thought about that sort of thing until you brought it up." Maka said quietly.

"You're kidding me!" Soul laughed. "You never thought of homosexuality until I said something? /or/ that your partner might swing that way?"

"Something like that yeah." Maka replied.

Soul's expression glimmered with mischief for a moment. "I don't mind, though I'll go along with you. I don't want them to get the wrong idea."

"So do you like anyone?"

"Hmm? I'm actually torn between going for Blackstar or Kid." Soul said with a sigh. "I mean, Kid seriously needs to get laid, hopefully it will help him to relax." Maka giggled a bit nervously.

"An /Onsen?/" blinked Maka, Soul, Kid, Liz, Patti, Blackstar, Tsubaki and Chrona.

"You mean in addition to beefing up the defenses of DWMA you're building an Onsen?" Clarified Maka.

They were standing outside the main castle, with about a hundred or so other students as Lord Death was explaining that they were going to have two weeks off from classes, but missions would still be running, so they expected the students to get at least one extra one done if they could. while some guy who kept going on about Coffee and Rumba stood next to him.

"The renovations are two fold, to beef up the defenses of the school, and to help improve the morale of its students. A sound soul dwells within a sound mind and a sound body. By improving the students morale, I am hoping that it will increase their chances of surviving a battle they would not were they fatigued. Dark days are ahead, and some of us may not make it back from our missions alive, some may crack under the pressure or be scarred for life. Having a sound mind, and a sound body, will even the odds a bit." Lord Death said, using both a fervent tone, and a bit of a... er... well as close to peppy as Shinigami-sama ever got.

"You'll also be taking a physical, all of you, sometime within the next few months as well as a psych eval to make sure that you're still healthy." Nygus added. "We will also be slightly changing the school menu to be higher in nutrients and lower in processed foods and planning a survival test as well so even though you have time off, keep studying and honing your skills."

"Physical education classes will be stepped up to make sure you're all in peak physical condition." Sid added. "I don't take any bullshit in my phys ed courses and I will work you to the bone. In addition, the deathscythes are returning to the castle and will be assisting both in missions and teaching classes." The crowd parted, and a procession of people began to walk up the steps.

"Right on cue! Welcome home my Deathscythes. Children, meet your new teachers." Death said proudly.

"I'm Marie Mjolnr! I'm going to be teaching history and co teaching first aid certification with Nygus."

"Justin Law, I'll be teaching English and hand to hand combat."

"Yumi Asuza, I'll be teaching survival skills, advanced mathematics, biological and natural sciences, and the top science grades in each year will be able to participate in Environmental Studies surveys with me later." Asuza added.

"YAHOO!" for once that wasn't blackstar who had that reaction. No, it was Ox, doing some kind of geeky victory dance with Havar.

Maka brightened as well, advanced classes? She could /totally/ make those!

"Right, so… while we do our work, you have two weeks off, keep training."

Joe spoke up. "The Onsen will be finished in another three days and will double as a thereputic facility for those recovering from battle. It will have public bathing rooms and private ones, as well as other amenities, please don't abuse it." He turned to leave.

"Right then children, away with you." Death said happily.

The crowd started to disburse, and Maka squealed, hopping over to Azusa. "hello, I'm Maka Albarn, I love science! How do I get into your class?"

"Yeah! how do we get in?" Ox and Havar chroused.

Stein laughed at Maka and then slipped away, with spirit tip toing after him. "So… what were you saying last night about wanting to give things another try?" Stein purred, looping his arms around Spirit's neck and pulling him into a possessive, dominating kiss.

"No dissections this time though."

"of course not, and were you serious?"

"About?"

"That you wanted to have another? I mean look at what happened to the first. It /hates/ you." Stein teased, gently pushing Spirit towards the lab and their bedroom.

About an hour later, Maka and soul finally got up the courage to talk to Stein and Spirit about homosexuality and…

"Stein? Stein?" Soul called, then looked around. "heh, I wonder where they are?"

Maka started opening doors, until she found the bedroom. She opened the door, then heard a moan and…

Maka had a nosebleed, torrential nosebleed, Spirit was on his back, legs spread lewdly wide while Stein was bent over him, licking at his…

Maka screamed, turned around, slammed the door and promptly passed out, blood squirting from her nose.

"Maka?"

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Spirit howled, "she saw us! OH HOW AM I GONNA EXPLAIN THIS TO MY MAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

Stein was… seriously turned off now, between being seen by Maka and then Spirit's wailing and bellyaching… yeah, "What was that about wantng to have another baby? So that it can wake you up in the middle of the night when we're having sex to clean its poop and so Maka can get jealous?"

"Shut up." Spirit dove for his clothes, and he and Stein quickly dressed. They each lit a cigarette, then opened the door. "Maka?"

Maka was curled up on the couch with Soul. "So what if your dad is gay, /I'm/ into guys and you accepted me."

"Yes but you're my weapon, he's my /father/ and not only that, he bent over for STEIN." Maka shivered.

"oh you make it sound so lewd." Stein grumbled, sauntering in, minus his shirt and smoking a cigarette. "Yeah, your father and I have been seeing each other for awhile, there's some stuff we didn't tell you and we're sorry. We didn't want to say anything until we thought you were old enough. And every time I asked spirit if he was ready to tell you about us he said 'nooooooo, my maka can't handle it, my poor maka!' Personally I think he was just embarassed and wanted to stay in the closet." Stein sighed.

"okay fine, so sue me for not wanting my sexual orientation to get out and my daughter to have a normal family life."

"Is that why you and momma…" Maka asked, blinking. "Spirit momma isn't a homophobe is she?"

The two looked at each other. "Maka, Kami is your godmother, you aren't genetically related." Stein replied.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Maka shrieked, fainting.

"MAKA!" Soul cried, catching her. "What the fuck do you mean?"

Maka's eyes were little curlicues. "You… you're… lying… everyone says I'm just like momma…"

"Legally she is your mother, she and Lord Death agreed to help us cover it up and doctor your birth certificate to reflect that. biologically you're Spirit and my Daughter." Thud. Maka fainted again.

"nice." Spirit sighed, getting up to start making tea. "Herbal tea always brings her around."

"Daddy you lie!" Maka yelled, this cute, bratty expression on her face that showed just how stressed she was. "Two men can't have kids." Soul was laughing. "Makaaaaa, CHOP!" And now he wasn't laughing, he was on the floor with a lump on his head.

"It's a very rare mutation among male weapons. Particularly the more powerful ones with more /protective/ instincts or feminine natures."

"Giggle, giggle, Justin, giggle." Spirit giggled.

"How rare are we talking?" Maka head tilted. Rare mutations in male weapons, something she could wrap her brain around.

"Typically, known and unknown, the amount of male weapons who have it can be counted on one hand." Replied Spirit. "It also doesn't descrimenate gay or straight, which means there could be straight weapons who have it that just haven't been found out yet. The people who /do/ have this mutation typically only find out when its too late and they've been knocked up."

"Justin? wait you mean that deathscythe guy who's gonna be teaching one of our classes?" Soul blinked.

"Yeah, now maka, listen to me, if you ever have kids, well, you carry the gene. Its recessive though, to actually have it, two recessive copies of the gene have to meet. As opposed to simply being a carrier." Stein watched Maka's expression carefully. If she was like he was at that age, then when she got confused she'd likely try to use science to help her put it in perspective.

Maka realized what he was doing. He was helping her to absorb it better by being scientific. "in other words keep an eye on my kids in case they grow up to be as pervy as papa." Maka giggled. "Actually, Soul and I wanted to talk to you… about homosexuality… er…" She sighs.

"I came out to her last night." Soul replied. "It unnerves her a bit but she's not… or wasn't… that upset about it. When she wanted to talk to her father and teacher about it, I told her I'd come with her to support her."

"Whaaaaa? Maka you can't seriously be questioning your sexuality already can you?" Spirit's turn to /almost/ faint.

"WHAT? No!" Maka cried. "er… I'm not sure…"

"Its genetic love." Stein purred. "Maka, don't decide overnight what your sexuality is and don't let yourself be limited by labels. This is something /you/ need to decide for yourself. I know its easier for you to understand things that scare you or confuse you if you use academia and science, but matters of the heart are often best decided on an individual basis." Stein said with a small smile. He sat down on the couch, and Spirit brought over a tray of beakers containing herbal tea. Maka took one, grimacing at the fact that she was drinking out of a beaker.

"Yeah… honestly, my brain stopped working when I saw you giving my /dad/ a blowjob." Maka's face twitched. "And when my brain stops working due to something shocking, I go into "Logic" mode, where I try to rationalize it with academia."

Stein laughed. "you take after me more than you think."

"Dissection is creepy!" Maka stuck her tongue out at Stein. "Don't expect me to call you daddy too, even thinking it is going to take some time." She sipped the tea. "And I'm /getting/ you some decent teacups. Since you're technically my father its not appropriate." She frowns. "now that I think about it… some of the traits I was told I inherited from Momma I could have inherited from Stein. And the fact that daddy gave birth to me instead, explains his overly maternal /bizarre/ behavior."

Stein laughed. "yeah, sometimes after having kids, male weapons can get… er… weird… with behavior concerning their offspring."

"Daddy?" Maka finished her tea. "I need some time to think, and I… er… I think I'm gonna talk to Tsubaki alone. See if she'll tolerate letting me kiss her to see if I like girls or not."

Spirit blinked, "now wait a minute…"

"WHAT?"

"You called me daddy, you never do that."

"You're right." Maka said dryly. "Though it would be strange to call you mommy."

"As for Tsubaki, I don't really think you should rush off to…"

"on the contrary, Tsubaki is likely the best person to ask, because of her tolerant and empathetic nature." Stein replied. "Let her be Spirit, she has to figure it out for herself and she's safe experimenting with Tsubaki and to a certain extent, if she felt adventurous she could with the Thompson Twins."

Maka blushed, getting up and hurriedly excusing herself.

"THAT'S AN IMAGE!" laughed Soul as soon as she couldn't hear him. "Maka with Liz and Patti? Watch out world! She'd be using Maka chop more on Patti than she does on me and Spirit combined!" He got up and walked away. "Thanks guys, I'm feeling a bit better about my sexuality now. And about Maka being able to deal with it. She may not like Spirit, but perhaps her own parents being two gay men will help her accept me, and herself, more."

"Heh, hopefully." Stein said with a chuckle, he pulled Spirit into his arms. "Spirit was whining last night about wanting to have another baby."

"Good god… just don't make me go out to buy things for his cravings? Or leave me in the room with his moodswings." Soul said with a small smile on his face as he walked out the door. "I hate to quote Chrona but, that's one thing I don't know how to deal with!" he laughed, and then Soul was gone, calling out. "MAKA! HEY MAKA WHERE ARE YOU?"