I hope this short one-shot makes up for my lack of updates...

This is my first time writing a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, so be gentle with critizism. Lol, jk, be as harsh as you can, I need good insight on how to improve my writing. :D Well, enjoy!

If writing looks like this, it is a flashback.

Oh, and there will be rape. :D

Disclamer: I don't own the characters.

May I tell you my story?

It happened not to long ago, that day. I was only 18 then, but now I'm now twenty four years old and I live alone. Back then, I had lived with my younger roomate, who recently turned eighteen. His parents had just died and since then he had never been the same. He was barely getting by in college, and this new predictiment only caused him more worry.

It had pained me to see him like that, but there was no missing it in our small apartment that we shared. I had ended up paying for everything we had needed since he had fallen into depression and was unable to continue to work, but it wasn't too diffucult since I was financially secure. I only worked just for the hell of it to gain more experience.

But I was worried about him, what we used to have to buy every week in food sense turned to only rarely since he had stopped eating. Roxas was very boyish and small, and his new diet wasn't helping either. His light blond hair and bluish eyes never failed to make me swoon.

Ever since he had moved in with me and I saw his face, I couldn't help but to be attracted to him. In fact, because I had been so infactuated, it was why I had done what I had done. I had just loved him so much that I didn't care what I did to him. Not a day goes by that I feel sickened at what I had done, and I thought I'd tell you that story.

One day after work, I was very tired from dealing with useless customers and decided to go out for a drink. All the time I kept thinking about Roxas, about his lithe body and his beautiful face. I kept imagining just how unbelievably great and satisfying it would be to dominate him, to turn his focus away from his problems and to me.

I never knew if he was into girls or boys, or both maybe. He never talked about girls, but he never talked guys neither. While other guys at the college were going out or on porn sites, he was struggling with his studies. His sexuality was an actual mystery to me.

Around twelve o'clock I decided I had enough and to go back home. On the drive back to the apartment, I saw couples making out and groping each others... It was unbearable. I couldn't take it anymore, I need Roxas in the worst way. If anything went wrong I would have to blame it on the alcohol to get his forgiveness.

I got home around twelve forty-five and found all the lights off. When I got into the living room I found him slumped over the sofa face down, wearing only a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. It seemed that this was where he prefered to sleep nowadays, even though he and I had our own room and beds to sleep on. I suppose it was just more easier for him.

Roxas was a heavy sleeper so I was pretty sure I could strip him without waking him, so I began. His t-shirt came off easily and he didn't even twitch in the slightest. I stopped a second to admire his skinny, almost childish, body and proceeded to his boxers. These too slipped without trouble and my little roomate was now stark naked on the couch still sleeping.

I went to the bathroom, where I stripped and took some lube from one of the drawers. When I went back to the living room, I was pleased to see he hadn't move even an inch. I caressed his firm backside and began to apply the lube. As I did, he shivered a little and I found myself taken over by a sexual urge I had never experienced before.

My cock immediately got hard and began dripping precum, so I laid on my roomate's warm body. The newly added weight made him move a little, trying to adjust himself, but he still didn't wake up. The urge was now way to much to resist. I slid my dick between his ass cheeks and began rubbing it a little before aligning it with his hole, then I gave the first push. He shifted uncomfortably under me, but I kept going and I kept applying pressure on his virgin asshole until it finally allowed the tip of my prick to squeeze itself inside him.

Driven wild by that little intrusion, I forgot all about trying not to wake him up and shifted my weight so I could slam my rod as deep as I could into him. That single hard thrust woke him, sending waves of pain through his body. Maybe if I had used more lube, or if I had been more gentle then I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place... I felt his body tense up and try to fight my intrusion in his rectum, for a second it made me wonder what was I doing, but then the animal urge to fuck him took over my mind again and I just pinned him in the couch with all my strength.

I outweighed him by a good thirty pounds, so there wasn't much he could do. As I was pumping in and out of his ass, he managed to look back at his rapist. When he saw my face he immediately began to yell at me. He was outraged and looked like he wanted to kill me right there, but all of his energy and will to fight just drove me crazier and I increased the rhythm of my thrusts.

When he spoke to me it was only to insult me and try to either threaten me or bargain with me so I would stop and leave him alone. A newfound sadism had awoken inside me and I couldn't help but to twist his left arm so he would shut up and cooperate. After about twenty minutes of the roughest fucking I ever gave anyone, Roxas had surrendered. He was as limp as a rag doll and was abundantly crying, his face buried in the couch and held there by my left hand.

When I finally came he held still, face down, even as I withdrew my hard member from his burning ass and emptied on his gaping asshole. My cum dribbled both in his sore rectum and down his balls and on the couch. I got up from him and went to my room and quickly fell asleep, spent by the intense fucking I just gave my little roomate.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt ashamed of myself and thought I had to try to fix things up if possible. When I went to his room I couldn't find him anywhere, so I went to the living room and found him still lying on the couch, covered with an old blanket from his bed. As I approached him, he spun his head around and gave me a murderous look.

He stood up and ran toward me in order to smash his clenched fist on my stomach. He was yelling at me and threatening me. Guilty of being his rapist I took it all without fighting back, although something was stirring again inside me. Roxas had clothed himself back in his boxers and t-shirt sometime in the night, and it was evident that he hadn't slept at all. As he continued trying to hurt me, I noticed there was a large dried up stain on the spot where his crotch was last night as I fucked him. I must have forced him to cum without realizing it.

That sight ignited back the sadist who violently raped my roomate a couple of hours ago. I grabbed his wrists roughly and pushed him down onto the floor on his back. Fear came into his eyes and he stopped fighting and began sobbing again. I yanked off his boxers and as I began spreading his legs, his face suddenly became empty, as if he just left his body, knowing my intentions. I harshly turned him over and lifted his ass so I could have bettter access.

I spat on it a couple of times before pressing the tip of my already hard dick on his little rosebud. When he felt the bare flesh of my cock, the life seemed to come back into him as he flailed wildly. I ignored his desprate struggle and kept pushing, and as my pumping got rougher and faster, he stilled and closed his eyes tightly, clenching his teeth.

Not long before ejaculating, I had a look at his face; it was twisted in a mixture of pain and his half lidded eyes reveal his emotions of hurt and betrayal. No words left his mouth, no noise of protest. With the side of his face pressed against the floor and his teeth still clenched, he wasn't even struggling anymore. The whole time I could hear the distinct sound of my balls smashing on each his.

Moments before allowing myself to cum I began stroking his dick and quickly we both came. I shot my load as deep as I could in his ass as he shot his in my hand.

After that, I had left to take a shower and when I got out, Roxas was gone. No note was left, but I figured he wouldn't after what had just happened. I haven't seen him since then, but maybe it was best left at that.

I had deeply hurt him, and the pang of regret has always been a part of my heart. If I had one request, it would be that I would have the opportunity to apoligize to him. I know there isn't any chance of forgiveness, but if I could just get that off my chest, I think it would leviate my pain a little.

But maybe I don't deserve to to be forgiven, I had done the worse thing anyone could do after all. Maybe I don't deserve to have this pain lessened, and this was exactly the way I should live my life.

Every night I close my eyes, I can see Roxas's blue orbs staring at me with that question 'why?' It didn't have any effect on me then, but now...Now everytime I see it, I feel the pain of loss and regret. The loss of losing someone I had loved, someone who I drove away because of selfish acts. Something I would regret forever.