Mitigate

Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara…or Shizuo. TT^TT
Comments: Long chapter for a long absence. Enjoy ~

Chapter 19:

Those next few moments were a blur. One second I was sitting next to Celty, eyes wide and my heart in my throat, brain trying and failing to process what was just said. And the next, I was throwing myself out the door of the apartment building, feet landing on the pavement with an audible smack, skidding haphazardly, and eyes frantically flitting from side to side, trying to determine where I was.

I gave up on that endeavour after just a few moments and sped down one way of the street. It had clicked in my head that the deeper voice I had heard as I woke up had been him. Which meant he was likely to still be nearby. Which meant I could see him. As I rounded the corner, I reared back as a distinctly male chest blocked my way, slipping and falling on my backside as I did. I glanced up, heart pounding and full of hope, only to find myself severely disappointed by the neatly combed head of brown hair. I scrambled to my feet, gasping out an apology as I twisted and stretched to look behind him, letting what was likely to be harsh words filter through one ear and out the other. A signal. I was looking for a signal, just the slightest hint, that he'd been there. A broken vending machine, shattered concrete or a beat-up street sign.

After a brief moment of staring down the street and finding no evidence of his presence, I turned on my heel, ignoring the man's irritated shouts after me, and sprinted back down the pavement, past the apartment building and onwards, yelping slightly as I stepped on a small rock that lay on my path.

I reached the end of the road, stretched up on my tip toes and peered around. Bar some small groups of early leavers, the streets I could see were relatively empty, of people and of cars. Those that did pass did so at a leisurely pace, casually making their way around town in their own time, at their own speed. Sunlight, bright in the midday heat, bore down on the streets, casting shimmering reflections across the almost completely glass walls of surrounding buildings. The rain had gotten rid of the humidity that had hung on the air for the last few days, leaving the air lighter and making it easier to breathe. A gentle breeze picked up a few strands of my hair, the wind just cool enough to refresh you in the burning heat. A perfect summer day. Had it been any other day, I would have been elsewhere. Relaxed and peaceful. Free of any of the tension I felt at that moment. Shaking my head to cast out such pessimistic thoughts, I cast my gaze around, trying to pinpoint any signs of that painstakingly familiar blond hair.

I saw none.

Ignoring the pitiful sinking feeling in my stomach, I continued down the road, slowing to a jog now. The hems of the pyjamas Celty had lent me were gradually becoming tinted a light beige from the dust I had kicked up and my feet were scratched and aching. The bottom of my right foot stung where I had stepped on the rock and the heat wore me down and I felt a dizziness come over me as my energy levels dropped. There seemed to be no trace of him. Not even a slight discomfort in the atmosphere. Everything was calm, and it was painfully so. As I reached the next juncture, I slowed to a stop and my shoulders sagged, my eyes dropped to the concrete pavement and a deep sigh worked its way out of my system. I bent over, hands on knees as I attempted to catch my breath, peering at the cracks and curves of the ground beneath my feet.

I was tired.

And then, a small miracle. Lady Luck smiled on me, just once more.

It was a shout. A small cry of fear that my ears, under any normal circumstances, would never have picked up. A yelp that had me looking up so fast that my head almost snapped off my body.

And then I was running again. Running faster than before, pumping my lungs to their limits, and heart hammering violently against my ribs. It was him, I thought. It's him, it's him, it's him. That was the only thing I could think. The two words ricocheted in the confines of my head. His named echoed in my mind, over and over and over. I pushed my body to move faster, desperate to see him, to hear his voice, to hold him. It was my only wish and my only concern as I raced down that street.

I swear I have never been able to move as fast as I did in that moment. That instinct - the one that had made me stay and watch him when I first saw him; the one that had made me reach out to him after I fell in the fountain; the one that made me hold him when he narrowly avoided punching me - that pure instinct. It was that which allowed me to do it.

That very same feeling hit me like a car in that next moment. A punch to the stomach that sent my diaphragm spasming and my lungs contracting, leaving me practically wheezing and gasping for breath, more so than I already had been.

As I reached the source of the noise, I saw there was a crowd gathered. In size, it was similar to that of the first Shizuo-induced one I saw how ever many weeks ago, during the time I had first arrived in Ikebukuro. After taking a few minot seconds to catch my breath, I moved towards them, almost subconsciously, nudging and squeezing my way through the shifting wall of flesh. Someone's elbow dug into my ribs, a heeled shoe came down on my foot and a phone swung and hit the side of my face, rising above people's heads with the camera on record. I ignored the pain, eyes focussed intently in front of me.

And then I saw them. Those blond flicks of hair that stood up on the top of his head.

In that second, just briefly, it felt as if I was outside of myself, staring down like an omniscient narrator at the scene. An ordinary girl, nugatory and inconsequential, crushed in the overwhelming mêlée of flailing limbs and unmoving torsos. She was a relatively normal height for someone her age and of her ethnicity, with a dainty figure and small petite shoulders. Slightly tanned skin was covered with a loose pale blue material that hung off her body in some areas and clung to her in others. Dishevelled tawny hair, that verged on brown and appeared almost blonde in the sunlight, spilled down to her waist, long fingers with neat, curved nails that pushed against an impeding shoulder and her eyes, bright and hazel, looking up at me expectantly. As I nodded, her lips stretched into a smile that almost cracked her face in two. She opened her mouth and her lips moved, though I didn't hear any sound come out.

And then I was myself again, and the people in front had turned to look at me, some fearfully and others incredulously. I didn't care.

I could see him. He was right there in front of me, his eyes, dark and angry, scanning the crowd before locking on me. Within a split second, his expression relaxed, his eyebrows rose and his mouth opened. Suddenly, I was moving, slipping between people and gaining speed as I went. And then I was out. And I was throwing myself forward, all bare feet, messy hair and oversized pyjamas.

In that moment, I swear I felt whole. It's an old cliché, one I had never really understood, I'll admit, but it really is true. The instant I wrapped my arms around him, I was complete. That warmth, the security, the smell of nicotine and something akin to pinecones. He flooded my senses, and I pressed myself closer, laughing and crying and apologising all at once.

If the crowd was uncomfortable witnessing such a scene, then it was downright distressing for Shizuo to be a part of it. He pat my back, told me repeatedly to calm down, and that he was glad I was awake but I shouldn't be out 'like this'. When I still didn't let go, he sighed and placed his hand on my head. After a brief moment, the crowd suddenly began to disperse, and I knew instinctively that he had given them some sort of look. It had me laughing again, and I rubbed my face against what was visible of his white shirt.

As I did, I felt the fabric shift and his arms move slowly around my shoulders. His chin rested on my head and I gripped his black vest tighter, quiet now but still smiling, and still crying. As I clung to him, I felt something swell in my chest; a very commonplace warmth that made my heart ache. It was empowering, but also somewhat overbearing. It was a fire, a glow that spread throughout my torso, reaching right down to my fingertips. It made the blood rush to my cheeks and relaxed the muscles in my face. It was a pull, like magnetism, that urged me to hold onto him, to stay with him. To memorise his face and his voice and his scent. To store them away somewhere I could never forget them.

I pulled back slightly, just far enough to be able to stare lovingly at warm brown eyes. This was my love for him. I had never noticed before, but there were small flecks in his eyes. In the midst of the chocolate brown, small flicks of deep brown and a colour verging on beige dotted his irises. They flickered, going from one side of my face to the other. I understood what he felt in that moment. Hyper awareness.

We met then, lightly and briefly. Time slowed down and I drank in the moment, soaking up the details like a sponge. The brush of his lips, soft and sweet and saccharine. The slightly chapped texture of my own. He was tender, gentle. I let my eyes slide shut, focussing solely on the feeling. The smell of nicotine on his breath as it fanned across my face. My head span, my spine tingled and the places where he held me grew warmer by the second.

As we pulled apart, I realised where most of the heat had gone though. Even without seeing it myself, as soon as my eyes opened, I knew I was red. Redder than a beetroot. Redder than a tomato even. I could feel the heat radiating off my own face - that's how bad it was! I was pretty sure all the blood in my system had rushed to my face. Every last drop of it.

And he had seen it. Which made me redder. Which made it worse. A lot worse. I could barely bring myself to lift my head to look at him. But I did.

And I will forever remain thankful that I did.

Because what I saw was an equally red, equally embarrassed Shizuo staring back at me. Forgetting my own agitation momentarily, I traced the image of his face, from the beat red cheeks to the hesitant line of his lips. But mostly, I stared at his eyes, those chocolate pools that stared at me, full of energy but calm and, above all, warm. Unwavering and firm, I put all my trust in him in that moment.

And as another smile stretched my lips, I leaned up and rested my forehead against his. This feeling, I knew, would never be able to dissipate.

This was my love for him, pure and everlasting.

It would only ever grow.

~ Chapter Word Count: 2001

End Comments: Whoops, that last chapter was just a smidgen shorter than I thought. I'm sorry. I felt quite bad about that, but now we've reached the actual conclusion of the story.

This chapter….was meant to come out around a week after that last one. But oh dear lord I've never felt so pressured to do so many things at once. Even as I write this, I'm putting off other work that needs to be done. OTL Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed and the like. I'm very glad to have been able to entertain you all over the course of these 2 years.

….2 years to write one story. Guess we all know why I'm not going to become an author. Pffft. No, but seriously. That is well and truly pathetic. I promise that the next story I write won't take so long. Though when said story is posted is a completely separate matter.

I am honestly so sorry for how long you guys had to wait for updates. That's just—argh, let's not even go there. It is sad and pitiful and unacceptable and I promise to try and fix this by the next time (I've recently discovered something called "time-management skills" – I've yet to find where mine have hidden…)

On that note, here's what I'm planning on doing from now. For the Mitigate verse, there is going to be a continuation. My aim will be to write a set of drabbles and one shots based on themes either suggested by you guys or to complete a one-hundred theme challenge. Maybe both? Some of you suggested a sequel, but I don't think I can really carry on this particular story without messing it up. And besides, I have a better idea. How 'bout a completely new story?

Also, for those of you who are interested, I'm planning to re-draft this story and post it on my tumblr account as a PDF file. There may or may not be pictures for certain scenes of the story inserted as well (though that means it'll take considerably longer). So, if any of you are interested, let me know and I'll PM you the link when it's up.

Until next time! ~