I sit here, waiting for Adam to come over, drying my tears, and sweeping up the glass. Go figure I distinctly remember buying this frame so I could keep this memory forever. I do not want to remember Eli at all. I don't want to remember his touch and I don't want to remember his smile. I don't want to remember anything about him because he'll always be the boy who took my breath away. I don't want to remember how he never actually cared that he held my heart, and let it break in one simple gesture.

What I knew was that no matter what, no matter how much I tried, I could never forget him. I could never forget the way he acted so kind, the way he seemed to care about all my feelings. I will never forget the day that he met Julia, I would never forget their first fight, or the day he told me they had sex for the first time. I would never forget that night I spent the whole night crying because of how much I loved him, and how she got to be with him. I would never forget how they went to freshman prom together, while me and Adam went as friends, and I will never forget watching them dance so elegantly, and the way he looked her in the eyes. The way he'd never look me in the eyes.

I could never forget the way he asked her to go with his family with him and Adam instead of me. I would never forget how much I wanted to die knowing he cared more for her than for me. I could never forget that when KC asked me to be his girlfriend Eli only said he didn't want me to because he didn't trust KC, but when I did date him, he never cared.

I could never forget the day KC broke up with me, it was the day I was starting to maybe love him, and I could never forget how I had to now see two boys who I loved madly in love with two other girls who were both not me. I could never forget the day I found out Julia and Eli finally admitted there love for each other. I could never forget the countless times I held him while he cried because Julia never trusted him. I could never forget the most previous time, I could never forget the day he took my virginity and I could never forget the way he looked at me the day I was going to tell him I loved him.

That stern look, that hard menacing glare, the warning look. It was the last look he gave me before kissing Julia, the last look he'll ever give me.

This thought caused another round of tears. My vision was so blurred that I cut myself on the glass. It felt so painful, but at the same time I felt so relieved. Like all the pain inside finally came out. All the hurt is being released. I quickly ran to the bathroom and washed off my arm, before examining the wound. It wasn't deep, it was just red and puffy. It looked worse than it was. I took a band-aid and covered it up.

I ran down stairs at the sound of the door step, and opened it up to see Adam. I smiled a small smile of appreciation and welcomed him in. He started up the stairs, but I had to bring him back down so he didn't see the glass and blood. He'd jump to conclusions. I lead him to the couch and sat there. It was silent for a while, until I just looked at him, he burst.

"I cannot believe you let him do this Clare, you shouldn't of, oh my gosh. He is such an idiot I am so sorry, if I would've known I would have done something, oh my I just, why Clare? What happened? What. I just. I cant." I stopped him from talking so that I could explain.

"I just, I love him." I said between my tears, I started to laugh.

"I'm so pathetic, I actually thought he could ever care about me the way I do him." I wiped my tears, away and cleared my throat.

"Clare, you cannot let yourself believe that. It's natural to love someone and they not exactly return the feelings. Eli is screwed up in the head, so no one can really ever be sure what he's thinking when he makes decisions. No one would ever know and no one can attempt to know." I nodded so that he would stop trying to tell me how wrong he was when I was just as much to blame as him.

I was just as much wrong for deciding to let him do this. But I did and I shouldn't have.

We were finally getting to our good bye's when my doorbell rung. I had no clue who it was, but once I got to my door, I recognized that boy anywhere.

"Eli, what in the world are you doing here?"