So today was the first time I had done anything with my profile on here and I guess that is the first step I must take in order to make myself feel better about moving forward with this.

I know that I said in the last two chapters that I was going to finish this within the year or so, and I broke that promise… I broke it because I got a life outside of this world that I was so despite to hold onto, and because of that I destroyed myself. Three years later I am starting to find myself again, and I know that it will not be easy to do this but I am going to try and get back into this but I have a hard time thinking that I will be able to stick with it since I get so bored with things.
Right now I have like 10 plus projects started in the writing world, plus I have projects started in other forms that I have been working on and off for months/years.
Writing for me has turned into something that I really enjoy and I want to keep going with it, but there is that little thing called I get bored and I also get writers block which is another reason this has been on hold like it has been. Oh and I might have moved a couple of times in the last three years so a lot of my stuff in in storage and I still need to go through things in order to work on these.

I know all I am doing in making excuses and you are right about that, but I want to tell you that I am a human being with feelings, and emotions and everything. You don't know the real me because I don't let anyone see it and I want to keep it that way. But for this one time I am going to do something that I normally don't do and tell you about the real me.

I am a 24 year old woman that works a part time job at a company that I will refer to as Smelt (I made the name up to cover up where I really work) I still live with my parents at this age. I also pay rent to them after moving home after my two year relationship fell apart. Even though I say I live home, I am never there. I am always with my new boyfriend that I met through one of my friends. My boyfriend is 6 years older than me, and at the start of the year his former relationship died. So it's been a real rough year for the both of us. On top of all the drama with my ex that I have had to put up with since February till almost September, and I mean a lot of drama all because his new girlfriend thinks I still love him and want him back.. When in fact I don't and never want to see his face again in reality. I have to deal with the drama shit between my sister and my parents and also my brother and my parents too. My sister is also 6 years older than me. Has been married 3 times, and has 4 kids between her 3 husbands. With my sister it's all about the drama and I hate that. My brother is 10 years older than me and when I was 7 he left home and joined the military. My brother seems to think even though he wasn't there for all of childhood, teen years, or in fact in my life since I was 7 that he can say and try to do what is best for me. To me that doesn't fly since he wasn't there and doesn't know me at all. I don't do the whole I am going to try to control you even though I don't know what's best for you. I don't go around telling him not to marry 3 times, have 2 kids, and then end up with a woman that is almost as old as your own mother. Nope I let him do what he wants and to me that is getting drunk and trying to control everything and also making people feel bad. I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't get along with either one of them, but at least I can get along with my sister and her kids.

My parents and I don't always get along and a lot of it has to do with the fact my mother is an alcoholic and my father is a raging asshole who has cancer. Yeah I know that you are more than likely thinking can't he just be cured with treatments? No he can't since there is no cure for this cancer, only time is left. Don't get me wrong I love my parents but I can't stand how they are acting which is why I try not to be home. The only reason I do go home every once in a while are my three cats that I have taking in for different reasons. Crash was only about 3 weeks old when I got him and I nursed him back to health. Fred and George I found on the side of the road in the middle of the winter after someone threw them away. I love my cats and if where my boyfriend lived was big enough I would have them with me. Hmm where was i? Oh right I am kind of still living at home, have a really bad home life, and work a crap job… What else is there to tell? Well how about I have no friends in real life and the ones I do have online I have known for years but never really met them in person. Well there are the few friends I have in person that I met through a friend I met at work. The people I met are a lot different than that I ever thought I would be friends with, but hell I will take it. I started getting into something called Society for Creative Anachronism or SCA for short. You should all look it up if you don't know what it is. I haven't found anything I really like doing yet but I am sure I will I hope anyways. If I don't I don't and that is ok since it's only a hobby for me and not a life thing like it is to a lot of people.

When I am not dealing with family drama or work drama, or dealing with the SCA. I am trying to work on a blog that I started 5 years ago and have been struggling with it since for most of the first three years and then part of this year I didn't have a computer to work on it with. Yeah yeah I know excuses, but I am only human after all. And when I am not working on that blog I am working on the other one that I started about a year ago about Smelt, but not really. If you want to read it I will leave a link to it so you can check it out.

I am not really sure what else to say about myself so I am going to end that there. I am going to leave a link to my blogs here so anyone can check them out, and if they want to leave me a message they can.

this is the link to my blog that is about me and what I do in my real life. I started this one 5 years ago.

This is the link to the other blog that I started about a year ago and it's about Smelt. (Oh one thing about Smelt I own it and don't give anyone permission to steal Smelt from me.)

Now that I have all of that said and done I want to kind of repeat what I said when I changed my about me. I am not going to say that I am going to work on this story all the time to make sure it gets finished since I don't know if I can promise that. I am a human after all and my life outside of this site comes first and if that means I can't post all the time or if it months before I post anything I hope you can all understand that. If not then oh well. I will try to post something soon if I have the time. I am sorry that I lied before and said that I would have this story finished within the year or so but life had other plans for me and for me life comes first. But with that said I am out of here and will be back soon I hope.

Till Later

Mea Ann Potter.