I do not own Glee or Omegle. While this isn't exactly literature, it is amazing.
All I am is a crazy girl who goes on Omegle.

Please enjoy the Kurt/Rachel friendship, Faberry filled, and Klaine sprinkled piece of epic.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

You: Kurt?

Stranger: Rachel?

You: Yes. It is Rachel Berry.

You: Gold star for you, Kurt!

Stranger: What are you doing up so late, Rachel? It is terrible for your skin!

You: It has come to my attention, after snooping in your locker

You: That you have a picture of a boy from Dalton academy in there.

Stranger: Don't you dare send Blaine to a crackhouse!

You: Please, elaborate on this. All we asked you to do was spy.

Stranger: active or otherwise

You: You are dating him! I am the daughter of 2 gay dads.

You: My gay senses are tingling!

Stranger: You dated that fashionably challenged St. James! This is no different!

You: Jesse was LA chic!

You: And look what he did to me in the end!

Stranger: More like dumpster chic

Stranger: Blaine would never!

You: He broke my heart.

Stranger: You deserved it after that Run Joey Run debacle

You: Kurt, I am your friend now. I don't want to see you heart

You: broken

You: DID NOT!

Stranger: If you don't want to see me heart broken you will keep this to yourself.

You: All of the great starts need a tarnished image.

Stranger: God, the last time you knew a secret Quinn ended up homeless!

You: I'm Rachel Berry. When do I ever keep anything to myself?

You: That was all your doing!

You: You made Finn sing that song! You were in love with him!

Stranger: Rachel, can I ask you something?

Stranger: It's personal.

You: Go ahead, Kurt. I'm always, almost honest.

Stranger: Are you in love with Quinn?

Stranger: I've been hearing things...

You: I AM NOT A LESBIAN! I AM IN LOVE WITH FINN! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE QUINN'S NAME IN HEARTS ON MY BINDER. IT MEANS NOTHING!

You: And if someone caught us in the restroom...

You: She wanted to know if her lipgloss tasted good

You: And it did.

Stranger: Rachel! You and Quinn have been doing the nasty in the school bathrooms?

You: I don't want my dads to know! My god! A whole family of gays? Can you imagine?

You: I won't end up on Broadway like that, Kurt! I'll end up on Oprah!

Stranger: Isn't this convenient. We each know a secret about each other

You: You won't tell... Will you?

Stranger: As nice as it would be to have another openly homosexual in Lima, I would never do that to you, Rachel.

Stranger: Not after you showed me that I really wasn't alone.

You: I promise I won't tell anyone about Blaine, either.

You: I guess the gay-lesball really is in effect now.

Stranger: I should have known something was up when you suggested that

You: I have never been the subtle type, huh?

Stranger: Quinn isn't either. Do you know how many times in the last week I have caught her looking at your barely there breasts?

Stranger: 17

Stranger: 17, Rachel!

Stranger: Get her under control.

You: And do you know how often I catch you smiling at texts on your phone or looking at Dalton boy's picture?

You: Too many to count!

Stranger: I really like him

Stranger: It's different than it was with Finn

Stranger: This isn't just a crush

You: I love Quinn, too.

Stranger: Plus have you seen him? The boy is gorgeous

Stranger: How long have you been with Quinn?

You: I am bisexual, partial to girls, remember?

You: Ever since this summer.

You: Once she had her baby she and I started hanging out, and one thing led to another...

Stranger: Wait

Stranger: She is the mother of your sister

Stranger: Doesn't that make you related somehow?

Stranger: Isn't your relationship slightly incestuous?

You: Adopted! Shelby adopted Beth!

You: We share no blood! Don't make this gross for me, Kurt.

Stranger: It's just weird!

Stranger: Not many people can say they are sleeping with their sister's mommy

Stranger: It will be a good chapter for your memoir

You: Eh, it's Lima. I'm mostly lesbian.

You: And you know, Kurt. You are right.

You: This will sell

Stranger: I can see the headlines now. Broadway Great Rachel Berry Married to Baby Sister's Mother

Stranger: Assuming Quinn doesn't do to you what she did to Finn

You: I could write a whole book: Gold stars: Rachel Berry's Romantic and lesbian relationship with Quinn Fabrey

You: She would never!

Stranger: I'm sure Finn said the same thing...

You: Well, I'm sure Blaine hasn't broken any gay little hearts at Dalton. He won't break yours.

Stranger: Rachel, don't be snarky.

Stranger: I am only concerned about you

You: And I about you. That's why I looked in your locker!

Stranger: I like Quinn, she's a good friend, but I don't want her breaking your heart.

Stranger: I can see you having some sort of mental breakdown

Stranger: You won't be able to reach the broadway stage from a padded room, Rachel!

You: I have a shrink in my guest room

You: If I ever have a mental break down it will be in the comfort of my own home.

Stranger: Wait a second

Stranger: Rachel!

Stranger: My Barbra magnet has been missing...

Stranger: Did you steal it when you were in my locker?

You: I might have...

You: IT'S A COLLECTORS ITEM!

Stranger: I KNOW THAT's WHY I BOUGHT IT

Stranger: I sat up all night bidding on ebay for that

You: I have been looking forever on eBay for one! I was in a bidding war once over it...

You: WAIT A MINUTE... You don't think?

Stranger: I should've known. your name on there wouldn't happen to be gldstrbarbra, would it?

You: Yes... Yes, it was. And you were up against gagabeyocek?

Stranger: Yes, you are correct.

You: Wow. We really are a like.

Stranger: Why weren't we friends before?

Stranger: Probably had something to do with your pantsuits.

You: And your crush on Finn.

Stranger: Please don't remind me of those horrid days.

You: Also the silly little diva off indecent.

Stranger: Speaking of, I saw you girls practicing your mash up

Stranger: We are totally going to beat you

You: Please! We are going full out rock and roll. In leather.

You: Mr. Schue in his borderline pedophile way will love it.

Stranger: Mr. Schuester may be distracted by you girls clad in leather. But, my group has winning at our first priority

You: Oh, really? What are you boys performing?

Stranger: Us boys clad in adorable blazers and bow ties will certainly garner his attention as well. I made sure our pants hug our bottoms just so

You: You would know about how to dress teenage boys to attract men.

Stranger: We will be doing a lovely rendition of Stop In the Name of Love and Free your Mind. Far better song choices

You: Since you SPIED on us, you know we are going full out rock with a feminine edge with Livin' On a Prayer and Start Me Up.

You: It is very theatrical.

Stranger: We don't feel the need to hide behind theatrics

Stranger: Your girlfriend looks like a pirate.

Stranger: Santana looks like some sort of biker chick gone wrong

You: A sexy pirate!

You: And Santana chose her own outfit. I think it suits her quite well.

Stranger: You only say that because you don't want her to slushie you

Stranger: What is going on with her and Brittany?

You: Hmph.

You: Ohhh, Quinn gave me all the details on that one.

Stranger: Do share

You: It turns out Britt and Santana are best friends with 'benefits', well, Brittany wants to be more than that

Stranger: Poor Brit.

Stranger: I made out with her once

You: Quinn says that Britt has called out to Santana in the Cheerios showers saying "I want to make lady babies with you!"

You: Was it the week you dressed like a lumberjack?

Stranger: Yes.

Stranger: Are you aware of Santana and Finn's...history?

You: ...History? I know Finn went on a date with both Santana and Brittany once.

Stranger: Santana took his v-card in that dingy hotel across from the 7-11

You: Oh My Gosh... Well, good thing that I am truly in love with Quinn, and not that moronic Finn.

Stranger: Finn is a moron. He never stood up for you. When the other Glee members antagonized you

Stranger: You seem to be the only member of Glee who is bullied by members within our group

You: He really is. What did we ever see in him?

You: They are just jealous of my talent and star qualities.

Stranger: He was the first boy to show us any kind of attention.

Stranger: As your friend, I should have said something when Mercedes told you she wanted to put you in a jar.

You: He was the hot male lead...

You: You should have. Your friend particularly seems to hate me. Why does Mercedes hate me, Kurt?

Stranger: I think you're right about the jealousy thing.

Stranger: Mercedes singing abilities, while good, are very limited. She lacks your vocal range.

You: She needs to stick with the R&B and soul stuff. That is her mode.

You: Just like Finn and soft rock.

You: You and I, however, we are the most talented in the club. I do believe if we worked hard enough we could sing anything we want.

You: And treasure what I just said. Rachel Berry does not give out complements like that everyday.

Stranger: Yes, we could. Not everyone can have our talent. It would be unfair for us to expect the rest of the Glee Club to do the same

Stranger: I will put it in my memoir.

Stranger: Rachel I just realized something

You: What?

Stranger: If you are in love with Quinn, why are you letting Finn caress your boobs?

Stranger: At least Quinn had the decency to turn Sam down for a kiss. But you!

Stranger: I should have been worried about you cheating, not Quinn!

You: If there was such a thing as a gay beard for a lesbian, Finn is mine.

You: It's all for the image, and to keep him in the relationship.

You: He is such a horny teenage boy.

Stranger: There is no reason for your gay beard to touch your boobs during hot and heavy make out sessions

You: Think of it this way, what did you do to keep Brittany that you were straight? You did things to make her happy, right?

You: It's like that with Finn.

Stranger: I suppose that makes sense

Stranger: I can't imagine Quinn being too fond of that though

You: She understands. She wants me to end it with Finn, though.

You: And now that I know of the whole Santana thing, I think I may have fuel to do so.

Stranger: Just don't cause a big scene about it, I swear if Sectionals gets messed up because of it, I will not be happy.

You: I promise. This year I will try and keep Sectionals as drama free as I can. Even if I love drama.

Stranger: Good. I know you like to use every situation as an acting exercise.

You: Well, Kurt. The diva needs her sleep.

Stranger: Goodnight, Rachel. See you at school tomorrow

You: This was a very productive convorsation.