Bombalurina turned redder than her usual scarlet color as she watched Tugger, who was her mate, chat with that slinky Cassandra, who was taking no pains to hide her slender curves.

Bast! she thought. Those bagpipes were much more trouble than they were worth. Since Tugger had discovered their loss, no one had had any rest. He had harassed, harangued, and interviewed everybody in the Jellicle junkyard in an effort to locate them. Of course, she thought, smugly, this was all to no avail. Munk was a cool customer and Demeter wouldn't fall prey to his charms. And of course, Tugger had never even thought of asking her, Bombalurina, about them. Bomba sighed. She didn't know whether to be flattered or insulted.

One thing was for sure. Everyone was thoroughly annoyed. His charm was even wearing off the almost-queen kittens.

Although, Bombalurina mused angrily, it was still working on Cassandra.

As if he felt her heated gaze, Tugger looked up and met her eyes. He smiled a crooked smile and said something to Cassandra, then leapt over the oven and other various objects up to where Bomba sat.

He swung down beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Bomba was tense—his flirting had been so hardcore lately that she had a mind to be very cross.

"How's my Red Queen?"

She shrugged his arm off.

Tugger raised an eyebrow, but let it go. He leaned back on his elbow and grumbled, "I'm never going to get my damn bagpipes back, am I?"

Bomba shrugged again.

"Bast." He closed his eyes. "I think they're all in on it. Is my playing really that horrible?"

"No," she said immediately.

The corners of his lips curled up in a smile. "Honestly, you're the only one on my side. No one else even pretends to care."

The phrase "pretends to care" hit Bombalurina hard. "Tugs, why do you care so much? They're just bagpipes."

"Sentimental value, actually." Tugger sounded mildly surprised that she didn't already know that.

"Really?" Her ears pricked up.

He sighed. Opening his green eyes, he turned his face to the side to look at her directly. She bit her tongue. His eyes were so light, so intense. They seemed to pierce right through her, right into her heart. A flush of pleasure rolled over her, and after it, a wave of panic. She squirmed. He couldn't suspect her. He wouldn't...

He didn't. "Don't go," he said, mistaking her movement. He looked up at the afternoon sky.

She stayed put.

"I wish I had them back so I could play for you. You know," he dropped his voice to an enticing whisper, "you love my playing."

Sweet Everlasting Cat, why did he have to be so stupid when he was being so sweet? Why? Was it worth the pain and aggravation? Was it worth the noise?

Bomba made a decision.

"Tugs? I have an idea."

He rolled over. "I'm all ears. And mane. And tail." His tail slid around her leg.

"Stop that," she scolded, blushing with pleasure. "Here's the idea…"

A few hours later, Tugger addressed all the Jellicle tribe.

"Toms, Queens, and kittens," he glanced at each group as he spoke, "as you are doubtless aware, my bloody bagpipes are missing. I want them back. One of you here—" his eyes jumped from Mistoffelees to Munkustrap—"has them."

"I still say it was Mac," Munk muttered, loudly enough that everyone could hear him.

"I am willing," Tugger continued, effortlessly raising his voice to drown out the whispers, "to make some sort of deal. Pay a ransom, if you will. So consider that."

Excitement filled the junkyard. The Rum Tum Tugger, making a deal? This would be a first. Chatter filled the air.

Plato grabbed Mistoffelees. "We are going to get him to stop—the—all that—sexiness! Seduction, swaggering, all done. Yes?" He said "yes" in such an aggressive tone that no one wanted to disagree with him, never mind the fact that it was, to the young toms, a fine idea.

Misto squirmed away. "Only one problem. We can't actually make said offer. We don't have the bagpipes."

Munk, listening in on the young toms, felt Demeter's hand on his shoulder.

He looked into her soft green eyes. "A good trade," she said softly.

Munk nodded. He glanced at Bombalurina, who was sitting prettily behind Tugger. She didn't seem to care.

"Fine, Tugger," he said loudly. Everyone shut up. Tugger glared at him.

"Macavity my ass."

Munk said coolly, "If the Rum Tum Tugger will give up flirting, and seducing, and things of that particular nature, he can have those awful bagpipes back."

"Wait!"

Everyone now looked at Pouncival. "Maybe he'll trade for Bomba?"

Tugger's glare, perfected on poor Grizabella, caused Pouncival to shrink down and mutter, "It was worth a try."

Munk continued, "So. Flirting for bagpipes. Deal?"

Tugger rolled his head and pretended to think about it.

"Deal. Give 'em."

Munk trotted away and quickly returned with the long-lost bagpipes.

Tugger snatched them. Just as quickly he tucked them under his arm and raised the candy cane pipe to his mouth.

The shrill wail of the bagpipes pierced the night. Jellyorum groaned loudly, and even sweet Jemima had a hard time keeping a straight face.

Munk covered his own ears hastily. He glanced at Demeter. She looked annoyed (weren't they all?) but strangely satisfied. Munk followed her line of vision to where Bombalurina sat. Bomba, the mastermind behind the whole heist.

But you would never guess by looking at her. She was beaming and listening to the "music" with rapt attention.

Tugger, who had clearly started playing to punish everyone, was keeping eye contact with Bomba while he played. He gave her a wink.

Munk couldn't help but smile. Bomba would rather listen to those pipes every day than have Tugger flirting with all the girls.

And he was sure Tugger would never guess that it wasn't the music she was adoring. Her big amber eyes glowed with pleasure, and her red lips were unconsciously parted. She looked as though she would rather do nothing else than listen to this.

A soft crunching came from Munk's lower left. Demeter was eating a bag of goldfish crackers.

He leaned over and whispered, "You shouldn't do that. They always give you goldfish dreams."

Demeter smiled wryly. "I don't mind as long as no one wakes me up."

Munk noted the way Tugger was looking at Bomba. "No worries. I think that your sister will be rather busy tonight."

"Munk..."