"Now I understand." she said, and when he looked up he pretended for the sake of both of them not to know what she was referring to.

"Really? What?"

"I understand how you feel when a person you trust, respect – love – cheats on you. I get the 'I look at you and I feel nauseous' thing now. Completely."

He looked away, sheepishly, and instantly hid the pain her sentence had caused him. He had no right to feel hurt. She had it though to throw it all in his face.

"So you feel nauseous thinking about me?" he couldn't believe he'd said those killers words to her once.

Her hand rustled in the air, hitting his cheek hard. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out of it. This time, he raised his eyes. He stood up, in a sudden movement, and pushed her against the wall in a passionate kiss.

x

"Where are you going?" he sat up, grabbing his boxers and putting them on as Addison covered herself with the sheets and picked up her clothes from the floor.

"I... I have a flight to catch." she said in a low tone, but not exactly whispering. It was the same one he had before.

"I don't want you to go. Please don't leave."

"Derek." she buttoned up her blouse. "Aren't we even yet? I think we are. I cheated on you and I had a relationship with another person. You had a relationship with Meredith and you cheated on me. I think we are. Even."

"Please don't go." Derek repeated, desperately.

She shook her head and moved towards the door.

"I'll kill myself, okay? If you go, if you go I kill myself!" he screamed in the last attempt to make her stay a little longer. "Addison, I love you!"

The disgusted look she gave him was almost enough to make him want to really commit suicide.

x

She sighed heavily and walked to the bed, shivering in her light jacket. She slipped under the sheets and snuggled against him, looking him in his eyes when he woke up.

"Jeez Derek, I can smell the liquor everywhere." she never liked when he drank.

Derek blinked.

She didn't go.

"You didn't go."

"I just couldn't. Not without listening to you first. Because you wanted to talk, didn't you?"

"Yep." he said, holding her tight.

"I'm not talking to you while you're drunk though."

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Derek." she called him softly, placing a little kiss on his lips. "We'll talk in the morning, if you don't mind. And let go of me, I'm still mad at you like hell."

"Tell me just... if you're gonna throw it in my face in the future."

"Are you gonna do it? About Mark?"

"No. Never."

"I think I will, sometimes."

"Oh. It's okay. I deserve it."

"I deserved it too Derek."

"No, Addie – you tried."

"I tried." she sighed. "It didn't work out well, did it Derek?"

"I'm sorry."

"Sleep now."

"Can I just hold-"

"SLEEP now!"

A/N: I didn't mean to end it like that, but this ff REALLY wrote itself when I wasn't looking :D