A self-insert into the Mass Effect universe. Inspired by the hit t.v. show Psych. Feel free to comment. Comments can feel like a pain to write, but it's encouraging to see people leave them, whether they are good or bad. At least it means people are reading the story.

Part One: Chapter One

...

I jingle the key in the bike lock, biting back on my impatience. 'C'mon, give me something to work with…YES!' Finally it turns, opening the lock and freeing my bike. Throwing my backpack over my shoulder, I set off at a brisk pace, enjoying the cool autumn air as it whips past my face. The twilight sky still has a faint tint of light on the western horizon, while a black star-studded curtain slowly creeps in from the east. It's 6:45 at night and I already can't wait for dinner. The ride back from the campus library is a short one, so instead of rushing back I take the time to savor the smells, the air, and the scenery. There's no one else around, which may be odd, but then it is a Friday night. Most people are probably getting a head start on their soon-to-be hangovers. I ride past the campus bookstore, turning to my right to admire the glowing blue fountain…

Suddenly the oddity of the sight hits me and I hit my brakes. I look back at the fountain, not truly believing what I am seeing. The fountain had always caught my eye for its design; the centerpiece is a large, tangled structure that looks like it was made of fire or undersea coral. But now in the center of the branches there is a bizarre sight. A cool blue light pulsates gently, sending out gentle waves of light. I cautiously go over and lean my bike against the nearby benches. I walk towards the fountain, gazing in awe but unable to move. The light is beautiful; I feel compelled to touch it without understanding why. Part of my mind, the sane part, is telling me to turn around and run, but my body wasn't cooperating. I stepped into the fountain without much thought, my eyes captivated by the light. It felt like there was something hidden in there, something I couldn't quite see. I could swear I heard voices emanating from the orb. I stretched out my hand slowly, not sure what to expect. My fingers past into the glow, slowly reaching towards its bright core.

Suddenly, everything changed. The light began to shine blindingly bright, until I had to turn my face away. I heard a sound like the howling of a hurricane mixed with the sound of a building charge. In an instant, I felt myself sucked into something, kind of like I was being compressed into a single beam of light.

Yet almost as soon as it begins, it ends. I find myself falling face first into the water. Plunging under the surface, I cover my head with my arms and brace to hit the bottom, but to my surprise it isn't there. I open my eyes in the water, shocked to see the light of day above me. I snap my legs, swimming for the surface. As soon as my head clears, I focus just on drawing a few deep gasps of air, shaking the water out of my face. I open my eyes again, the sight before me more shocking than anything I had seen yet.

'This place looks just like the Presidium from the old Mass Effect game I have' I thought. But the more I look, the more I am convinced that is exactly that. The torus shape of the room (if it could be called a single room, it seemed impossibly large in person), the trees, the krogan statue, the relay monument; all perfectly set just like in the video game.

It takes me a second to realize I'm currently floating around in the massive Presidium Lake itself. 'This is impossible. People don't go through some magic portal into a fictional universe like Narnia or something in real life. Maybe this is all some crazy hallucination because I hit my head and am lying in a hospital bed somewhere. Yeah, that could make sense. Well, at least more sense than this.' Still, I can't deny that it sure feels real. The water is very cool, shockingly refreshing as I tread water and try to mentally grapple with the situation I find myself in.

"Hey, human! Get out of there! Swimming in the lake is strictly prohibited!"

I turned my head sharply, looking for the source of the noise, finally realizing it is coming from above me. A turian with a bald face and a blue and black uniform looks down at me from a low bridge in what I assume must be an angry glare.

My mind scrambles for an excuse, "S-sorry. I fell in."

The turian barks in a way I assume is a disbelieving laugh. "Okay, sure. We'll go with that. Now would you mind getting out of there before you cost me my job?"

Realizing that last part probably wasn't a suggestion, I swam for a shallow place where I could climb out. For the time being, I was just going to pretend that this was all real; it would at least make things easier to cope with. By the time I had gotten there and had clambered out, dripping puddles all over the immaculate white floors, the turian was already waiting for me, growling faintly as his mandibles flickered irritably.

I was the first to speak. "You're the Presidium Groundskeeper right?" I vaguely remembered him from Mass Effect 2.

He snorted, "Figured that out all by yourself?"

I didn't bother to retort, figuring I probably wouldn't be doing myself any favors by pissing him off anymore.

"Now what's a duct rat like you doing up here on the Presidium? It's a restricted area."

Bristling a little at being called a 'duct rat', I realized I wasn't going to be able convince him I came from another universe either. I shrugged, "I have my ways."

At that the turian seemed to sneer. "You are an impudent whelp aren't you? Well, you don't have to tell me how you managed to sneak in. We'll leave it to C-Sec to figure that out."

I was outraged. "You're going to hand me to the cops for accidentally falling into your precious lake? Are you serious?"

"I believe you humans have a phrase, 'Serious as a brain aneurism'." Despite the fact that he had just butchered a human idiom, it wasn't in the least bit funny. "Throw in a charge for vagrancy and I'm sure they'll have plenty of reason to take you off my hands."

Before I can respond, a familiar voice came from behind. "Is there a problem Lantis?"

I turned to see a turian in blue C-Sec armor, blue tattoos streaked under his eyes and along his mandibles. Steely silver eyes stared bemusedly back at mine, an iconic blue tracking visor over his left eye. Garrus Vakarian, in the flesh. He seemed much more vivid in person, his striking predatory features and calm voice masking the fiery temper that lay beneath. Or maybe I was just seeing this because I already knew so much about him.

"Officer Vakarian! I caught this vagrant taking a dip in the lake."
Garrus's mandibles flared in amusement. "Really? Well that's got to be a first. Don't worry Lantis, I'll take it from here."

Satisfied, Lantis the groundskeeper strode away. I shot a glare at him as he went. That guy was way more of a jerk than I remembered him being in the game. I turned back to Garrus, who seemed to be studying my bizarre outfit, blurting out,

"Garrus Vakarian? You're the officer looking to take down the Spectre Saren Arterius, right?"

To my amusement, Garrus was speechless for the first time I'd ever seen him. His mandibles were dropped open, hanging widely as he looked at me in surprise.

"How do you know who I am? And how would you know anything about that?" he inquired suspiciously.

His reaction was exactly what I was hoping for. Now I knew what time period I was in, and better yet, that I was still in time to see the story unfold. Well, if this was all just a fantasy world anyway, I definitely wanted to see Commander Shepard before I woke up.

"I have a knack for finding these things out. What would you say if I knew how to nail the guy?"

He crossed his arms, frowning at me. "The case is closed. My boss ended my investigation before I had the time to acquire any evidence." He said this bitterly. Obviously it still rankled him that Saren was going to get away with his crimes. I tried to exploit that.

"But you know he's guilty. You can't just walk away from this knowing he'll get away with this. What about justice?"

Garrus paced back and forth, obviously agitated. "I've already gotten on my boss's bad side on multiple occasions. If I continue this investigation on my own, it'll be all the excuse he needs to suspend me."

I pressed on, "Aren't you tired of playing by the stupid rules? All that red tape is just going to get innocent people killed in the end. If you don't do something, Saren is going to be free to wreck havoc across the galaxy, and no one will stop him. Do you want that on your conscience? Doesn't your dedication to justice supersede your obligations to the system?"

He stopped pacing, staring at me intensely with those piercing silver eyes as he thought over what I said. I stared back at him, knowing I couldn't let myself be cowed if this was going to work. After a long moment, he broke the silence.

"You said you know how to find proof?"

I exhaled, silently thankful that he was still listening. "I stopped by a Med Clinic in the upper wards run by—"

"Doctor Chloe Michel. I know."

"That's the one. I overheard a conversation between Michel and a quarian girl. Apparently, she had been shot and Michel was patching her up. Michel wanted to help, but the quarian seemed nervous to tell her anything. She told Michel that she had information that could damn a Spectre and that he had sent assassins to eliminate her, but refused to say any more. Michel said she would put her in contact with the Shadow Broker, saying something about an agent named Fist. I didn't really catch anything more than that. But after finding out about the trial Saren was under, I assumed he must be the one she was talking about." I said this all in a bit of a rush. I was lying about how I got the information of course, but maybe honesty is not the best policy in a dream world.

Garrus blinked, his voice obviously disappointed. "That's your source? You think that some quarian woman somehow got some dirt on a Spectre, and that Spectre has to be none other than Saren himself?"

"I know I am right. It's just a hunch, I admit it, but my hunches are rarely wrong."

Garrus stared at me for a while more, pondering what he should do. He crossed his arms, mandibles still in what I thought was a frown.

"I still won't say I believe you, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt today because I'm feeling generous. I'm supposed to be investigating a weapons deal in the Upper Wards, so there won't be a problem with at least checking your story out."

'Yes! Victorious!" I celebrated silently, but he wasn't finished, "And anyway, if it turns out you're just wasting my time, well, C-Sec Headquarters are just by the Med Clinic. I'm sure I could make time for a short stop."

His words may have felt more menacing in a different circumstance, but since I already knew I was right, I had no problem smiling. "Looks like we have a deal."

Garrus snorted. "All right kid. Follow me."

I thought it was funny that he called me kid, given that I'm at least half a foot taller than him.

"It's Benjamin, by the way."

"If I cared, I would have asked."

Maybe that groundskeeper wasn't the only jerk in this game…

...

I groaned impatiently at the slowness of the elevator. I had thought that it had just been the game's way of loading that made the rides so slow, but no, they really did creep along at a snail's pace. And it was a much, much longer trip from the Presidium to the wards than I remembered.

"Problem?" Garrus turned and peered up at me through the visor.

"You would think that a place as advanced as the Citadel would have faster elevators. I've already heard this same dang tune play through three times since we got in here. It's never going to get out of my head."

He chuckled briefly. I was still a bit damp in my clothes, but a change of outfit would be impossible now, seeing as I was effectively dead broke. Suddenly I realized my cell phone and wallet were still in my pockets. Great, they were definitely ruined now. I guess they would be kind of useless here anyway though. I sent up a silent prayer of thanks when we finally arrived at the Upper Wards.

As we walked through the doors, I was bombarded with a barrage of sound and images. It was difficult to take it all in. Turians, asari, and humans bustled about in a chaotic, flowing crowd. I even saw an elcor plodding along on it's way to the market. I wanted to hear one's monotonous voice in person, but realized I should probably keep following Garrus. I looked over at Flux's neon sign as I passed by, my eyes drifting down to an asari checking her omni-tool by the club's entrance. It was interesting to see one in the flesh. She had small, pink facial tattoos, contrasting her light blue skin, and wore a tight, form-fitting, yellow and blue dress. 'I guess I could see how they could be attractive to humans, but what about other species?'

The asari looked at me sharply, "Don't you know it's rude to stare?"

Now I have a habit of popping off every now and again before I can control myself, so even I was shocked to hear myself say, "Just enjoying the view."

She looked at me intently, a bit of a smile forming on her lips. She struck a slightly seductive pose. "Oh, were you now?" her voice smooth and inviting.

Yeah, this was definitely going the wrong way. I stammered a bit, which seemed to only encourage her more. I have to say I was actually relieved to hear Garrus call for me. "Uh, I gotta go."

She smirked, seeming to enjoy the game she was playing with me. Maybe there was more truth to asari promiscuity rumors than they would like to admit. I turned quickly, running straight into something short and heavy.

"Watch where (draws breath) you're walking (draws breath) earth-clan!"

'Well sock me sideways, a real-life volus!' The diminutive alien (complete with a thickly plated, spherical environmental suit, white flap-things where his face should be and loud, gas-sucking breathing apparatus) stared angrily up at me. Kind of cute, in a weird way.

"Terribly sorry. Didn't see you down there." In retrospect, that was definitely a poor choice of words. He puffed up in indignation, his breathing interrupting his words with even greater frequency as he raged.

"You're (draws breath) mocking (draws breath) me (draws breath) earth clan! Just because (draws breath) the vol-clan is (draws breath) shorter—"

A clawed hand grabbed me, pulling me around. Garrus looked irritated.

"Already making friends? Just stick close to me and stop causing more trouble than you're worth."

I looked back at the angry volus. "I really am sorry about that. I meant no disrespect."

"Bah!" he flung a small, thick hand in the air. "I shouldn't (draws breath) waste my breath on you (draws breath)."

The statement was begging a witty retort, but Garrus was walking away, so I hurried to catch up with him. As we worked out way through the crowd, I noticed that large viewing port that overlooked the Citadel.

Without thought I raced over there, gawking at the sight before me. The view was amazing, far more detailed and awe-inspiring than in the game. On each of the Citadel's massive arms, countless massive structures jutted up for miles, some so far away they became mere points of light. Streams of headlights indicated the traffic pattern of sky cars crisscrossing and flowing throughout the arms. A massive turian cruiser drifted lazily nearby. 'There had to be millions of people out there! I wonder if there are other alien species that I haven't seen before living out there too?'

"Hey kid. Do I need to put you on a leash?"

I turned at Garrus, frowning, "Geez, can't a guy enjoy the sights a bit?"

Garrus frowned in return. "I thought you had been in the Upper Wards before?"

Realizing my slip, I tried to come up with a reasonable excuse. "Yeah, but I never get tired of the view. You can't honestly say that this place doesn't strike you as incredible every now and then."

Garrus shrugged, stepping up to the railing on my left side. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Sometimes you lose the scale of this place when you are confined to one place for too long."

I turned towards him, noticing something in the background.

"Garrus, are you seeing this?"

"You mean the five armed men who just entered the Med Clinic? Yeah, I see that." How could he see that? He wasn't even turned to face them.

"Well, are you convinced yet that I'm telling the truth?"

"No, but I intend on finding out. A potential hostage situation complicates things, though. We have to act fast, so C-Sec reinforcements aren't an option. We have to find a way to get inside…" His voice was calm and collected, much like I expected of him.

I thought for a bit. "Okay Garrus, I have a plan. It's not much, but it's a plan…"

...

"You sure you can keep them distracted?"

I turned towards him, smiling in spite of the nervousness that rose in my gut.

"Stop worrying so much. I was born for this kind of thing."

He wasn't convinced, "I don't suppose it has occurred to you that you're crazy for even planning this?"

"I wouldn't say crazy. Maybe an eccentric who looks good in jeans, but not crazy."

He didn't seem to get the humor, probably wondering what "jeans" were, but was still willing to go with the plan for now. I took a deep breath, bracing myself as I stepped into the clinic. As the doors opened up, I shouted frantically,

"Doctor! Someone is choking up in Flux! You've got to come right away!"

The five men turned abruptly, looking shocked at my intrusion. Their leader spoke up in a gruff voice.

"The doctor's busy right now kid. Beat it."

"But he's suffocating! She's got to come now!"

"She'll be along shortly. Please show the kid to the door boys—"

"NO! I'm fine! I'll go grab someone else. Thanks anyways!"

I ran from the room before any of them could properly react. The distraction may have been stupid, but it had worked. As the clinic had a short wall that hid my lower half from the thugs' view, they couldn't see that Garrus had managed to slink in undetected while I prattled on.

As I ran, I abruptly slammed into a wall. Not an actual wall, but it sure felt like one. I should really learn to look where I am going. As I fell to the ground, I heard a deep bass voice, growling.

"Watch where you're going, human."

"Sorry." I said as I rubbed my head, an armored glove filling up my vision. I looked up to see the outstretched hand of a human soldier waiting to help me up. My eyes flicked over the N7 symbol on his chest. Yep, it was Shepard all right. And right on time too. I grabbed the hand, surprised at the strength in the vice-like grip as he hauled me up.

"You all right there, kid?" He asked with a bit of a smile. He had the features of the default Shepard, but I was glad to see his concern for me. It probably meant he was a paragon character, making my life considerably easier.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry Wr-, er…"

Wrex, the hulking seven foot tall, one metric ton krogan mercenary that I had the luck of running into, squinted at me suspiciously. "Do I know you human?"

"Uh, no. No, we haven't met, it's just uh…" I turned back towards Shepard, eager to mask my slip-up.

"You're looking for Vakarian, right? He just went into the Med Clinic." I pointed a thumb behind me. "You'd better hurry. There are five armed thugs threatening the doctor."

Shepard turned to look at his team, briefly nodding before turning back to me.

"Thanks for the tip. Try to stay out of trouble."

With that Shepard took Wrex, Ash, and Kaidan into the clinic. I waited nearby, knowing it was only a matter of time before the action started. Sure enough, guns started blazing only moments after they entered: the rattling of machine gun fire, the cracking of pistol shots, the boom of a shotgun, even a particularly loud crack that I was pretty sure came from a grenade. It only lasted about ten seconds, but it somehow seemed much longer than that. Once I was sure the fighting had stopped, I stepped into the clinic.

Shepard and his crew stood, collected and unharmed in the midst of the destruction, questioning the shaken doctor. As I already knew what the conversation was about, I was content to lean against the wall as I waited for them to finish. Garrus was accepted into the squad, and soon the whole group was moving out. As Garrus passed me, he stopped and looked me over seriously, a little bit more respect in his gaze now.

"Good work distracting those thugs. You were lucky that they were moronic enough to fall for that though."

I grinned, "I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been sure it would work. Besides, it paid off didn't it?"

"Indeed. You've got guts kid. I'll make sure to get those charges cleared for you before I leave C-Sec. It's the least I can do." He turned to walk away, to my confusion.

"Hey, wait up!"

He turned back in surprise. "You're not actually expecting to go with us are you?"

What the hell? He was just cutting me out of the loop like that?

"It was because of me that you're even here in the first place. Now you're just getting rid of me?"

He frowned. "I appreciate what you've done, but you can't expect me to take you along just because you're eager to help. You wouldn't last a minute in an actual firefight. Do you even have any weapons training?"

"I've shot guns before…"

"You've shot guns before", he repeated sarcastically. "So you're telling me that despite having no weapons, no armor, and no experience in combat in any way, you still want to come along?"

I fumed at him, knowing he was right but not being able to accept it.

"This is bigger than you are, kid. Go home, or wherever you came from."

And with that he turned around and walked out the door. Bastard.