Reap, Sow and Reave

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but will use shamelessly anyway.

Foreword to greatness:

Greetings and salutations to you, my dear reader! I commend you, my delightful and voyeuristic interloper, on successfully managing to get your grubby little mitts upon my diary. Congratulations on your cleverness, guile and ingenuity, or as it may be, well done on finding a savvy real estate agent, and having the hard cash to afford my marvellous Millfields abode – such a delightful view of the lake it boasts on a clear summer's day.

But I digress, alas the mind does tend to wander after all these centuries and I do so find the mundane triviality of everyday living awfully dull. In truth I find myself growing quite nostalgic for the days of yore when heroes were less sanctimonious and Albion was a younger, more naïve sort of place; hence the reason for this little compendium of my greatest and most seminal achievements.

For you see I find myself afflicted with an odd confessional itch, one that takes me every fifty years or so. I have lived such an interesting and eventful life and met so many interesting people that it becomes almost intolerable to keep such insights as I boast hidden away. It is quite the frightful burden really, there have been so many faces to pass before my eyes; so many little lives I have watched spark into existence and wink out again like will-o-the-wisps that they keep me up at night. Thus I find myself compelled to make a marriage of paper and ink and spill my words upon these pages.

It really is remarkable; all I have done to attain this long life of mine and sometimes it feels like such a millstone around my neck. I do so crave the opportunity to talk to someone who might possibly understand. Of course once I had unburdened myself regards my existential angst I would be forced to kill that person, I do so value my privacy after all, so I suppose it is as well I pen this little autobiographical work instead. There is a small chance in this regard my dear reader, that you should be so blessed with anonymity that I might never find you. So let us make a little pact, shall we? I shall pour across these pages the many faceted wonders and sordid little details of my life for your devouring eye and you, whoever you are, shall keep your trap shut about all you read here…or I will hunt you down and kill you.

Does that sound like a plan? Marvellous!

Well then, let us begin, yes? I believe introductions, while completely unnecessary in regards to my august self, are at the very least a traditional beginning to these sorts of things, and I do so like traditional things, so long as observing them does not inconvenience me in any fashion.

Where was I? Ah yes, I, dear reader, am Reaver. This interesting sobriquet is both a title and, I suppose one could say, a vocation...as you will soon discover. I have doffed many hats in my fascinating and well lived life, industrialist and entrepreneur, mayor and revered lord of Bloodstone, pirate and thief, renowned lover, and dapper chappie to name but a few of my past pursuits. Some have even referred to me as a hero, which I must confess while gratifying to the ego is nevertheless somewhat ironic all things considered. Then again, we are all the heroes of our own adventures, are we not?

I should warn you however before we go any further to beware of what scandal and daring-do shall stand revealed in these here pages. My tale, while enthralling and without parallel, is not for the faint of heart. As my former compeers in the pirating business used to say: here be monsters.

Now, let my story begin...