This plot bunny kept eating at me until I wrote it!
I'll update everything else sooner or later..

(Italicized words are in other languages!)

You might not want to read this craptastic work of mine.. It sucks.. :'3

Please enjoy! I don't own Hetalia~! (If I did, trust me, things would be more Prussia-centric!)

I, for one, was not too pleased.

My bruder wouldn't let me come to the meeting on his terms, so I snuck in with the help of his adorable Italian girlfriend. My friends, France and Spain, weren't able to cause trouble with me since they'd been tamed by their ladies. I'd like to mention that I was too awesome to feel the loneliness that came with these events.

Germany sent me a sideways glance, sighing. "Osten.. please don't cause trouble.." The reason he hadn't wanted me to come was because last time, I'd managed to almost start world war 3, and no one wanted that. (It was an accident!)

Prussia moped, looking around the room. Everyone had a say in the world's current affairs-

Wait. Except that blond guy. His hair was more Francis-esque then anything, and there was a strange downward loop of a curl. His eyes were Purple, not blue. And the small bear in his arms kept asking him questions that made him look sadder and sadder.

I pulled bruder's sleeve to get his attention, distracting him from the growing argument between China and Japan about Hello Kitty.

I pointed at the blond. "Westen, who's that kid there?"

The German gave me an 'are you an idiot' face. (Which no, I was not!) "That's America.."'

I frowned. "No, that guy!" I pointed at him again.

Bruder squinted. "Who?"

BAH. I shook my head shamefully, turning away from Germany. "Not awesome.."

"America's brother, ve?" North Italy piped up, hugging bruder. "Isn't he Canada?"

I smirked, nodding. "Of course! Danke, Feli!" That's it! I'm too awesome to forget stuff, so I'll just remember it.

Luddy became otherwise distracted by Feli afterwords.

I decided it'd be awesome of me to read that diary of my awesome life I packed in case I got bored out of my mind, which was happening now. I pulled a faded blue book, handmade by the awesome me, out, opening it gently.

Oh fuck yeah! This one's good~

Prussia's awesome diary excerpt:

The other day, France came over to my place, elated about something or another. The Frenchman hugged me from behind, and I quickly countered with a knee to his gut. With France, rape was possible.

But he recovered quicker than normal. "Gillian, my friend! You shall never guess the blessing that came upon me in the new world~"

Oh yeah, he did say something about that.. It must've been pretty fucking awesome if this is his reaction. I got exited too. "What was it? Ore? Gold? Warriors?"

"No, much, much better! I found this!" He said, blushing, as he took out a sketched picture of a small boy."My darling Mathieu~"

I blushed as I took the picture. "This kid's fucking adorable!" But that was an understatement.

Francis gushed about the tiny nation, or at least everything he'd learned about him so far. "And soon, I shall take off again to see this angel! I only wish you and Toni could meet him in person~"

I smirked, getting an awesome idea. "Francis, why can't we?"

The Frenchman's face went blank momentarily, before he returned the smirk. "I do not see a problem with this, no?" He was just jealous he hadn't thought of it first!

Getting Antonio in on this, escaping the bosses, and getting a ship prepared in secret took two full weeks. The voyage itself took more than a month, but the awesome me could be patient. Especially since teasing the ship workers was easy as fuck. Kesesese~

Finally, we'd reached it.

Canada.

The place was cold, so I wore my awesome long jacket, leather boots, and tricolor hat to keep myself warm, leaving my hair down to cover my neck.

It may've been cold, but damn, this place had some beauty! The snow glittered on the ground, reflecting sunlight. Trees of all shapes, even ones someone as awesome as I hadn't seen before, made up vast forests as we made our way, by carriage, to this 'Mathieu'.

France was babbling nonstop on the way there, and tripped in the snow when upon arrival.

I smirked down at him before walking past. "There's no rush, Francis~"

The Frenchman managed to speed past me anyway, into the small, log cabin.

No one beats the awesome me! I ran after him, with Toni stumbling through the unfamiliar terrain.
(Personal Note: It doesn't snow in Spain too much...)

"Mathieu~!" France squealed, holding a tiny bundle in his arms, cuddling it closely.

"Papa.." The small thing whispered, in French. Was that all he spoke? Damn.. my French was rusty, at best. (Fritz told me to learn it, so I understand mort spoken French..)

Being awesome and all, I let them have their moment peacefully.

Francis eventually remembered us, and he turned the child in his arms so that he was facing outwards. "My angel, these two are my best friends. Remember the ones I told you of?"

He nodded. "Oui, papa.."

Antonio patted the small child's head, speaking French fluently. "Ah, he's so cute~ Almost as cute as my Romana~"

The Frenchie looked offended, bringing the nation to me. "Gil?"

"Well.. he's definitely cuter in real life.." I smirked, trying to hide my blush. Fuck! Why were cute things so adorable? "Awesome!" I laughed happily.

The child turned red, tucking himself into his father's shirt. Canada mumbled some things, in French, to France, which made him smile widely. "Too true, Mathieu~"

Were they talking about me? "What'd he say!" I asked, maybe too violently. "Did he insult me? "

Francis's smirk only grew. "No, quite the opposite, my temperamental friend. He said that you are one of the most beautiful women he has laid his young eyes upon."

I blushed.

The fuck? He was just a kid!

But he was France's kid.. And France was.. well, he knew things.

I held out my arms, taking the small child in them, much to his surprise. I cradled him close to my chest. "Really? He must have awesome taste, then. Hello, Mathieu." I said, trying my best to speak French. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

France giggled. "You look like a mother, Gillian.."

The Canadian tugged on my sleeve to get my attention. "The pleasure is all mine, Miss Gil."

I smiled. "You fucking bet it is!" Laughing, I hugged him close as I spoke to France."You taught him the French ways, all right." .

France only smiled.

About a month later, Francis said we had to leave.

I was worried. I'd grown really attached to him over the time I'd spent here. He even slept in my bed, by his request. Mathieu seemed lonely without others, since he was the only nation he knew of in this vast, fleeting landscape that held so much.

Francis was as sad to leave him as I was. Toni.. I think he was freezing his Mediterranean ass off by this point; homesick, and Romana-sick.

We gave the kid a warning a day in advance. I was playing hide and seek with him, and after catching him for the umpteenth time, I knew I had to tell him. "Mattie?"

"Oui?" The child smiled up at me, petting his bear.

"We kinda.." Damn.. this was hard.. "Mattie, we gotta.." I stopped, then wiped my eyes. They'd started leaking. Stupid eyes!

The child patted my knee. "You and papa must leave my home, oui?"

I rubbed my still watering eyes, nodding.

"Oh.." Sadness leaked onto his little face.

I hugged Canada close to hide my awesome, definitely not crying or blushing, face. "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll meet again. This world is too small to hold someone this awesome from anyone for long!"

Mathieu nodded into my shirt. "Promise?"

"Promise."

Mathieu, riding his bear, followed us to the port. He travelled quickly, giving us sad glances.

Francis, ever the emotional man, waved his handkerchief through tears as the boat set off. I gave a small salute, and a sad smile. Toni said something about tomatoes that made me kick him. The small child waved us away, until he was a speck.

And so we left.

Looking up from the awesomeness that was my diary, I glanced back at the kid. Wait, that was Mathieu? Canada? (How would they spell that nowadays? Matthew?)

I flipped through the pages again. How could someone as awesome as me have forgotten this?

I didn't forget, no, he'd just gotten bigger.

Cuter.

And sexier.

The Canadian petted his bear as he watched, with everyone else, as America and England having a cat fight.

Maybe somebody needed to make his day a little more awesome.

Glancing at bruder, who was ignoring the world in lieu of his book, I deemed it safe to crawl under the table. I was glad that this was a larger table, seeing as it was unawesome to bump into people.

The seat to his immediate left was empty. Awesome!

I crawled up, not letting myself be known. Looking around again, everyone was still watching them.

I poked the sad nation. "Psst, Canada."

He looked up at me, blinking his surprise. "You can see me?"

I patted his head, laughing quietly. "Kesesese.. of course! You're still adorable, kid!"

The Canadian blushed, burying his face into his bear. "I'm not, eh.." He glanced at me, wondering if he should continue. "..that's why people notice my sister instead of me, eh.. there's nothing aboot me that makes me stand out.."

I smirked. "Howsabout that awesome accent of yours?"

"Accent?"

"Maybe people are just intimidated by how adorable you are. Or maybe.. Isn't Canada.. what.. the second largest nation in the world?" I listed off some fun facts I remembered. (Yes, his cuteness was a fact, and all ugly people would have to live with it!)

He was blushing redder. "I'm.. not.."

I patted his back roughly. "Don't doubt yourself, Canada! At least you have… a nation.." All of my vigor was lost now. Fuck…

"Gillian." His tone turned serious. How the fuck did he remember my name?

"You're still East Germany. You're nation lives on in your people and I kinda.." His tone was still serious, but the Canadian was blushing again. "I liked your name.. Prussia.. so I.. eh.. named a part of my land.. New Prussia.."

"Kesese…." I laughed quietly, not disturbing our neighbors. "Which name? Kid, you only call people by their human name if you're close to them."

"I thought we were close.." Canada stated innocently.

"But I haven't seen you in years, which I kinda…" I cut myself off sheepishly, rubbing my neck.

"It doesn't matter.." His face held a minute amount of nostalgia. "You're still the most beautiful women I've ever laid my eyes upon. Through all these centuries, in all the nations.." The Canadian's smile said he was telling the truth.

Fuck, the tables were turned. Now I was the embarrassed one, and he used his French powers to be cool and collected!

Well, I'll fucking win this game! I'm just that awesome! (And even if it isn't a game, then what the hell~!)

"Really?" He turned to me, probably to protest or something. Little did he know that I would capture his lips, bringing him into a kiss he quickly joined. (Gott, where'd he learn to kiss?)

But we were cut short by someone pulling us apart. Fucking unawesome!

"MATTIE!" America screamed, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

England was rubbing her temples. "Don't scream, Amer-"

"THAT BITCH WAS VIOLATING MY BROTHER, MA!" The American shouted again, pointing at my face.

I stood, growling. "It's not called violating, it's called seizing vital regions!" (Which I'm awesome at) "And it didn't even happen!"

Canada laughed, trying to lighten things up. "Sis, I'm fine, eh.."

"Like hell you are-!" A hand was clamped over her mouth, by none other than the Canadian himself. I guess even quiet guys had tempers.

"Sis. I'm. Ok. Eh. Thank you, by the way," He started whispering loud enough so that only those closest to him could hear it. "For interrupting something I've been wanting for decades, but hey, no pressure. I'm sure you'd like to drop this subject, lest I tell the entire world your little 'secret', Al, eh?"

America raised an eyebrow.

Canada nodded, glancing at Russia and back.

She blushed, laughing shakily as she backed away. "Heroine's have the ability to forgive!"

Canada smiled, sitting down again.

I sat for a moment, waiting for America to draw the attention back to herself before asking him, "Really?"

Canada tilted his head questioningly. (AWW.)

"Decades? I mean, you coulda just asked.." I blushed. Reading the diary didn't jog my memory, I'd never really forgotten who he was. "Kinda sweet to lie like that for me.."

"Who said it was a lie?" Canada asked quietly. "I mean, I do love you.."

My smile grew. Not one of those smirk-smiles, or I'm-awesome-smiles, or anything like that. It was a genuine, me-too-smile, and Canada caught it as soon as he saw it, as well as got an answer.

OMAKE:

France wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Félicitations Gil~"

Canada pouted at this guesture. "Papa, I-"

"And you as well, Mathieu!" He wrapped his other arm around Canada, pulling us both close to him. "Is l'amore not wonderful? I would not call it 'arranged', but I knew there was some connection between you two~"

So he wasn't going to kill me? Fuck yeah! I'm too awesome to die! "Danke!"

At least someone fucking approved.. England was having a damn conniption fit with America, and Bruder gave me the cold shoulder..

Canada smiled. "Merci.." He whispered.

His French smile returned. "And besides, I will have to vouch for Gillian's vital region claiming abilities, my fortunate son~"

The next thing I knew, Canada was tugging me away by my arm, and France was sporting a bump on the top of his head.

Fuck yeah! this kid was going to be fun~

Cheesy ending is cheesy. I couldn't help but wrap things up with an omake. I think all of my half-serious one shots will have them, to add some more humor...

Apparently I've been having Germany call Prussia 'Easten', but it's Osten. I feel stupid. :D
(Said almost the same way though, ne?)

Anywhoo, this is one of two fem Prussia one shots I'm planning. One type of Fem Prussia is like in WAMV, with long hair, a big chest, and so forth. There's another version, apparently, where her hair is about neck high, she's flatish, a tomboy, and so on. When I write Prussia, male or female, they're relatively the same, personalitywise. So it'll be fun to try out the other fem-Prussia, ne?

Fun fact! I called Canada Canada for simplicities sake! Canada was called as such because the Iroquois native word for Village, Kanata, was adapted into Canada early on.

And I know it would take a while for the nations to go back and forth, and there may've been some war or another going on at the time, but nations get vacations too! ( . v.)

Danke for reading! Please review~! It brings a smile to my sleep-deprived heart~

And stay awesome~!

(/ = w=)9
(Pasta time for me!)