Disclaimer: Not my characters.
This story is part of my Hermione/Theo mini-series entitled: Of Writing and Falling in Love. Each story/one-shot has a separate plot and characterisation from the others, dependant on the prompt I am given.
Prompt: Seclusion and Awkwardness go Hand-in-hand.
Of Awkwardness and Sitting in the Dark.
Hermione closed her eyes as she willed the tears to stop falling. Everything was just smothering her. Work, friendships, her heart. Speak of the Devil, it thudded in her chest, reminding her that it was still there.
Sometimes she wished it weren't.
She lost track of how long she'd been sitting in the room for, hearing the vibrations of the bass pounding through the floor of the room next door. She could hear the excited voices of both the sober and drunk. It was loud, but not as loud as the thoughts ricocheting around in her head.
She stiffened as the door to the party slammed shut, eyes now wide open and flitting about nervously. When the door to her room opened just a little she blinked at the sudden strip of light, warily training her gaze onto the door. A voice spoke hesitantly.
"Granger?"
Her heart leapt into her throat, thudding heavily. Not him. Dear Merlin, of all people, don't let it be the one whom her heart was pining for.
The door opened wider to reveal a tall but slender male curling his fingers around the frame, peering into the gloom she had seated herself in. Her called her name again and she curled up tighter into a ball.
Luck seemed to never be on her side.
Theodore finally noticed her hunched against the wall. He lit his wand with a softly spoken "Lumos" and closed the door behind him as he crept in. Hermione willed him not to come closer, but he appeared to not receive the message for he sat down gracefully beside her.
Hermione internally cursed his grace, beauty and – essentially – him, for being most things that she wasn't. She envied at how easily he made friends, how little he needed to study in order to gain exceedingly similar marks to hers. They sat in silence for a while, as Hermione was – for once in her life – tongue-tied.
Well, not for the first time. It just seemed to happen every time she was around him.
"So how come you left the party?" She jumped as his quiet voice echoed through the room, immediately fixing her gaze onto what little of his handsome face she could see in the dim light. Her stared back at her intensely, questioningly. She timidly responded.
"It was too loud." He laughed.
"Come now Granger, I hardly believe that excuse. Now tell me the truth." His words were playful, wanting to coax her into revealing something she wasn't ready for. To compensate she turned away, feeling his gaze pierce the back of her skull, the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. Instead of taking the hint and leaving her alone he shuffled closer, pressing his arm against hers. Hermione swallowed thickly, but kept her face turned away. His scent drifted into her nose and she breathed it in quietly.
She didn't hear Theo shift until his lips were right next to her ear, his words ghosting over the shell. She shivered slightly.
"Come on Granger, tell me. I didn't come away from the party to look for you, only to be ignored." Her reaction was immediate.
"I'm not ignoring you." Her hand clasped over her mouth to prevent any more unwanted words from spilling out. He reached out to caress her face, but missed in the darkness and ended up snagging his fingers in her hair. Theo groaned.
"Your bloody hair." Hermione let out a shy giggle and the atmosphere lightened instantly.
"I know, it's ridiculous."
"You can say that again." She glanced at him in surprise. Most people either attempted to tell her the opposite or shrugged non-committally.
"Refreshing to see someone who speaks their mind." This time it was he who chuckled. Belatedly Hermione realised that his hand was still caught in her hair, so now that she had turned her head he was closer.
Too close for comfort.
"So why did you leave the party to look for me?" As soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to wish them back. The tension between the two heightened, though it was still rather awkward. All she could do was stare at his face, unable to distinguish the colour of his eyes in the dim light of his wand.
Finally, after what seemed like forever for Hermione, he answered.
"Well, I – I didn't want you feeling... alone. And since you were one of the main reasons I came in the first place, I felt that I ought to look for you really." She could just about detect a light flush on his cheeks.
"Oh." It was unintelligent she knew, but she couldn't think of anything more adequate to say. He sighed softly.
"Yeah. Oh."
They sat in silence for a little more, simply staring at each other. Hermione flicked her tongue out to moisten her lips, and watched his eyes follow the movement. Suddenly she remembered his hand, and lifted up her arms to help him free it. It seemed as though he had forgotten also, for he seemed surprised after she removed it from her hair.
His fingers were warm, Hermione decided, and she could feel a couple of callouses on his fingertips. Probably from using a quill too often, like her. Whilst she was studying the feel of his hand he was studying her intently. She could feel his gaze mapping out every aspect of her face, and she wasn't too sure how to feel about it.
On one hand, he said that he had gone to the party mainly because she was. Her heart fluttered in her chest, sending a warm feeling trickling through her veins. On the other...
Well, she couldn't think of anything right now. But give her time, and she could.
He was still so silent. Hermione hoped that it was because the two didn't know each other too well, so conversation was awkward. Scratch that. This whole situation was awkward. Still. Hermione sighed. It was time she changed things.
"So, what's your favourite colour?" He seemed surprised at the question, and quirked an eyebrow. She smiled sheepishly. "I thought I'd just ignore the elephant in the room and start a conversation, but unfortunately I had to say the first thing that popped into my head, and now I sound like an idiot." He chuckled again.
"Granger, you could never be an idiot." Just hearing him say her surname made her feel a little more normal. Couple that with the mini-compliment he just paid her and she felt her heart flutter in her chest. Just a little. She smiled at him softly, opening her mouth to say something, before closing it again, frowning lightly. Theo's brows furrowed slightly. "What were you going to say?" she thought for a moment.
"You know, I'm not entirely sure."
They lapsed back into silence. The atmosphere had cleared slightly, but there was still a sense of something that Hermione couldn't put her finger on. It pressed against her – much like his arm – and she was starting to feel slightly smothered. Instead of focussing on it she thought about how her feelings for Theo had started. In truth, she couldn't pinpoint precisely when they'd begun, however it became clearer to her after they'd bumped into each other whilst leaving their Ancient Runes class.
"I am so sorry; I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." Hermione ducked down to pick up the books that had dropped in the collision. She froze at his next words.
"You're right, you weren't. No matter, hopefully next time you'll pay better attention to your surroundings."
She straightened up and looked at him incredulously. His expression was blank, unfathomable. She knew that her gaze would be blazing, mouth twisting before her lips parted slightly.
"Excuse me? A fair share of the blame would be more appropriate. If you had seen me then you would've moved. Therefore, it was your fault also." He smirked.
"True, but you decided to take the blame Granger. If you wanted me to take a share then you shouldn't have owned up to anything. First rule: Even when you're in the wrong, don't apologise." Hermione just stared at him. Theodore Nott was tall, taller than she remembered. His eyes – she couldn't quite make out the colour due to the blinding light in her eyes from the window – had rooted her to the spot.
"First rule of what?" That damned smirk remained on his face.
"Self-preservation, that's what. If you apologise once then people know immediately that you would apologise for most things, even when it wasn't your fault. It's why you should try and push for the other person to take the blame." Her eyes narrowed.
"Even when it's rude and goes against all etiquette that you've been brought up with?" He opened his mouth to reply, but merely shrugged.
"Touché." She smiled triumphantly, then started to observe him again. He'd shifted slightly, moving into the path of the sun – giving him some sort of backlight so that his hair shone, thoroughly ruffled from his impact with her. He'd dropped the smirk, tongue briefly making an appearance to wet his lips before disappearing again. His eyes flitted over her face, seemingly cataloguing every one of her features. Her stomach clenched, and an unexpected wave of desire struck, flowing quickly through her body. His eyes darkened just a touch, making him appear... predatory. Hermione swallowed. She wanted to just reach out and touch his face, bring his head down to meet hers. Her fingertips twitched, and moved slightly towards him, wanting to just touch –
"Dark orange."
Hermione was brought back to reality with a start. She blinked slowly, realising that the surroundings they were in this time were the complete opposite to how they were the first time they'd talked. Light, dark. Morning, night. It took her a few moments to remember the question she'd asked him, but after everything had clicked back she gave him a soft smile.
"That was unexpected." He shrugged.
"Not really. Green's never been one of my favourite colours, and I couldn't really pick any other house colours, as people would think me bizarre to not have green or silver. So I've picked up a fondness for dark orange. How about you?"
She hummed thoughtfully. "Probably... turquoise. It's so bright and, well, not red or gold." She laughed. "Everybody having the assumption that your favourite colour should be your house colours is ridiculous. It's not as if they should govern our lives. I'm not exactly going to go shopping for and outfit thinking: 'Oh, I'm a Gryffindor, therefore I can only pick a red or gold outfit.'" He laughed, a rich sound that made a sliver of desire pool at the bottom of her stomach. She shivered slightly again. Theo noticed.
"Are you cold? That's the second time you've shivered within about ten minutes." Hermione froze; had he noticed her reaction to him? To try and throw him off track she decided to just agree with him.
She wasn't expecting him to capture one of her hands between his and draw it closer to him, gently rubbing them together, slowly warming it up. She nervously licked her lips. His wand surged with light for a moment before dimming again. Within those couple of seconds she noticed that his pupils were dilated, and his eyes were almost as black as night. She knew that he could see the flush on her cheeks, and was pretty sure that her eyes were pretty dark with lust. It was a couple of moments before he spoke again.
"Your hands are absolutely freezing. Come here." He slid her across the floor a little, before wrapping one of his arms around her shoulders, drawing her under his arm. Hermione squeaked with surprise before allowing herself to nestle into him.
It was what she craved after all.
The silence enveloped them once more, though this time it was less tense, less awkward. Hermione exhaled softly, leaning into him as his fingers caressed her arm slowly. She could feel his breath wash over her hair, leaving some of the strands falling into her eyes. She smiled though, feeling completely at ease with him.
After they'd bumped into each other the first time – literally – it took them another three weeks before they'd had another conversation. This time, things had gone a little differently...
She stood with Harry and Ron flanking her. The trio had playfully been teasing each other when Malfoy had come up with a couple of his cronies and started to join in, only he was malicious with his insults. It was true that Hermione could keep up with his pace, but she just felt so drained. It was then that she saw Theo.
He'd just turned the corner at the other end of the hallway and started to walk towards them, not noticing the two groups glaring at each other. However, when he cast his eyes over to her he halted in his tracks and suddenly looked very hesitant to approach further. She sent him a pleading look before turning her attention back to Malfoy, who obviously hadn't noticed the other figure from his house. She once again became engrossed with the battle of wits.
The boys beside her were furious. Their fists clenched, and just as Ron went to take a swing at Malfoy somebody caught his wrist. Hermione froze as Theo stared at her intensely, his hand covering Ron's fist. His eyes were blazing with an emotion unknown, mouth quirked upwards into a brief smile before straightening out into a flat line. She swallowed thickly before clearing her throat and turning to face to Slytherins.
"I believe that will be all. Come on guys." Ron snatched his fist back and narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Theodore before turning around and storming off with Harry in quick pursuit. Hermione sighed in frustration before turning to follow them. She was quickly spun around again to face Theo, who was suddenly alone, the others having just disappeared around the corner. She exhaled; relieved.
"Thanks so much, I don't know what I'd have done had Ron landed that punch." He looked at her curiously.
"Who says that you had to do anything?" She stared at him in thought for a few moments.
"Basics of friendship. You stick up for each other and try to get each other out of trouble. Then, when you need help you know that they'll return the favour."
"But how do you know that they won't just abandon you?" He seemed earnest now, as if desperate to hear her answer. Looking at him, Hermione could see that though the tone of voice he used had changed, his facial expression remained exactly the same. She shrugged.
"You can never be fully sure, but it's about trust. If you don't trust them to help you, then how can you form even the simplest of friendships?" An awkward silence fell between them as he contemplated her answer for a while. He nodded to her, and she took that as a sign to leave. When she went to step back he followed. Confused, she looked at him again, as if hoping that he'd tell her the answers through his body language.
"I still don't understand." She smiled sadly.
"Well I hope that one day you will. Sometimes the will for self-preservation can isolate you, leaving you lonely and secluded. Friends are always there to help cheer you up, and give you a kick in the backside when you need to get your act together. Sure, they have their faults, but doesn't everyone? If you don't try, then how can you know?" He smirked, before placing his hands on her shoulders and leaning down to whisper in her ear.
"Magic." His voice was husky, and Hermione fought back a shudder as her heart stuttered.
That was when she knew.
Over time they'd spoken more, and gradually gotten closer, but it was a very slow process. In the meantime Hermione's feelings had not abated one little bit. In fact, they'd only intensified and made it difficult for her to approach him as she once did. Maybe he'd noticed.
A tiny part of her hoped that he had. It made it clearer as to why he'd come searching for her after leaving the party. Maybe he wanted to ask her why. But there wasn't much talking going on... perhaps he couldn't think of how to approach the subject?
"Did you know that you mouth your half of the conversation whilst you're reminiscing?" Hermione gaped at him and blushed, the red spanning from her face down the front of her dress.
"And you discovered this fact, how?" he chuckled again, only this time his voice was deeper, rougher.
"Whilst you were thinking I brightened my wand gradually, wondering why you were so silent even though your lips were moving. Then I saw the glassy look in your eyes and realised that you weren't in the room with me." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Oh, real mature." she smiled.
"Well, we can't all be as stoic and grown-up as you now, can we? Sometimes you're too serious for your own good." Theo smirked.
"I'll just have to prove you wrong then won't I?" Hermione didn't have time to think about what he could be planning before the arm around her shoulders slid quickly down to her side and began to tickle it. She jumped with a shriek of laughter, and only succeeded in pressing herself closer to him. He however, merely continued to tickle her, watching her with a devious smile.
After a while Hermione managed to gasp out that her sides hurt from laughing when he stopped her. It was only then that Hermione realised what sort of predicament they'd gotten themselves into.
He had leaned over to get better access of her sides, and in doing so had half sprawled across her, effectively pinning her legs beneath his. She had just about remained slouching (as opposed to laying on the floor) which brought their faces rather close together. She stopped laughing. They both paused, breathing in the other's air, Hermione shivering again. Theo raised an eyebrow, but it was she who spoke.
"Maybe that was a bad idea..?" his smile grew wider, and he leaned down to whisper to her,
"Au contraire my dear Granger, I do believe that was the best idea I've had all evening."
And with that he ducked his head down and kissed her.
It was chaste and unhurried, which was good for Hermione for she could only stare at him for a while, eyes wide open in shock. His eyelids fluttered closed, kissing her harder. Leaning all of his weight on one hand, he let out a quiet groan before cupping her cheek and bringing her face closer to his. Their noses bumped together slightly, and finally Hermione reacted. Bringing both hands up, she slid one around the back of his neck – tangling it within his hair – and the other caressing his cheek lightly.
They leisurely explored each others lips for a while, before Hermione took the initiative and slowly drew her tongue out to meet his. He groaned again, a little louder and huskier, before realigning their faces and going in for the kill.
Hermione felt a slow build up of heat throughout her body, far different from the fast-paced lust that normally soared through her. Her body was singing in triumph as his hand drifted to her neck, then her collar, and slowly down her waist. He released her lips with a rush of air and took his time to kiss a path along her jaw and down her neck.
She moaned. He startled.
"Fuck!"
Theo's other arm gave out and they both fell to the floor. He brought his head up to look her in the eyes... well, what little he could see of them now that his wand had been sent rolling along the floor during the tickle fight. Hermione stared up at him. She burst out laughing. He looked confused.
"Don't worry," she reassured him, "I'm not laughing at you. That was just a hell of a way of showing that you're not always serious." He still looked confused. Belatedly, Hermione realised how that must have sounded,
"No! Wait.. I meant – well I meant that sometimes you come across as not a human, but like an ice-sculpture, emotionless and unfeeling, but that was the perfect way to prove that... well –" She was cut off as he kissed her again, a little rougher this time. Hermione could feel the slow burn seep through her pores, feel the material of his shirt brush against her arms, the passion he brought to the kiss. She could only moan and pour everything she had into the kiss.
She yelped in surprise when he rolled them over, mumbling something about the floor being too uncomfortable for her, and she smiled before letting her hands dance over his chest and teasingly toy with the first button of his shirt. She saw his larynx bob up and down as he swallowed audibly.
"I, Granger -" She made a questioning noise. "I – Merlin. Undo it, please." his voice was darker, thicker. Hermione was helpless to resist the softly spoken command.
It didn't mean that she wouldn't take her time though.
By the time she had finished unbuttoning it he was resting on the weight of one hand again, sitting up slightly, using the other to whisper along her spine through the dress. Hermione bit her lip and shuddered, eyes closing. He kissed her forehead as she ran her hands experimentally along his chest. He hissed in appreciation, and she could feel his muscles bunching up underneath her fingers, his hand curling around her hip possessively. As he kissed her again he sat more upright, leaving his other hand free. He traced a pattern across her collarbone before drifting it down lowly to the side of her breast. She moaned into his mouth, fingernails lightly scraping his chest. He bucked his hips in response, and Hermione could feel him pressing against her, hard and ready. She brought her hand to the front of her dress, and pushed it down, slowly revealing her skin inch by inch. She felt his cock twitch, his breathing just that little faster and heavier.
As he palmed her naked breast (for she was wearing no bra) his fingertips deftly flicked her nipple, bringing it to attention. She moaned again, louder this time, and he groaned with her, unable to stop watching the contrast between his lightly tanned skin and her paler shade. Hermione flushed again, darker this time. Theo brushed his lips against her ear, kissing and licking the shell.
"Fuck, you've no idea how long I've imagined this, fantasised about it, wanted it to happen. You're exquisite Hermione, you fit perfectly into my hand. Feel me..." She ground against him, igniting. Unable to stand the slow torture any more, she decided to take action.
Kissing him fiercely they both toppled to the ground again, and Hermione shifted herself so that she was straddling him, and ground herself against him again, harder and faster. He threw his head back and moaned, hand squeezing her breast, which only cause her to move faster. He was practically panting by this point, as was she. He felt small beads of perspiration trickle down his back with the effort he was taking to hold back, but Hermione didn't want that. She ran her other hand down so it was between them and palmed his cock through his trousers. He jerked, swearing loudly.
"Merlin Granger, I knew this would be amazing, you would be amazing." His eyes were squeezed shut. She continued to caress him through his trousers, moaning as her hand accidentally rubbed against herself in the process. She could only whimper out her reply.
"Me too. God, Theo, please." Her hand began to move faster, speeding everything up in the process. Theo sat up and latched his mouth onto her other breast, curling his tongue around, and when he gently nibbled Hermione lost all sense of control. Her hand was moving furiously, her body was on fire, flames dancing across her skin. The heat continued to flow into her bloodstream wherever he was touching her, which happened to be her outer thigh at the moment.
He slid her dress up her legs as he went, thumb moving in circles on her already sensitive flesh. She cried out in ecstasy as his fingers quickly pulled aside her knickers and ran across her nether lips, causing him to grind against her.
She was about to open his trousers to slide her hand in when he started to ease off his touches, slowly pulled his mouth away from her breast, tugging at the nipple slightly with his teeth before releasing it fully and took hold of her hips, grinding them to a halt. She made a noise of frustration, but he held a hand up to her mouth, silencing her.
"Hush, let me explain. You have no idea how much I have craved this moment, but I don't think that this is either the right place or time for it." she looked at him incredulously, so he continued. "If we hadn't of stopped then, then I wouldn't have stopped at all. And trust me, this was not how I envisioned our first time. I want it to be unbelievably special."
A look of understanding dawned onto Hermione's face.
"I'm sorry, I just got carried away, I just –" He silenced her with a kiss, being sure to keep it short and sweet this time. He entwined his fingers with hers, raising an eyebrow.
"Now what did I say about apologising?"
Hermione laughed. At least one aspect of her life was back on track.
Finito.
05/11/10