telephone

ten Sam/Freddie "hellos" and "goodbyes"

one. "hello, hello, baby, you called? I can't hear a thing,"

" Hello? Sam? Sam!" Freddie yelled into the phone.

"Yeah, hello," Sam said drowsily. "You called?"

Face beet red, he asked as calmly as possible, "Where have you been?"

"Like that's any of your business," Sam growled. "All you gotta know is that I've got no service…wherever I am."

Freddie sighed. "You're not at Carly's?"

"Nope," Sam made sure to pop the 'p' for extra measure. "You're gonna have to come find me, Fredweird. And trust me, it won't be easy. But I'll give you three hints- there's no service cause they have these things out in the middle of nowhere sometimes, I'm freakin' freezing cold, and there's two numbers that rhyme."

"It's pretty obvious, actually," Freddie snickered. "I know where you are, I'll be there in five. And by the way, Sam- if you want to be cool, don't spend all of your time hanging out in Seven-Elevens. I'm pretty sure that those aren't cool hangouts."

two. "every time I want to say hello"

"Hello?" Sam said nervously. According to Carly, she was speaking on the phone with someone she was 'meant to be' with.

"Hey," replied a deep voice. "Who is this?"

"Sam Puckett," She told the person on the other line with the utmost of her confidence. "And this is?"

Laughing, the person on the other end informed her, "I'm going to murder Carly."

"WHO IS THIS?" Sam roared.

"Freddie," He laughed. "Carly's trying to set us up, again."

Sam started to crack up too. "When is she going to realize that it's never gonna work? We always find out something's up before she gets to the supposed 'climax' of her plots. She should be a mystery writer or something."

"Author," Freddie corrected. "It's author, not writer."

Sam rolled her eyes, even though Freddie couldn't see her. "Who cares? Anyway, you up for smoothies?"

"When am I not?" Freddie replied. "Meet ya there in fifteen minutes."

"Gotcha," Sam hung up, leaving the dial tone to ring in Carly Shay's ears. She sighed. When were those two finally going to realize that they were perfect together?

three. "is anybody out there? hello, alone!"

The cold winter wind whipped Sam Puckett's golden curls around. Something vibrated in her pocket, and she quickly pulled it out.

"Hello?" Sam answered.

"Are you alone?" The dork was too obvious with his pranks.

Sam scowled. "Alone. But I don't think it would matter to you, dork."

Someone guffawed in the background, and Sam figured it was probably Gibby. "BUSTED!"

Freddie sighed. "Come on, Sam, I was just trying to cheer you up by giving you a harmless prank call."

"And making me think I was going to die? That's gonna cheer me up? You two are such losers," She hissed.

Groaning, Freddie told her, "Sam, I miss you. Not this cold version of you. The one that would murder me if I ever tried to pull something like this. The one that existed before that stupid loser broke your heart. I always knew he wasn't good enough for you."

"Maybe I'm saying hello to a new Sam," Sam informed him gruffly. "Maybe the old Sam will never be good enough for anyone, so I've decided to change."

"Sam-" Freddie began, but Sam cut him off once again. "I gotta go, see you later, dork."

That was the only thing that hadn't changed about her, she still called him dork. Freddie sighed into the bleak phone. "The old Sam was plenty good enough for me."

Too bad she couldn't hear it.

Hello, alone.

four. "hello seattle, I am a cold seahorse…"

"Hello?" Freddie answered his phone one day during an intense study session.

Sam Puckett was on the other end. "Hello, Seattle, guess where I am?"

The older by one month boy listened intently for a few seconds. Water splashing, people yelling, something about suntan lotion, waves- "You're at the beach?"

"Ding, ding, ding, we have ourselves a winner!" Sam announced. "So how about it, Benson, put those study materials down and join me out here for a day of fun!"

"Glad to hear you're sounding like yourself again," Freddie said happily. "And I'd sure love to come, but I have SATs on Monday, and they're super important-"

"Freddork," Sam groaned, and Freddie could tell she was shaking her head. "Freddork, Freddork, Freddork. What's the point of life if you spend your whole life studying, preparing for the next level of life, and you never have any fun?"

"That was pretty deep for you, Puckett," Freddie retorted.

"So you'll meet me here in twenty minutes," Sam picked out of nowhere. "That sounds great, dude. All right, good. See ya, bye!" She hung up.

Freddie sighed, and began packing up his books. Looks like he was headed to the beach for the day.

five. "hey, you, did you turn up the heat?"

"Hey," Sam called into her phone.

" Hey, Sam." Freddie rolled his eyes, knowing Sam would hate it. "Why did you call me if we're across the room from each other?"

"Cause I felt like it, Benson," She retorted, giving him the worst comeback in her repertoire. "Why is the sky blue?"

"Because of-" Freddie began, having prepared an entire lecture on this subject.

Sam cut him off. "Never mind, I don't wanna hear it. But don't ya think this party's too crowded, and the music's too loud, and-"

"Did you call me just to complain about the party?" Freddie inquired. "Cause I can hang up, you know."

"No, let's dance!" Sam yelled.

Freddie gave in immediately, not wanting to get dragged across the floor by his female best friend. "All right. We meet in the middle, kay?"

"Got it!" Sam was probably already halfway there.

Slowly, Freddie pushed his way to the center and located the blonde. Suddenly, the song switched. "This is a slow song, Sam."

"I know," She grinned. "Do you mind? Are you too chicken to slow dance with the Puckett-inator?"

"Of course not," He grinned, and wrapped her just-a-little-bit closer to him.

six. "hello, my friend, I remember when you were so alive with your wide eyes to the sky…"

"Hello, Sam?" Freddie called her that night.

She sighed sadly into the phone. "Who is this?"

"Who do you think? It's Freddie, your best friend who is concerned about you," Freddie replied immediately. "What's going on with you? Why do you sound so sad?"

"I'm sorry," Sam groaned. "It's just…I found out that the brown-haired guy? Jared, you know? He's been cheating on me with the volleyball captain, Leah. He was playing us well, too- neither of us had any idea."

"Aw, man, Sam, I'm sorry," Freddie offered. "That sucks. You can't even call the other girl a skunkbag, she's just as innocent as you. Guess the only one who's left to blame is Jared himself."

"Or me," Sam told him.

Freddie shook his head violently, but upon remembering she couldn't see him, he yelled into the phone, "No, no, no! Don't blame yourself, Sam, this wasn't your fault in any way."

"It was, Freddork," Sam sighed. "I'll always be second, to everyone. I'll always be second place in everyone's lives. Even yours."

"Not mine, Sam," Freddie argued.

"Carly's first place, remember? I'm just your annoying bickering sidekick," Sam growled. "Well, I'm going to sleep now. Don't call again."

seven. "and I know that I should say goodbye, but it's no use…"

He called again.

It's 3 AM and he couldn't sleep, he was so worried about her. So he just called her voicemail over and over, repeatedly, and every time he just got the same message : "Goodbye, people, I can't talk right now. I'm too busy eating ham and thinking about how stupid that loser skunkbag is. So, just don't call again. I have nothing to say to any of you."

He had something to say to her, all right, but apparently (according to her) she had nothing to say to him (which wasn't true, they both had plenty to say, he was sure).

As far as he knew, he fell asleep somewhere around 5 AM (after calling her voicemail for the fourteenth time).

She didn't call him back.

He didn't expect her to.

And when her voicemail picked up again, he just left a simple message: "I was going to say goodbye, but it'll probably be no use and mean nothing to you, so I'll just leave you with this- bye, Sam. You're my best friend, and you're not second to Carly. Just thought you should know. Goodbye."

eight. "goodbye humans, goodbye earth"

"Hey," Sam said nonchalantly as soon as he answered the phone (which was on the first ring).

"SAM!" He roared into the phone. "You've finally decided to pick up?"

"Yeah, I have," She told him in amusement. "On what? Your twenty-first call?"

"I care about you, Sam," replied the boy with no hint of joking in his voice. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

A wave of emotion overwhelmed her- she'd never had anyone tell her that before. But rather than tell him this, she just told him, "Thanks, I guess. So I've decided to become an astronaut."

"Why?" Freddie asked, the amusement back in his voice.

"I guess that if I can't find my dream guy on this planet, maybe he's an alien on another planet," Sam grinned. "You know, the whole goodbye, humans, goodbye, earth! I'll be the first to sustain life on another planet."

"How do you even know what the word sustain means?" Freddie inquired.

Sam was a little offended. "Um, excuse me! I know some scientific-ish words, I just normally choose not to use them."

"Sure," Freddie laughed.

Still offended, Sam told him, "Well, goodbye, human!" and hung up the phone.

nine. "farewell, powdery paradise…"

"Hey, it's snowing!" Sam yelled into her phone. She'd called Freddie as soon as she'd woken up that morning and seen the snowflakes raining down from the sky.

"Hello to you too, Sam, and I see that," Freddie replied politely, having little excitement in his voice- well, it was basically impossible to have as much excitement as she did.

"I can't wait to go outside and play in it," Sam shrieked like a little kid.

"Yeah, me too," Freddie told her, laughing a bit- it was funny how excited she got. "But, Sam, the newscaster said it wouldn't last too long. It will only be there for a few hours at most."

"Don't care!" Sam screamed. "I'll call you back later, after the snow has all melted."

"Bye," Freddie was still snickering a bit.

Two hours later

"Hey, Freddie," said Sam mournfully. "Can you believe that all the snow has already melted?"

"I told you it would," Freddie reminded her.

Sam scowled. "Don't be a know it all, Fredward."

"I'm not," Freddie sighed. "Well, I guess there's only one thing left to say. Farewell."

"Farewell? Only dorks say farewell," Sam informed him through guffaws. "But if you can say it, then I'll show my confidence in my non-dorkiness. Farewell….powdery paradise."

"Powdery paradise is even more dorky," he objected.

ten. "don't say goodbye, cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight"

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow," her voice was clouded, murky, which it hardly ever was.

"Me neither," Freddie sighed into his receiver. "Promise you'll call, write, something."

"I'll try," She promised clearly. "I'll try my best, I promise."

It was silent on both ends of the phone line for a second. Freddie was the first to break it. "I hate saying goodbye."

"Me too," She agreed. "I wish we didn't have to say goodbye."

Freddie nodded, remembering again that she couldn't see him. "Yeah, I know. Sadly, it's a part of life…"

"We all say goodbye sometimes," Sam repeated in a goofy voice. "Geez, Benson, you sound like a creepy school counselor."

"I'm gonna miss your interesting sense of humor," He told her.

"I'm gonna miss your dorkiness," She told him. "You know, there aren't many in the world like you."

"Thanks," He said, a bit touched.

Sam was quiet for a second, before she finally spoke. "Hey, thanks for being there this year, for all those times on the phone when you tried to help me- don't tell anyone this, especially Carly cause she'll go all insane like a fangirl, but you're a pretty awesome friend and a great guy."

"Thanks," He repeated, happy. "You're terrific too, Sam, and don't you ever forget that. Don't let some guy tell you otherwise."

It was silent again. Sam spoke. "So, we'll be over at 1 to….say goodbye for the final time?"

"Okay," He agreed. Then he said, "Goodbye."

"Bye," She replied.

The line went dead.

FIN

A/N: Wow, 3 updates in one day? Insane! Must be because I only had a half day today :D

Review, please? I know it was random and made no sense…

And don't crack on my music! I only chose Demi Lovato as a last resort, and because that song is one of the only Disney songs that are semi-decent (and I mean Disney as in Selena, Demi, Miley, Hannah…)

So, review?