Sometimes in the 11th… (A Discussion About Little Girls)

Hello, all. This will (hopefully) become a series of silly shorts focusing on the Bleach characters from the 11th Division of the Gotei 13 – both characterized by their Awesome Creator (who is, most notably, not me), and spooned out of my brain for convenience' sake.

Today, we learn that sometimes, it's just hard to find a little bit of understanding in the 11th.

Sometimes, it's hard finding a sympathetic ear within the confines of a division solely devoted to brutal combat. Sometimes, being so short that you only reach the counter tops with your arms raised up and your toes beginning to cramp was not ideal. Sometimes, having pink hair and a perpetual rosy flush on your chubby, little cheeks didn't help to make sure business-related matters were conducted seriously. Sometimes, it was hard to find someone in the 11th Division who understood what it was like for little girls. And sometimes… well, there was nothing left to do but cry about it.

That's why, sometimes, Ayasegawa Yumichika found himself stretched out on a swinging bench in the rear courtyard of the 13th Division's rather serene quarters.

The bench was as far away from the Zen aesthetic that permeated Seireitei like a heavy fog as you could get, but the ailing captain of the 13th Division found it to be a peaceful pastime; swinging back and forth, allowing the gentle motion, the subtle "creak" of the hinges, and the soft "chink" of its chains lull you into a dream-like state of semi-awareness.

… When there weren't any hornet's nests glued to the underside of the canopy draped over it, at least.

Thankfully, it was early Autumn and they had suffered a wicked cold snap during the past two weeks, clearing out any hint of Summer swarms of insects.

So, there he lay, propped up on a pillow one of the oh-so-very-helpful (and fearful) lesser members of the friendly Ukitake's division had lent him. He held in his arms… his vice captain.

Yachiru, so tiny that she could barely wrap her arms around their captain's neck, was sound asleep now, breathing snot bubbles into Yumichika's collar and huffing through her congested sinuses. The cricket of a little girl hadn't said anything of substance, only blurted half-sentences and partial words to go with her lachrymose fit. In fact, Yumichika didn't think so young a critter could probably summon the words to go with her frustrations.

Not like Yumichika. Oh, no, Yumichika could write essays about his current complaints. You see; it was Hisagi's fault – all of it. That damned quasi-captain, editor of that silly Shinigami publication was proving difficult to control after their fateful encounter. Or, at least Yumichika thought it was fateful. What else do you call it when a 5th seat officer topples a vice captain? Granted, he had done it in a deceitful manner, but an officer as highly ranked as Hisagi should have known better than to trust the conventions of a sub-culture fashioned by a murderous thug. Particularly when his opponent, being a well-respected member of said Murderous Thug's outfit, wore dyed feathers to ornament his (naturally) violet eyes. Let it keep him on his toes! Yumichika was simply doing his duty as an under-officer to remind Hisagi-san of the precarious nature of his position. Yes, that was it.

So, really, there was no reason whatsoever for the man – ordinarily so polite! – to turn down Yumichika's proposal for a fashion advice column in his paper. It was clearly an attempt to strike back at Yumichika, the ever-fashionable servant of righteous beauty, with his finger on the very pulse of Artful Style.

"Thank You, Ayasegawa-san, your ideas are very forward-thinking, and would certainly go a long way toward adding color to our usual paper," Yumichika recited in a snide, nasal tone that sounded absolutely nothing like Hisagi Shuuhei.

"However, with our present war preparations, and the restriction of paper resources we must adhere to, I'm afraid your proposal will have to wait to be reconsidered until we actually win this damn thing. (Let's do our best, eh?)," Yumichika snorted into Yachiru's damp hair. It was so obvious! Hisagi was being as underhanded as he must have interpreted Yumichika had been when he unleashed Ruri'Iro Kujaku on the clueless man… except Yumichika hadn't been acting dishonorably at all. We have already established that he was doing the man a favor!

Yumichika frowned (it was the very image of pensive beauty). What was that? A single trail of tears wound its way down the side of his face, falling drop-by-drop into his silken hair.

Sometimes, Yachiru had to cry, and it was times like those that the few men brave enough found themselves escorting the tiny beast to Ayasegawa Yumichika. After all, this was the 11th Division of the Gotei 13, a unit solely devoted to brutal, physical combat, and there weren't very many sympathetic ears to be found.

That is, sometimes, Yachiru had to cry, and there was only one other soul in the 11th Division who understood what it was like to be a little girl.

You bet, I just called Yumichika a little girl.

I'm going to have fun with these. Obviously, since there are only a few notable, canon-developed characters in the 11th Division, this series will mostly center around those few dudes (and the dudette), with a heavy peppering of cameos from other divisions. I try for humor, but I know not everyone follows my drift - and I don't blame you; I confuse (and occasionally contuse) myself often enough. But, maybe if we stick together we can figure some things out.

Next Time on Sometimes In The 11th... : Secrets of Seireitei, or, "Things 10th Division Captain, Hitsugaya Toshirou, Never Wanted To Know About Living Next Door To The Dregs Of Society". It's about the 11th Division, so it counts!

Ta-ta!