Author's Note: As I promised, I will write a story to compensate for the other fic I didn't finished. I hope you like this one. I will try to update this everyday so, I know it will sound selfish but, I will expect for reviews, positive feed back and suggestions. I missed writing! Hope you'll enjoy! :)

Warning: Not betaread so I apologize for the grammar mistakes. Again, English was not my first language. You can pick up my errors but please do it in a kind way. I will also appreciate it if someone in this site will volunteer to be my beta-reader. :)

Disclaimer: Nodame Cantabile is not mine. :)

DAMNED

I'm pretty sure it was already late morning. I opened my eyes only to be blinded by the soaring sun, almost so bright and hot. Nonetheless I opened them trying to adjust my sight. I never woke up this late.

I heard some pounding sound close to my ears, only to realize that it was my own head, pounding because of headache.

Headache? Oh yeah… Hangover.

I vaguely remembered what had happened but there are images playing in my mind. The Roux-Marlet playing a beautiful Brahm piece, a concerto? Nodame playing Beethoven, Chopin and Debussy's Claire de Lune, a recital? Tanya and Kuroki with me and Nodame, we were drinking a lot. I wonder what we are drinking for, maybe for a celebration.

I put a hand over my head and space off trying to put the images together and it dawned to me.

Right.

A concerto with Roux-Marlet and exactly after that, Nodame's recital in one of those prestigious hotels in Paris. I came late of course but the mongoose woman was still happy even though I only saw and hear half of her performance. That fact is something she needed not to know of.

We went to a club to celebrate because the woman said it was the greatest performance she had so far. Really, she has more potential and whatever achievement she had that night will be nothing when the time comes. She has so much talent in her only if she just pays attention and concentrate on it.

We drink, a lot, I think. After that, the only thing I remembered is the sound of giggling, gasping and moans. Then a pair of smooth legs and the contour of ones shoulder came to view, bare lily white shoulders and a faint scent of vanilla frost and lavender.

Wait… what?

Bare lily white shoulders and a mixture of vanilla and lavender scent? Nobody I know in Paris has that kind of complexion and scent unless… it was… Nodame?

Shit!

I nearly jump at the realization but a body hovering slightly over me kept me from doing so.

SHIT!

Behold, Nodame's naked sleeping form!

The realization streaked me like cold water waking me from my trance and making me ignore all of the aches I am currently feeling because of the bad hangover.

That realization was not yet sinking deep when I remembered something that made me shake all through my insides and limbs.

I search through the sheets not even bothering if she will wake up, after all, she was a heavy sleeper.

I turn over all the blankets my hands can get ignoring the just-realized fact that I have nothing on but my own skin and the nudeness of the woman soundly sleeping beside me.

It didn't take time for me to find what I am searching for because it was clearly visible on the white sheets. There it is, spots.

Tiny brown spots scattered in some part of the sheets. Dried blood spots from yesterday's night where she bled from our deed.

FUCK!

Now I remembered that I just don't have memories of giggling, gasping and moaning sounds but also cries and sobs.

God, how did it come to this?

I have dreams, big dreams and I am determined to make it all come true no matter what it takes and no matter what or who I lose as long as it is not important.

The mongoose woman, Nodame is not not important but also not that important. I have to admit that the woman was close to me. I might even consider her as more than a best friend to me but that's it. Any romantics feelings for her, if there are any, will not be entertained. My career is my priority and I don't have the pleasure and the time to drag something so dragging along the way.

But this happening is too much for any of my expectations, as a matter of fact, I don't see this coming along, but this, this is happening.

This isn't happening…

I don't want her to think that I should take responsibility for what had happened. Unfortunately, I know that no matter how unorganized she was, she was the most decent of the entire woman I had relationship with, if 'relationship' is what you called to what we have. I just know that she just didn't give her whole being to someone she had relationship with unless she loves her truly. And did she love me truly? Flattering but knowing her, she wants that amount of love she gives to the amount of love she must receive, and that is where the problem is.

I am not sure of my feeling for her or anything and I don't want responsibilities in any romantic fields.

Cruel as it sounds but, I hope she was as drunk as me that night and mistakenly give herself to me making me escape with no cost, but if not, that's when I can say, I am so damned.

So 838 words.. Wow.. I made it longer contrary to what I like, shorter. Hehehe.. But I hope I can have feed back.. Just press the button down there.. Hehehe.. review okay? I'll update tomorrow.. Ja ne! xD