Author's Note: This is a completely different writing style then I typically use. The chapters will be short, but I'll update at least every few days. All I ask is that you give it a chance before bashing it.

I DO NOT OWN THE VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.

Chapter One:

I feel so out of control. I can't understand anything that's going on with me. I feel like I'm drowning in my life and I can't stop it or save myself. I don't want to be dependent on someone else, when it feels like I don't have anyone that can help. Everything just feels so fucking hopeless. I can't get this to stop.

When will the pain go away? I can't remember ever being this messed up. I don't want to pawn my problems off on other people, especially when I don't know what my problems are. Whatever it is, I can feel it eating away at me, slowly, just picking at me, one piece at a time. I'm losing it. I can't keep doing this. It hurts too much. I can never escape the pain. All I have to do is lie with a smile and say that everything is fine, because that's all people actually want to hear. They don't want the gritty details of someone suffering.

I just want to let the pain out and be done with it. But, it's hidden from me. I can't feel it. When I'm not hurting, I'm numb. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm supposed to be stronger. I'm supposed to be able to handle my life. I'm not even strong enough to do that. I was never strong. I'm not good enough for anything, especially happiness. I don't deserve it. Fitting, because I never seen to have much. I tried so hard to live up to the expectations. No matter how hard I try, I always fall short.

Show me what to do. I'm flying blind, with nothing. I don't know which way is up anymore. I need something. I can't keep doing this by myself, but options are there? How do I stop myself from crumbling when I have no rock? I watch bits of myself fall away. The essence continues to leave me; soon I'll have nothing left.

Author's Note: reviews please. I want your guys' thoughts on this. Damon will be in future chapters.

Xo Xo,
Anneryn