Inspector Gadget: The Pilot

Inspector Gadget and all related characters and setting are owned by Cookie Jar Entertainment. DiC now remains an in-credit name only.

Chapter Eight: Gun Safety

"Uncle Gadget, I just pulled a bullet out of the wall!" Penny exclaimed as she showed him the spent projectile.

"Hm," Gadget took the bullet and examined it with the aid of a magnifying glass held by a mechanical hand that extended out from the crown of his hat. "Are you sure that this wasn't left by some careless hunter last season?"

"Uncle Gadget, those holes weren't in the wall when we got here," Penny put her hands on her hips and frowned. "I've called Chief Quimby and asked for a police escort. We've got to get out of here!"

"Personally I think that you're being an alarmist, but I'm going to look around just in case," Gadget decided. "Pull the curtains, and then stay away from the windows. I'll let you know when I get back." With that, the bionic inspector turned and left the cabin.

"You better follow him Brain," Penny decided. "I think that he may need help!"

Nearby, Stiletto, Rocky and Hunk emerged from the forest to study the cabin. "Are you sure that's it?" the short and bald Stiletto asked the taller and slimmer Rocky.

"Positive," Rocky nodded as he pointed at the disguised Gadgetmobile. "See? Even when it's this dark you can still see his van!"

"Okay, here's what we'll do; we'll wait until he's asleep and then…" Stiletto was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Excuse me!" Inspector Gadget said as he walked right up to them. "Are you guys my backup?"

"B-b-backup?" a shaking Rocky asked as Stiletto and Hunk turned away and drew their collars up to hide their faces.

"Yes," Gadget nodded. "Penny told me that she called Chief Quimby for a police escort to take us out of here. That's you guys, right?"

"Yuh-yuh-yes!" Rocky stammered and nodded. "That's us! We're your backup! Any problems so far?"

"My niece thinks that someone has been shooting at us," Gadget cupped his hand and spoke in a conspiratory whisper. "She's only eight and probably seeing things, but with my niece I just can't take the chance, you know what I'm saying?" When Rocky nodded, Gadget continued. "Follow me inside, and I'll pack up and fill you in. My niece pulled a bullet out of the wall that I think you should look at… Hold it! Don't turn around! Look over your shoulder slowly… Do you see that little guy?"

Rocky looked behind him. Hiding behind some bushes was a little man in a hunter's hat and a fur coat. The strange little man had a long snout that reminded Rocky of a dog.

"Is he with you?" Gadget asked.

Rocky shook his head. "Nope."

"Looks like Penny was right," Gadget nodded grimly. "We are being watched after all. Okay let's get inside! Try not to act to suspicious and he won't realize he's been spotted. If we're in luck he's alone. Come on."

Before Brain's disbelieving eyes, Gadget was leading the three MAD agents into the cabin! Quickly, the dog shed his disguise so he could run on all fours. He cut around the back and jumped through a window so he could warn Penny.

"Brain!" Penny gasped. "You scared me! Why aren't you watching Uncle Gadget?"

"Bow wow!" Brain gestured wildly. "Ruff ruff!"

"Slow down, Brain, I can't understand you!" Penny implored him. "What's wrong? Are we in trouble?"

"Penny!" Gadget's voice called as he and the three MAD agents entered through the front door. "Pack your things, the cavalry's arrived! I must say that those hunter disguises you're wearing are really convincing! But it's the high-powered rifle that really sells it."

"What?" Penny looked at the frantically gesturing Brain. "We're surrounded by MAD agents? We've got to do something!" Penny looked into the cabin's main room to see her Uncle standing in front of the three assassins who tried to kill him back at his apartment. They were smiling and pointing pistols at his back. "Oh no!"

Heedless of her own safety, she dashed into the front room and pulled the top button on Inspector Gadget's coat. She quickly retreated back into the kitchen when Gadget's coat expanded so much it filled up the whole room. Stiletto, Hunk, and Rocky gasped for breath as the rubbery grey blob pushed them against the walls. Their arms were pinned to the wall so they couldn't even free themselves with their guns.

"Penny, why did you do that for?" an irritated Gadget asked her. "Are you crazy? We spotted a MAD agent skulking around outside!"

"He's not outside, you let him inside, Uncle Gadget!" Penny corrected. "When you came in you let in the three guys who tried to kill us!"

"But Penny, they're our backup…" Gadget began before he frowned in thought. "For crying out loud! I don't believe it! Don't tell me that the MAD agents snuck in here posing as our backup!"

"The MAD agents snuck in here by posing as our backup, Uncle Gadget," Penny informed him.

"I asked you not to tell me that!" growled an irritated inspector. He sighed in humiliation. "Are you sure? You could just be paranoid, you know…"

"Uncle Gadget, the one trapped behind your left armpit is Louis Stiletto," Penny insisted. "I'd recognize that face anywhere!"

"Okay, I'll see for myself," Gadget said as his now chubby hand reached for the activating button on his trenchcoat. Brain pulled the string and the trenchcoat deflated, freeing the MAD agents. Gadget turned and faced them. "Is it true?" he asked the sinister trio. "Are you really MAD agents?"

"Yeah it's true," Stiletto growled. "What's the matter with you? You'd have to be blind as a bat to not recognize us!"

Gadget's eyes bulged in realization. "Well, uh… It was dark out there!" he insisted childishly. "I couldn't see! In the meantime, put your hands up! You're under arrest!" Gadget reached into his coat pocket to pull out… nothing!

"Looking for this?" Rocky smiled as he held up Gadget's archaic .38 police special. "Not only am I a good sniper, I'm also a decent pickpocket."

"Put 'em up, Gadget!" Stiletto grinned as he and his fellows pointed their pistols at him. "We've got you covered."

"So you think you've got the drop on me, eh?" Gadget asked smugly. "Well I've got news for you guys! My niece has already called Chief Quimby. At this very moment, this cabin is being surrounded by over fifty policemen armed with rifles and accompanied by the most vicious police dogs on the force! Would you believe it? Fifty Policemen!"

"I find that hard to believe," Rocky shook his head skeptically. "You thought we were your backup."

"How about twenty policemen with attack dogs?" Gadget tried weakly.

"Duh… I don't think so," said the tall and burly Hunk.

"Ten policemen?" Gadget offered. "Eight? Five? How about a boy scout and a really sick poodle?"

"Put your hands up, Gadget!" Stiletto growled. "We've got you, and you're completely unarmed!"

"Not completely unarmed gentlemen," Gadget smiled coyly. "As a matter of fact, I suggest that the three of you duck. Go-go Gadget laser!"

As the three MAD agents dropped to the floor a beam of energy emerged from Gadget's index finger and burnt a smoking line into the wall behind them. The three hired guns staggered to their feet and studied the wall behind them.

"Uh-oh," Hunk groaned.

"Now who's got the drop on who, gentlemen?" Gadget sneered. "Okay, you mugs. Drop your pistols on the floor or the three of you will find out what burnt flesh smells like."

"Do as he says," Stiletto stammered. Simultaneously the three assassins threw their guns at their feet, and simultaneously three gunshots went off…

"Wowsers!" Gadget had instinctively put his arm before his face to protect himself but now he opened his eyes and lowered his arm to keep track of the killers. "You've got to be careful! If you don't keep the safety on you might…"

The three killers were lying on the floor on top of each other.

"You… idiot!" Stiletto growled. "You… got… me!"

"I didn't get you," Hunk corrected as his strength drained out of him. "It was Rocky's gun! You got me! I got Rocky!"

"No," Rocky gasped in pain. "It was Stiletto's gun that got me, Hunk. My gun shot you and you shot Stiletto!"

"I saw everything," Gadget smiled. "Stiletto's pistol shot Hunk, and Hunk's gun got Rocky, and Rocky's gun hit…"

"I don't think they can hear you, Uncle Gadget," Penny said grimly. The three assassins were quite still. "Oh Uncle Gadget, how horrible!" the little girl hugged her uncle. "When they dropped their guns they accidently shot each other!"

"Yes Penny," her uncle nodded sagely. "How ironic that hired gunmen should know so little about guns! Let this be a lesson to you…"

At that moment the door burst open and Chief Quimby entered, followed by a pair of state troopers. "Gadget!" gasped the relieved police chief. "You're safe! We heard shots!" He stared at the three dead MAD agents. "What happened? Did you do this?"

"Actually Chief they did it to each other," Gadget shrugged. "If you collect their guns, forensics will prove that my gun is the only one that wasn't fired. When I ordered them to throw down their guns they went off."

"That's terrible luck," Quimby sighed. "Stiletto knew all about Doctor Claw's operation here in Metro City. That means that Claw has slipped through our once fingers again. Oh well, the important thing is that you and your niece are safe, Gadget!"

"Looks like it," Gadget nodded. "Now that Louis Stiletto is out of the way I guess there's no reason for MAD to go after Penny anymore. She's no threat to them."

"I wouldn't say that," a determined Penny crossed her arms. "As soon as I grow up, I'm enrolling in the police academy!"

Quimby expected the child to be horrified after seeing three deaths right before her eyes, but Penny was made of sterner stuff. Maybe it was the fact that it was her parent's killers that died, or maybe she was just tough. Before he knew it, he was laughing in relief that everything was okay. Gadget, Penny and Brain started laughing too.

In his hidden headquarters, Doctor Claw was gloating. "So… Gadget, you made it this time but only at the cost of silencing the one man who could identify me. The joke's on you. While you were away, my agents installed hidden cameras and listening devices all over your niece's house! You won't be able to make a move without me knowing about it in advance. No need to eliminate you this time, Gadget. I can take my time. I'll get you next time, Gadget… Next time…"

His overweight cat laughed along with him.

The next day, Inspector Gadget was unloading more of his belongings out of the Gadgetvan.

"That was sure something!" Penny declared as she walked up behind him. "I can't believe I saw three men gunned down by their own pistols!"

"It's their own fault," Gadget declared as he set down his suitcases and gave his niece his full attention. "If they would have had the safeties on they would have survived. Let this be a lesson to you Penny! A gun is not a toy!"

"You should never point a gun at someone, even if it's unloaded!" Penny nodded.

"You got that right," Gadget agreed. "Actors have been killed on the set by guns loaded with blanks! If you ever decide to own a gun someday, keep it hidden where children can't find them!"

"Don't shoot a gun into the sky just to make some noise," Penny instructed. "A bullet can travel almost two miles before it comes back down and hits someone!"

"If you want to play with a toy gun, I suggest you use one of the new ones with the orange barrels," Gadget told her. "The toys guns they sold when I was a kid looked real, too real! Some police officer or gangmember might get the wrong idea and shoot first and ask questions later!"

"Maybe it would be safer if we just stayed away from guns," Penny decided. "Unless you're trained for it, owning a gun could be more dangerous for you than to a burglar!"

"Good idea, Penny," Gadget nodded as he pulled his .38 police special out of his trenchcoat. "Now that I've got all these gadgets I don't really need this anymore. I'll put it away so it won't cause any trouble." He walked forward and tripped over the suitcases he had set down earlier. "Whoops!"

"Uncle!" Penny cried as his pistol hit the pavement and went off. "Are you all right?" She asked as Brain ran out to the front yard to see what had happened.

"Yes, but I think that our neighbor's birdbath has seen better days," Gadget said as he looked into the neighbor's yard. He picked up the gun and made sure the safety was on. "Tell you what, I'll turn it in at headquarters the first thing tomorrow; what do you say?"

"I'd say you that when it comes to safety you really stick to your guns," Penny smiled smugly.

"Penny you should be ashamed telling a joke of that caliber!" Gadget laughed as his niece and her dog joined in.

END