Inspector Gadget: The Pilot

Inspector Gadget and all related characters and setting are owned by Cookie Jar Entertainment. DiC now remains an in-credit name only. Star Trek is owned by Paramount, Viacom, and CBS. Snoopy and Peanuts are owned by Peanuts Worldwide. Aliens is own by 20th century Fox.

Chapter One: Dollar, Dollar, and Dollar

Inspector Gadget was five foot eight with an average build. His long face had beady black eyes and his messy black hair had a receding hairline. He wasn't going to win any beauty contests. No one in his family ever did. Therefore, it was always a mystery how his sister managed to marry a blonde Adonis of a man with green eyes. His sister's husband had managed to win three beauty contests when he was in college. That was strange enough, but one of them was for girls! So how had his sister managed to land that guy?

Perhaps it was the fact that they were both super geniuses, he reflected as he visited them as their research lab building. They were working on separate projects in adjoining laboratories. It must be lonely not having anybody who has the slightest idea what you're talking about, Gadget decided. When Gadget visited them he simply smiled, nodded and pretended to understand what they were talking about. Come to think of it, he did that a lot, even when not in the company of super geniuses.

"Hi there, Sylvia," he greeted as he came in the door to the lab. "How's my favorite sister?"

"I'm your only sister Max," she retorted wryly.

"That's why you're my favorite," he shrugged. "How's Penny? Still wowing 'em at school? It can be hard for girl that smart to fit in. I remember how hard it was for you…"

"That's not why I asked you over here," Sylvia interrupted. "I wanted to show you my latest project. The computer book."

"It just looks like a standard laptop to me," he shrugged. "Oh wait! I get it! It looks like an ordinary book on the outside. So this is a book that lets you read things online?"

"No Max," his sister giggled. "This is more sophisticated than any computer, portable or otherwise! It can analyze almost any electronic machine and override its control functions. It can analyze and process data from nearly any source! It's like having a portable crime scene investigation unit combined with a Star Trek tricorder combined with the ultimate remote control!"

"I'm sorry Sis, but you lost me," Gadget smiled ruefully.

"At what part?"

"The part after you said 'No Max,'" the inspector shrugged.

"Max," she giggled, "you never change. Now look. I want to show you my other project. This watch is really something. It looks like an old style digital watch, but it has a two-way communicator with a computer, radio, cutting laser, and an electromagnet!"

"Does it come in men's sizes?" Gadget asked as he picked it up and attempted to place it on his wrist. He pushed a button and his gun slipped out of his gray raincoat to attach itself to the watch. "Wowsers! It's a good thing I didn't activate the laser!" He set it down and a yellow beam of light came out of the device to start burning a hole in the wall. "Sorry about that that Sylvia," he blushed.

Sylvia shut it off leaving a smoking hole in the wall. "Silly me, this is the one I made in Penny's size," she said as she attempted to ignore her brother's clumsiness.

"Penny's size?" Gadget repeated in disbelief. "You made one for your eight-year-old daughter?"

"Well, Nick and both have one," his sister blushed, "but I really designed it for you. As one of Interpol's top agents, you could use a spy gizmo like this."

"Now wait a minute," Gadget corrected her. "Interpol differs from most law-enforcement agencies—we don't make arrests ourselves, and there is no single Interpol jail where criminals are taken. The agency functions as an administrative liaison between the law-enforcement agencies of the member countries, providing communications and an international database collection."

"You're also an inspector with the Metro City Police Department and part of an Interpol incident response team," his sister insisted. "Come on. I know that Interpol keeps a handful of secret agents to combat international crimes and terrorist plots. Nobody is supposed to know it exists, but you told Penny everything, and she spilled the beans."

"I assumed you wouldn't believe a little girl," Gadget blushed. "When I informed her that I was both a police inspector and a secret agent, I never thought anyone would believe me."

"No police inspector gets as many company paid vacations overseas like you do," his sister said.

"I guess I should know better than to try to pull one over on you," Gadget shrugged.

"That, and Chief Quimby asked me to design your new Gadgetmobile," his sister teased. "It was supposed to be a surprise. They'll let you have it after your people finish testing it."

"A new car! Wowzers!" Gadget gushed. He had wrecked three cars this year in the line of duty and was now driving the Volkswagen bug the department called 'the Loaner'.

At that moment an interior door that led into the laboratory of Nick L. Dollar opened. "Gadget!" Sylvia's husband greeted. Sylvia was the only one who called him 'Max.' Even their daughter Penny called him 'Uncle Gadget'. "Come over here!" he said as he opened the door into his adjoining lab. "You won't believe what I've come up with!"

"Still working with canines, Dollar?" Gadget asked as he walked over and shook his hand.

"Absolutely!" the blonde man grinned with his perfect smile. "And you'll never believe what I've been able to do with Labrador retrievers!"

They walked into a second lab where an overgrown orange puppy waited for them. An adorable eight year old girl with blonde ponytails was playing with it. "Uncle Gadget!" the girl cried as she gave him a great big hug.

"Penny!" Gadget crouched in order to hug her back. "My goodness how you've grown! Let me look at you!" Young Penny Dollar had her father's good looks, which in Gadget's opinion was more appropriate on a little girl. Green eyes, perfect skin, blonde hair and a unique high pitched throaty voice that was perfect for conveying both care and concern. She looked like the little girl from Aliens. It was obvious she would break hearts someday, while her clumsy uncle would break… his leg if he wasn't careful.

"Penny, dear, I want your Uncle Gadget to see the dog," her father gently scolded.

"Yup, that's a fine dog you've got there Nick," Gadget complemented.

"Now Gadget," Mister Dollar began, "you know that the Labrador is the most well-adjusted, intelligent and most well behaved dog in the world, right?"

"That's right," Gadget nodded. "And that's why they're the most expensive!"

"Well you know that Labradors are the most common Seeing Eye dog in the world right?" Dollar continued. "Because they're so smart, good tempered and easy to train right?"

"Yes…" Gadget decided to smile and nod. Dollar was losing him already.

"Well I've bred an even smarter breed of dog!" Dollar gushed. "A dog that can actually be taught to understand human speech! A dog that is smart enough to train itself! And get this!" He looked down at the dog. "Brain! Get me that newspaper!"

"Rough!" the dog was medium sized, but would probably grow a little more if its oversized feet were any indication. Its orange, almost fox red coat was shiny and lustrous. It walked over to the table, then stood up on its hind legs and reached with its foreleg for the newspaper. Incredibly, it forced its paw to open like a primitive raccoon-like hand to grasp the newspaper and drag it to the ground.

When it got back on all fours to pick up the paper with its mouth Dollar gave it another order. "Brain! With your hands! Pick up the paper with your hands and walk over to me on your hind legs!"

"Woof," the dog sighed as it complied. Incredibly, it held the newspaper with one paw and walked over to them on two legs like a human. It was like Snoopy from Peanuts was flesh and blood or something.

"Why that's incredible!" Gadget gushed. "Can you teach him to fly a Sopwith Camel too?"

"No, but I'll bet he's the only dog in the world that can open a door for himself," Dollar chuckled.

"And clean up after himself," Sylvia added.

"Please, Dad, can't we keep him?" Penny asked. Her scratchy voice had such a melancholy sincerity that it was difficult to say 'no' to her.

"Now, Penny, you know that Brain isn't a household pet," her father shook his head. "He belongs to the world! He belongs to science!"

"Will science feed him, love him and give him a good home?" Gadget quipped.

"Don't tell me you're taking her side?" Nick joked.

"I can't help it, Dollar," Gadget shrugged. "I've got a soft spot for dogs. My German Shepard died last month. If Brain didn't belong to science I'd take him off your hands myself."

"But I'd be able to call him back," Nick Dollar teased. "Sylvia gave Brain a dog collar with a communications system in it. It's on the same frequency as our watches. Observe…" he pushed a button on his watch and earphones and a microphone popped out of the dog's red collar. "Now we can communicate back and forth. Look how smart brain is." He spoke into the watch. "Brain, how many fingers does the human hand have?"

Brain barked five times.

"See?" Doctor Dollar smiled. "He's smart enough to talk back! That's why he has a microphone."

"Sorry but I'm not impressed," Gadget shook his head. "Not only could Brain hear you, but he could also see your hand."

"You don't understand!" Dollar frowned. "Brain is smart enough to answer questions, not just respond to commands or make requests! Don't you understand what that means?"

"It means that you need to be in the other room and keep him from looking at your hands," Gadget shrugged, completely missing the point.

"You know how Max is, dear," Sylvia shook her head as she held the door to her laboratory open Gadget and Nick. "Personally I think that Chief Quimby has the patience of a saint." As Gadget and Dollar left the room, she looked uncomfortably at Penny. "Penny, darling we need some grown up time with your Uncle Gadget. Maybe you ought to go home."

"Okay," the girl said disappointedly, then she brightened. "Can I take Brain home with me?" she asked. "Just for today I mean! You know, for protection!"

"You aren't just saying that because you know once Brain makes himself at home your father won't have the heart to send him back to the lab again are you?" Sylvia asked suspiciously.

"Maybe," Penny looked away guiltily.

"Go ahead," Sylvia Dollar nodded. "I think that a dog needs fresh air and a normal home and not a sterile lab. Besides they keep delivering dog food to my side of the building."

"Thanks Mom!" Penny hugged her. "You're the best! Come on Brain! Let's go home!"

As Sylvia closed the door and rejoined the adults, Gadget was asking questions. "Okay, now that you've shown me your latest experiments, why did you ask me over here anyway?"

"We've been getting threats," Nick L. Dollar informed him. "If we don't turn over our research to an organization called MAD, they're threatening to blow up the lab."

"Mothers Against Drunk Driving?" Gadget scratched his head. "Why would they want to…?"

"Their leader is someone called Doctor Claw, I believe," Sylvia added.

"Oh! MAD!" Gadget's eyes widened in realization. "The international organization of evil! It's ran by a mastermind named Doctor Claw! Of course! 'MAD' with one 'D'! How silly of me! And they're threatening to blow you up? How dare they? Don't they realize we're related?"

At that moment, the doorbell rang. "This must be one of your dog food deliveries," Sylvia said.

"Just a minute, I'll get it," Gadget walked over to the door.

When he opened it, a short, bald little troll of a uniformed delivery man was holding a large box. "Package for Doctor Dollar," he said in a gruff but sneaky voice as he set the box down.

"I'll take it," Gadget said. "I'm Maxwell Gadget, Sylvia Dollar's brother. I'm an inspector with the Metro City Police Department."

"Sign here sir," the delivery man said as he handed the inspector a pen and a notepad.

"Turn around, I'll sign it on your back," Gadget said. When the delivery man complied a stylized symbol of a cat face with curved horns instead of ears was visible on the man's jacket and the capital letters 'M A D' were displayed prominently. Gadget ignored this as he put the pad on the delivery man's back and signed his name. "Here you go," Gadget handed the pad and pen to the delivery man afterwards. "Thanks for the delivery and have a nice day."

"You too sir," the delivery man said in a mischievous voice. "You go live life to the fullest while you can sir. Heh-heh-heh-heh," he laughed evilly.

"Thank you, I'll do that," Gadget said as he picked up the box and closed the door.

"What is it more dog food?" Sylvia asked.

"Nope," Gadget said as he opened the box and pulled out what appeared to be a cannon ball with a thick burning fuse on top of it. "Which one of you two ordered a bomb?" he asked nonchalantly before his eyes widened in surprise. "A bomb?"

"Get rid of it!" Nick cried.

Discarding the box, Gadget threw the bomb to Nick, who promptly threw it right back to him. Gadget then threw the bomb to Sylvia who caught it only to toss it back at her brother. Gadget caught it and appeared to dance a strange jig as he tried to decide what to do.

Outside, Penny was unlocking her bicycle. "You're going to love it at our house, Brain!" she said as she patted the dog's head. "We have this big backyard and we live in a good neighborhood. Hey, what is that man doing over by the window? Is he spying on my parents or something?" Suspicious, the child flattened herself against the wall and crept over to the short goblin of a deliveryman.

"I did what you told me, Doctor Claw," the short henchman said into his cell phone. "You were right, they did call the cops. They're talking to a police inspector called 'Gadget' right now!"

"Gadget!" a deep bestial voice thundered from his cell phone. "It seems that my decision deliver a warning was a good one. With luck, Gadget will get blown up trying to get rid of that bomb!" Evil laughter chortled from the cell phone.

The little henchman laughed too. At least he did before the window broke and a black spherical old style bomb flew out and landed in his hands. "Yaah!" the henchman screamed before he tossed the bomb back inside.

"Did you see that, Brain?" Penny cried as she stopped sneaking and started running forward. "That looked like a bomb!"

A horrendous explosion erupted from the building knocking Penny, Brain and the little lackey off their feet. As smoke billowed out the windows, the henchman staggered to his feet and ran away.

"Oh no!" Penny cried as her green eyes widened in horror. "Mom! Dad! Uncle Gadget! Please no!"

Next: We Can Rebuild Him