*So, this is just a oneshot I thought up and thought you might enjoy. Total Drama did happen, there's just not really a mention of it. Anyways, hope you like!*

Every girl has her own brand of crazy, and I know that for a fact. I pretty much figured that out courtesy of an annoying reality televison show I was on for three seasons.

I was hanging out with my few friends that weren't currently incarcerated in a dinghy Toronto alleyway when the payphone we had hooked up to the restaurant nearby started ringing. I was closest to it, so I put the black phone to my ear.

"What's up?" I asked coolly.

"Duncan?" The gravelly voice on the other line asked. Gwen.

"Hey Babe, what's up?" I asked with a smirk.

"I need you to come over! quick!" She yelled. That was all I needed to hear.

I hung the phone up and darted out of the alleyway without a word to any of my friends. I looked around frantically for something to get myself over there in and saw a businessman putting all of his stuff into a sleek black mercedes. I quickly pushed him out of the way, turned the key into the ignition, and stepped on the pedals. I heard the screeching of the car as it whizzed through every red light and stop sign. Sometimes I would actually stop for the cars, but not when I need to go kill whoever's messing with Gwen. I pulled up to her dark blue home, not caring about the three mailboxes I just mowed down, including hers. I ran around the perimeter of her house, eventually seeing the teal of her hair in the backyard.

I hopped the fence and ran over to the girl, who was staring up into the big oak tree with distress.

"Gwen." I panted, finally standing next her. "What happened?" I asked, pulling one of her pale forearms towards me. "Did you hurt yourself or something?" I asked quickly, examining the smooth, translucent skin on her arm. She tore it away from me.

"No." She said, her voice strained. "It's Angus!" She yelled in distress, then turned her eyes back up to the large oak tree in her backyard.

"Angus?" I reapeated. Angus is one of Gwen's lizards that I hate. She always pays more attention to those stupid reptiles than she does to me. You have no idea how bad I want to make lizard soup one of these nights...

"Yeah. He grabbed my sketchpad and ran up that tree with it!" She explained, pointing to the tree.

"And?" I yelled, now fully irritated with her.

"And I need you to get him." She said calmly, although her eyes were still intent. I couldn't even form words to express how crazy she was acting right now. My mouth was opened in a perfect "o" while I tried to form a sentence, but my disbelief just wouldn't allow it.

"W-W-What?" I stammered. "That thing is like a hundred feet up!" I said, pointing with my arm to the top of the tree. "I'll snatch a new sketchpad from an art shop or something!" I yelled.

"And that's fine, but you can't replace Angus!" She cried, looking sadly up at the tree. "I love him!" She squeaked.

"What about me?" I asked her. She put both of her hands on my forearm and stood on her tiptoes to look straight at me.

"I love you, too. But please get my lizard." She requested, with extra emphasis on the 'please.' I sighed and gently shook her off of me.

"Fine." I said in a bored tone of voice. She smiled her megawatt smile at me as I walked over to that dumb tree. I clung onto to it, searching for another place to hoist me up higher. "I can't believe I'm doing this." I muttered through my clenched teeth as I hopped over to the knot on the bark. I continued that process until I had finally reached the branch that stupid lizard was on. I looked straight at the green creature and pointed at it. "I hate you." I said. It dropped the book of drawings from it's mouth as it hopped onto my shoulder. I began to climb back down. "I want you to know right now that I hate you." I repeated after we had gotten going. "See that hot chick down there?" I asked the lizard, pointing down to Gwen. "I could be making out with her right now, but no, I'm stuck getting you out of a tree." I ranted. My feet finally came in contact with the grass and I looked at the lizard one time. "I hope your happy." I mumbled. I've never seen a lizard look so smug.

Gwen gasped and rushed over to us, of course more happy to see the lizard. I rolled my eyes while she lifted the creature off of my shoulder.

"I can't believe I just did that." I muttered. I looked at Gwen as she placed a strategically planned out kiss on the lizard's scaly head. "I hate that thing, you know." In informed her.

"Why?" She asked, giggling a little as the lizard scurried up her and onto her shoulder.

"'Cause you like him better than me. I'm practically good for nothing but getting him out of stupid trees." I muttered while I looked back at the tree and folded my arms. She placed her hands on either of my shoulders and leaned up to me. She kissed me and then pulled away with a slight smile.

"You are a better kisser than him." She said optimistically. I looked at the lizard perched laxly on her shoulder.

"HA!" I said. Gwen looked quizzically at me but shook it off in a matter of seconds.

"Whatever, Duncan, I have to go." She said. Then she turned on the heel of her black boots and walked back towards her home. The stupid lizard on her shoulders turned around and...stuck his tongue out at me!

"Hey!" I yelled, pointing to the creature, "I SAW THAT!"

*So, did you like it? For some reason I could see this entire thing just playing out in my head, 'cause I'm just...odd. Anyways, please please please please please please please REVIEW!*