A/N: I'm alive, and you don't even need to review this. I just wanted to write, and I wanted to share it with whoever wanted to read it.

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Title: Trigonometry is a Stupid Subject.

Summary: Alice hates math. You can all relate.

Authoress: Joanie

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Alice was sitting cross-legged on her bed, struggling with a math problem Oz had given her earlier in the day. She had been sitting there for hours. Now, don't judge her just yet: Oz was a good teacher, but his problems were shit-ass difficult.

As she sat there, tapping her pencil against her lip, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, Oz came into the room. "How's it going, Alice?"

And the book flew to Oz's face, smacking him and leaving him with a very red nose.

"You stupid manservant. HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM!"

Oz picked the book up calmly and sat next to her on the bed.

"Well, you see, Alice…" He began to point at the various numbers and variables, telling her to multiply this, and divide that, use this formula, subtract the x from both sides… I don't know about you, but I'm getting bored just imagining it. So you can imagine how Alice must have felt.

… Actually, she wasn't feeling anything. She was asleep.

"Alice? Alice! Wake up!" Oz shook her shoulder.

"Huhwhatwheresthefire." Alice looked disoriented for a second, then shook it off, and slapped Oz's hand away. "I'm awake now, you can let go."

"Stop falling asleep while I'm teaching you!"

"It's not my fault Math is so goddamn boring." She yawned. "All those exponents and radicals give me a headache."

Oz grinned. "What about imaginary numbers?"

"Imaginary numbers?" Alice sweatdropped.

"Imaginary numbers!" He was beaming now.

"What in the hell is an imaginary number?"

"A number that isn't there. Duh."

"…" Alice was seriously starting to wonder if he had a couple of screws loose in that blonde clafluffled head of his.

Oz pointed to a negative radical. "Alice, tell me if that number exists."

"Yes."

"No. Try again."

"No, then."

"Excellent. So if it doesn't exist, what is it?"

"Nonexistent."

Oz facepalmed, took a deep breath, and tried again.

"No, Alice, it's imaginary. It's an imaginary number. See, by turning this into a negative radical one and radical four, you can make this simpler."

He kept talking about imaginary numbers and i's and simplifying radicals until Alice stood up on the bed, pointed to him, and started to yell.

"MANSERVANT, WOULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MATH FOR TWO SECONDS?"

"I am hurt, Alice."

"Where? I'll lick the wound."

"…"

"I mean it!" She demanded. "Let me see where you got hurt!"

"You threw a book at my nose."

She bit his nose.

Oz screamed.

Needless to say, the math lesson was not continued.

THE END~!

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A/N: Okay, so today I taught you all a valuable lesson about imaginary numbers while making it fun. I think that's how they should teach us in school. Have people write stories about your favorite series according to a certain topic.

This story came about because: 1) I died on FF and realized that I needed a new story.

and 2) I'm doing Trig homework. It's not fun. So I decided to make it fun.

We can all see what happened there.