My submission for the "Candy land Challenge. My pairing was Morgan/Garcia with a Wham bar. Thanks to whoever chose that prompt- you completely stumped me. I can only hope that this story lives up to your expectations. Happy Halloween to everyone on the forum. Have a safe and wonderful day!

I don't own Criminal Minds- because someone upstairs decided to "trick" me instead of giving me a "treat". Darn it!

Song prompt: "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" by Joe McIntyre (yes, the kid formerly of NKOTB- check him out!).

Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

Derek Morgan had made a lot of mistakes in his thirty four years on this place called Earth- and he had screwed up more times that he could count. But as he stood outside of Tech Analyst Penelope Garcia's lair, he had to face the realization that he had, in a nutshell, completely, thoroughly, 110% fucked up.

Turn around Derek. Do what's best for everyone involved, and turn around. She's never going to forgive you and you will never say you're sorry, so do both of you a favour and turn around and walk away. If for no other reason than it's going to be hell for Hotch to write a report explaining why your corpse was found hanging upside down on the flag pole.

But he HAD fucked up royally. There was no way around it. And what made it worse was that unlike all the other women who had come in and out of his life, she was the only who hadn't screamed at him. Her eyes had narrowed to slits behind her pink rimmed glasses. Then she spun around on her heel and stalked out of the room. He had to suppress a grin as he watched her disappear from view.

He assured himself that she would see that he had a point and come around. But as hours turned to days and days stretched into weeks, maybe it was time he did a little groveling. A practice he wasn't familiar with- of course he had read of characters who groveled, but he never did; he didn't have to. He was right and anyone who didn't agree with him was wrong.

That may have been a good theory on paper, but in the real world…he had been wrong. And if he was going to make it to retirement alive and with a pristine credit history, he was going to have to learn to grovel between knocking and entering. That didn't leave him a lot of time to perfect the impossible. God help him!

Taking a deep breath, he knocked and waited. Hearing nothing, he knocked again. Still no response. Either she was dead, out of the office, or ignoring him. The first two were acceptable. The latter filled him with dread. Now he was going to have to make the first move.

One more deep breath, then he turned the door handle. Gently, slowly, as though his life depended on it.

"Garcia?" he called out softly. "Are you in here?" His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room. As the plasma screens lent some light, he could make out the figure typing furiously on the keyboard.

Taking a couple of steps forward, he stopped six feet shy of where she sat. Six feet was respectable enough of a distance to hold a decent conversation in a normal toned voice and just enough distance to make a getaway should the need arrive.

"Garcia?"

"I'm ignoring you or did you not get that memo a couple weeks back?" she replied tersely and continued typing.

"You were serious about that?" he joked. She didn't reply. Tucking his thumbs in his jeans pocket, he rocked on his heels. "I thought you were over that…misunderstanding."

Stopping her typing, she spun around to face him. "Misunderstanding?" she sputtered. "Is that what it was? You insulted me and my feelings and it was a 'misunderstanding'? I think you need a new and revised edition of a Thesaurus."

"Look Baby Girl…"

"Don't you dare call me 'Baby Girl'! You lost that privilege along with your credit history."

Derek's mouth dropped open. "You didn't dare!"

"I'm not going to say I didn't tweak it, but I'm not not going to say that I didn't either."

"Would it help if I said I brought a peace offering?" he asked.

"It would depend upon the peace and the offering. What do you have to lay at the altar of Penelope Garcia? And it better be worth saving your reputation."

Derek groaned inwardly. He was past royally fucked. Reaching into his coat pocket he extracted a cellophane wrapped package. "Here." He extended it toward her.

Glancing at the item in Derek's hand, she blinked twice then laughed. "You have to be kidding me! A Wham Bar? Seriously?"

Derek shrugged and gave her a crooked grin. "I know you like fruity tangy things and it was all the vending machine had. I thought you might accept it as a token of my repentance."

Taking it from his hand, Garcia waved it in front of him. "This is what you give someone when you flub up; what you did requires nothing less than the new Apple I-Pad."

"You can't be serious! Do you know how much those cost?"

"You forget that I have access to your banking information! You can afford to get me at least twenty I-Pads!"

"Baby Girl…" Derek felt himself begin to sweat.

"Call me 'Baby Girl' one more time and I can guarantee you'll be tithing a healthy chunk of your savings to the charity of my choice." Her finger poised over the keyboard.

"Don't do that." He involuntarily moved forward.

"Two small words can get my finger to move," she offered. Derek paused. "I'll help you; the first word starts with an 'I'…"

"I'm sorry?"

"Okay, that's a start. Let's see if you can say it without it sounding like a response to an answer on 'Jeopardy'."

Derek let out a big sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Better." She moved her hand away. "I can hit escape and clear the screen and pretend this never happened. But it's up to you."

"What do you want me to say? I've already said I'm sorry."

"How about 'Pen, I am so sorry for insulting you and taking you for granted'? That would be a great beginning."

"I never meant to take you for granted."

"But you're still ashamed to be seen with me," she finished. Her tone held disappointment.

"It's not like that Babe…Pen…Garcia."

"We were supposed to go out to the FBI party and you stood me up!"

Derek held up his hands. "I got side-tracked. I lost track of the time. When I looked at my watch, I realized it was too late to call you."

"You're ashamed of me."

Derek stepped forward and put a hand on her shoulder. His tone immediately went from defeated to defensive. "I am not ashamed of you. And I am not ashamed of us. I made a mistake."

"Bullshit. You can either tell me the real reason or you can leave the way you came."

"Pen…"

"If you ever want to see your dog again, you'd better be honest with me."

"Are you saying that you took my dog hostage?" Derek stammered.

"I'm not saying that. What I am saying is that if you don't come clean really fast, Clooney will be taking orders from a new master…er, mistress."

Derek thought over his response carefully. "I made a mistake…a huge mistake. And not one I plan on doing again. Believe me. I didn't mean to hurt you; I was trying to protect you."

"From whom? Strauss? I can handle her. One keystroke and her third grade picture is out there forever."

"I can handle Strauss too. I meant my ex fiancée. She was at the party. She has never gotten over our break-up. Her last words before we broke up were that she would spend the rest of her life making my life and the life of any woman I get involved with a living hell."

"You're kidding me! What did you do? Or do I want to know?"

"I wasn't honest with her."

"Now history is repeating itself. Seems your track record is still intact."

He spun her chair around so they were face to face when he knelt down in front of her. He realized he was giving her a perfect opportunity to kick him when he was down, but he was willing to risk it. "I was protecting you. Or trying to."

"Why didn't you tell me instead of pussy footing around the subject? Why did you have to be an ass about it?"

"Because I'm an ass." Derek took a heavy deep breath and let it out slowly. "Pen, men are stupid creatures; you should know that by now. We say things that we don't mean to say and don't say the things we should. If I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry."

"But Derek, we've been seeing each other for two months now."

"I wasn't prepared for a confrontation. It's not that I won't fight for you, I'm not sure how. I've never had a relationship that made it past two weeks…much less two months. I was afraid of what she might say or do to you."

"I've worked beside you for six years Derek; I've seen sides of you I bet your mother didn't know existed. If I was going to run off, I would have been out that door a long time ago." She cupped his cheek. "As for your ex…I can take care of myself. She might be a bad ass in her little world, but my world can crush her like an ant if she even hints at messing with my delicious god of vanilla chocolate swirly delight. Her ass will be mine."

"You would do that for me?" His eyes softened.

Garcia nodded. "Yes. And I'll do it to you too if you ever think about screwing me any where but in our bedroom."

"Thanks." He ripped open the cellophane and broke a piece of the candy off. "Here."

"I don't want it," she replied stubbornly.

"Eat it!"

"No." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I wouldn't eat it for all…" Her words were cut off as Derek shoved the fruity concoction in her mouth. Sputtering, she glared at him and chewed furiously. "That was not nice."

Derek shoved a piece in his mouth and chewed quickly. "Yes it was. I wanted us to be even when I did this." Dipping his head, he captured her lips for a deep long kiss. As she opened her mouth and let him in, Derek knew he had been forgiven.

Pulling away, he looked at the lovely blonde wearing pink rimmed glasses, with auburn and pink stripes in her hair, dressed in a paisley print dress and knew at that moment he had fallen in love. Hard core, full blown love.

"You brought me candy, apologies and kisses. What's the encore?" Pen breathed.

"Getting you the new Apple I-Pad." He leaned down and kissed her again. "After I announce to the BAU that I'm seeing you and we are an 'item'. Oh, and I'd like to get my dog back."

"Whose dog?"

"Ours?" Derek corrected. "If that is alright."

Garcia's eyes twinkled. "It's more than alright. But I have one teeny tiny request."

"Name it Baby Girl." He stroked her hair.

"May I have another Wham bar?"

"Your wish is my command." He leaned in to kiss her again.

"Good. Now if I could only retrieve that picture of you lying naked on a bearskin rug…" she muttered against his lips.

"What?"

"Uh nothing," she corrected. "Kiss me."

And he did.