I Came Back For You
AN: This is a story that I started last night whilst feeling like Blair's bulimia hasn't really had much of a storyline. Basically, after the train station scene, Chuck didn't come back to New York and stayed in Paris with Eva. Blair's bulimia is spiralling out of control and Chuck has to make some tough decisions, including his heart. Chuck/Blair. Chuck/Eva. RATED T for future chapters.
...
He walked out of their small apartment and down the stairs. He found a white envelope sticking out of their pigeon hole.
"Ooh" Eva cooed as she rushed over to it and took it in her small hands. Her smile faded once she read the start of who it was addressed to.
"It's addressed to a Mr Charles Bass" She announced. Chuck was automatically intrigued and alarmed. "Oh well, it's not for us"
Chuck took the envelope out of her hands and looked at the address and felt his heart skip a beat when he saw the handwriting. Of course it would be from her, he thought to himself.
Chuck nodded slowly. "Yes, it must have been sent to the wrong person I'll take it up to the landlord" He announced.
"I'll come with you" She replied.
"No, no. You stay here. I'll go.
Eva smiled as he walked off. When he turned the corner, he pulled the letter out of its envelope and took a deep breath. Preparing himself for the wrath of Blair Waldorf. He held his breath as he read.
Dear Chuck,
My world is falling apart. And you are the only one who would understand what's going on. Even Serena doesn't get it. No-one is taking me seriously and I feel like screaming because I don't have anyone to talk to about it all. I can't even tell Serena.
Columbia is practically a disaster. I have minions, yes but I just don't have the energy to deal with them. They need a cold hearted Queen and lately I've just become a train wreck.
I can't keep up with class work and I just feel so alone. Everybody leaves, Serena left, My Mom, Cyrus, My Dad and now you.
Where are you? Why don't you call? Do you want us to miss you constantly? Even Eric's beginning to miss you but he's putting up a brave front. I on the other hand, thought I was coping well but I'm not.
I thought that, that night at the train station would make me forget you forever but I guess it didn't. Whenever I close my eyes, all I see is you. You're constantly there, invading my dreams and haunting me wherever I go.
I need you so much Chuck, and you don't even care! You haven't been there for me. You aren't here for me when I need you more than ever! It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. They say it's a broken heart but, I hurt in my whole body.
I miss you so much, Chuck.
-Love Blair
Chuck exhaled the breath and felt as though he were about to die. Sure, she had begged him to come home at the train station that time and he had nearly agreed and he would have happily followed her back to the Big Apple if she hadn't had said those words.
"I don't love you anymore"
The words haunted Chuck all day and crept into his dreams in the evenings. That was why he couldn't go back. Eva loved him, Blair didn't. It was a simple choice really. He had nearly lost Eva that night when Blair came looking for him. The next day he nearly had to tell her everything. But he didn't and she believed that it was just one of his friends from New York, worried about him.
He looked at the letter again. The way the ink was dug into the paper, she must have really pressed hard. He was surprised that they're weren't holes in the paper. She must have been hurt that day. Incredibly hurt to have written something like that.
She obviously needed him. But he couldn't just abandon Eva and rush to his ex-girlfriends side, could he?
...
Serena's phone buzzed on the coffee table. She picked it up and answered it without checking the caller ID.
"Hello" She said.
"Hey it's me" Chuck replied. Serena stopped lounging on the couch and sat upright.
"Chuck?" She asked. She tried to make it a whisper in case Blair heard her.
"Yeah, listen I just got a pretty messed up letter from Blair, is she okay?" He asked trying to keep it to a whisper. Eva was just in the shower.
Serena exhaled a breath. "No. She's not okay. By any means at all. I don't even recognise her now, Chuck" Serena explained.
"What do you mean?"
"She's...she's in...a bad way, Chuck. I think that she needs you"
"I knew that she wouldn't send that kind of letter unless something was really wrong." He replied. Serena cleared her throat.
"Actually, Blair didn't send it. I did." She confessed.
"But it's her hand writing."
"She wrote it but I found it the other day and I sent it. She doesn't know." Serena explained.
"Oh." It was all he could say.
"Chuck...She's sick" Serena whispered. Chuck felt his heart tighten.
"How sick?" He asked in a voice just above a whisper.
"Really sick. I don't think she's ever been this bad before, Chuck. It's scaring me. She's gone so thin. You wouldn't even recognise her" Serena admitted. Chuck nodded.
"So...is her...condition...back?" He asked fearfully. Serena nodded her head on the other line of the phone and her silence said everything. Chuck breathed out a sigh. "I'll be on the first plane over" He announced.
"Thank you, Chuck" Serena thanked. Eva came out of the bathroom in a white towel.
"I'll call you when I'm there" Chuck finished ending the call and clutching the expensive phone to him as he stood up and walked over to her.
"What's wrong?" She immediately asked. Chuck took her hand in his free one.
"Eva, I have to go back to New York." Chuck announced Eva stared at him.
"Why?"
Chuck took a deep breath. "It's...it's my friend. She-she" He was struggling now. He looked down. "She's sick" He almost whispered.
Eva looked worried. "What do you mean, sick?" She questioned.
"She's ill. I don't know much but she's very sick. She needs me" He replied. Eva smiled at him.
"Is it the girl who came to see you that night at the train station?" Eva asked. Chuck nodded. "Blair?"
"Yes. Blair, I don't know very much but I just got a call from her friend and she isn't well, at all. I'm sorry, Eva but I have to go"
Eva smiled. "You are a good man, Henry Prince" She placed a hand to his face. "Go" She announced. Chuck smiled at her.
"You are amazing" He smiled kissing her softly.
"When will you come back?" She asked. Chuck shook his head.
"I have no idea. I don't know how long it will take before she gets better" He admitted.
"You have as long as you need" She smiled. "What's wrong with her?" She asked.
"She...She...I can't tell you. I'm sorry but I can't" He replied.
...
Blair sat on a ball on the floor propped up against the wall. It was only 12pm and already she'd thrown up twice. She knew that Serena probably knew that her condition had returned. It was only a matter of time, really. Chuck was gone, he had a new life now, a new love. And he wasn't going to come back to New York now so what was the point in hoping?
She blamed herself for him not wanting to return. He was probably sick of the sight of her and her scheming ways. If he wanted to leave then fine.
If he wanted to live in a different continent then that was completely fine too. If he wanted to be happy living like a peasant then she wished him all the best of luck.
"Fuck you, Chuck Bass" She murmured. She was about to throw up the last of the remains of her blueberry muffin when she heard Dorota.
"Miss Blair, someone to see you" The Polish maid called.
Blair looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. Who would possibly want to come and see her? Her once fabulous shiny curls she had once taken such good care off now lay limp on her shoulders. Her once huge doe eyes that sprung with happiness and mischievousness now looked depressed and puffy. Her curves had gone, now all that was there was just skin and bone. And her skin, it had always been pale but now, she looked as white as a ghost. A lilac nightdress hung loosely off her. She looked dreadful she knew it. Who would want to come and see her?
"No visitors, Dorota. I don't want to see anyone today. I don't feel very well" She replied. It was meant to be loud and clear but it came out raspy. She sighed and slumped back against the wall.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps. She propped herself fully up against the wall preparing herself for a fight with whoever dared come up and disturb her. She was ready for battle. She heard the door open.
As soon as he opened the door. It hit him. The smell of vomit was terrible. It wasn't just the smell of any vomit either, it was the smell of her self-induced vomit, attempted to cover up the smell with Chanel no.5 as a poor air freshener.
The curtains in her room were tightly closed, her un-made bed sheets lying in a tangle. Her clothes were strewn all over the place. Two photo frames were turned backwards. He walked over to them and looked at them. One was of him and her, when they were in Paris on Vacation when they were still on their 'Honeymoon Period' It was the same picture that sat in his suite for months and he was sure that it was still there, even now. Unless Nate had moved it. Speaking of Nate he would have to speak to him sooner or later.
The second photo was a photo of him, when they were still at school. In their junior year.
He walked towards the bathroom, bracing himself for the worst. She couldn't he that bad, it had only been a few months, Serena had a way of over exaggerating things.
He twisted the door handle and opened the door, letting some light into the bathroom as he did so.
He nearly had a heart attack when he saw her. She looked as though she was dead. A zombie. Her once gorgeous hair, radiant with curls was now limp and dead. Her skin was the palest he'd ever seen a person. She was so thin that he could see all of her bones, sticking out. She looked as though if he touched her, she'd snap like a twig. She gently raised her head. Staring him straight in the eyes and her eyes, oh her beautiful brown eyes that once glimmered with love and happiness were now depressed and low.
He could barley recognise her. Serena wasn't over exaggerating at all.
"Chuck" She rasped.
"Blair" He said her name and she could tell he was worried. There was sheer terror in his eyes. She probably looked like a vampire. No, not a vampire, they were beautiful. More like...a Witch.
She was silent. She just stayed there and stared at him like a weak little girl. He put a hand up to the bridge of his nose and exhaled a deep breath.
"God" He whispered to himself.
"What?" She shouted at him. He looked at her.
"If I'd known it was this bad...I would have-"
"What? You would have what? Come running back to New York to save me? This isn't how it works! This isn't fairytale, you can't just come and save me!" She yelled. Tears brimmed in her eyes.
"Blair-" His voice was calm even though he looked incredibly hurt.
"Stop saying my name!" Chuck looked as though he was shocked. "Just get out! Go!" She screamed. But instead of leaving he took two steps forward. Blair glared at him. This boy had a death wish.
"No" He answered. She looked as though she were about to launch herself at him. He stared at her. "What happened to you, B?"
She looked at her thin hands. "Nothing, I'm perfectly fine. If you came here to see me, then you wasted a trip" She shot at him. She wanted to fight with him. She wanted him to leave and go back to his French floozy.
He sat on the floor next to her. "You don't look fine" He looked at her and she looked at him. "It's returned hasn't it?" He whispered playing with his hands. She closed her eyes and nodded. He saw some tears fall from them.
"Hey, it's okay" He reached out for her but she flinched away from him. Like she was scared of him. "I got your letter" He announced.
"I didn't send you a letter-"
"I know. Serena sent it"
She sighed. "She had no right to do that"
"She was worried about you" He replied.
"Well, Bass thank you for stopping by but I actually have things that I need to be doing so...you can let yourself out" She replied. He didn't budge. "Fine then, if you won't leave, I will"
She tried to stand up but fell backwards. Chuck quickly caught her in his arms and helped her up again. When they were both up, he didn't let go of her. She turned herself around in his arms so that she was facing him and not the mirror. He stared at her and she let a few tear drops fall down her face. Then, she buried he head on his chest. He held her tight, but not as tightly as he used to, for he was afraid that if he did; she would snap in half. So he rocked her gently. Resting his head on the top of hers as she cried.
"It's okay. Its okay now, Blair. I'm here, Chuck's here and I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you. I promise" He soothed her.
"I'm gonna end up in a psychiatric ward, aren't I? They're gonna come and take me away, aren't they?" She asked through her tears.
"No. No, I'm not gonna let anyone take you there. Okay, I promise you, Blair. I'm here now" He soothed.
She nodded against him. "Thank you, Chuck"
"You tired?" He asked. She nodded.
"Yes. I'm always tired now" She admitted.
"Shall I put you to bed?" He asked. She nodded. "Okay, brush your teeth" He said in a soft tone like he was speaking to a child.
Whilst he was making the bed for her he thought about Eva. It would be the 6 in the morning in France. He yawned. He was tired himself.
She came out of the bathroom the lilac nightgown nearly falling off of her. Chuck had just finished making the bed. He looked up and smiled at her. She attempted a smile at him then, nearly fell. He was quickly at her side, his arm around her narrow waist, guiding her towards the golden king sized bed covered with Egyptian cotton bed sheets. She climbed in without fuss and Chuck pulled the bed sheets closely around her.
"Sleep with me" She murmured. Chuck took a step back.
"What?" He asked.
"Lie with me. You look tired" She announced as she patted the space next to her. He smiled.
"You sure?"
She nodded. "Yes"
He took off his jacket and shoes then took off his tie and un-fastened his top button and was about to climb into bed with her when...
"You're not gonna be comfy like that" She whispered.
"What else do you suggest?" He asked.
"There are some pyjamas in the top drawer on the left" She announced. He shot her a confused glance. "They're yours. From when..." She couldn't finish it off. He knew. He got off the bed, walked over to her closet and found them, a black pair and got into them. When he came out, he found her about to fall asleep. She looked at him and smiled.
He smiled back and climbed back into the bed with her. He couldn't believe that he was actually doing this, getting into bed with his ex-girlfriend as her shoulder to lean on. Yet, here he was. Holding out his arms for her to fall into, which she happily did and he held her like they were still madly in love, which was not a total lie. He did still love her, he always had. Always would.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. She gently groaned and opened her eyes. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID, Eva. He looked at Blair, then back at the phone, then Blair again and hit the 'Ignore Call' button and set the phone on the side.
"Who was it?" She asked.
"No-one important" He replied. She settled again in his arms and closed her heavy eyes.
As she slept, Chuck watched her. He watched her chest rise and fall in a choreographed motion. She smiled in her sleep and she moved in closer to him, placing a dainty hand on his chest. He smiled and before he even knew what he was doing in his mind, he leant down and kissed the top of her hair. It was only afterwards that his brain kicked in and began scolding itself. He closed his eyes and tried to block the image of Eva out of his mind.
He had only just begun to drift off when the door creaked open. His eyes flew open to find Dorota stood in the doorway, peeking in.
"Oh, I sorry Mister Chuck. I didn't mean to wake you it just that...I heard shouting before and when it stop...well, I was worried" Dorota apologised. Chuck smiled at Dorota. "Is she..." Chuck looked at Blair.
"She's sleeping. But I think she'll be okay. She's scared" He looked up at Dorota. "I know what you must think of me, Dorota. But I'm here now, and I'm gonna look after her"
"What about... your French woman?" She asked. Chuck pulled the sheet around Blair as though she were a little girl.
"I haven't worked that out yet" He admitted. Dorota nodded.
"It good to have you back, Mister Chuck" Dorota smiled closing the door.
Chuck nestled back into his lying position and Blair's head joined her hand on his chest. Chuck smiled to himself.
...
AN: Please review and tell me what you thought xoxo-Beth