I disclaim! A friend of mine misses Royal Pains, so I promised her a gifty. This is the first of five parts. Enjoy.

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Divya had a difficult choice to make.

In the first place kissing Adam wasn't so strange—after all, she'd kissed other men before. She'd even kissed Evan before, so she shouldn't have felt so . . . terrible after kissing Adam, right?

Then again, kissing Evan hadn't felt like cheating, and it had been an intense moment that was completely spontaneous and required no thought.

Kissing Adam was different.

It was wrong.

She'd broken away and looked at him, shocked. He'd smiled at her and tried to assure her that she was obviously having second thoughts about marrying Raj.

She was—and third thoughts, and fourth and fifth . . .

She couldn't marry Raj.

Before she'd kissed Adam it was easy to convince herself that she'd be happy with Raj—but obviously she was already dissatisfied. She couldn't marry Raj knowing that she could hurt him if one day she met another person—or even really Adam for that matter—who made her feel enough to make her promises to Raj irrelevant. And maybe, just maybe, Raj might meet the girl of his dreams. He deserved better-he deserved more than what she could give him of herself and her heart.

She loved Raj. But she wasn't in love with him—and maybe she never would be.

There was something between her and Adam though. Something attractive, magnetic. Something she couldn't ignore. Or, more honestly, something she didn't want to ignore.

XXXX

"Divya?" Evan called out. He knocked again on her door. Strange. He was pretty sure she was home. He tried the door. Unlocked. He debated for a moment with himself—if he opened the door and walked in he could say that he was worried about her, but she'd probably kill him anyway. Then again, he didn't really want to keep standing in front of her door waiting for her to just get up and answer the damn door.

He made his decision, pushing the door open and walking inside.

He saw Divya. "Hey, Divs. So I was wondering if you'd gotten around to—who is he?" As Evan had walked deeper into the room he'd seen a shirtless Adam.

Adam waved awkwardly, "Hey, I'm Adam."

"What?" Evan practically squawked. "What about Raj? Divya, what's going on here?"

Divya sighed, knowing that Evan's mind was probably working speedily, his imagination running rampant. Adam had come over and they'd been kissing. She had accidentally poured red wine all over his white dress shirt. So, obviously, he was shirtless. Then again, she reminded herself, she didn't have to explain herself to anyone. Especially Evan. "I—It's none of your business."

"Well, no. But yeah. You're my friend, Raj is too." Evan said softly.

"We're not friends," Divya said, unsure.

"Aren't we?" Evan asked, shocked that she'd doubt that.

Adam watched with interest as Divya began to get flustered.

"Evan, please leave."

"Work, Div." Evan reminded her. He hadn't come over her just because he felt like it—there was a purpose to his invasion of her privacy.

Adam looked back and forth between Divya and Evan. "I should go."

Divya tried to stop him, "Don't let Evan scare you away. He's harmless. Annoying," she emphasized, "but harmless."

"Dude, don't worry about it." Evan said to Adam. "I'll go." Hurt was clearly evident in his voice.

Divya felt a constriction around her heart. Pressure. "I'm sorry. We'll talk later."

"Yeah, sure. It was nice meeting you . . . Adam."

"You too."

Divya watched as Evan left and Adam came up behind her and put his arms around her mid-section.

"That was a little awkward. Who is he?"

Divya cleared her throat, "That's Evan. He's Hank's brother and the CFO of HankMed."

"He's a little . . . odd."

"Yes, he is."

XXXX

Later that day Divya approached Evan with caution. "What was it you needed to talk to me about this morning?"

"Doesn't matter." Evan said, refusing to make eye contact with her. Instead, he continued to type away at his computer.

"Fine."

"Fine." Evan replied. He sighed and closed his laptop, looking up at Divya who was standing in front of him. "I don't get it. I just got used to the idea of you marrying Raj—and now you're throwing Raj away for some guy. I don't get it."

"You have no idea what you're talking about." Divya said firmly. "So just stop."

Evan looked at her, frowning. "What about Raj?"

Divya debated whether or not to bother telling him, but then she realized the easiest way to shut Evan up was to tell him the truth. "We ended things."

"And what? You just jumped into bed with another guy?"

Divya turned around at that, throwing her hands up. "I don't know why I even bother."

Evan jumped up, grabbing Divya's arm and turning her around gently. "I'm sorry, Div. That was . . . unfair of me."

"Yes, it was."

"I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and Raj."

"No, you aren't."

"Okay, so maybe not. But I am sorry that I hurt your feelings. It was insensitive."

"Yes, it was." Divya replied, still clearly upset by what he'd said.

"Divya—" Evan placed his hand on her cheek. "Are you okay?"

"I think so." Divya said. She knew she should probably pull away—Evan was the last person in the world who she should let comfort her.

"Does this . . . Adam guy make you happy?"

Divya hesitated, "I—I don't know yet. I think he might."

Evan forced a smile onto his face, "Then I'm happy for you."

XXXX

Telling Raj had not been easy emotionally, but it had been fairly simple logistically.

She'd kissed Adam, but she'd stopped it before it had gotten too far. Some things were more important than a single moment—like her loyalty to Raj.

She'd wanted to tell him in person, but that obviously hadn't been an option. Telling him over the phone had made her feel like a cold-hearted bitch.

Thankfully, he'd somehow known it was coming.

After irrelevant greetings there had been silence.

Divya had broken it, "Raj, I don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"Pretend. I can't marry you." It was easiest, she believed, to just pull the band aid off. She needed to just do it—before she started to draw it out in the most painful way possible.

Raj hadn't sighed, he hadn't yelled. He didn't beg her to reconsider. "So he finally made a move."

Divya had blinked at that, slightly confused. "What?"

"Evan, he finally made a move. It's always been obvious to me that there was something between you."

"Oh, no. It's not Evan. I would never—"

"I understand, Divya. I wish you happiness."

"I wish you the same, Raj. But Evan and I aren't—"

Raj interrupted her gently. "It is what it is, Divya. I'm just glad we've figured this out before the wedding. Good luck with your parents."

Parents. Oh yeah.

Divya hadn't quite understood why Raj had somehow believed that she was breaking off their engagement to be with Evan, but she had quickly deflected that train of thought by realizing that she had to tell her parents what she'd done.

Telling them the truth—which was that it wasn't really about Adam—wouldn't work. They'd still think she was throwing her life away for some guy she'd known for a short period of time.

It wasn't about Raj. It wasn't about Adam either, in fact. Adam had made her realize that there was more to life than fulfilling the life her parents had laid out for her. Maybe he wasn't the person she would spend the rest of her life with, but that frankly didn't matter. The fact that there was that genuine, real possibility made all the difference. The idea of falling in love, of finding the right person, had never felt real to her. So she'd accepted certain aspects of her life without fighting back much at all.

Divya pushed the envelope for things that mattered to her. When she'd insisted on working for HankMed it had been because it was what she'd wanted. But marrying Raj had seemed like the right thing to do until one day she'd woken up-almost as if from a dream- and it hadn't seemed as right anymore.

Choosing not to marry Raj was, therefore, about Divya and what she needed to do.

Divya didn't want to leave, she didn't want to marry Raj. She wasn't sure she wanted to be with Adam, but she wanted to try. Divya wanted to start living her own life, finally.

Her parents would probably want to kill her, but that didn't really matter to her at the moment. What mattered was that she was taking her life into her own hands, and she was going to do what would make her happy.

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Thoughts? :)