From the Journal of Edward Fairfax Rochester
July 18-
Does it not seem that Virtue and Sin are reversed?
In the greening lost garden, the tree of knowledge stood forbidden:
Like your sweet kiss;
Like your ardent touch;
Like your consoling presence.
But does not knowledge shed a mighty light dispelling ignorance?
And is this not beneficial and thus Virtuous?
Likewise does not your kiss dispel my sorrow?
As your touch relieves my pain;
As your presence graces me with solace.
How, I ask wholeheartedly, can this blessing be considered Sin?
Does it not seem that Virtue and Sin are reversed?
'Name, for me, son,' my father commanded, 'the Familial Virtues.'
'Loyalty, Duty and Obedience, Father,' replied I deferentially.
And what has been my reward for observing such Virtues?
To be used as bait in a swindle, by the ones I loved and trusted.
And so by the Familial Virtues of Loyalty, Duty and Obedience,
I wed a stranger, a ransomed husband for a fallen bride,
A broken, fearful woman, I pity, but do not love.
And this, I am told wholeheartedly, is Virtue.
Is increase of the family fortune the true nature of marriage?
Or is it a simpler calling: to serve and to cherish a beloved other
No matter the circumstances until death.
In the spirit of the latter, nobler commitment,
My dear Jane, I make this secret vow.
You are my only true consort, my only genuine wife.
For though I am bound by law to her, it is to you I do belong.
And this authentic passion, I am told wholeheartedly, is Sin.
And I ask again; does it not seem that Virtue and Sin are reversed?
What duty, I ask, do I owe to Virtue?
The same Virtue which has betrayed me at every turn.
Shall I continue to be victimized by Virtue,
Which, in truth, is a name we give societal conditioning?
Pleasing this tyrant - this oppressor, Virtue-
Must I live my entire life in utter misery?
Was my sin, Virtue?
What if I had committed the sins of disloyalty, dereliction of duty and disobedience?
Would I now be living in Virtue with my proper wife – my soul mate, my Janet?
And in that alternate life would my little children have surrounded me at the hearth
With entertaining stories of their sweet and innocent days?
And would my beloved, sylphid wife have laughed with me, night after night in the fire's flickering shadows?
Oh, would I Sin to gain such Virtue.
While reading Jane Eyre, I came across a song, 'Everything Good is Bad' by Angelo Bond, General Johnson, and Greg Perry as performed by 100 Proof Aged in Soul. And the two just dovetailed so nicely in regard to forbidden love, which troubadours throughout time have counted as the highest form of love.
There's also an excellent version by J.J. Grey