Dressing Up

"Elizabeth, you look wonderful."

"Why thank you, Neal." She reached the bottom of the stairs and spun around, the silken layers of the gown flowing around her. "I feel so regal!"

Neal grinned and picked up a box from the coffee table. "One more thing, your majesty."

She gasped as he opened the box, and then reached in, pulling out a sparkling tiara. "Oh, it's gorgeous."

"No more so than its wearer," he replied gallantly as he took the headwear and placed it carefully on her head.

"Oh, I have to go look." She went to the mirror by the door, calling out as she did. "Peter, are you coming?"

A muffled voice replied. "No."

Elizabeth admired the tiara from different angles, then called back upstairs. "Peter Burke, that was a rhetorical question. You are going. Now come on, before we're late."

A pair of feet appeared at the top of the stairs.

He was halfway down the steps when Elizabeth finally looked up. Her eyes went wide and her hand went to her mouth. "Oh!"

Peter clumped all the way down and then stood there, shaking his head. "I am not going."

It was all Neal could do not to laugh, but he forced himself not to. "I think it looks great, Peter."

The agent just stood there glowering. His costume was an old-fashioned prison uniform – gray fabric, with even darker gray thick horizontal stripes.

The plastic ball and chain really made the outfit as far as Neal was concerned.

"Oh, you're really enjoying this, aren't you?" Peter growled.

Neal put on his absolute best innocent look. "Peter, it is not my fault that you waffled on whether or not you would even go until it was too late for me to find a good costume selection in your size." He winked at Elizabeth and continued in a loud stage whisper. "Really, I wanted to get him an ogre costume…"

"Very funny."

"The least you could do is tell your wife how beautiful she looks."

Peter looked over at Elizabeth, really seeing her for the first time. "El, you do look great. I…" He stepped closer, staring at the tiara. "Are those real diamonds?"

Neal nodded. "Of course they're real."

"So help me Caffrey, if you have my wife wearing stolen property…"

"It is not stolen," Neal protested, quite sincerely. "I borrowed it."

"Neal…"

"Bor-rowed, Peter. As in asked and received permission." Neal turned to Elizabeth. "June said she was looking forward to seeing you in it."

"And I'll make sure to thank her for letting me wear it."

"So my wife gets to be a queen, complete with real jewels, and I get a ball and chain. And…" He glared over at Neal as if just noticing the younger man's costume. "And what is that that you're wearing?"

Neal squared his shoulders and straightened his tie. "I'm a cop."

Peter stepped closer, dragging the ball and chain. He reached out to Neal's shoulder to touch the fabric.

Neal brushed his hand away. "Hey, no wrinkling the uniform!"

"That doesn't feel like a costume, Neal. It feels like the real thing."

Neal scrunched up his nose. "You go around feeling cops' uniforms, Peter? That's kind of kinky."

Peter ignored that, still scrutinizing Neal. "Those look like real cuffs too."

"I believe in authenticity."

"And… is that a real gun?"

Neal unsnapped the holster and pulled out the pistol. "Peter, you know I hate guns. But really, how can I be a cop without one?"

"Hand it over."

"Look, it's not even…" Neal's finger closed on the trigger, and a spray of water hit Peter right in the face. "Oooops, I guess it was loaded."

Neal nimbly dodged around the coffee table as Peter swiped blindly at him with one hand, using the other to wipe the water streaming in his eyes.

"Boys, boys." Elizabeth clapped her hands, getting their attention. She was red in the face from laughing, and still trying to stifle a giggle. "Can we go now?"

Peter cast one more glare in Neal's direction and then shook his head. "No, I'm not going."

"Peter you promised," Elizabeth reminded him.

That took the winds out of his argument for a moment. "All right, I'll go," he finally said. "But I'm going to go change. I'll put my suit back on and go as an FBI agent!"

Neal grimaced. "Peter, please, you want to scare those poor children in the transplant unit?"

"Oh, what, and you're not going to scare them dressed like that?"

Neal smiled. "Nope, I'm the good cop." His grin took on a slightly evil touch as he pointed first to himself and then to Peter. "Good cop, bad criminal, remember?"

"Caffrey…"

Elizabeth stepped in and took charge. "Peter, you look fine. You're going as you are." She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the door. "Now come on, Neal has a limo waiting." She held out her other hand. "Neal?"

Neal smiled and picked up his uniform hat from the coffee table, settling it on his head. "Here to protect and serve, ma'm," he said, his voice a good octave lower than normal.

Peter rolled his eyes. "Oh good grief."

Neal grinned and winked at Elizabeth as he slipped out the door past them. She pushed Peter out the door next and then stood there for a moment and sighed. Why did it have to be so difficult?

She could still hear Peter and Neal bickering all the way to the car, and finally she just shook her head and raised her hands to the heavens. "Men!"

Still, they were kind of cute…

She pulled the door closed and went to join them.