"Come on, Tsunayoshi-kun~" Mukuro rested his lips right next to Tsuna's ear, breathing hot air on the sensitive spot just behind the shell. "Let's get dirty and have sex right here on the table…"

Tsuna choked on his own spit, mentally struggling to fight Mukuro's seduction while his body willingly submitted to the illusionist's wiles. "M-Mukuro-san…" His caramel eyes slid shut and he bit his bottom lip as Mukuro's hand slid into the waistband of his slacks, squeezing so nicely around his length…

"SEX!" Both lovers froze instantly, disbelief flashing across their faces in varying degrees of shock. "What's sex? What does sex have to do with putting your hand down Tsuna's pants?"

Hoping he was just hearing things, Tsuna turned his head to look around Mukuro; his hopes were dashed as he saw the 9 years old cow-child standing in the doorway, watching them with huge, earnest emerald eyes.

He all but died, both knees crashing to the ground as his legs gave out on him, causing him to yelp in pain. Mukuro remained standing, staring at the cow-child with a spark in his cobalt blue and scarlet red eye.

"Kufufufufufu…." Ignoring Tsuna's mutterings of pain, Mukuro pulled a chair out from the table and sat down, crossing one leg over the other as he adjusted his black duster around himself. "Come here, Lambo, and I shall tell you all about… sex." The word rolled off of his tongue like a cherished sin. Lambo, cajoled by this promise, leaped right into Mukuro's lap, waiting expectantly for answers.

This snapped Tsuna out of his depression and discomfort enough that he flashed to his feet and slapped both hands over Lambo's ears. "Don't listen, Lambo!" He stole the poor, 'innocent' child from Mukuro's lap and ran away as fast as he could.

Behind him followed Mukuro's laughter.

"TSUNA! I WANNA KNOW WHAT SEX IS!" Lambo threw a mini-fit in his arms, writhing and wiggling madly.

Tsuna nearly dropped him. "Lambo, stop moving so much!" He stopped running, looking back down the hall wearily.

"But I wanna know what sex is!" Lambo pouted up at him, finally ceasing his one-sided war to give Tsuna an incredibly focused glare.

"You're too young to know, Lambo!" Tsuna's back hit the wall and he slid down it to rest on the floor, Lambo tucked safely to his belly. "It's something only grown-ups do!" 'Or so it was…' Tsuna thought silently to himself but managed to refrain from telling Lambo that.

For a moment, Lambo's expression was blank; his wide emerald green eyes stared up at Tsuna and he stayed silent. "… Why is it something only grown-ups do?" He tilted his head curiously.

"W-well…" Deciding he couldn't quite tell Lambo that, he tried to go for something that wasn't quite the truth, but definitely wasn't a lie. "Because when you have… 'sex', you have to share things with the person you… have 'sex' with that you don't want to share with everyone else." He thought that the threat to Lambo's privacy (or his 'so-called privacy' seeing as how he told them everything anyway) would curb his curiosity.

"Why?"

"Because it's very… intimate."

"What's intimate?"

Tsuna was thinking of the best way to kill himself; so far, he was willing to go with anything that came along. "When something is very, very close to you."

Lambo's eyebrows drew together. "Are we intimate right now?"

"No!" Tsuna flinched at the volume of his own voice. "No…" He petted Lambo's hair – now a tamed mop of ebony black instead of the wild afro he had once had. "When I say 'very, very close to you', I mean… well, something that is very, very close to you and makes you feel good too."

"… Like grapes?"

The back of Tsuna's head banged against the wall. "… No… Better than grapes. Not something that you can eat, but something that makes your heart feel warm and fuzzy." He rubbed a hand across his face.

"…" Lambo looked from him down to his own chest, bringing his hands up to his heart. "And having sex and being intimate makes people tell the truth?" He made it sound more like a superhero trick; like some truth-telling elixir.

Defeated, Tsuna nodded. It wasn't actually true – that last part at least – but it would appease Lambo to think otherwise. "Now, don't ask about it again, okay? … 'sex' isn't something you need to worry about now." Lambo nodded absentmindedly. Tsuna smiled and ruffled his hair, setting him on the ground and standing to his feet. "Now go play, okay?"

Lambo stared up at him for another moment before disappearing, laughing obnoxiously as he ran away.

Tsuna couldn't help but smile and find Lambo's childishness endearing.

His smile froze and the corner of his lips twitched as he got a bad feeling; hands snuck beneath the hem of his dress shirt and crawled up his chest, tweaking his nipples. His breath hitched.

"Tsunayoshi-kun~ why did you run away from me?"

'Oh no!' He thought to himself with horror as his pants came undone and dropped to his ankles before he was shoved against the wall. 'I forgot about Mukuro-san!'

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Somewhere on the other side of Vongola HQ, Gokudera's head shot up from where he had been enjoying a treat, grass green eyes donning with understanding before filling with rage. "That damn Mukuro is molesting Juudaime again!" He rushed to his feet –

Only to be brought back to his knees again, a hand clutching the back of his head. "Mah mah, Gokudera-kun! Don't worry about Tsuna!" Yamamoto smiled lewdly as he met Gokudera's glare with auburn brown eyes. "I'm pretty sure he's enjoying himself as much as we are!" He stroked his fingers softly across Gokudera's lightly dusted cheeks, his eyes loving. "Don't be so hasty, Gokudera-kun." He spoke the storm guardian's name in a low, dangerous tone.

Gokudera's breath hitched and his legs scissored lustily. His head sank back down and Yamamoto's length, inch by inch, disappeared into his hot mouth.

Yamamoto's head rolled on his shoulders as his hips rocked carefully. He wrapped his free hand with Gokudera's , the other combing through his lover's silver hair. "You're so beautiful, Gokudera-kun…" He lowered his hand to rub his thumb against the corner of Gokudera's mouth, catching his saliva and his own pre-cum. "I really don't deserve you." He chuckled lightly.

Gokudera's eyes wondered up to him and they glowed with the message: 'Yeah, I know.' He smirked as he deep throated Yamamoto.

He didn't stop until he drank every last drop of Yamamoto's seed. And then Yamamoto returned the favor.

Author's Note: This is based on the assumption that Tsuna breaks Mukuro out of his prison sooner than in the anime and that he somehow manages to break the arcobaleno curse as well.

I bet you can see where this is going, can't you? Reviews, please!