( Ignore the BEER comment, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thought and I decided to keep it )

BEER ---> B- Beautifully E- Ethereal E- Enjoyable R- Reading

"Here you go sweet Dudums have some more pie, my precious sweet angelic boy!", sang Petunia Dursley in a voice so shrill it belonged in an opera. Dudley Dursley, a strapping young heartthrob of 15 years of age sat at the head of his deluxe luxury dining table eating enough fool to feed several small nations. There was candied yams, roast beef, roast turkey with stuffing and cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, manicotti, lasagna, soups of every origin, lobster, shrimp, stuffed crab, caviar, cakes, ice cream, chocolate mousse, baked Alaskan, eclairs, creme puffs, lemon meringue, freshly made cookies and muffins, donuts, Jell-O and pudding, pies and that was just a tiny sampling.

All throughout his feast Dudleys smile just kept getting larger and larger due in no small amount to the amount of praise he was receiving. His father Vernon Dursley had a supply of endless accomplishments to list off for his listening pleasure.

"Did you hear, Dudley aced all of his classes at Smeltings!".

"Just the other day the school nurse was calling us up to let us know Dudley has the best physical fitness she's ever seen, and his moral hygiene beyond reproach!".

"Yessir, my boys gonna live his days rich wealthy and perfectly content and never be forced to do grunt work, its beneath him.".

Ah, life is so grand, thought Dudley while sighing contentedly.I think I'll take a short break from my snack and have some fun punishing that freak, he decided with a fiendish gleam in his eyes. "MOTHER, GET POTTER IN HERE,... NOW!", bellowed the afore mentioned lad. I still can't believe mum and dad let that.. that.. that thing live here in the same house as me all these years, It was about time I started teaching who's boss and stop being so lenient and generous to that scum. Freaky.. Abnormal.. Not right.. just wrong.. always making trouble.. bad.. bad.. must make suffer... revenge... revenge will be sweet, mmmm.... sweet... ARGH what's taking mother so long to fetch that wretch!, I'm wasting away to nothing here waiting while I should be eating those pies. Pies... I love cherry pies....

A loud voice can be heard coming from the other side of the door, "GET IN THERE BOY!", followed by a a soft thwump as something is dropped near Dudleys seat. At first glance once would think it was a bundle of rags wrapped around a broom or something, for the object was so small and skinny and frail that how could it be a human? On a closer viewing its indeed a small child, malnourished and hopelessly broken(will). Gone were the once brilliant emerald beacons of hope kindness and power, replaced with only the dullest of greens and downtrodden despair. One of Dudleys favorite playthings, Harry Potter, his very own person to induce misery upon and gloat and demean.

And lemon, and apple, and blueberry, and peach, and pumpkin.... and.. huh? What was that noise... Ahh its Potter, what's he doing here.. .. ... .. .. .. .. .. ... Oh yeah... I get to taunt him some more hehehehehehehe.

"So Potter, I'll bet your hungry hmm?, bet you would love to chew on one of these pies eh?", sneered Dudley with obvious delight. Hehe hehe look at his eyes its like he is about to cry, I love torturing my *dear* cousin. "What's the matter weakling freak, can't you even speak? C'mon let's hear you beg for food! Beg in my ear you slime!". Hehehe as soon as he begs in my ear I''m gonna spit in his face and push him back on the ground... hehehe....

The scrawny form on the ground looked into Dudleys eyes and knew with a grim certainty that to not beg would be even worse. Slowly and shakily he pushed himself up off the floor while trying not to slip and fall from exhaustion and dehydration. Once in a kneeling position he grabbed onto the chairs arms to help steady his balance and proceeded to use all might to stand up straight. Slowly and ever so carefully Harry inched his lips closer and closer to Dudleys ear.

Look at that pathetic excuse for a being, can't even stand up straight. Finally he's moving... oh haha he slipped back down again, kneeling in front of me hmmm thats a more appropriate position for the likes of him... Yes yes thats it you weak unfit creature, stand up straight... why do we even bother with this filth that needs to brace himself to stand?... Ahh hehehe finally here comes my chance.

A weak cowering voice comes from Harry, "P-p-p-lease Sir Master Dudley.... I..." He leans in even closer and...

Yes yes! Just a few more seconds hehehe, what a fool, stuttering wimp....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dudley Dursley the blubbery gelatinous tub of lard woke up drenched in sweat and reeking like a wet dog. Awww, that was only a dream.... DAMN that Harry he ruins everything.

(The preceding was obviously in Dudley's POV)