Chapter 5: Forever Zero

Robin's whole life (so to speak, he tended to consider 'Tim Drake' somewhat separate from it all) had been a lesson in preparation. Have every possible situation you could think considered and have counter-measures in place for them, and when you were done doing that, brainstorm with other people to see what you missed. The more you thought of, and took consideration of, the safer you were.

Yet even that fact could not account for every single feasible, or rather UN-feasible thing a superhero could encounter. When faced with something like that, Robin had been taught his other great lesson. If you couldn't think in advance, think on your feet. Use everything you were, and everything you'd learned, to survive that moment. It was a lifelong lesson, one Robin was still learning, but he'd devoted himself to it, and tried to pass it onto his friends.

Watching Robin throw attack after attack at Fracture, only for her to use teleportation and kinetic negation to turn it all away, it was that fact that burned on the forefront of Gauntlet's mind. He and the Titans had fought enemies that had outclassed them before, in strength, experience, and desire, but there was something different about this.

It was reflected in Robin's ineffective attacks. How Cyborg's own years of learning and mastering his own condition were rendered moot, one after the other, with seemingly no effort. Starfire's own years of war, dismissed. Beast Boy and Terra, essentially stuck without powers, trying anyway and doing as well as the rest of them. Scalpel's own abilities, distorted by Fracture's machinations, the alien forced to learn them on the spot, even as Sophie tried to make use of her severely limited resources. And of course, Gauntlet's own namesake and all it could do, and all he'd learned to do with it…

It was nothing. All nothing. Their enemy had literally seen every crack and speck of existence, and in her very nature she possessed a quintessence that exceeded anything the Titans could have done or learned. This wasn't a fight, it was a puppet show. The fact that Fracture had no history (and possibly never could, by her time-scarred nature) and yet had more power and less reason to destroy the Titans then anyone Gauntlet could think of was just the icing on the excrement cake.

In truth, Gauntlet didn't bother thinking about how overmatched the Titans were and how hopeless the situation was. He was just too pissed off.

"Why can't you people with powers ever just DEAL WITH IT?" Gauntlet said, swinging an energy baseball bat at Fracture. The girl blurred away, leaping into the air as she did so.

"I AM!" Fracture replied, and thrust out her hand. Gauntlet dodged out of the way as the energy beam struck the crystal floor behind him and passed through it like it wasn't there.

"Who needs therapy when you have ENTROPY?" Fracture said, and spun around firing more blasts, the Titans frantically doing their best to not even get near them. Scalpel was the only one to attack, flying in and blasting Fracture with an intense beam of radiation from his ring. Said beam flickered away when it came near Fracture, and the girl repaid the attack by zapping over and flooring the Blacktrinian in a blur of punches, pure shonen-anime style.

"…Okay then…time to yank something out of my ass, and if anyone is good at yanking ass, it's…wait. Wait?" Gauntlet said. "Okay. I am the one with the mystery artifact of whoknowshowmuch power. It let me breathe in bad space-I wonder if that extends to normal space-and pulled all my friends out of their crisis on earths that are either finite or infinite, I really don't care. Time to go back to the well! I think I can! I think I can!" Gauntlet said, running in towards Fracture. "GAUNTLET FIXEVERYTHING POWER, ACTIVATE!"

Fracture turned into Gauntlet's punch, and the young man was almost CERTAIN he saw lines of white light shoot up his arm and into the energy.

Fracture stopped it with one hand…in a sense. Gauntlet felt the blow's negation, but Fracture went backwards as if she'd been affected anyway. Gauntlet's moment of elation was brief, as the time-weaver promptly turned the backwards motion into a leap. Blasts from Cyborg, Starfire, Scalpel, and Sophie all failed to hit as she warped around several times before stopping, her hair still in constant rotation around her head.

"All right then…!" Fracture said, clapping her hands, rainbow sparks erupting from her body. "Let's REALLY get going!"

"…Okay, did something happen?" Gauntlet said. "I wish I had a user's manual or a degree in quantum mechanics. Either one would…"

Fracture thrust up her hands, and a massive eruption of light blazed from her form. Gauntlet stopped talking and threw up a shield, before the world dissolved…

…Back to normal. The crystal platform and the violating rainbow void around Gauntlet had become a normal blue sky and the top of a building. The top, Gauntlet realized, of Titans Tower.

"…Well, maybe sometime…" Gauntlet said, as he called down his shield…

Only to realize he felt odd. Very very odd. The source of the strange feeling became immediately apparent when he looked at himself, and at the new pair of breasts beneath his shirt.

"OH GOD WHY?" Gauntlet yelled.

"Well, that's what happens when you twist and turn through the passages of time." The new, male voice said. Gauntlet looked up to see what appeared to be an mildly overweight nerd, his thin brown hair standing on end and his eyes blazing with power, though the fact he was wearing dirty jeans and a shirt with Sasuke from Naruto on it somewhat wrecked the image.

"The hell?"

"Seems like my origin got jumbled around again! Much like yours!" The nerd said, and Gauntlet realized it was Fracture. "Now I remember being so smart! Bullied mercilessly but so smart! So smart, I turned my mind to quantum physics…and discovered all the secrets of the universe! So now the universe bores me, so I'm gonna break it and remake it afterward if I feel like it!"

"Gargh stop being confusing!"

"I doubt he will do that, Friend Robert!" Starfire said, popping up next to Gauntlet. The only reason Gauntlet knew it was Starfire was because he recognized her voice. The alien was now human, dressed in a full body costume, had blue hair she'd cut short, and was carrying what seemed to be a very large flamethrower. "Let's just BURN through the troubles!"

"Pleasseee!" Fracture said, dodging the blast of flame Starfire sent roaring towards him. "I saw everything! I know how everything works! I can DO anything! I HAVE POWER! UNLLIMMMITTEDDD POWAAAAHHHHH!" Fracture said, and held out his hands as a storm of lightning blasted through the air at the Titans.

"That's number 8 on the things villains say before they lose!" Gauntlet said, blocking the lightning with a shield.

"Darn straight!" Beast Boy said, landing near Gauntlet, once again green…and now dressed in golden armor. "Hold him a moment longer, Gauntlet! KING OF BEASTS!"

The armor shifted on Beast Boy's form as he went down on all fours, charging and leaping through the air at Fracture. He connected, but Fracture quickly tossed him aside.

That just let Starfire bathe him in flame.

"Wheeee heee heeee heeeee!" Fracture said, and the blazing white light expanded from his body again.

"I REFUSE TO DIE AS A PRESUMABLY HOT GIRL!" Gauntlet yelled, and plunged into the incandescence.

Glass beneath his feet. Back at the crystal…

Wait, no. This wasn't the same. It wasn't a crystal floating in a weird dimension. It was just…a landscape made of glass…

The glass scar in the Sahara. Where the Lord had fallen (HA). Gauntlet had never actually been there…

And fortunately, if he ever did, he'd at least be in shoes he knew. His body was back to being male.

"Sweet! I missed you, organs!" Gauntlet said.

"That's nice, Gauntlet. Focus now." Robin said. Gauntlet glanced at Tim, and then looked again: Tim was dressed in a new, mostly red costume with a black hood.

"Nice arm…" Came another, new male voice. This time, the man was middle aged and appeared to be wearing some kind of body armor that the average SWAT or special forces team would wear. Besides that, his notable difference was the yellow and green arm attached to his left shoulder, said arm clearly not human and pulsing in a rather nauseating fashion.

"I never did appreciate my arm, before that empowered bastard tore it off…" Fracture said. "That scientist in the wrong end of town…I wonder if he would have still grafted this alien's limb on if he knew what a human mind with enough hate could do with it…hate and pain…more then enough for the whole universe…"

"This line again." Morgue said, back in costume and wielding a glowing red sword. "Gauntlet, get your arms up and let's go."

"What?" Gauntlet said, subconsciously trying to turn on the Gauntlet. It did, the golden-brown metal encasing one arm…and the black-purple metal encasing the other. "Huh?"

Gauntlet and Adamantine, synchronization complete.

"I wonder if drugs would make this look normal." Gauntlet said, and slammed his arms together, firing a blue and gold ray directly at Fracture. The reality-bender yanked up a chunk of glass to block it, only for the beam to push the shield instead of breaking it, slamming it back to Fracture. Fracture re-appeared near the ground from a warp, and met Tim's staff and Sophie's sword, the pair wailing on Fracture for a moment before he yanked more glass out of the ground and threw it at him.

"HASSAN CHOP!" Gauntlet yelled, leaping and bringing the twin energies down on Fracture. The world exploded in white again.

Actual sand this time, with the sound of drifting waves and a city nearby. Another place Gauntlet hadn't been but recognized. The beaches of Light City.

"Well, at least the illogical scenery is nice."

"Logic has long fled this place, Gauntlet." Cyborg said. Well, Gauntlet thought it was Cyborg. Instead of the half man half machine Gauntlet knew, this Cyborg seemed to be composed entirely of a red alien metal, with glowing eyes and spikes for hair. "We must be victorious to restore it. I do warn you though, you may have some difficulty here."

"What do you…" Gauntlet said, looking down.

His arm was bare. There was no Gauntlet. On top of that, he was dressed completely in black, with kunai strapped to his chest and a ninjato at his side.

"…Guess mom got me to do my ninja exercises in this reality." Gauntlet said. "Though considering the Gauntlet doing inexplicable things is what's kept me alive until now…oh nuts."

"Do you want…truly…inexplicable…" The rasping voice said. This time, Fracture appeared to be a withered infant with black pits for eyes, floating in a field of twisting rainbow energy. "Imagine being born…a second out of time…out of sync with normal reality…trapped outside…seeing the world…aging a year for every hundred that past…seeing more and more as time crawled on…seeing all the things I'd be condemned not to have, or how so many waste what they have…seeing it all…until doing became possible…to UNDO ALL THINGS."

"You know, if you're controlling all of these origins you keep making for yourself, and correct me if I'm wrong here, couldn't you give yourself a PLEASANT back-story?" Gauntlet said.

"Ha ha ha…control? You think…a mortal shell…can encompass all there is? No. All it can do is drive you mad. And TEAR IT ALL DOWN." Fracture said, firing off whirling spirals. Gauntlet jumped out of the way, hurling his kunai with unerring aim, but the metal daggers veered away from Fracture, even as the spiral projectiles struck the ground and tore away sections of the beach, sucking a five foot sphere of sand and dirt into nothingness before disappearing. Cyborg fired off several lasers from his body; these actually hit, but all the blows did was make Fracture scream and cause the ground to explode in front of him, throwing both Cyborg and Gauntlet back.

"So, next plan?" Gauntlet said.

A rock platform floated down near Gauntlet, who glanced up. Terra had changed quite a bit: she had a new black and white outfit that looked like a cross between Raven and Starfire's (minus a cloak), now had short black hair, and her body, usually thin and stick-like, had become considerably larger all around.

"Yeah! I'm gonna punch that baby in the face!" Terra said, and surged forward, calling up clawing fingers of sand.

"I heartily endorse this new Terra." Gauntlet said, even as Terra hurled appendages of sand at Fracture, only for it to be sucked up in more consuming voids. "Okay, you know what? This is getting old."

"Circumstances suggest victory impossible. Activating self-destruct." Cyborg said.

"Oh COME ON!" Gauntlet said, and seeing no other option, yanked out his blade and charged, leaping towards Fracture as the world went white again.

A tuxedo.

He was in a tuxedo.

He also appeared to be in the throne room of the royal palace of Tamaran.
"Oh sure, reality, go ahead and tease me."

"Reality does NO SUCH THING!" Scalpel cackled, his crazy red coat replaced with a white lab coat and a pair of thick goggles over his head. "Reality realizes! Actualizes! Sometimes it demonizes! Ahem, sorry Robert, lost control a moment."

"There's a lot of that going on, Scalpsano." Gauntlet said, looking at Fracture as he sat on the throne…wearing a purple and green outfit and mask that looked like a pack of Skittles had vomited on him. "Oh what now?"

"ONCE I WAS A MAN! I WORKED AT A PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANY!" Fracture said in a tone that made Scalpel's look sane. "I was the best employee in a study of what causes evil behavior! But then one day I fell into a vat of the evil-causing chemical that didn't have a top on it for some reason! And…it gave me cancer! My medical bills forced me to turn to crime! But as it turns out, I didn't need all the money I stole because I got a HUGGEEE settlement from the company! So I bought amazing time/space powers on Ebay!"

"…And why did you decide to wail on reality until it broke?" Gauntlet said.

"My wife left me for the doctor! And the lawyer! And the CEO of Ebay! SIMULTANEOUSLY!"

A loud clanking noise sounded next to Gauntlet. It turned out to be the feet of an armored mech war suit, whose faceplate opened to reveal Sophie.

"Well, that would probably make me mad too."

"SCIENCE!" Scalpel said, waving his arms as circuitry lit up on them. All the metal in the room was seized up and hurled at Fracture, who promptly lit himself on fire and melted most of it before throwing blasts of heat at the trio.

"Wait, what does this have to do with being on Tamaran? How did anyone get to Tamaran?"

"Please just shoot him or something Gauntlet!" Sophie said, one of her mech arms opening and a freezing beam striking Fracture.

"Uh…okay, let's see what THIS does!" Gauntlet said, pulling out a cell phone. The end opened up and shot metal wires into Fracture, the cell phone melting down as it delivered a massive jolt of electricity to Fracture.

"You call that a taser? THIS IS A TASER!" Scalpel yelled, pulling what looked like a giant plug from somewhere and zapping Fracture with a lightning bolt. The second blast not only blew Fracture out the wall, but blew out the whole wall behind him.

"Oh yeah? Well check out my…playing cards?" Gauntlet said, looking at the deck in his hand. Before he could puzzle them out, a massive shudder struck the castle, and Gauntlet looked up as a pair of giant hands reached into the whole and tore the entire roof off, revealing a gigantic Fracture towering above the trio.

"I FEEL BIG AGAIN!" Fracture thundered, slamming a hand down.

"ARGH! WHY!" Gauntlet said, his tone indicating he wasn't even asking a question any more, but rather using a substitute for a four letter word. Sophie took to the air and spun, ripping energies generating off her suit and tearing into Fracture's hand, but it didn't stop the downward motion, even as the world went white again.

The Golden Gate bridge. The cars on it were abandoned, the air eerily silent and the sun shrouded behind clouds.

"Oh COME ON!" Gauntlet said, his latest transformation appearing to be a short, human-like body dressed in green, most of the hair on his head having been moved to his feet. "Everything ELSE, you could see it as an alternate reality. But this is just totally random! There is no way we could be like this!"

"Can you fight, Gauntlet?" Robin said, his outfit now having some blue mixed in, replacing the green aspects of his normal costume.

"Well, as long as I have combat advantage, my sneak attack feat gives me an extra 2D6 damage, so sure, we'll give it a go."

"I think we may have some trouble getting ANY sort of advantage, dude." Beast Boy said, wearing a red and white costume and what appeared to be a pot with antenna on his head.

Several cars were hurled aside as the form rose up, a massive snake, the anaconda from hell, strange mechanical devices fused to its head that gave it a cobra-like fanning hood. Its sickly skin glowed with horrendous energies, the venom dripping from its fangs eating into the concrete beneath it.

"I AM…THE UROBOROS…THE SERPENT THAT DEVOURS TIME…THE GAMMA CONSTRICTOR." Fracture rasped through the reptile's mouth. "FLESH…EMOTIONS…POSSIBILITIES…ALL FOOD FOR MY JAWS."

"What about a breath mint?" Gauntlet said.

"Good idea." Robin said, as he picked up a car and sent it hurling end over end to bash Fracture upside the head. Gauntlet stared.

"Oh this is just not fair! All I have this sling! And some rocks!" Gauntlet said.

"Do your best." Robin said, flying up and lancing towards Fracture.

"Yeah, dude, I was a little jealous myself, but hey, he was the grieving moron who spliced his DNA's with Connor's. I'd say we made out pretty well." Beast Boy said. Fracture lashed out with its tail, bashing several more cars and sending them flying towards the pair, before Beast Boy held out his hands and sent waves of semi-visible force to knock them aside.

"Let's go!" Beast Boy said, before his body abruptly grew, the green teenager becoming fifty feet tall in a few seconds as he stomped down the bridge towards Fracture.

"…okay rocks, it's David and Goliath time!" Gauntlet said, running after Beast Boy. Fracture knocked Robin away as the giant was reaching him, Beast Boy grappling with the snake before Fracture rammed him into the side of the bridge, Beast Boy's massive form almost snapping through the cables and falling off. Fracture re-adjusted his position just in time for the smooth stone to bounce off his head, and he turned burning eyes towards Gauntlet.

"…HA. HA HA." Fracture said, needles of energy beginning to be drawn in around his head. Gauntlet saw the cars around Fracture abruptly become shiny and new, and then disappear, the road beneath him reverting to a far cruder stone and the metal bridge losing its color and shape.

"BEAM OF ACCELERATED CHRONO-PARTICLES BEATS ROCK!"

"ARGH!" Gauntlet yelled, leaping to the side. Even without his gauntlet, he made great air, the gray beam sweeping over where he had been. The cars caught in its blast rusted and crumbled, the bridge beneath it similarly breaking apart under the weight of ages. Gauntlet didn't bother watching any more, as Robin had returned to punch Fracture into the ground, head first, before the serpent lashed out with its tail and knocked Robin into Beast Boy.

Fracture brought its head up just in time for Gauntlet to ram his dagger into its eye and all the way into the time engines fused to its brain.

"KNIFE TO THE EYE BEATS MOST ANYTHING!"

Fracture shrieked, and everything exploded in white.

The ground was still cold, Gauntlet discovered, as he found himself sitting on the crystal, the Titans around him. Gauntlet's complaint was cut off when he realized he was back in his traditional outfit, complete with Gauntlet ring on his finger.

"Ah, my feet are smooth and sensuous again." Gauntlet said, looking around at the Titans. To his relief, they were all also back in their traditional outfits.

"I would celebrate…" Scalpel said, once again whole and without a Red Lantern ring, using his glaive to help himself up. "Except we're still here."

"And Noel and Raven are still missing." Morgue said, finally in the costume that made her worthy of the name.

"I can deal with that." Terra said, holding up her hands as her 'warstones' came out of her battle jacket. "Ha ha. Rock on."

"Yes…on a rock of ages…" Fracture said, and the Titans looked up at the time-manipulator, back in the form of Isolde Collins, the woman inspecting her hand. "Hmmm, this origin again. I wonder if that means something."

"It's the real origin, and reality is made of sterner stuff then you thought?" Gauntlet said.

"Ah, but that begs the question, Robert Candide…if I am the true self of all this…then how did you never have a clue I existed?"

"There are lots of people I don't have a clue exists. If I walk out of an airport in Paris, I guarantee I'll meet a bunch of people I didn't know exist. Don't read too much into things." Gauntlet said.

"Well put, Robert." Robin said, the Titans assembling around him. "All right Fracture. You've tried to bury us in possibilities and what-ifs. Why don't you just give us back our teammates and erase yourself from existence if your powers are such a misery?"

"Hmmmmmm…hmmmmmm. Nah." Fracture said, rainbow energy surging from her form.

"All right then…" Robin said. "TITANS…!"

"I said, 'NAH'." Fracture said, and snapped her fingers.

WARNING: FANFICTION DOT NET FILE CORRUPTED. RETRIEVING REMAINING FRAGMENTS.

"Have some more!' Gauntlet yelled, Starfire firing energy into his Gauntlet hand as he hurled the converted spears at Fracture.

...

"WE GOT IT NIGE!" Cyborg whooped as he and Nigel flew through the air, their feet slamming into the crystal target.

...

"By the logic of relativity, a bullet fired at near-light speed gains nearly infinite mass. How well do you think you would shrug that off, Richard?" Morgue said, and pulled the trigger.

...

"I am a human being. FIND OUT WHAT THAT ENTAILS!" Robin roared, and tore the creature's heart out.

...

"THIS…IS A DOOM HOUSE!" Terra yelled, bringing the structure crashing down on Fracture.

...

(WRITER'S NOTE: WOW! That was the best fight scene I ever wrote! 300 pages! Sure it took me six months and gave me carpal tunnel, but it was WORTH IT!)

With a nearly silent groan, Starfire crumpled to the ground, joining the limp and ravaged bodies of all her teammates.

"There we go! Through all the hugga-mugga and right to the ending!" Fracture said, and skipped off. Gauntlet blinked through blackened eyes, wondering if he could still move his jaw.

"…If I…didn't know better…I could swear she just fast-forwarded through our epic last stand."

"Yep!" Fracture tossed over her shoulder.

"Lord…she's like Deadpool…except without anything that makes Deadpool…Deadpool."

("Hey, he said my name three times! Can I come out of a mirror and demand royalties?"

"It's a fanfic, Wade."

"Yeah well your mom's…a fanfic…eh, if you aren't paying me, I'm not gonna give you A Material.")

"Funny how life works, doesn't it? All those dangers and threats…and what happens? The universe gives some random person everything, and they decide to tear it all apart. And somehow it involves you. Your lives just plain suck." Fracture said. "So, anyone want to go first?"

Gauntlet coughed a small amount of blood onto the ground, and somehow found himself standing up.

It couldn't end this way. It would end some day, and in many possible ways…but Gauntlet wasn't going to let it be this way.

"Oh, the clown. Okay!" Fracture said, holding up a hand, gathering her rainbow energies.

"…I asked you to do something…after all this, all she did…all I'm asking…is for the other shoe to drop. You can't just…pull this crap…without consequences…!" Gauntlet said. "Quite frankly…after all the reset buttons and reality changes you allowed to let yourself continue…I don't expect you to just roll over and take it…so…I have the magic…dance magic…something…ANYTHING!" Gauntlet said, and thrust out his hand.

He felt a faint quiver in his arm, and then the light on the Gauntlet went dead.

"…fiddlesticks." Gauntlet said.

Black light bloomed in Fracture's power…

Turning into a tumbling black form that landed on her.

"…did I just summon Dorothy?" Gauntlet said.

A wave of power erupted off Fracture, sending the yelling form tumbling through the air. It did a quick flip before landing, its feet dragging across the ground.

"What the…did I actually take the wrong turn at Albuquerque?" Metatron said.

"Oh god damnit, HIM again? I didn't think he existed!" Gauntlet yelled.

"Oh, are we at the point in the timeline when I get erased from existence? I always liked that bit. Nice, dramatic, and heartfelt." Metatron said. "Not a dry eye in the room. Soft, tear-jerking orchestra playing my last goodbyes too."

"And you'll be in my heart…" Phil Collins sang on a nearby piano.

"Oh god not you." Metatron said, blasting the musician away. A moment later, Fracture's amused laughter drifted over to the pair, even as the other, fallen Titans watched in confusion.

"Ha ha ha…really? The chaos-spawn? This is what you link up with the universe to manifest as a last resort? Really?" Fracture said.

"She's mean." Metatron said.

"Yeah, look, my dumb malfunctioning armkerjigger summoned you, so make like a good pokemon and fire a hyperbeam up her god moding Sue ass!"

"Her? Wow, Ricky got a makeover this year. You know, I saw it coming." Metatron said, even as he began to run.

"I am not the Lord, morningchylde. He pales in comparison. I am everything, and nothing, and now, you will be nothing too." Fracture said, thrusting out her hands and firing waves of rainbow energy.

The power washed over Metatron…whose only result was making his hair grow a few inches.

"…pardon?" Fracture said.

"Oh yeah, I've become unstuck from the natural flow of time and my own dimension. It's how I got dragged here. Also, you know time/space mucking-with powers? Because of what I've become, they're kinda iffy with me." Metatron said, running towards Fracture. "NOW WE KUNG FU FIGHT!"

"Oh reality better magic me up like FIVE girlfriends when we're done with this to make up for today!"

"Well, there's a chance of that. You have like three candidates as it is." Metatron said, twirling and dodging around Fracture's blasts, steadily zig-zagging towards her. 'Like, the ninja chick with the great legs. Or the ninja chick with the great chest. Or Amy." Metatron said, doing one final flip and twirl to land on Fracture's shoulders. "You know, Amy? Girl next door? Wants to have your baby? Oh wait, you don't know that yet do you? Well, she does."

"WHAT?"

"Oh don't worry about it. Chances are we'll all forget this ever happened by the end of it anyway." Metatron said. Fragments of the crystal floor broke off and flew towards the half-demon, who leapt off to dodge them, landing and doing the jazz hands flourish afterwards. "Either that or you'll just conveniently forget THIS bit of info."

"Wait, I don't know ANY ninjas! Regardless of the quality of their body parts!"

"Really? You need to bond with your mom more!" Metatron said, dodging more blasts of entropy. "Incidentally, I liked the one with the great legs! What's with you? Breasts aren't everything you know. Way to rise above your gender, Rob! Also, YOU."

Metatron leapt and rolled in, getting face to face with Fracture.

"I've been trying to turn your brain to ash for the past forty seconds. Now, my usual brand of enemy is commonly immune to that, but you aren't like that, are you? So why isn't it working again?"

The crack of the blow echoed across the crystal as Metatron went flying. Gauntlet barely managed to catch him in a way that didn't knock both of them over.

"Ow. I think she Star-punched me. Or used a limit break. Or…some other video game reference I suddenly feel the urge to say." Metatron said.

"DAMNIT, SOMEONE START TALKING STRAIGHT OR ELSE I'LL SNAP!" Gauntlet yelled.

"You are not the last great hope, Metestasnathean." Fracture said. "Maybe my powers can't work well on you, but they still work well on me. You were right. This is where your existence is erased."

"Then I demand Coldplay's Viva La Vida to play in the background. That song is so me, you know?" Metatron grinned, steam erupting from his pores as he dashed forward.

"THAT'S IT! I'M SNAPPING!" Gauntlet roared, and formed a prosthetic leg with yellow energy before he also charged in, babbling insane nonsense.

"Wow. Five minutes with me is all it took to break Rob." Metatron said, looking pleased.

The look faded when Fracture warped over and seized him by the throat. With a wave of her hand, a rainbow energy wave washed over Gauntlet.

For about three seconds, Gauntlet got the unique experience of what it felt like to be turned inside out. The experience was not painful, but it still stopped him cold, falling to his knees.

"Not good enough." Fracture said, and slammed Met into the ground.

Gauntlet wasn't really watching, his sight having blurred, and unconsciousness beckoning to him. The calm, comforting darkness.

Another yell and the sight of Metatron falling and crashing to the ground in front of him quickly destroyed the appeal of the notion.

"You know…you can still help." Metatron said.

"Right…you got any ideas? I've been slogging against this for like…well, I have no idea, because my watch and cell phone got lost when I was a girl in a miniskirt…but back on topic. Progress is not being made."

"Well, my usual strategy of hitting things until something cool or implausible happens isn't working either." Metatron said, still flat on his back. "By gum, a victory we actually have to earn? This might be the greatest fight of our generation."

"So. How do you deal with an enemy that knows what you do before YOU know it?"

"You do something so ridiculously half-cocked and retarded the enemy can either stare stupefied at how ridiculous we are, making them easy pickings, or laugh so much at our stupidity, she dies with a smile on her face, making us the nicest killers since the Joker." Metatron said. "Or she lets us do this retarded idea, and we die horribly as a result of it, which is the thing that would probably happen. So I'm going back to my usual strategy of hitting things."

"…thanks for the help, by the way." Gauntlet said. "Whatever happens, I don't like you, 'cause you sorta steal the show whenever you come around, but…well, you're welcome to this nonsense."

"Well that's good to hear from your possible deathmate! Maybe now you can stop failing and think of a plan! Time and space are completely out to lunch! Anything's possible! You're all a smart lot, think of something new!" Metatron said, flipping to his feet and looking at Fracture, who had seemingly been standing there waiting. "I'M A TARGET! LOOK AT ME, I'M A TARGET!" Metatron said, running back in.

"True to yourself to the end." Fracture said, and blurred through the air, another cracking blow sending Metatron flying.

"…what was I thinking…" Gauntlet said. "Really, what…I mean…"

"You're all a smart lot…time and space are out to lunch!"

"…That's it. It's stupid, but logic is CLEARLY on vacation in the Poconos!…wow, I have the Poconos on the brain today. I guess I should go there after I complete Operation Shouldn't Work According To Science!"

"You always were an intriguing specimen, chaosling." Fracture said. Metatron had gotten back up, and with a clap of his hands sent waves of burning heat washing over Fracture; the time-weaver ignored it. "But not enough to stave off the inevitable."

"Really? Then let me tell you about my morning!" Met replied, cracking his neck as he began leisurely walking around, acting like his injuries didn't bother him the slightest. "It begins with me waking up to my alarm clock in the shape of an imploding sun that's taking the Earth with it. Stopped that with several thousand miles of string and a LOT of matches. But oh, no, then it was time to deal with the New Jersey sized chunk of ice collapsing down on…New Jersey, 'cause Mab was being emotional. Stopped THAT the same way. Then came the Barrens, the Screams to Y'thul, the Screams of Morgan Freeman, the Silence-for a change-of the Morning, and Smoothie Break! Of course, afterwards I ran into a friend of mine who was desperately trying to save his new fez-which, as it turns out, are apparently cool-from laser-wielding curly-haired madwomen. That one was sorta easy, as all it took was his redhead friend trying to have sex with me for some reason. Then came the year I spent trapped in a completely organically-deserted planet with no other company than a diluted version of a creature whose very existence is such a complete and total antithesis to everything in creation, it makes your adorable belief that you can 'end everything' just the PERFECT joke to tell it over drinks. It was bored and decided a good way to spend the rest of existence was to try to drive me insane. It did. I got better. Then I blew up the planet and got away. Immediately following that, I found myself saving this kid some guys wanted to sacrifice to… do something. I never did bother to find out before I left. Did get stabbed on the chest for it, though. Now, you're probably thinking that this is a big spiel leading up to me telling you that I don't stave off the inevitable, that SLAPPING the inevitable in the rear and then laugh at it, before feeling bad, having a change of heart and getting it some therapy, is what I do every minute of every day. But no, that's not what I'm getting at, that's simply what's implied. What's important is what comes next. I get home, and Ryce makes me pancakes. In a thong," Met pauses, smiling pleasantly. "And those… are GREAT pancakes. Moreso with a beautiful girl curling up in your lap. And as I leave again, she clings to me and snuggles, giving me that cute, shy, small smile she gives only to me… and says 'you know how happy you make me?'"

Metatron tilted his head, his eyes shinning and faraway, to the point where Fracture wondered if he was still even aware she was there.

"And she says it in such a strange, tentative, mildly-confused tone. Like she didn't realize that could happen. And then we say good-bye with a syrup-flavored kiss."

Metatron's eyes snapped to meet with the time-weaver's.

"…And you know what? She wants to do it all again tomorrow." Metatron said, smiling softly. "Making your adorable small-minded machinations, little thing, completely worthless. There'll be a tomorrow. And I'll be eating pancakes in it. Now come on. Rant done. Blast me away and do the 'hahahah, you so stupid' thing that people ALWAYS think will matter. See you in several dozen lines when you get beaten."

"…like I said. Always fascinating." Fracture said, raising a hand. "But it doesn't fix your problem."

"What if WE fixed the problem?" Gauntlet said.

"Oh, have you gotten some of your friends…" Fracture said, turning around.

For the first time, a look of stunned surprise dawned on her face.

"You might say that." Gauntlet said.

"…what did you do?" Fracture said.

"It's what YOU did, Fracture. You completely violated every law of sense and sensibility. Probably why my Gauntlet was able to do all these neat tricks. It's a tool made to fix things, and desperate times call for desperate measures. And since you're so damn overpowered and cheap that it's clear none of us can defeat you, well…" Gauntlet said, gesturing around himself. "I just had to work out a proper way to define NONE."

Gauntlet was no longer alone. The Titans had not stood up to join him though (they had, however, stood up).

Instead, Gauntlet was now surrounded by hundreds of new forms.

Forms that, even for all their myriad of different looks, were all united in one surefire aspect. They were all, in some way, Gauntlet.

"So I figure, you like playing que sera, sera? Then maybe with all the damage you've done, I can just show off every single BE that COULD be." Gauntlet said. "So step away from the spotlight stealer. I'm sure a few of us don't like him, but we're ALL sick of you."

"…heh. This doesn't change anything. This…" Fracture said, before she jerked her head to the side.

Gauntlet hadn't said anything to his teammates, but sometimes words were not needed to inspire. Or to make one understand what had to be done.

For all the other Titans had begun multiplying as well, spectral forms shooting off their bodies and solidifying around them.

"No! No! Stop it!" Fracture yelled, firing blasts at the rapidly growing number of people, creatures, and elsewise around her. Her attacks did nothing to stem the tide of Titans, the army swiftly growing into the thousands.

"Well what do you know." Metatron said, now the only Titan all by his lonesome. "It just took more punches then usual."

Fracture turned and fired off another beam of entropy. This time, the attack turned Metatron's outfit yellow.

"…Do I get dual key-blades too?"

"TITANS, ALL TOGETHER NOW!" Gauntlet yelled.

Fracture flew up into the air and fired off more entropy blasts, as well as several other projectile attacks. The offense cut dozens of Titans down, but the rest of the army took their place, swarming Fracture under an endless, ferocious offensive rain. Fracture's shrieking defiance grew every second, but it didn't make the Titan legions waver in the slightest.

"STOP IT! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I DESERVE THIS! YOU WON'T TAKE IT AWAY! YOU WON'T!" Fracture screamed, redoubling her efforts, and then redoubling them again.

"WE CAN AND WE WILL!"

The Titans rained down another hammer-storm of attacks, and across Fracture's body cracks began to erupt. Gauntlet could feel the sheer pressure bearing down on him, the overwhelming weight of the energies Fracture was channeling.

Maybe if she'd had actual experience to go with her power, things would have been different. But for all her mastery of time, experience was something that Fracture hadn't thought she'd needed more of.

Cracks of light began streaming from her body, even as the Titans continued their assault. Fracture had stopped even trying to defend, floating in place, her mouth open in a silent scream.

"…well, now what?" A Beast Boy said.

"KEEP HITTING HER!" Gauntlet yelled, and reared back and fired the biggest yellow energy fist he could muster up directly into the time-weaver.

An odd jolt ran down Gauntlet's arm.

"Time. Can you actually kill it?" Fracture said.

A load roaring whoosh sounded in Gauntlet's ears, even as Fracture's form completely vanished, streams of rainbow light engulfing all the Titans.

"Survey says: Shut up." Gauntlet replied.

Once again, the white consumed all.

The first thing Gauntlet heard as he opened his eyes was the sound of his shower running.

Jerking up, Gauntlet looked around at his room and the bed he was in. Just like when this had started.

Except this time, his shower was running.

Gauntlet sprang out of bed, taking a second to yank on some pants and a shirt before he advanced over to the shower, Gauntlet at the ready as he went into the bathroom and pulled open the shower door.

"Really, Gauntlet? Head and Shoulders?" Metatron said, standing there as he washed the last of the shampoo out of his eyes. "I didn't know you had dandruff."

"Exactly." Gauntlet said, closing the door and heading back out. Several seconds later, Metatron followed, having dried off via his powers, said following a series of hops as he got his pants on.

"Hope you don't mind me using the shower. Ryce hates it when I come out of a near-erasure of everything smelling rank."

"Oh, no problem. That just happened, right?"

"What just happened?"

"That Crisis on Finite Earths? Countdown to Randomness? A Civil War that pitted geometry against causality in a duel to the death? I don't know WHAT to call it."

"Oh yeah. That happened." Metatron said. "No one knows it did except you and me, but it happened. Heck, I'll bet even you and me have forgotten tiny bits and pieces of it. You probably don't remember about Amy…"

"Amy? What about Amy?"

"Exactly." Metatron said, pulling his upper half of his costume on. "And I don't remember…whatever I don't remember."

"You don't remember about that fifty bucks you owe me."
"Nope, I don't. You're right about that." Metatron said, digging into his pockets. "Here, have Noel's credit card."

"I don't remember you taking this…and this is a Bat-Credit Card." Gauntlet said.

"What can I say? He's really into Batman." Metatron said, shrugging.

"…Y'know what REALLY bugged me?" Gauntlet said. "I haven't seen a story so flimsy since Slade's early fights with the team. I have NO idea what Fracture was after, there was no REAL motivation. Things just happened, and then they DIDN'T happen. It's funny how you take causality for granted until you don't have it any more!"

"Oh this happened all across the DC Universe. Amazing stuff. Probably would need at least nine issues. Crossover with everything." Metatron said. "Probably caused some changes. Who knows what changes. You should be thankful that some changes don't stick around. Like after that mess with the Anti-Monitor and Billy Batson's codeword becoming 'Oi Vey' for several months, remember that? You don't. Or when Cass Cain decided her sudden love for illiteracy until the end of time after reading Twilight…and then became evil for some reason. That didn't make sense. But then the Amazons attacked! …Also didn't make much sense. Sometimes, you gotta take the weirdness, and be grateful for the good, and for the Justice League, always watching over us…from their underwater base below the polar caps. Good for stealth and strategizing against alien attacks. Well, at least they don't float around in the atmosphere like total jackasses saying 'COME GET US, ALIEN MENACES. I DARE YOU.' I'm just glad they took care of last month's vampire plushie menace that wanted to eat girl's ovaries…What the hell was that about anyway?"

"All of that went RIGHT over my head." Gauntlet said.

"As it should."

"So…only you and I remember this happened. Why us?" Gauntlet said.

"Well, like I said. I've been unstuck from any set path. When things go and re-organize everything down to the last atom, I always get missed." Metatron said. "You? You got me. Maybe it has something to do with your gauntlet. Limits only defined by the wearer, and all. Or maybe the mechanics of these worlds like your hair and decide to make you special because of it. You know, like on Tamaran."

"Ugh. Don't remind me of THAT nonsense."

"Sure. What else can we complain about? How underused the rest of the Titans seemed in this tale? Well, except Sophie, that was badass what she did with the gun. How about the briefness of your solution to the problem? I'm sure also that girl will be mad her favorite shipping couple didn't even get any lines and…uh oh." Metatron said. "Yeah, looks like I'm on my way again. Now that I'm done being shifted into this, I'm going back to wherever else I was headed. I guess you'll have to tell the others about what happened. If you want to."

"Psht. They never believe me about this sort of stuff. I'll just add a file on everything about Fracture in case she ever shows up again."

"I think you kinda erased her from all planes of existence."

"And I spent parts of today with boobs or furry feet. I'm taking NOTHING for granted."

"Right then." Metatron said, golden sparks beginning to fly from his body. "I'm off! So MAYYYY THE SCHHWARTTTZZZ BE WITH YOUUU OHWOWOWOWOW what a world what a world…!"

In one swift distortion, Metatron's body seemed to collapse on itself, swirling up and vanishing from Gauntlet's room with a slight popping noise.

"…Right then. Well, back to…nothing in particular." Gauntlet said, walking over and sitting on his bed. "I think I deserve a DS break. You know what, I think I'll actually challenge Fire Man first this…"

A loud rapping noise sounded behind Gauntlet, specifically at his window. More specifically, it had wrapped out the famous five-tone song from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

"…unless that's who I think it is, I have NO patience for being probed." Gauntlet said, getting up and walking over to the window before opening the blinds.

A white-gloved hand waved at him, attached to a green arm. Before Gauntlet could react further, the alien superhero known as Miss Martian used his intangibility power to phase her upper body through the armored window.

"Hi Rob! Oh, you're up! I was worried I'd have mixed up the AM's and PM's again!" Miss Martian said. "So, you're setting the itinerary for your day off today, what's happening?"

"Well, Megan, humans are diurnal. So unless there's caffeine and video games involved, it's safe to say we'll be up when the sun's up. As for today…y'know what I'm in the mood for? Let's just go to the park or something. I want to take some time to smell the roses just to prove to myself there's something real out there."

"Sure!" Miss Martian said, phasing back out. Gauntlet was about to turn around when she phased back in.

"Oh yes, trying a new lip gloss. What do you think?" Miss Martian said, reaching up and pulling Gauntlet in for a close-in inspection with lasted several seconds.

"Hmmm, strawberry kiwi? I think it's a nice choice, but I wouldn't mind getting some more samples…"

"Aw aw, you said you didn't want to get probed today." Miss Martian said, shaking a finger before phasing out, smiling mischievously at Gauntlet, and then flying up and out of sight.

"…I would almost swear I'm somehow mentally affecting her, but…nah." Gauntlet said. "Hm. Okay, so…what's the difference between what I saw and what's going on here? What if something changed and I didn't know it? Oh god, what if, right this minute, I'm still that magical girl version of me and Ms. Martian was a lesbian all along! Time to investigate!"

A quick trip to the mirror in Gauntlet's room confirmed this was not true.

"Phew, nope, still me." Gauntlet said, looking at the mirror. "I guess I just can't worry about it. If I don't think anything's changed, then I guess it hasn't. And I don't feel existential enough to assume this is all a dream."

"No." Fracture said, appearing from nowhere behind Gauntlet, causing him to whirl around in horror. "It's NOT."

Hands crashed through the window, and Gauntlet was pulled screaming into the dark.

THE END

…Okay not really.

Gauntlet stared at the mirror. He had a strange feeling that he was still missing something.

"My weird movie reference sense is tingling." Gauntlet said, walking back to his bed and picking up his DS once more. "I'd better have that looked at."

THE REAL END