Disclaimer: Bioware owns all. I just get to play with their characters.

A/N: Thanks to my betas, drakontion and Nevara Alyss, for their assistance and extra pair of eyes, and to Star for brainstorming with me. I think you all may have helped create a monster. FYI, I did not download Kasumi, so she will not be featured.

Chapter 1

Captain's Personal Log: 0405-2186 C.E.

We've received orders from Admiral Hackett to put in at Gagarin Station instead of Arcturus. I think he wants us to keep as low a profile as possible, and that might be possible for any other Corsair, but Jump Zero is barely a blip on the ladar anymore. I wonder how subtle we're really going to be. Stealth will only go so far, and a beat-up SR2 is like a glaring sign that just screams attention. Granted she's performing up to spec, but she needs a new paint job in the worst way.

We've got orders to take on new crew too. Can't say I'm too happy about that, but at least I was able to keep most of my specialists. Jack and Zaeed jumped ship as soon as we landed on Omega, but I wasn't surprised. Zaeed's contract was over and it's not like Cerberus was going to keep paying him after we blew the station. Jack, well, I was surprised she stayed as long as she did. I suspect she's looking to cut loose and have some more fun, but with less suicidal odds.

Crew members Millard, Johns, and Hadley have decided to discontinue their service on the Normandy and will disembark once we reach the station. It was surprising that more of the crew didn't choose to depart seeing as how they were under contract with Cerberus. I admit that I'm disappointed, but I understand why they're leaving. Hadley had family on Ferris Fields and Millard hasn't been the same since the Collectors abducted him. Johns never did give a reason, but it's not my place to grill him – I'll leave that to Ms. Chambers.

I've got additional information on the replacements courtesy of the Shadow Broker. Hackett failed to provide thorough details and their military records only contain the standard bullshit. Apparently, two are highly trained communications specialists. Another is an engineer, specializing in cybernetics and AI. I think I'll get him set up in the lab after I drop Mordin off on Sur'Kesh. The fourth was actually in the N7 program but never graduated and the specific details were left off the Alliance report. I'll be interested to see what the Broker has on him.

The new specialist that has me the most concerned is Alenko. Granted he did put in his time with the SR1, on Eden Prime, on the Citadel, and he's worked with some of the crew before, but his antagonism toward Cerberus could complicate things. What am I saying? His antagonism toward me has complicated things. Professionally, I agree with his appointment to the Normandy. He has the military skill and political savvy that could be of great use to us, especially in the Corsair program. Personally, it's another matter altogether.

Every one of my former team members accepted me and my "resurrection" without hesitation. Alenko called me a traitor, and then sent me a piss poor message trying to excuse his reaction on Horizon. I expected more from Kaidan.

A sharp beep sounded from overhead and Shepard looked up with a start.

"Approaching Gagarin Station, Commander." Joker's voice chirruped through the speaker. "ETA in ten minutes."

"I'm on my way." Shepard punched in a quick sequence of buttons, saving the progress on her current log, and flicked the off switch. She stood and stretched out her stiff back, ignoring the sharp pain that still occasionally shot through her side, a memento from her attack on the Collector base. While it had been almost a full month and her wound had healed over, the commander still felt her body's distress, a reminder how close she had come to dying yet again.

The chime sounded softly as she entered the elevator, exiting swiftly upon arriving at the CIC. The familiar flickering glare of the bright lights assaulted her heightened senses and her head began to pound. Shepard huffed, irritated that she did not have enough time to visit Dr. Chakwas.

Yeoman Chambers stood at her post, her normally cheerful demeanor more subdued since her abduction. She opened her mouth to catch Shepard's attention, but the commander brushed past without acknowledging her presence, strides swift and long, anxious to get to Joker's side for their arrival at Jump Zero. It had become tradition that she be up front when they arrive portside.

A tinny voice sounded from the comm. unit as Shepard approached the helm. "Gagarin Station Control to Normandy, we have you on our scope. Prepare to receive docking coordinates."

"Roger that, Control," Joker answered smoothly. "Receiving transmission now."

"Normandy, you are cleared for landing at docking bay 342."

"Affirmative, Control. Adjusting approach vectors."

A stream of instructions rolled down the glowing control panel, scanned and interpreted by EDI. The metal monstrosity that was Jump Zero dominated the observation console, blocking out the weak light from distant stars and shedding a dank shadow. Normandy's gears whined softly and the smooth hum of the engines died down to an inaudible drone. The SR2 shuddered slightly as the docking clamps took hold, securing their berth. The boarding ramp attached to the airlock with a familiar hiss, an air tight seal in place.

"Be advised, Normandy, you have crew awaiting your arrival." The tin voice of the controller sounded hollow in the commander's ears. She gripped Joker's chair for support, an overwhelming torrent of emotion threatening to break her control.

Shepard let out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding and looked down to catch Joker's eye. He shrugged nonchalantly, returning his attention to Gagarin Control's docking instructions. The commander pursed her lips, but said nothing. Joker had grown more morose in the last month, his usual humor had diminished and turned sour. It was another reminder that she was not the only one to suffer ill effects from the "suicide mission."

Shepard straightened, ignoring the throbbing pain in her head and the churning of her gut, and turned her attention to the metal reverberations coming down the gangway. Miranda approached the commander and eyed her curiously, but said nothing. Secretly, Shepard was glad that she was present, but her pride would never allow an open admission.

"Staff Commander Alenko and company requesting permission to board, Commander." EDI's synthesized voice cut through the silence in the cockpit and Shepard ignored the growing tightness in her chest. The commander inhaled deeply, tightening her white-knuckled grip on Joker's chair, readying herself for the expected drama to come.

"Permission granted." Her voice was calm despite the raging inferno inside, a testament to her many years of training.

Miranda focused her attention on the airlock doors ahead, her posture rigid and unwelcoming, hands clasped behind her. Shepard found it oddly comforting that Miranda might be just as uncomfortable as she was with the changes in the status quo. Of course Miranda usually seemed rigid and unwelcoming, so it was difficult to truly ascertain her emotional status. Only the slight fluttering of her fingertips betrayed any hint of apprehension.

A series of electronic buzzes accompanied the muffled shuffling of footsteps within the decontamination chamber. Shepard exhaled slowly, and after a short pause, the door hissed open revealing the Normandy's five new crew members.

They stared blankly at first, awkwardly waiting in the cramped compartment, none ready to board without a verbal invite from the CO. Shepard found that she relished their obvious unease, imposing on their discomfort as they had imposed upon her command. It would not be easy at first, given the general nature of their assignment, but these Alliance marines would need to integrate into the Normandy crew. Shepard smiled inwardly as she remembered the quarters in which they were to reside.

"Welcome aboard the Normandy SR2." The empty words dripped from Shepard's lips. She swallowed the catch in her throat and forced herself to continue. "I am Commander Shepard and this is my Chief Operations Officer Miranda Lawson."

Miranda nodded slightly in acknowledgment but remained silent. Shepard felt the urge to growl at her, annoyed with her inability to provide a proper distraction.

"She will show you to your quarters." Eyes, both familiar and foreign sought her attention and Shepard felt her chest tighten once more. She gestured roughly to Miranda, eager to redirect the focus of the marines.

"If you'll follow me please," Miranda's accented voice cut crisply through the air, the attention of all but one of the marines diverted. Staff Commander Alenko tilted his head toward Shepard in acknowledgment, and hefting his bag, followed the rest of his crew into the Normandy's interior.

The commander watched him go, his presence still all too familiar. Joker exhaled loudly beside her, his chair swiveling slowly as he followed her gaze.

"Just when you thought things couldn't get any more complicated…" he quipped.

EDI's blue avatar winked gently into existence. "I do not understand, Jeff. The Alliance crewmembers will replace those individuals who wish to leave, as well as provide insurance that we will continue to receive funding. Data analysis suggests that given the number of current crewmembers previously employed by the Systems Alliance, integration will be relatively swift."

Joker waved off her explanation and turned his chair around, focusing his attention once more on Control's incoming information. Shepard frowned, attempting to ignore EDI, although her rationale was sound. She had no doubt that the marines' integration would be seamless, otherwise she would never have agreed to such a compromise.

The commander took a moment to compose herself once more, prioritizing the duties that required her attention. First things first, however; she needed to review the documents that Liara had secured for her before staffing later today. She had a bit of time to spare, as the marines would need to settle into their quarters, but she imagined they would become restless after a while. Shepard intended to discover everything she could about them before they were allowed access to the rest of the ship. Nobody, no matter their training or familiarity, would wander her ship without her express consent. She needed to settle her nerves and the best way to do that was to bury her attention in dossiers.

A growing ruckus in the CIC drew her attention. A small crowd had gathered around the elevator and Shepard recognized the three men who had decided to end their tour. The commander ambled down the gangway and into the command center, purposely avoiding undue attention in order to observe the good-byes of the crew.

Crewman Hadley spotted her and made his way through the crowd of well-wishers to her side, extending his hand in greeting. Shepard shook it warmly, a soft smile on her face.

"It's been an honor to serve under you, Commander."

Shepard nodded and choked back a memory, the tightness in her chest returning. "I'm sorry you decided to go, Hadley. You'll be missed."

The crewman smiled sadly and shouldered his duffle bag, heading to the cockpit to bid Joker farewell. Crewman Millard approached Shepard next and saluted smartly. Shepard returned the gesture and then extended her hand. Millard pumped it vigorously, but was roughly pushed aside as Crewman Johns brushed hurriedly past them.

"I guess someone's in a hurry," he snorted.

Shepard watched Johns' rapid retreat from the CIC, the fear and anxiety plain on his face and in his wake. She recognized that look and the intensity of his emotion just as well as anyone else on her crew; to act on those emotions, though, had never crossed her mind.

Shepard returned her attention to the man before her. "You've got a home here anytime you decide to come back, Millard."

Millard nodded and smiled but remained silent. He departed; echoes of farewell followed him up the walk and out the airlock, his last mission on the Normandy now complete. Shepard once again adjusted her focus and turned to the matter at hand. She had reports to review.