a/n: I do not own hetalia.

An Island From Hell

Chapter One: New Roommates

Norway's P.O.V.:

The blonde Norwegian stares at the plane in front of him. He is currently in a belted navy blue sailor shirt with matching pants and a matching hat. His mother's choice. She thinks it will help him make friends…but he isn't all too sure if he wants the type of friends that dressing up like a little boy will get him. Call him crazy, but he doesn't believe those are good people. Possibly even perverts.

Damn his mother and her 'you're my little baby boy and always will be! So cute no matter what!' mentality. He lets out a quiet sigh and boards the plane. "Goodbye Tore! Be safe! Look out for creepy old men! Remember; if a grown man wants to be your friend, it's only for an hour and in bed!" His mother yells and Tore inwardly cringes as the people around him on the small plane stare at him.

Landing:

Tore gets off the plane on the new island and looks around. He grabs his luggage; two suitcases on wheels, a backpack on his back and another wheeled backpack. He's not going back home, so naturally he brought all of his things.

Grabbing a piece of paper out of his pocket he looks at the address of his new home. It's not a dorm like a normal teenager would get when moving to a new, famous, high school. No, he's moving into a house. When he decided to move here he looked up listings and found a place with another teen. His mom said she'd pay the first few months rent, or however long it takes him to get a job.

On his way to the new address he gets lost and runs into a tall man with blonde hair and a serious look on his face. "Excuse me." Tore calls out and the man looks over at him in a way Tore could only describe as intense. "Yes?" "I'm looking for this address…" The man looks at the paper and points to the right. "Go that way. The house you're looking for is a long, one story brown house. Watch out for the kid who owns it." The man says the last statement bitterly and then heads off on his way.

Tore shrugs and walks on, eventually finding the house. It's as the intimidating man said; the house is a beautiful one story brown house, very long and VERY well taken care of. You would never even guess a teen so much as lived here, let alone actually owned the house. There are well-trimmed bushes around the front porch and flowers lining the sidewalk.

Tore heads to the front door, only to discover there is a crack in the sidewalk of the perfect house. All at once, his suitcases flop around causing his wrist to be yanked around and his footing to go and him to fall-right into a beautifully trimmed bush. Amazing. Fucking. Great.

He groans and goes to get up, only to lose his footing and fall back down again. "Well, I've never grown something like this before!" Tore looks up to see a boy with a grin that can only be described as annoying and wild, messy, blonde hair. "…" The boy shrugs off Tore's silence and continues. "So, how are you?" "Fine." Tore says blankly and the man laughs. "You hide it well!" "I try."

The boy leans over and grabs Tore's hand, pulling him up. "I'm Mathias Køhler…who are you?" "Your new plant. Remember?" Tore says blankly and Mathias laughs. "So tell me; what kind of plant are you?" Mathias asks, still holding Tore's hand. "The kind that can't be touched." He says calmly before yanking his hand away and grabbing some of his bags, Mathias taking the others, and heading inside.

"So, you gonna tell me your name now!" Mathias asks happily and Tore stares at him blankly. "…I guess…I'm Tore Stoltenburg. I'm from Norway." "I'm from Denmark!" Tore looks at him confused. "And that matters…why?" "W-well you said where you're from. So I-!" "I only told you because I might end up speaking in my foreign tongue if you piss me off." Mathias frowns for a second before grabbing Tore's arm and dragging him down a hall. "Well, let me show you to your new room!" "I don't need an escort…"

They arrive at the room and it is huge. Not only huge, but very well taken care of. The only problem Tore can find is that there is no bed. He looks over to Mathias, who is still grinning. "Are there any blankets or something for me to sleep on tonight?" Mathias pretends to think for a second before looking at Tore. "The only thing we have is my bed. So I guess…" "Couch it is." Tore says and pushes him out of the room.

Dinner:

Tore comes out of his room to the smell of the Norwegian dish Kjøttkaker, a meatball dish served in brown sauce with a side of, from the smell of it, potatoes this time. He looks in the kitchen and sees the hyper older teen running around and preparing the food. Tore notices the high flame on the gravy and sighs, going up and turning it down. "You'll burn it." "Ah! Out of your room finally! I thought I scared you away!" Mathias exclaims and Tore rolls his eyes, going to grab an apron. "Would that be why you're making a Norwegian dish?" "Perhaps~! I also figured it would, you know, make you feel more at home!" He smiles down to the younger boy. "The first day away is the hardest. As your new big brother, it is my job to help you through it!"

Tore grabs the meat for the meatballs out of Mathias' hands. "…Whatever you say…Anko uzai…" Mathias gasps. "What does that mean!" "Nothing." Tore finishes all of the meatballs and pours the sauce over them before setting them in the oven. "Well then…I guess I need to give you a nickname!" Mathias exclaims as Tore cleans his hands in the sink. "Please don't." "Hm…Tore is a difficult name to shorten…ah! I know! From now on I will call you Norge!" "Oh my…what a brilliant nickname. I'm so glad I'm living with such an intelligent guy." Tore says blandly, making his sarcasm unnoticed to Mathias. "I know! I'm a genius! Then again, I am a senior! You're what? Sixteen? As the amazing big brother I am, I shall take you under my wing!"

He goes to wrap an arm around Tore's shoulders, only to have his hand pinched til he pulls away. "New rule; no touching." He goes and sits in the living room on the couch. It's comfy enough, so he shouldn't have a problem sleeping on it tonight. He'll get a bed by Sunday so he can get a good night's rest for school. Luckily its Friday so he has some time.

That night:

After dinner, to Tore's annoyance, Mathias decides to drink. "Hey! Hey! Norge!" "…Go away." "But Norge!" "Go away. You stink of booze." Mathias goes to hug Tore, earning a swift punch in the face. "OW! Norge! What the hell!" "Go to bed or I'll steal it from you." Tore warns and Mathias pouts, laying on the couch. "I'm not done drinking!" "Suit yourself." Mathias gawks as Tore gets up and heads into the older teens room. "I'll be in later, Norge~!" "Not if I lock the door." Tore mumbles and Mathias whines. "It's my room~!"

Next morning:

Tore wakes up to a heavy weight against his back. "Oh you better be on the couch, Anko uzai…" he warns and turns to see Mathias asleep with a large grin on his face. "That's it." Tore kicks him and sends him into the wall. "What the-! Norge! What the hell!" "I locked the door, how did you get in?" Mathias gets up and dusts himself off. "It's my room, how do you think I got in? it's not the first time I've been locked out of it." Tore stares at him. "Good to see you can't even keep your girlfriends in your company." "N-not girlfriends…I-I accidentally lock it…" Mathias mumbles and Tore gets out of the bed. "I would have stuck with girlfriend if I was you."

Tore escapes the grasp of Mathias and goes for a walk around town. On his way he sees the man from the other day. They both silently wave to each other, receiving a confused look from the small blonde child holding his hand. Going on his way he ends up meeting with another blonde. Why are there so many blondes around here?

He heads down to the river and sits on a bench, trying to figure out how much he can spend on a bed when two hands come out of nowhere and grab his chest. "I claim your chest in the name of-!" Before the boy can finish that sentence he is thrown face first into the river. "Don't. Touch. Me." Tore says darkly. "Sorry, he is a bit eccentric. This is why big brother wanted to go with you." Mathias says, coming up to Tore from behind. "…Did you follow me?" Tore asks, death laced in his voice. "Um…n-no…not at all…."

"STAY. AWAY." "B-but Norge~!" Mathias reaches out only to have Tore kick him down. "It's 'Almighty King of the House Tore'. Anything else and I won't respond." "Nnnoooorrrrrgeeeeee~!" "You know what to call me. Say it." "Tooorrrreeeee~!" "Stop whining like a bitch and say the whole thing." Tore commands, placing his foot on top of Mathias's head. "You're being mean!" "You snuck into bed with me." Mathias glares up at Tore. "It's my bed!" "You lost privileges to your bed when you decided to get drunk off your ass and try to molest me. Also, when you decided to not give me and blankets to sleep on." Tore says and Mathias pouts. "I wasn't molesting you! I was trying to hug you!"

The smaller blonde continues to stare at him with an eerily blank face. "Don't kid yourself, you're so hard up for physical contact you'd probably let that freak from earlier molest you, Anko uzai." Mathias twitches. "What does that even mean!" "Annoying brother!" The boy thrown in the river, Im Yong Soo, exclaims and Mathias smiles. "Y-you called me brother!" "…Dear god it should be illegal to be as stupid as you are…" Tore mutters as Mathias jumps up and hugs him.

"So, I was thinking…to help you save money until you get a job…why don't you sleep in my bed?" Mathias offers, not letting go of Tore. "That's a great idea. While we're at it, why don't we just move all of my stuff in your room? Hell, we could even get another roommate from the third one that's supposed to come tomorrow. You know, since there would be an empty room and all." Tore says in his blank tone, making the sarcasm fly past Mathias again. "R-really!

The smaller blonde punches the older man. "Hell. No. in fact, we need a bed immediately so that the poor kid who is coming has a place to sleep away from you." Tore says and Mathias pouts. "How do you know he isn't older than you?" "Because we have talked. He's only fourteen. I am getting a bed, even if he ends up using it and I sleep on the couch. I'm not leaving a fourteen year old with you."

Mathias lights up. "Another little brother! This is great!" Tore reaches out and grabs the taller teen's tie, pulling it behind him. "You aren't touching him. He's not your little brother." "No need to be jealous Norge! I can love both of my little brothers equally!" "Stay away from both of us." Mathias groans and gets his tie from the other boy. "I guess I'll show you the furniture store…"

Furniture store:

"Ooohhhh! Look Norge! Isn't this bed nice!" Mathias exclaims, pointing to a large bed with a canopy on top. "…I know my clothes yesterday make it questionable…but I am a boy. I don't want a canopy." Tore says and Mathias laughs. "But it's big! You can fit you, the new kid, maybe…the original owner of the-!" A nearby couple move back when Mathias goes flying past them. "What do you think your house is? A brothel? Allow me to beat that out of you." Tore says, death in his eyes as he cracks his knuckles over the man.

"T-Tore…we're in public!" Mathias reminds him and Tore ignores it, along with the stares of some other customers. "I'm not getting a goddamn bed that will accommodate your creepy ass. I'm not getting a bed with a canopy either. I'm getting a normal queen size bed and if you so much as touch it once it is set up in my room I will kick your nether regions so hard you will never be able to curse this world with your idiotic spawn." "Understood." Tore nods and walks away.

"How can someone so cute be so violent?" Mathias mutters as he stands up and dusts himself off. "Get over here, Anko uzai." Tore says and Mathias runs over. "What is it! Would you like my opinion!" "No, if I want a useless opinion I will ask that little kid over there, since he seems to be smarter than you." Mathias looks over to a four year old boy holding his big brother's hand as they pick out a child's bed. "That's painful, Norge…" "Hm…so you're back to that, are you?"

Tore goes over to a sales person and tells them what he wants. Soon two men are out there grabbing the bed and loading it into a delivery truck. "They said we could get a ride from them. Behave in the truck." Tore says and Mathias pouts. "You're the one who keeps beating me up…" "I wouldn't if you didn't keep asking for it." Mathias sighs as they follow the two men to the delivery truck.

The house:

The delivery men set the mattress and frame in the front door and leave. "…So we have to carry it all…?" Mathias mutters and Tore nods, his left eye twitching ever so slightly. "Who would have thought the delivery men won't bring it to the room…?" "Well, let's get to work, Norge!" Tore nods and grabs one end of the large mattress, carrying it down the hall with Mathias.

They get into Tore's room and Mathias trips over something, causing the smaller boy to go falling on the mattress, soon followed by Mathias. "Ow…Mathias … Køhler…I'm going to kill you…" Mathias gulps nervously and gets off of the boy, running out of the room. "I'll get everything else!" "Anko uzai…" Tore mutters, sitting up and rubbing his nose. "…Ow…" "I got everything for the frame!" Mathias exclaims, piling the materials on the floor.

Tore looks at him confused. "You…brought it all in at once?" "Well…yeah… so are you ok?" Mathias asks and Tore nods. "I landed on a mattress, I'm fine…" He gets up and sets the mattress up against a wall before grabbing the parts to the frame. "Should I...um…help you?" Mathias asks and Tore looks over at him. "Anko uzai." "What does that mean anyways? How come the boy from Korea knew it when I don't?" Tore shrugs and begins putting it together. "Probably because he knows Japanese…" Mathias looks at him confused. "How do you know Japanese?"

"My adoptive father was part Japanese. I don't usually use it, but that term suits you…" Tore mutters and Mathias smiles. "Because I'm like a big brother!" "…Because you're annoying." "That's so cruel Norge!" Mathias whines and Tore glares. "…Stop calling me that. Also, try to tone down that annoying attitude of yours. I don't want you scaring off my only chance for a sane roommate."

That evening:

Tore goes into the back yard, looking at the flowers until he spots someone over the fence. "Huh…?" The other blonde on the other side pokes his head over the fence and smiles at him. "Hi! I'm Tino, your new neighbor!" "Oh…I'm Tore…" Tore walks over to the fence and shakes hands with the boy. "Well Tore, how old are you?" Tino asks sweetly and Tore tells him. "Sixteen, huh? Well then, I look forward to having you in my art class!" Tore's eyes widen. "…You're a teacher?"

Tino laughs a little but nods. "I am! Although I'm only twenty…but there are quite a few young teachers at this school!" As Tino goes on about the school and its teachers, the giant that Tore had met before comes up with the same little boy he had with him earlier in his arms. "Ah, so you've met my wife." He says and Tino blushes, glaring up at him. "I'm not your wife! I'm a guy! And we aren't even married, Berwald!"

Berwald looks over to Tore. "We are married." Tore nods, a serious look on his face. "I understand. Sometimes it takes awhile for it to sink in for the wife." Tino blushes deeper. "Wh-T-Tore! Please don't take his side!" Tore reaches over the fence and places a hand on Tino's shoulder. "You share a house, have a child, and own a dog. Papers and ceremony or not, you're still his wife." Tino groans and rests his head on Berwald's shoulder. "Why does everyone think that!" "…Possibly…that?" Tore says and Tino blushes, backing away from Berwald.

"N-NORGE! WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO THAT EVIL GIANT!" Mathias yells, running over and pulling Tore to him possessively. "Don't tell me who I can talk to and do you not remember the rule?" Tore mutters before pinching Mathias' hand. "DON'T. TOUCH. ME." "Ow! Ow! Ow! Noorrrgeeee!" Mathias whines, pulling away. "I'm going then! Bastard!" The older teen stomps off and Tore watches him blankly. "Anko uzai…" "Ah, don't be so hard on him! He and Berwald have always had it out for each other. It all started when I stayed at Mathias' house for a while when he first moved in to help him out." Tino explains and Tore groans. "So Anko uzai is possessive…? Great…please let the new boy be normal…"

anko uzai- annoying brother

a/n: I dont know how good it is. THE NORDICS ARE DIFFICULT DAMNIT! .