Chapter 1

At first I passed it off as curiosity, in the moment spouts of increased hormones or something. He is my best friend; I've known him my whole life. It's just part of the awkward teenage year's right? I told myself this time and time again, feigning ignorance to my own building emotions and desires. I'm not sure when it started to happen or how long ago it was but if I think hard it was always there. My jealousy as a kid if he plaid with someone else. Wrestling matches I instigated. Challenging him knowing he would never back down. You could pass that of as just boys being boys and children being children. It was when my eyes would stray too long on his shirtless body. When I found myself checking him out before I even realised I'd done it. Thinking things like 'Fuck that's hot' when he liked his lips before registering my mistake.

I was hyper aware of him. Anything he did I was always analysing, watching from a distance, and reading way too much into a pat on the back or a friendly arm across the shoulder. His beautiful dimpled smile makes me want to swoon, how fucking embarrassing is that. The pure emotions you could read in his eyes making me want to melt. I swear sometimes I think I've grown a vagina for Christ sakes.

He made me feel things I never felt before, physically and emotionally. I longed for him. I wanted to kiss those chap lips and be held in those arms. He always looked out for me, telling me if anyone was bothering me just to let him know. I was always the quiet kid, the one the other kids picked on because I was an easy target. Kids are cruel and ruthless. I use to come home with scraped knees and bruises from being pushed down and beat up. I hadn't done anything to annoy them, they just didn't like me.

As much as he wanted to be, he wasn't there all the time and even in high school I still come home occasionally with a black eye. I do defend myself off course, at least attempting to get a good hit in before I go down but unfortunately I'm preyed on by more than one person at a time. The uneven numbers leave me in worse shape for wear.

Yet in those times he wasn't there to help me fight and have my back, he was keeping me company while my wounds were healing. He never left my side if I was sick and it was the same for me with him. We have always been there for each other, never letting anything get between us.

I've held this unrequited love for so long it burns whenever I think about what I can't have. I listen to him talk about girls and can't help the dull ache that seems to forever be in my chest.

I ...Embry Call am irrevocably in love with my stupid goofball of a best friend Quil.

Whoever said unrequited love was beautiful can kiss my ass.