Chapter III: Good afternoon, Axis
"Ve~ this looks so good, Japan!" Italy said as he smiled widely at the bento boxes we opened up.
Each bento was filled with a variety of sushi and sashimi, salted salmon (as expected of Japan), tonkatsu, rice, and a lot more I couldn't mention. I felt hungry just looking at them. My diet will be broken after this.
"Why are there so many? Is there an occasion?" Italy asked, rubbing his chopsticks together.
"No occasion. We are now rarely together, so I thought of a special bento for us," Japan said, smiling.
He was happy. Italy was happy. And I was happy.
The Axis was together again after a long time. We don't see each other often—although Italy stays with me every now and then, Japan focuses on his country at the other end of the world, and he usually sees only America. Probably the last that we really had a good, long time together was the FIFA Soccer Tournament. After that, everything went back to normal.
"All right, then, let's all eat."
Italy had stuffed his face with sushi before I said anything, and I placed my palm on the side of my head and sighed.
"Ever so lively, Italy-kun," Japan said, smiling. His chopsticks looked like they were hovering over the food as he ate. I wonder if he even ate breakfast.
"Ever since this morning, Japan," I said and then chewed on a piece of breaded pork.
"When was Italy never ever hyper?"
"Oh, well…" I thought for a while if I should bring it up, about this morning, but now's not the time. Maybe later. "Never."
Italy nodded enthusiastically. "Ve~"
Japan chuckled.
"How have you been, Japan?" asked Italy.
"I've been well, although all these happenings everyday tend to make my back ache more. I must be growing so old…"
"But you're still strong, Japan." Considering you came all the way here carrying three heavy bento boxes.
"Thank you, Germany-san. However, it is true that I am very old. I don't know if I will ever find rest, except eternally. But I can't do so as of now. I still have a lot to take care of."
"So do we."
Italy nodded. "You've been seeing America, right?"
"Yes," Japan said, looking at Italy with his black, blank eyes. "He visits every now and then, but not as much as he did years ago since he also has business with other countries."
"Mm…"
I watched them chatter as I ate. Italy seemed very delighted to see Japan. His cheeks are just like… tomatoes.
I looked down at my bento box. I felt like I could heat it up just by staring at it. Now that I think about it, every time Italy crosses my mind, I… I heat up. Everywhere. It's strange. It's almost the same feeling when I get enraged or annoyed, but it's somehow different. My chest feels heavy, not because of the food sliding down my throat, but… it just feels heavy, like my heart wants to burst out.
Burst. Huh. I miss wurst. I wonder if I'll cook later.
"Germany-san?"
I looked at Japan. "Hmm?"
"Are you all right? You've been quiet for a while."
"Oh, yeah. I was just thinking."
Italy was looking at me. I could see worry in his eyes, but he tried to hide it with his (sweet) smile. "You should drink some tea, Germany~ it'll help the food go down~"
I took a sip from my cup. He brewed it well.
"So," Japan said, "what are you two up to today?"
"We're cleaning Germany's house~ I came to help him today."
"Or rather you stayed for the night to help clean today," I said, putting my cup on the table.
"Ehe~"
"And you still have some paper work to do."
"Ah~ you're right~"
"Well then, why don't I help with the chores? We can work faster if the three of us work together," Japan suggested.
"Are you sure, Japan? You've already brought us lunch."
Japan smiled. "It's not a problem for me."
And it was settled.
We chatted a while about the world while we ate, and we finished our bento boxes before the clock struck two. It took us a few minutes before we could let the food down and start working.
Italy and Japan cleared the table and washed the dishes and the bento boxes, and I went to fix my papers in the study. I checked in my desk and I saw the papers I filed for Italy to sign. We can probably do this later. I closed the drawer and went out to get brooms in the storage room.
"Germany-san, Italy went to go clean the bathroom," Japan said, approaching me.
"Oh, yes, I told him to leave it first so he could get the table ready before you came."
Japan looked at me. "All right. I'll help you around the living room, then."
"Thanks. Here's your broom."
I moved the furniture around before we started sweeping. Japan was quiet for a while, as if he was thinking while he swept around.
Then, once the dust was cleared and clumped into one pile, he spoke.
"Germany-san, is there something troubling you?"
I looked at him. "What do you mean?"
"I feel like something is bothering you since lunch. Would you care to tell me?"
"Well…" Should I tell him now?
"Did something happen between you and Italy-kun?"
"N-nothing. But he… I…"
I couldn't find the right words.
"It's all right, I can wait."
"No, it's fine, I'll tell you…"
And there you have it. I told Japan about how Italy was behaving when he woke up, about his dream that he wouldn't tell me, and about my feelings, my behavior, and how I nearly k… ki… kissed him in the kitchen.
"Japan, what's going on with me?"
The little man swept the pile of dust in the dustpan and walked to the trash to dump it there.
"It is strange, Germany-san, but there's little I could say. After all, you spend more time with him than any one else lately. Not even the time he spends with his brother could compare to the time he stays with you."
"That doesn't say anything about how I feel about him."
"Well, it could result that you have come to develop feelings for him."
"How?"
"Ever since the Axis was formed, or way back before that, he tends to stay with you. You tell me some times that you nearly fall out of bed learning that he's right beside you when you wake up, correct?"
"Uh, correct."
"And he clings to you a lot."
"Mm."
"And you can't help but go after him when he's in danger."
"Uh, yeah."
"Then that does mean you have feelings for him."
"Don't make conclusions like that so all of a sudden!"
"But don't you think now's the time you consider all of these?"
"But I'm a man! And he's a man! Men can't stay together under one roof like that!"
"Apparently, so many countries around the world are trying to control masses of mobs about implementing gay marriage and such—"
"Don't bring it there."
"I apologize, Germany-san. But I really think you should talk this over with Italy-kun. And that you should be honest with yourself."
I sighed. "Honest with myself? To be honest, I don't know."
"You'll find the answer sooner or later." He smiled and continued sweeping.
I watched him. "Japan…"
"Oh and, Germany-san. You should also be careful. Italy has told me, one time, about a past friend."
A past friend? "Who do you mean?"
"He didn't specifically say who, but he was a special friend. Try to connect this to his dream then. It might help that you know."
Now my head hurt. I was spinning around and I didn't know where I'll land. The many drawers in my mind are bursting open, filled with countless of information and memories.
That's when I saw something that I doubt I have ever seen before.
I blanked out. My five senses failed to do their job, and I was being transported into a white space. The last thing I saw was Japan's back and then a white light.
I was alone. Just like before I met Italy. I didn't have anyone. There was my brother. But he left me soon after, and I was to fend for myself.
I looked at my hands. They were big and rough. I tried imagining them back when I was a young country, and I pictured smaller hands.
I closed my eyes, and opened them again. But this time, I was seeing a field of white flowers. Dahlias, probably?
There, I could see a little child, dressed in an old-century maid outfit. She… it was a she, right? Well, she wore a white handkerchief on her head.
My feet moved on their own and I walked towards her.
She heard me and looked, and I saw… her puffy cheeks and her light brown, almost red, hair. And I noticed the curl on her head…
Wait, a curl? Hold on, I know that curl…
Isn't that…
She came to me, speaking, but I couldn't hear her voice (now I'm not even sure if she really is a she).
Her little hands reached for mine, and I held my hand out. I saw that my hands had shrunk, and I wore a long black sleeve over my arm.
Her hand was soft, and it was a familiar touch. Who is this?
Then the scene faded away, and I was again alone.
Then I heard footsteps.
"You're Germany, aren't you?"
I stiffened and looked straight ahead. I saw a small figure walking towards me. The figure wore a black cloak over his clothes, and wore a black hat.
"Who are you?" I asked.
He stopped before me and looked up to me.
"I was you."
What. Don't play tricks with me.
"What are you talking about?"
His blue eyes looked at me intently. "I am Holy Roman Empire."
What? "But, you've been gone for a very long time."
"I disappeared long ago, and now you reside in the same body that I used to walk with on this earth."
This is getting weirder and weirder every time. My mind must be playing tricks on me now. Haha, all right, laugh if you will! But this isn't funny!
"What are you talking about?" I repeated.
"You don't really need to understand, because I have not much time to explain."
I looked at him, puzzled.
"I know you're a great nation, and I know Italy will be safe and happy in your hands. I am not there for him anymore, so I ask you…"
His little hands reached for the edge of my shirt and tugged roughly. "…please, take care of Italy."
So… is this the special friend Japan was talking about?
He shared the same body with me… so… whose feelings are these?
"I… I don't know if I can take it…"
"Italy is very fond of you. And I can see that you are beginning to feel different towards him." He smiled and let go of me.
"I've never considered any human feelings for another person, even for a country."
"Well, now's probably the time you start doing so."
He walked away and started disappearing.
"I know I can't force you to at least be there for him, but he needs you. You've been his support all this time, right?"
I watched him go, and I nodded.
"Then you'll do fine."
And he was gone.
I was beginning to see clearly again. "Italy…"
I could hear Japan's voice vaguely, calling me and asking if I was all right. I was slowly recovering, and I nodded just to answer him. He gently held my shoulder and led me to a chair. My head was still spinning in confusion, but that definitely was no dream. An illusion? But it looked like a memory…
I grunted.
"Germany-san," Japan said, "we're finished with the living room and Italy has cleaned the bathroom. Perhaps we should move to the garden?"
"Yeah, good idea," I said, nodding.
"Germany?" Italy walked towards us, still wearing the white apron and the handkerchief. "Japan, is Germany, okay?"
Japan nodded and smiled. "You don't need to worry, Italy-kun."
"I just got dizzy, that's all," I hurriedly told him. I know he was worried.
Italy sighed. "That's good then. Oh, Germany, when can I start with my paperwork?"
I blinked at him. "Anytime, but you should start early."
Japan gently patted my shoulders. "Germany-san, I will go ahead outside to the garden. Why don't you help Italy-kun?"
"Japan, are you sure you can handle it alone?"
"Of course, I clean my garden at home alone." He smiled and walked out.
We watched Japan fuss himself out the door, and then I stood up beside Italy.
"Well, let's get started. We'll surely be able to finish the job before dinner."
"All right, sir!" Italy said, saluting to me.
I led him into the study and pulled another seat near my desk. I pulled the drawer open and got a pen and the stack of papers Italy needed to sign.
"There."
"All these?"
"That's right."
"Ve~ they're a lot…"
"Which is exactly why we have to start now."
Italy pouted, sitting down on the desk chair. He took the pen and began reading the first letter.
I watched him as I organized a folder I saw in the drawer, and I once again felt a little fire in my chest. I wanted to hold him close, it got so annoying. I wanted to continue what we had left in the kitchen… but I didn't want Italy to get so bustled about it and stop with the paperwork. So I left it at that and just fingered my way through the folders, momentarily being bugged by Italy's constant whining about the amount of paperwork he has to do.
What's more is that I'm also being bugged by Holy Roman Empires' words…
Gott in Himmel… what should I do?