Title: ALPHA to OMEGA

Author: Glimmer Girl

Archive: please email to ask, I'll probably say yes

Rating: will vary from G to R

Warnings: none

Spoilers: none

Summary: A series of Qui-Gon/Obi-Wan vignettes. Each vignette will take its title from a letter of the Greek alphabet and will center around a word that starts with that letter.

Feedback: Yes, please! I'd love to hear what you think.

Disclaimer: All of SW belongs to GL.



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ALPHA

arche â€" a beginning, origin, first cause



I tried to trace the wandering path that my soul has taken since I first became alive and aware. Not back to a moment defined by time, for I do not know if it was when I was two or twelve or twenty when it happened. Perhaps it was none of those ages, or perhaps it was all of them. I am not sure. Not yet, anyway. What I do know is that every time I attempt to trace the vague memories of a time before I felt this vitality inside me, I always come back to him. I want to say the first time I met Qui-Gon was the defining moment for me and at that time the galaxy opened its arms to me with an embrace much like the Force itself. But, once I decide that was the time, another memory floods over me, and I'm no longer remembering the wonder of a small child, but the awe of an adolescent. Was it then, when he clapped his hand to my shoulder and called me padawan for the first time? There was joy in that moment, and the realization that I had bound my life to a man that I already, in some way, loved.

But I did not truly love Qui-Gon, not until years later, when the precious gift of both loving and being in love was granted to me. By the time I had fallen in love with my master, and he looked at me with love and desire in his eyes, I knew the paths of my soul led to him. I love him still, and am more in love with him every day. Every thought, memory or emotion, should I allow it, would bring me back to the place in my heart where Qui-Gon always is. He is the air that fills my lungs when I breathe, the light that stings my eyes when I awake too early in the morning, the sound of laughter as his hand skims over my body. He is my strength, my independence and my inspiration. Should time or space separate us, I know that my memories, sad and sweet, will always keep him close to me. He is what I shall remember about this life, even if I am forced to spend the last years of it without Qui-Gon.

He is my beginning.