GAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Bad person. I never update. Now I shall hang my head in shame :/ ...OKAY! Now, onto where I talk about my story. This chapter was hard to do cus I had writer's bock for the looongest time! (and I'm a bit lazy :P) Playing Kingdom Hearts, Assassin's Creed, Pokemon, reading yaoi, and listening to music had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with this. Heh. I also realized, like only the first chapter and the song actually work well together. Now I'm just making shit up. Oh well. I suppose for this chapter the song is In Too Deep by Sum41.

"Ohhhh just PERFECT!"

Matt opened the door of the closet he was sitting in. "What is it Mello?" he called. Mello stormed in the room with his fists clenched in fury.

"The goddamn wa- Matt…where are you?" he asked looking around confused.

"I'm in here." He said as he pushed the door open further and fell out onto the floor, a pool of Mario plushies following. Mello looked at Matt the way anyone would look at a person who had just come out of a sea of stuffed mushrooms and Italians.

"Uhhh…Matt, are you okay buddy?" he asked, questioning the boy's sanity at this point. Matt still lay on the floor, his hair a mop of copper red and deep bags under his eyes. The kid looked like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Huh? Oh, this…yeah." He said slowly.

"What exactly are you doing?" Mello questioned. Matt's eyes got as wide as deer caught in front of an oncoming truck. His entire body stiffened and his expression became extremely serious. He raised his head to stare at Mello who took a few steps back, just to be safe.

"We were having a top secret meeting...nothing that concerns you."

"Yeah, okay, whatever. Anyways Matt the-"

"If you promise not to betray us and relay this classified information to that son of a bitch Bowzer, I'll tell you."

"Matt, I really don't want to know."

"OKAY! JEEZ, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET SO VIOLENT!" Matt yelled as he suddenly scrambled to his knees, crawling towards Mello. The blonde had his back against the wall, his hand on the doorknob if he needed to escape his deranged friend. "Mario says that there's a 200 coin ransom for Princess Peach. But he thinks I can rescue her! I have to Mello! I HAVE TO SAVE THE PRINCESS! She needs me…she nhhh…mmm…fhhh" Matt trailed off, clinging to Mello's legs.

Okay, he's lost it…Mello thought as he looked down at the boy attached to him.

"Uhhh…Matt?"

"Matt?"

"Hey...Matt." He realized the boy had fallen asleep and was now drooling on his pants. Ew. Gross. Mello shook his legs, attempting to break free from the hacker's grasp. The repeated collision of Matt's skull against Mello's knee woke him up and he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"Oh, hey Mello." He smiled lazily. "What's up?"

"Yeeeeah, uh, Matt we have a problem." Mello said, deciding it was probably best to just ignore their previous exchange. "I think the pipes are frozen so we have no water now. I just checked the whole house."

"Well that's just fucking perfect." Matt muttered.

"That's what I said!" Mello replied, throwing his hands up in the air. A long silence ensued and the blonde began walking back forth across the room, wracking his brain for a solution. He absolutely had to take a shower at least once a day, otherwise he felt disgusting. Smelling gross was definitely not cool.

"Hey Mello…" Matt said, breaking the silence with his uncertain voice.

"What?" the boy replied impatiently, still pacing.

"Well I know this is going to sound stupid but…uhhh…why don't we go take showers at someone else's house?"

"Oh, like who?" he asked sarcastically. "Near? Pft." Matt said nothing, as he scratched his head and avoided Mello's gaze. Mello was still snickering at his own clever joke. As he thought more about what the redhead had said his steps slowed until he stopped in front of the boy. "Wait…you weren't actually going to suggest we go to Near's place, were you?"

Matt's eyes wandered toward the ceiling and he rocked from side to side nonchalantly, twiddling his thumbs in his lap. "Uhhhhh…"

"Oh, no freaking WAY Matt! What kind of dumbass idea is that?" Mello exclaimed as he turned to exit the room.

"C'mon Mello! Mellooo!" Matt called desperately. "We'd only have to be there for a little while!"

"No! I'm not doing ANYTHING at that freak's house!"

"B-but we don't have any water! Where else are we gonna go? Besides, I feel dirty!" Matt whined.

"I'd rather never take a shower again, acquire some horrible disease and then die a miserable death than ever ask him for help!" Mello shouted.

"Oh, don't you think that's a little extreme?" the redhead asked, rolling his eyes. The blonde shot him a death-glare. "Please?" Matt asked, turning on his puppy-dog eyes.

"No."

"Pleeease?"

"No!"

"Pretty Pleeease?"

"NO MATT!"

"Pretty pretty pretty pleeease?"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

"Oh, why hello; Mello, Matt." Near said casually to the two boys standing on his doorstep. "What brings you here at this hour?" he asked as he twirled a white lock around his finger.

Matt looked over to Mello who pulled his jacket closer and focused his eyes on something very far in the distance. He jabbed the blonde in the side with his elbow.

"Mello…" he growled through his clenched teeth.

"Nuh-uh."

He jabbed him harder. "Mello!"

"You say it! It was your stupid idea…" he growled back.

"Ugh fine!" he mumbled, then turned back to Near, his smug little smirk watching them in amusement. "Well, you see…the water isn't working at our house and uh, we were wondering if you could maybe, ah, let us use your shower for a bit?" Matt felt absurdly uncomfortable, not just due to the freezing cold and the massive amount of snow surrounding him, but mainly just from the way Near was looking at them.

"But of course," Near replied. "Please, come inside." He opened the door further to reveal the warmth from within. Reluctantly, the two entered. They were greeted by the smell of cleaning supplies and an incredible living room. The entire floor was made of marble and the walls were adorned with dazzling and no doubt, expensive pieces of art. To the left was a large fireplace and beautiful white lounge chairs. On the right was a large shelf filled with nothing but puzzles and toys, all placed in alphabetical order. And right in the center was an entirely glass spiral staircase. Mello's eyes widened and Matt just stood there, dumbstruck. The blonde leaned in and whispered in Matt's ear.

"Why don't we have a set-up like this?"

Matt shook his head, his mouth agape.

"Shall I have the butler take your coats?" Near asked, gesturing towards the very tall, boxy man standing behind them. Matt squeaked and jumped in surprise clinging to Mello's arm. He gulped and slowly detached himself from the boy, then shrugged off his army green winter coat, watching Mello do the same with his black one. They handed their jackets to the butler who hung them on the rack with a terrifying stone-faced expression.

"Please, make yourselves comfortable." Near said to the boys as he walked to one of the couches and sat down. He was almost camouflaged against the white fabric in his pajamas. He curled his knees up to his chest and resumed twisting his hair around his finger. Matt and Mello sat down stiffly on the couch opposite Near. "Now, do you prefer lavender or roses?" he asked.

Matt and Mello looked at one another. "Uh…what?" the redhead asked.

"For your bath," replied Near. "Do you want lavender or rose petals?"

"Neither." Mello said. "We just want a normal, quick shower."

"I am sorry to disappoint you Mello, but we only have a bathtub." Near said, not looking sorry at all. "And since we only have one, who would like to go first?" He paused, thinking. "That is, unless of course, you'd rather bathe together?" he smiled sinisterly.

"I'LL GO FIRST!" Mello shouted as he sprang up from the couch. Matt looked mortified.

"Follow me." boomed the rather large butler. The blonde walked briskly over to him and Matt watched in terror as Mello ascended the stairs, leaving him alone…with Near.

"Well Matt," said Near. "It looks like it's just the two of us." His eyes stared over his curled up knees at the redhead. It was piercing and chilling and just plain uncomfortable. Matt squirmed in his seat and avoided making eye contact with the boy.

"Uhhh, yeah. I guess so."

"Shall we play a game?" Near asked. It felt like he never blinked! He had a thousand mile stare that went on forever and it was dedicated solely to Matt. The word 'game' brought the hacker out of his internal debate of whether or not Near had a soul.

"Oh, ah…sure." He replied, uncertain of what he was getting himself into.

Near slipped off the couch and made his way to the shelf of games. It occurred to Matt that seeing Near walk an incredibly strange thing. He didn't necessarily shuffle, but his gait was composed of small steps and his back was hunched over. His arms hung loosely by his sides and swung slightly with each step. He took his time carefully deciding which game they should play and returned holding a rectangular tin. Along the side in exciting-looking letters was "JENGA!"

This won't be too bad, thought Matt as he watched Near assemble the tower of wooden blocks.

"I assume you know how to play Jenga." The albino boy said.

"Yeah, I do."

"Then let the fun begin."

Matt reached out and grabbed one of the blocks towards the top, a safe move. He set it down on the coffee table, praying that Mello would break the record for world's fastest shower. Near gingerly plucked a wood block out from the middle and kept it in his hands. Matt gulped as Near ran his fingers up and down the length of the wood, all the while staring intently at him. He moved the block up to his mouth and caressed it with his lips. Matt suddenly felt the need to cross his legs and put his hands in his lap.

Oh dear God; he wanted to end this game as quickly as possible. The hacker swiftly pulled a piece out from the bottom and the entire thing toppled. Whew.

"Oh, now that was no fun." said Near. "I suppose we'll just have to play another game." Noooooo!

Near left and returned once more, this time with a miniature house…that bared a strange resemblance to Matt and Mello's house.

"This is one of my favorite toys." He said in his eerie voice.

I didn't know Near liked playing with dollhouses…

"And this is my favorite one to play with." Near turned the house around to expose its interior, and the small figures inside. He pulled out one of the dolls and began stroking its short red hair. "You're clothes appear to be rather messy today." He said. "How naughty…" He fixed the black and white striped shirt and pulled up its jeans.

"Would you care to play?" Near asked, looking back at the horrified Matt.

"I-uh, I'm…."

"I'm sorry Matt, I didn't quite hear that."

"I'm gonna go check on Mello!" Matt squeaked, his voice changing octaves.

"I'll be here." He heard Near whisper as he sprinted up the stairs. He reached the top without pausing to think and practically busted down the door of the first room he saw. Matt slammed the door behind him and leaned back against it, attempting to catch his breath.

"Matt?"

His eyes popped open.

"Mello?" he asked, his mind so confused.

"What are you doing?" Mello hissed.

"Near…freak…dolls! Dolls Mello! DOLLS!" he gasped.

"What?"

"Near! He wanted to play games and then he wanted to play Jenga, but he was all creepy and sexual! Then he wanted to play with his dollhouse, but it was our house Mello! And then he has like these little miniature you and me's and..and…and…"

It was about this time that Matt actually noticed that Mello was sitting in the bathtub, surrounded by a variety of rubber ducks.

"What the hell?" he mumbled.

"Oh, ah…the butler. He wouldn't let me take them out." Mello said as he gathered more ducks around his waist, suddenly very conscious of their situation.

"This was a bad idea…" Matt thought out loud.

"I told you!' Mello exclaimed as he threw one of the ducks at his friend, hitting him square in the forehead with a small squeak.

"Well…let's get out of here!" he said nervously, dashing over to the tub and pulling Mello out by the waist.

"Ah! God Matt! What are you doing?" Mello shouted as they fell back onto the fluffy carpet.

"WE HAVE TO LEAVE!" Matt yelled, apparently not bothered by the fact that his friend was lying completely naked and soaking wet on top of him. On any normal day this would've ended in…well…let's just say the day would go from normal to great.

Matt scrambled out from underneath Mello and began to frantically search for his friend's clothes.

"Here!" he said as he rushed back to Mello, pulling the boxers up over his ankles.

"Matt, I can do it myself."

"Just hold still!"

"Gah, stop it Ma-" both boys turned their heads to sound of the door opening and saw standing there, as stone-faced as ever, the butler. He cast his eyes downward at the two, blinked, then turned on his heel and shut the door.

"Why aren't there any locks on these doors?" Matt wondered.

"Would you get off of me?" Mello said as he pushed Matt away from him.

"Oh, right. Sorry." Matt replied. "You know…we should probably go out that way." He gestured towards the window.

"Oh no way!" Mello said, lying on the floor, pulling on his leather pants.

"Yes way! Near might kill us if we go back down there! Or worse; he might even try to rape us!"

Mello rolled his eyes. "Oh good lord." He said, then zipped up his vest. The blonde turned to face Matt but saw he was already halfway out the window. "Matt!" He hissed as the boy dropped down to the ground.

"C'mon Mello! It's not that far!" he whispered back.

The shit I have to deal with… Mello thought as he reluctantly swung one leg out the window.

"I'll catch you!"

"Like Hell you will!"

When they'd finally reached their house the boys stopped to catch their breath.

"I don't understand why we had to SPRINT all 12 blocks!" Mello gasped.

"Ah, whatever…" Matt said, clutching his side. "Just gimme the keys!"

...

"SHIT!" Mello yelled.

"What?"

"I left my keys in coat…back at Near's house!"

"NOOOOOOO!"

Author: Heh heh, I hope you liked it. I tried to add a bit of yaoi! Oh and you should also probably maybe sorta check out our videos at

.com/user/TheSymmetricalEights?feature=mhum

Mello: Are you just using this space to promote your dumb cosplays?

Author: *suspiciously* Nooooo...

Matt: Yes you are.

Author: T_T Okay, fine! But we're dressed as you two!

Matt/Mello: Oh! Well then that's okay! *stroll off happily into sunset to eat chocolate and play DS*