All that is left

Warnings: Spoilers for Croatoan. MILD Wincest. VERY mild.

Author's Note: omg omg omg my very first Fanfiction EVER! So excited. I don't know where it came from, but this bunny just didn't want to stay in it's cage.

BANNER now online on my profile page!

So this story hits off in the episode Croatoan of Supernatural Season 2. It starts with a piece of dialogue from the show but takes another turn then the original plot.

By the way: It's at some point important that you haven't forgotten everything about the episode the scenes take place in. I'll leave out parts, that would happen in this story just the same as in the episode. So yeah. I for example watch the episode up to the point where my scene starts before I get into writing it ^^

Disclaimer: The boys and everything involving them belongs (sadly...*snif* )to the godlike Kripke... or Chuck...well you get the drift.

Playlist: Modern Myth - 30 Seconds to Mars

So here you have it.

Reviews are highly desired ^^

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Chapter 1: Desperate Man

"Dean, don't do this. Just get the hell out of here."

Sam's eyes were pleading, begging his brother to be sensible. But Dean wouldn't have it. His eyes wandered through the room, looking anywhere but Sam. His little brother, the one person he really relied on. He already had lost his father. Invincible. That was the one word, that had always crossed his mind, when he thought about his Dad. As solid as a rock, not giving in inch, no matter how hard you pushed.

Gone.

Sam and him, that was all that was left of the Winchesters. How could he turn his back on that? How could he just walk out and never look back?

He had trusted his father, implicit and without doubt. But the trust that he had in his brother was a whole other story. They questioned each others actions, of course. God knew how often he had to bite his tongue not to snap at the boy, but no matter what happened, when push shoves they had each others backs. More than that, they gave each other strength. With his father, it had always been a one way street. John went, Dean followed. Sam and him were equals. Ying and Yang, no matter how cheesy that sounded. When one of them couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, the other one would take the lead and watch out for stumbling blocks along the way.

"Give me my gun, and leave." Sams voice was full of Conviction, but he couldn't quite hide the small tremor that ran through him. When Dean finally looked at him he could see the fear in his bleary eyes. It was hard not to break his laugh-in-the-face-of-death mask right then, but he had to stay strong. For Sam.

"For the last time, Sam. No."

As he turned away to compose himself Sam snapped, punching his plastered arm on the table. Hard.

"This is the dumbest thing you've ever done."
Sam was at the brink of crying now, torn between relief, to have his brother by is side and the need to get him somewhere safe. Which in this case was as far away from him as possible.

"I don't know about that. Remember that waitress in Tampa?"

He could see right through Deans act, as usual. The guy that through all this time always had come running when he had screwed up again. He had lost count of how many times Dean had sacrificed everything to save him, had put himself second just to be there for his little brother. But not this time. He wouldn't let him. He just couldn't.

"Dean, I'm sick. It's over for me. It doesn't have to be for you." - Pleading.

"No?"

"No, you can keep going." - Craving.

"Who says I want to?"

Everything froze. Sam could see that Dean was dead set. Literally. His mind started wheeling at his brothers words, while the room had turned so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

"What?"

Resignation was evident in Deans eyes and suddenly he looked ten years older.
"I'm tired, Sam. I'm tired of this job, this life . . . this weight on my shoulders, man. I'm tired of it."

Sam couldn't believe what he was hearing. Dean Winchester, the guy that thought decapitation of vampires should become an official sport was tired of this life? The one, who's eyes starting glowing at the thought of a werewolf hunt? When had he missed the last ten chapters of his brothers life? Sure, their fathers death was more than any of them could shoulder, but when had his brothers mindset switched from 'give-em-hell' to 'I couldn't care less'? How did he miss that? But it didn't matter. He had to get Dean out of here. As soon as possible. The clock was ticking and they already had wasted far too much time.

"So what, so you're just going to give up? You're just gonna lay down and die? Look, Dean, I know this stuff with Dad has..."
"You're wrong." Dean butted in.

What?

"It's not about Dad. I mean, part of it is, sure, but..."

Now Sam was completely lost.

"Then what is it about?"

Dean tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He could feel his facade crumbling. Fast.

"Why do you think I got you from Stanford, Sam?"

Confusion was written all over his little brothers face. He himself didn't really know where he was going with this. All he knew was, that he couldn't...he just couldn't imagine to keep on fighting without Sammy. What was the point? After he was gone, there was nothing left for him here.

"Why do think I put up with your crap 24/7, run after you when you are set on running the other direction?"

He unconsciously had inched closer towards the examining table Sam was sitting on and looked down at him. His forehead was all scrunched up, as it always was when he tried to figure something out really hard. Some things never change. Especially with his snot nosed, pig headed brother. How could someone so warm and empathizing turn into something evil. How?

"Dean...I..." Sam was at an utter loss for words. A real curiosity.

He stepped closer and brushed the hair out of Sam's eyes. Something he had never done before, never let himself do, no matter how annoyingly they tangled in his brothers face.

"You are all I got left here. Mom, Dad...they are all gone. What am i supposed to do when you..." He nearly choked on the last word.

Suddenly Sam's hand came up and stroked something wet out of his face. When had he started crying? Only then he noticed that his hand was still in Sam's hair, frozen just above his left ear. He didn't know why he was doing it, and honestly couldn't seem to care, but before any of them knew it, his lips were pressed against Sam's, a desperate attempt to keep his brother here with him, to somehow save him from the virus within him that soon would burn all of his humanity and with it everything that was Sam. His Sammy.

Sam had turned rigid, before he hastily pulled back, pushing Dean back by the shoulders. Gawping at him, totally taken aback by what just happened.

"Wha..." It came out only as a whisper.

Dean stared back just as shocked before he hastily straightened up, his face blank.

"I...I'm sorry...I..."

Before he could say another word, there was a knock on the door.
They both spun around to see Dr. Lee waving from outside the room. Dean cleared his throat as he walked over to her and unlocked the door.

"You better come see this."

The brothers exchanged one last loaded look, before they quietly followed her outside.

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tbc?

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Do you want more or did you just realize that you will never ever get the last few minutes of your life back?