Title: Tea Time Entertainment
Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers
Characters: George Washington, America, England, random British Generals, and several nefarious biscuits
Length: 704 Words
Summary: Kink Meme De-anon. An estimated 25 mlloins Britons recieved serious injuries in 2009 from the simple act of eating their biscuits. In the colonial days of America, it was much worse.

Alfred always enjoys watching Arthur at tea time. Sometimes Arthur knows he is there, and other times he doesn't (but mostly he does know). Alfred is by far a curious and active child who never focuses on one thing for so long, so it is most odd that he would come inside every day to watch Arthur do something as trivial as eating biscuits and drinking tea.

Perhaps it's watching Arthur attempt to eat the biscuits that's so amusing and thus keeps the boy enraptured.

It probably is.

Afterall, what could be more amusing than watching Arthur struggle to wrest free his precious biscuit from Usa –Alfred's pet - without injuring the bunny? (Even more so when Arthur gives up and lets the rabbit finish it off.)

Or that one time when Arthur burned his fingers when he had accidently dropped part of his biscuit into his tea and tried to fish it out…while the tea was still scalding hot. Even after he'd withdrawn his hand the first time, he'd gone back in and did it again! (And again, and again, until eventually retrieved that piece of biscuit.)

But that is not here or now. Here and now is Alfred peeking through the crack in the door and watching Arthur as he settles down for his afternoon tea time. The biscuit is placed innocently on a small platter next to the coaster. Alfred ignores the tea Arthur is drinking – his eyes are trained on the cookie.

If Arthur knows he is there, he doesn't acknowledge it. He sets his saucer and teacup back down on the coaster after a moment before reaching for the biscuit. Alfred tenses, eyes gleaming brighter as he looks on.

Arthur brings it to his lips, biting down to take out a chunk of it…only to meet obvious resistance. Very hard obvious resistance. The thick eyebrows furrow and Arthur tries to take another bite, only to have his attempt thwarted once again. Not one to be deterred, he starts to gnaw, but even that does little good save for giving a few crumbs. Frustrated, Arthur opens his mouth wide before bringing his teeth down hard.

There's a loud resounding crack as Arthur's teeth snap around the biscuit in a last ditch effort to take a bite out of it. Everything freezes for a moment.

Slowly Arthur opens his mouth, pulling out the biscuit. Embedded in it are gold fragments, vaguely in the form of what would have been the tooth. Arthur's eyes narrow as he scrutinizes the fragments. "Alas. It seems the gold plating of my tooth seems to have come off."

Alfred immediately erupts into laughter, collapsing onto the floor and rolling about while holding his sides.

"Sometimes," Alfred can barely hear Arthur's words over his own laughter, "I wonder if I am just a nation trying to have a normal tea time, or injure myself on purpose for your entertainment."

Alfred stands at the side of George Washington, observing the British officials as they discuss their plans to defeat the French over tea and biscuits. As they watch, one general reaches up to take a bite of his biscuit…only to jab himself in the eye.

Washington's eyebrows raise high as the general rolls around on the ground, clutching his eye in pain. "And…these people are supposed to be leading us to victory?"

Alfred merely grins. "Yuuuuup."

So, it's been a while since I wrote anything, but...this was actaully written several months ago for the Kink meme, so it doesn't really count! *coughs*