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Summary: The first time Castiel had questioned orders was not until he met Dean Winchester but rather when he had heard of Dean Winchester. How did Castiel feel when he was told to save Dean Winchester?
"Hey, um, Cas?" Sam asked.
"Yes, Sam?" Castiel answered.
"How did you feel? You know, when you were told to pull Dean out of Hell?" Sam asked. Castiel regarded Sam's question carefully, thinking back.
He had always thought that humans were beautiful creatures. They were his father's creations after all. Angels had been told to love humans. The other angels- most of the other angels- shared his viewpoint. But none seemed quite as curious as Castiel was about them. With the acceptation of Anna. "Castiel, Michael would like a word with you," Uriel said. Anna and Castiel both looked at Uriel and then exchanged glances. "She can come too." There was a disgusted yet amused look on Uriel's face- like he knew something they didn't. At the time, Castiel had thought nothing of it. "Castiel. Anna," Michael said. "I did not expect you here." "She was with him," Uriel answered. "She was bound to know as soon as he did." They couldn't see Michael and he couldn't see them but they could hear each other easily. "And so you brought her along. Very well. Castiel we have need of you," Michael said. "What would you have me do?" Castiel asked. "Him specifically?" Anna questioned. Castiel hadn't thought of that but it was a good question. Why would an archangel require Castiel's presence? Anna was a higher rank of angel then he was…
"I have heard you have very expressive eyes, Castiel. Very intense," Michael said. Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "It can only be you. He should have been born on Thursday. You would have more of a claim to him."
Looking back, Castiel could hear the smugness in Michael's voice. He hadn't wanted Castiel to be the one to rescue Dean. He didn't want anyone else to have claim to his vessel.
"I do not understand," Castiel said. "Surely you know of my feud with Lucifer. I understand you are younger but…" Michael trailed off. "I know of it," Castiel answered. "And you know that Lucifer and I will have to take vessels in order to fight," Michael said. Castiel heard Anna's sharp intake of breath but he did not turn to look at her. "My vessel, Dean Winchester, has been sent to Hell," Michael said. "Father has… commanded you to be the one to retrieve him from Hell." Castiel nodded, mouth going fry. He opened his mouth to confirm that he would go. "Why him?" Anna demanded and Castiel turned wide eyes toward his superior, realizing that the words he was supposed to say were trapped in his throat. But Anna did ask what was hiding in the back of his mind. "Because our father commands it," Michael said. "You question our father's orders?" "I do not. But why Castiel? There are stronger angels to save him!" Anna said. Castiel was lost. Why was Anna… questioning these orders? Why was she denying Castiel his order from their Father? He had never understood emotion to well- he was a warrior. Angels didn't have human like emotion. They were not supposed to question orders. But why him? "Maybe I can explain," "Joshua," Michael said. Joshua looked straight at Castiel and walked towards him. "This little angel has very special eyes, wouldn't you agree? Some say that eyes are the window to the soul. Come with me, Castiel." Castiel didn't hesitate. He didn't know what hesitation was. "I want to go too," Anna said. "If you wish but it will not change the outcome. Come," Joshua said, leading them through a door. "What do you know about Dean Winchester other then he has been sent to Hell?" "Nothing," Castiel said. "I am here to change that. I am not sure what you will see- it is different for everyone. Some see what they want. Others see what they are meant to see," Joshua said. Scenes began playing before Castiel's eyes. A baby boy- born only seconds ago. That same baby boy opening beautiful green eyes- and Castiel could swear that they were looking at him. "What was it you said before?" Castiel asked, mouth open slightly as Dean's childhood passed before his eyes. "About souls and eyes?" "Eyes are the windows to your soul," Joshua smiled. The scenes continued to unfold before him and slowly but surely, Castiel began to understand the baby was Dean. There was Dean blowing out candles on his birthday. Sammy being born and Dean becoming a big brother. Dean protecting Sam. Mary and John playing with their children. Mary dying. The rest went by in a blur and Castiel realized, when the scenes ended, he was crying. "Do you understand now, Castiel?" Joshua asked. "Will you save him?" And there was only one answer that Castiel could give. "Yes," "Then you will lead your garrison tomorrow," "Castiel, brother," Anna said. "Anna," "I… I have a favor to ask of you," Anna said. "What would you ask of me?" Castiel asked. "Let me be the one to save Dean Winchester," Anna said. Castiel's heart stopped and his mouth went dry. He refused to look at her. "I cannot do that," he shook his head. "But why not? I do this only for you, Castiel. Have you ever heard of an angel of your status stepping foot in Hell? Of course you don't. Brother, I only want to protect you. Why won't you let me help you?" Anna asked. "Why do you insist on taking my place?" Castiel responded. He and Anna were close. The garrison was close but he and Anna usually paired together. "Anna," his superior swallowed. "Castiel, you know of my feelings for humans," Ann said. And Castiel did. Awe. Curiosity. Admiration. Respect. Jealousy. "What does that have to do with my mission?" Castiel asked. Anna hesitated yet again. "Whoever pulls Dean Winchester out of Hell will have a bond with him," Anna said. "And you wish for that bond to be with you," Castiel stated. "My apologies... but Father has chosen me for this. I cannot let this one go." Anna stood there and Castiel avoided looking at her. "You do not understand, Castiel... I cannot not do this," Anna said. "Then we are in agreement," Castiel said. "If I do not feel then I will go mad, Castiel!" Anna cried. Then Castiel looked at her. She was in hysterics. He felt panicked, not knowing what to do. "Anna-" "Castiel, please!" "I cannot!" "Why? To you he is just a human! To me he is full of feelings! What do you understand about feelings?" Anna demanded. "Please, Castiel. I'm begging you-" "Do not ask me again!" Castiel ordered. They stared at each other, Anna looking broken and Castiel looking lost and passionate. "Then you leave me no choice..." Anna said. "Anna? Anna- no!" Castiel shouted. He lunged for her and he caught her. "Goodbye, Castiel," she smiled. Then she was torn out of his arms like a comet. And she fell. "Anna fell," Uriel stated when he joined Castiel's side. "Any idea why?" "She wanted what humans have. Feelings," Castiel said. "Hm," Uriel said. "We leave now!" Castiel said before Uriel could say anything else. And the angels laid siege to Hell. Castiel walked towards Dean's soul. He was furious at this soul. It made Anna fall. It made him question orders. He didn't want to bring it back to Michael, back to Earth. He wanted to let it rot in Hell... but then he noticed how the soul shied away from him. Was this really the soul that had been torturing for a decade? He walked closer to it and it began to get nervous. he could see the body, torn up as it was- looking seemingly confident. The soul, however, was scared. Castiel found all of the anger melting away from him as he coaxed it into his arms. Seeing the soul now, Castiel understood that the memories weren't Dean's soul. Dean's soul was special... better then memories. "I am here for you," Castiel said soothingly- or at least what he hoped was soothingly. It wasn't Dean's fault that Anna had chosen to fallen. It could have been any soul. It didn't have to be Dean's soul. His hands began to smooth over Dean's body, taking away the pain, the suffering, the scars... He kept the soul close to him the entire time while he was fixing the body. Castiel had seen Dean's eyes through the memories. Now he had seen his soul. It was beautiful, just like his eyes. He knew that he had definitely met the Righteous Man. If Castiel had seen the soul before the eyes, he would have known instantly how beautifully green they were. And finally, he placed the soul into the body. The newly remade eyes opened for the first time, scared and confused. Grateful. "Don't leave," Dean said. "I have to," Castiel said. "I..." I'm scared. "I understand," Castiel said. "But you have to go back up." "Come with me," Castiel didn't say anything. Instead, he began to raise Dean Winchester from Perdition. '"Whoever pulls Dean Winchester out of Hell will have a bond with him," Anna said.' 'He should have been born on Thursday,' Castiel thought. He couldn't bare to leave Dean. It was hard and Dean was making it even harder, refusing to let Castiel bring him back to the surface. He wanted Castiel to stay. He wanted the warmth and security that Castiel provided.
And so, with one last whisper to Dean, Castiel tightened his grip on Dean's arm and branded him as he raised him from Perdition.
"Cas? You alive in there?" Sam asked. Castiel was torn from his memory that he didn't share with Sam and he looked at the younger Winchester.
"He should have been born on Thursday," Castiel said. "You both should have been." Then he disappeared.
"Weren't you talking to Sam?" Dean asked.
"We had an appointment," Castiel said, smiling slightly. Dean put down the fishing rod and looked at Castiel.
"Don't ever change," Dean said. Castiel shook his head and stood next to Dean who picked the fishing rod back up. Dean only glanced at Castiel when the angel placed a hand on his mark, covering it perfectly. Castiel looked straight ahead and so Dean did too, both content to just be in each other's company.
Because when Castiel pulled Dean out of Hell, in the end, he felt love.