Cole is human. Prue is a live. I got the idea from a nightmare I had the
other night and "The Bell Jar" by Slyvia Plath.. Dedicating it to those who
tried to help me get over my nightmare. People at the SSB and Phoebsfan.
Thanks for your help..
I'm Not There
"Phoebe!", I heard Piper call to me. I was sure that she wanted something like for me to pick up my mess or help her with something. She always called for me to help with the witchy games. Not that they were games. I know what could happen if there wasn't any magic. Well, good magic, I should say.
So anyway.. Piper found her way into the attic where I was sitting. I had my knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs, to bring me warmth as I was sitting next to the window with it opened. I looked over the side just to see how far down it was. I remember doing that alot suddenly. Even though I can't figure out why I would do it. So it's high. So it's scary... So are a lot of things in life.
"Phoebe? Got something on your mind? Like.. I don't know.. school?", Piper asked as she walked closer to me.
Actually, school was the last thing on my mind. I was thinking about scattered thoughts. Sometimes I was thinking about past innocents and sometimes I was thinking about different ways to end this bad suffering. No! Not in that way! I would never try and end my life! I just wanted to identify this suffering and then make it go away. But I never have enough time between school and witchy stuff. I barely had enough time for school! Sometimes I feel that they all expect me to be there for them just because I don't have a job. But then I remember how much they love me.
"Phoebe! Pay attention!", Piper shouted. I could tell that she was getting aggitated.
"Sorry. Just thinking. What did you want?"
"I was thinking that we should do something for Dad. He has his birthday coming up soon. And I thought that maybe we should do something like a surprise birthday at P3 that way he can maybe kinda get some together time with us. What do ya think?"
Honestly?, I asked myself. I think that you are trying way too hard to get to be the perfect sister.. It's a big turn off.
"Sounds great, sis. I'll help you really soon."
"Really soon? But Prue will be home really soon! Why can't you help me now?"
There it is again. She expected me to drop everything to go and help her. Didn't she even want to know if I was available for help? Didn't she care if I wanted to sit and relax a few minutes?
"Aren't you suppose to be at P3 in an hour?", I asked as a distraction.
Piper looked at her watch. I knew that I was off the hook. "Fine. We'll do it tomorrow.."
"Saturday." I was getting a sick pleasure out or annoying her.
"Fine then. Monday! But no excuses, ok?"
I sighed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get out of this one. I nodded to show her that I knew what she wanted, and then she left me along. I was back to thinking.
Sometimes, being alone was one of the best things to happen. But then others.. Silence can kill me. Sometimes, I just can't stand there being nothing to distract me from the pain. And then there are times I couldn't be more happy.
My emotions were a rollar coaster. One minute, I'm a loving and caring person who wants to help others and I am perfectly happy. But then there was times that I just wanted to be alone and couldn't stand helping others. It had to be about me. All about me. Sometimes, it got so bad that I would try and stop it. Yeah.. That way. There were times when I would drink to make me happy. No one ever noticed. There were times where I would go into the bathroom, lock the door, and take out the advil and start to open it. But then, just when I was about to put the overdosage in my mouth and my emotions would be back to normal.
"Hey!", I heard Prue say. I hadn't even noticed that she was home. It was now time for the witchy non-games. "Ready to kick some supernatural ass?"
"Sure, why not.", I whispered. I looked around, hoping for a distraction.
Demon vanquishing?!?! Who said anything about demon vanquishing? It was just suppose to be some research. We weren't suppose to know everything about this bad guy already. What happened to us being the slow unprepared Charmed Ones?
Oh god... I did not just think that! Did I suggest that I want to die? NO! No, I was just enjoying my free time and am mad to see it go. That's right.. I'm just mad. Let's just hope that's it...
"Phoebe? You feeling ok? You seem a little distracted."
"I'm fine.", I tried to assure her. Once Prue got the idea that we needed help, she didn't so easily change it. "Just thinking about school and how if I keep this up every single day that I won't graduate."
"Yeah, ok, sweetie. Feel up to doing this? Or should we do it later?"
"Now is as good a time as any, I suppose.." I walked over to the B.O.S. and started flipping through the pages. "What are we doing with the book? I thought that we had everything."
"Looking for a spell to keep Jessica from being trackable by demons. We don't want them sensing her here by herself." She continued reading over my shoulder as I searched for her spell. "Where's Piper?"
"P3. Remember- big corperate meeting thingy?" No, I thought. It was non of your concern..
"Oh.. Oh yeah! I can't believe I forgot about that! And I can't believe that you let her go.."
Yup, because it's allll my fault. I'm always the reason that your perfect life isn't so perfect.
"Sorry. Wasn't thinking.", I said politly. In the old days, Prue would have said something like, "Well of course not." or, "So what else is new?", but this time she just dropped it. "So.. Does this mean that I can go wander away or do you actually need me for something?"
"Ugh.. Yes and no."
"What?", I asked confused.
"Yes to the first question, and no to the second.", she explained.
"Oh. Ok. Ugh.. I'll take my cell with me."
"K. Be back before dark."
"Boy, do you sound like grams right now."
"Yeah, yeah.. Have a good time."
"Thanks.", I said as I left the room. I grabbed a jacket and my cell, and then I was on my way out for some more time alone..
Ok, as you can tell this isn't a story about Phoebe and Cole. It's about the pain that she feels and her going insane. And so with that said.. Do you think that I should persue?
I'm Not There
"Phoebe!", I heard Piper call to me. I was sure that she wanted something like for me to pick up my mess or help her with something. She always called for me to help with the witchy games. Not that they were games. I know what could happen if there wasn't any magic. Well, good magic, I should say.
So anyway.. Piper found her way into the attic where I was sitting. I had my knees up to my chest and my arms wrapped around my legs, to bring me warmth as I was sitting next to the window with it opened. I looked over the side just to see how far down it was. I remember doing that alot suddenly. Even though I can't figure out why I would do it. So it's high. So it's scary... So are a lot of things in life.
"Phoebe? Got something on your mind? Like.. I don't know.. school?", Piper asked as she walked closer to me.
Actually, school was the last thing on my mind. I was thinking about scattered thoughts. Sometimes I was thinking about past innocents and sometimes I was thinking about different ways to end this bad suffering. No! Not in that way! I would never try and end my life! I just wanted to identify this suffering and then make it go away. But I never have enough time between school and witchy stuff. I barely had enough time for school! Sometimes I feel that they all expect me to be there for them just because I don't have a job. But then I remember how much they love me.
"Phoebe! Pay attention!", Piper shouted. I could tell that she was getting aggitated.
"Sorry. Just thinking. What did you want?"
"I was thinking that we should do something for Dad. He has his birthday coming up soon. And I thought that maybe we should do something like a surprise birthday at P3 that way he can maybe kinda get some together time with us. What do ya think?"
Honestly?, I asked myself. I think that you are trying way too hard to get to be the perfect sister.. It's a big turn off.
"Sounds great, sis. I'll help you really soon."
"Really soon? But Prue will be home really soon! Why can't you help me now?"
There it is again. She expected me to drop everything to go and help her. Didn't she even want to know if I was available for help? Didn't she care if I wanted to sit and relax a few minutes?
"Aren't you suppose to be at P3 in an hour?", I asked as a distraction.
Piper looked at her watch. I knew that I was off the hook. "Fine. We'll do it tomorrow.."
"Saturday." I was getting a sick pleasure out or annoying her.
"Fine then. Monday! But no excuses, ok?"
I sighed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get out of this one. I nodded to show her that I knew what she wanted, and then she left me along. I was back to thinking.
Sometimes, being alone was one of the best things to happen. But then others.. Silence can kill me. Sometimes, I just can't stand there being nothing to distract me from the pain. And then there are times I couldn't be more happy.
My emotions were a rollar coaster. One minute, I'm a loving and caring person who wants to help others and I am perfectly happy. But then there was times that I just wanted to be alone and couldn't stand helping others. It had to be about me. All about me. Sometimes, it got so bad that I would try and stop it. Yeah.. That way. There were times when I would drink to make me happy. No one ever noticed. There were times where I would go into the bathroom, lock the door, and take out the advil and start to open it. But then, just when I was about to put the overdosage in my mouth and my emotions would be back to normal.
"Hey!", I heard Prue say. I hadn't even noticed that she was home. It was now time for the witchy non-games. "Ready to kick some supernatural ass?"
"Sure, why not.", I whispered. I looked around, hoping for a distraction.
Demon vanquishing?!?! Who said anything about demon vanquishing? It was just suppose to be some research. We weren't suppose to know everything about this bad guy already. What happened to us being the slow unprepared Charmed Ones?
Oh god... I did not just think that! Did I suggest that I want to die? NO! No, I was just enjoying my free time and am mad to see it go. That's right.. I'm just mad. Let's just hope that's it...
"Phoebe? You feeling ok? You seem a little distracted."
"I'm fine.", I tried to assure her. Once Prue got the idea that we needed help, she didn't so easily change it. "Just thinking about school and how if I keep this up every single day that I won't graduate."
"Yeah, ok, sweetie. Feel up to doing this? Or should we do it later?"
"Now is as good a time as any, I suppose.." I walked over to the B.O.S. and started flipping through the pages. "What are we doing with the book? I thought that we had everything."
"Looking for a spell to keep Jessica from being trackable by demons. We don't want them sensing her here by herself." She continued reading over my shoulder as I searched for her spell. "Where's Piper?"
"P3. Remember- big corperate meeting thingy?" No, I thought. It was non of your concern..
"Oh.. Oh yeah! I can't believe I forgot about that! And I can't believe that you let her go.."
Yup, because it's allll my fault. I'm always the reason that your perfect life isn't so perfect.
"Sorry. Wasn't thinking.", I said politly. In the old days, Prue would have said something like, "Well of course not." or, "So what else is new?", but this time she just dropped it. "So.. Does this mean that I can go wander away or do you actually need me for something?"
"Ugh.. Yes and no."
"What?", I asked confused.
"Yes to the first question, and no to the second.", she explained.
"Oh. Ok. Ugh.. I'll take my cell with me."
"K. Be back before dark."
"Boy, do you sound like grams right now."
"Yeah, yeah.. Have a good time."
"Thanks.", I said as I left the room. I grabbed a jacket and my cell, and then I was on my way out for some more time alone..
Ok, as you can tell this isn't a story about Phoebe and Cole. It's about the pain that she feels and her going insane. And so with that said.. Do you think that I should persue?