There he was. Kyle Broflovski. The boy with the 4.0 grade average, in the basketball team, smart and all around good guy. Had a short temper, and not to mention the best friend of Stan Marsh, my best friend's boyfriend. He was half ginger, a Jew, and was technically Jersey. He also had a sweet ass. Though that's not the only reason I loved him.
Why do I love Kyle Broflovski? Is it because of his over justice attitude? His strengthened beliefs and proud attitude. His determination or his optimism. Was it the fact that no one could fool him that made him so attractive? Or the fact that he stood out from the crowd, that he wasn't like the other boys? Could it be his simple taste and humble yet arrogant (all at once) features? Was it his broad shoulders, or his strong, warm chest? Was it his luscious red hair that made me so fucking crazy for him?
No.
It was the fact that he rejected me over and over. Without end. Continuous. Without fail. You think I'm a masochist, don't you? Truth is, I don't care. He drives me insane. Not only because of all the details had I just mentioned, it was because he is a challenge. No matter how persistent I can be, he never gives in. I admit it makes me cry, that it breaks my heart over and over. That he haunts me in both my dreams and nightmares, yet I am somehow and disturbingly addicted to it all. I am addicted to him.
And now, now he was standing there. Right there, in that corner. Pouting, and steaming from an argument Cartman had awakened before. Adorable. The way he was there, pouting. It nearly melted my heart. I clutched the fabric of my top, near the place of my heart, and took a huge gulp. Ever since I was little, since I was in the third grade, I promised myself that one day, Kyle Broflovski would be mine.
So I headed to him. The music blasting, deafening my eardrums, quickening my pulse, arousing the butterflies in my stomach. I tried to walk well in my new heels, the one I bought to impress the indifferent-towards-me Kyle. I tried not to trip over the spilled beer and beer cans on the floor. I couldn't go past this couple making out, it was Token and Red. I tried to push my way through, and when I finally did, I lost my balance and flew out of the crowd, landing onto someone's warm arms.
That feeling, that scent. Like honey and sweet tea. It was Kyle. I looked up and breathed in the enticing aroma. I breathed in the vision of him, the look on his face (filled with annoyance and indifference), the tightening of his grip on me.
"You okay?" He asked in that scarlet deep voice. So smooth, yet so light-headed the feeling of it was.
"Uh-huh." Was all I could muster?
He looked at me with what I almost saw to be concern and sympathy, which immediately switched to annoyance. "Be more careful next time, okay?"
I nodded, and then shook my head vigorously, waking up from my spell of him.
"No?" He asked, confused.
"I love you." I said, feeling the blush deepen in my cheeks.
I felt him breathe in sharply before he let me go. He avoided my openly gaze at him and looked at the floor, as if there was something interesting in that direction. "That's the 5th time you told me this week." He reminded me.
I didn't care. "Because it's true." I admitted.
He sighed. "Sorry, Bebe." He shrugged and proceeded to walk away.
I felt like crying, again. Despite that, I swallowed it in and my determination wielded my actions. As he turned his back to me, I threw my arms around him.
"What the fuck, Bebe!" He said surprised.
I squeezed him tighter, although he made no effort to escape. "Could you just pretend, for tonight at least, that you love me back? Just for tonight, at least." I pleaded pathetically.
I heard him sigh and I felt him shook his head softly. "Sorry." He said before slipping out of my arms and escaping into the dancing crowd of Token's party.
I stood there, staring at the position he left in, even though he was gone from sight. I felt a tear stream down my cheek. I instinctually wiped it away. "Then I'll just try harder to make you love me, Kyle." I said to no one in particular.
After about an hour wondering in Token's large Mansion (and a few drinks later as well), I heard cheering and rooting. I decided to follow it and then saw a huge crowd in the kitchen room. I somehow squeezed my way through to find Kyle and Cartman in the midst of it all.
Cartman with a twenty in his hands, and Kyle with a large bottle of vodka.
"I'll give you twenty dollars if you drink the whole bottle in ten minutes." Cartman said loudly.
Wait, Kyle doesn't drink alcohol… at all.
"Fuck you, fatass! I'm NOT drinking this shit!" My beloved exclaimed.
"Jews can't handle alcohol." Cartman declared.
"Though Kyle has Jersey blood in him. What the fuck do you think they do all day, besides hump and punch each other that is? They drink." Stan said from the crowd.
"It's either you drink a whole bottle, or you kiss Bebe!" Cartman said.
My heart ripped.
"What? Fuck you." Kyle screamed.
My stomach churned.
"It's one or the other. You lost a bet with me Kyle, there for you have to pay the punishment." Cartman reminded Kyle.
My throat locked.
Kyle stood there rather frozen, as if trying to decipher which venue to take.
Time froze.
Suddenly, he chugged the whole bottle in continuous gulps and took a heavy breathe when finished the whole bottle, and then threw it at Cartman's feet, shattering it.
Along with my heart.
I covered my mouth with my hands and pushed the crowd making my way out. I ran out of the room. For a moment I thought I heard Kyle's voice scream my name, but I didn't care.
I didn't care anymore. Shit. No. I DO care! That's the problem. I cared too much. Giving it my all was too much. How could I be so stupid? Kyle, he was too good for me. No. I'm too good for him. HE broke MY heart. HE rejected ME countless times. I did NOTHING wrong!
Still, it hurt. I ran into the nearest room (which happened to be a bedroom) and locked myself in there. It was empty, thankfully, and I lunged myself at the bed and started to cry.
Then, what felt like an eternity later, I heard a knock on the door. I stayed silent.
Knock Knock
"Bebe! I know you're in there." I heard Kyle's voice.
"So what do you care?" I managed to say, still kneeled on the floor, arms flailed on top of the edge of the bed.
Silence.
"I'm sorry." I heard him say.
"How original." I said, in dry, bitter, sarcasm.
Silence. A deep sigh.
"Bebe… I didn't mean to hurt you." He admitted.
No. He's not getting off that easily. Not this time. He crossed the limit this time. "What an epic fail, then."
Silence.
"See look, I can explain, you see I…" He began before I cut him off.
"No, you see! I'm tired of all this! At first you rejecting me was a challenge. At first, it made me MORE determined. MORE persistent. No matter how much it hurt! But I know that you would never drink, mostly because it's against your morals, it's against everything that you stand up for. Yet, you'd rather crush all your morals and all your believes just so you don't have to make out with this DOG!" I screamed to the door. Emphasis on 'dog'. A bitter, dry emphasis.
Silence.
"Bebe." Silence. "I love you."
Shit. He stole my breathe.
"Liar." I managed to choke out. "You're drunk, and even if you weren't, lying to make me feel better, that's disgusting."
"I'm NOT lying!" I heard him scream from the muffled music and pounding booms of it.
Silence. "I was just… scared."
Now, he's seriously pissing me off. "Scared? You're scared?"
Silence.
"What. The. Fuck! So you think its okay to play with other's minds, just as long as you're scared?"
"God dammit." I heard him curse under his breathe. "Look, I was scared something could happen between us. I was scared you were going to figure out what a fucking jerk I really was and dump me. I was afraid that I'd do something wrong and hurt you more than I could ever now. And I can't help but think you're stupid to keep chasing after me, either that or you have really bad taste in men."
I stood there for minutes. Long, agonizing minutes. In silence.
"So you were scared of the risks?" I finally asked.
Silence.
"I guess, yeah." He finally said.
I stood up and walked towards the door. I opened it and saw him standing there. A few tears streaming down his adorable face. His right hand leaning on the frame of the door.
My heart strings where being pulled. Damn it.
I gave in, and embraced him. The scent of honey and sweet tea came rushing into me. After a few moments, he reluctantly held me back.
"Love is nothing without risks, Kyle." I said; still sober enough to keep a clear mind.
Though that sober conscious was slipping, fast. And with Kyle drinking so much, I was afraid his was due to slipping.
I felt him breathe me in. "Bebe…" he whispered my name into my neck.
Cold, pleasant shivers trickled throughout me.
"I'm sorry." He said, with a more serious tone.
Before I could say a word, he separated us and stared in my face for a moment, before locking our lips in place.
It… was incredible. Better than the time in third grade when we first kissed in the tree house playing Truth or Dare. I sunk in immediately, moving my lips along with his.
Shit, my consciousness was seeping through; I didn't want to miss anything else that was to come. I wanted to keep this feeling….
….just a…..
…..bit…..
….longer….
…Kyle…..
The next thing I knew I smelled that honey, sweet tea aroma. I smiled and opened my eyes. I felt the sunlight flicker on my cheek. Something warm and soft, almost fleshy, was against my other cheek. I was hugging it?
My eyes flew open. I bobbed my head up to find a sleeping Kyle, with no… shirt? Shit!
Oh please don't tell I did what I just think I did? And that's when I felt it. The hangover. My head throbbed like a bitch and my vision blackened for a second before returning to normal. I groaned in pain and felt my bare chest on his chest.
Wait…. WHAT!
I scurried to the other side of the bed (almost falling off) and covered myself with the blankets. SHIT! I was naked. I looked around. My clothes were scattered. Not to mention Kyle seemed to be waking up. SHIT, SHIT SHIT!
He opened his eyes slightly and immediately held his head and moaned in pain.
"Fuck…. I'm never drinking again…" He mumbled to himself.
He looked around the room and his eyes met mine. At first calm, but then seeing me covering myself with blankets, his eyes widened.
I felt tears whelm up.
"Jesus Christ….. did we just….." Kyle began, unable to finish.
I nodded my head, burying my face in disappointment and shame of myself.
Shit, what did I just do?