Songs About Me

* (revised) *

Sometimes, subconsciously, we're drawn to songs that reflect our lives or how we wish it would be. This story is basically Rachel Roth's soundtrack; I'm telling her story. I've read a couple stories where Rachel/Raven is abused by her father. I thought I would write my version. I've been working on some form of this story off and on. I don't know if it's any good, but this is what I want to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans or Little Big Town

Chapter 1 - Fine Line

"Completely complacent / So decidedly vacant / I keep waiting for something to give / But that something is always me / You consume what you're able / I get crumbs from your table / You call this comfortably normal / But I call it getting by" - Fine Line, Little Big Town

"Rachel!" a male voice shatters the early morning peace. "Rachel! Where the hell are you? Where's my …" As the man hollers for his daughter, a petite figure is sneaking out of the house.

Quietly shutting the door, his daughter thinks, "Whatever you're looking for is right where you left it. I won't touch or move anything of yours." Rachel runs about a block to get away from the house. School's ten blocks away and there's still a few hours before she has to be there. Now walking, Rachel goes to a nearby park. The fifteen year old sits on a swing in the empty park. She pulls out of her backpack: a book, a sleeve of pop tarts and her worn-out mp3 player. She does this almost every day. She has done this ever since she lost her mother. And because she does this so often, nobody takes notice of her. It doesn't really bother her, by now she's used to it.

Today is just like any other day. Her father's yelling at her and she's sitting in a park eating breakfast. It's a little cool out so she gathers her long dark hair and pulls up her hood. The park, as usual, is empty except for a lone hooded figure.

The quiet doesn't last too long. A group of four high school boys comes to the park. Three of them seem to be bullying the forth one. No one notices her. Rachel tries to ignore them and keeps reading. She tries not to listen, but she can't help to hear their demeaning taunts. She watches them for a little while. She thinks she recognizes the bullied teen. She's seen him around school. He may have been in some of her classes last year. When she hears the blond boy try to joke his way out of the situation, she knows it is Garfield Logan. He's the class clown; always joking. The bullies are getting rougher. Rachel's not sure what to do. She can't just sit here and watch this kid get hurt. She thinks, 'I've stood up to my father, sort of.' She winces; her shoulder still hurts from the last time she "stood up" to him. 'Maybe between this Logan kid and me we can scare them off.' She puts her stuff back in her bag. Rachel hopes her baggy sweatshirt and jeans will hide her thin form. She goes over to them with her hood still up.

"Hey," she calls out, trying to make her voice sound as tough as possible. "Leave him alone."

Everyone turns and looks at her. One of the guys goes up to her and says, "What's a scrawny kid like you gonna do?" He shoves her, causing her hood to fall back. Rachel's long black hair falls around her shoulders.

'Damn,' she thinks, 'now what?'

"What do we have here?" the guy says. "Did your girlfriend come to help you?"

Gar says, "She's not my girlfriend."

Rachel thinks, 'Thanks a lot. I'm trying to help you and you still insult me.'

"Then maybe she came to play?" the guy sneers at her.

The second guy says, "She's that creepy, loser girl."

"So," the first guy says leering, "that doesn't mean we can't have a little 'fun'." Before she can move, he grabs Rachel's wrist.

Gar yells, "Let her go! She has nothing to do with this!"

"Let go of me!" cries Rachel. She struggles to get free but his grip is too tight. It's almost as tight as her father's is. She tries to push him away. He grabs her other wrist. She repeats, "Let go of me!"

"Yo!" A deep male voice says. "You heard the girl! Let her go!"

Everyone turns to the source of the voice. There are two teenaged boys coming towards them. One is of average height and has an athletic build. He has black spiky hair. He is wearing sunglasses. The other, probably the source of the voice, is a very tall African-American teen. He is very athletic. Both teens look angry.

The taller teen repeats "Let her go! Or do I have to make you?"

The guy holding Rachel decides they can't win a fight against those two. He lets go of Rachel and shoves her to the ground. He and his two friends run away.

The two teens that came to her aid run over to her. The very tall, very athletic one leans over her. He offers Rachel a hand. He says, "Are you ok?" She accepts his help up.

Rachel shrugs her shoulders and says, "Yeah, sure."

Gar runs over to them. By now, there is also a teenage girl with them. The girl with very long red hair asks, "Are you sure? They did not hurt you?"

Rachel's brushing off her jeans. She says, "I'm fine" and thinks, 'I've suffered worse from my father.'

Gar says, "Thanks for helping. Sorry you almost got hurt." Rachel just shrugs and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.

She picks up her stepped on bag. She pulls out a damaged mp3 player. Her shoulders drop. She thinks, 'Great! I have to try to fix this one again or somehow buy a new one. To get the money I guess I could skip lunch for a few weeks. Or I could baby-sit for the ever-bickering twins: Jon and Kate. *sigh* Maybe I should go without mus …' her thoughts are interrupted.

"Oh sorry, want me to replace it since it got broken 'cause you were helping me," says Gar.

"What? Uh, no, I, I have others," lies Rachel.

"Hello," says the red headed girl. "You are Rachel, correct? My name is Kori Anders. Garfield or, Gar Logan is who you tried to help." Gar waves sheepishly to Rachel.

The guy with black hair says, "I'm Richard Grayson, you sure you're alright."

Rachel simply says, "Yes."

"I'm Victor Stone. You can call me Vic," says the very athletic teen. "Want me to check your wrists; he had a pretty tight grip on you."

Rachel says in a monotone voice, "I'm fine. I should get to school."

Vic asks, "Need a ride?"

Excited, Kori says, "Yes, that way we could talk and get to know one another more. We could become better friends."

Rachel just looks at each of them.

Richard says, "You're not worried we'll hurt you, are you? We just helped you. Just let us give you a ride to school."

"Thanks," Rachel says monotonously, "I'll just walk." She picks up her bag and heads towards school. The four remaining teens are left confused as they watch Rachel walk away.

Kori says with hurt feelings, "Why does she not wish to be our friend? I want everyone to be friends. We mean her no harm."

"Yeah," says Gar, "what's her problem? We only want to give her a ride to school."

Richard shrugs his shoulders. He says, "I don't know. I guess she's used to being alone."

Vic keeps watching Rachel as long as he can. He says, "The girl's been hurt before. It'll take awhile for her to open up." Everyone agrees. Their thoughts are on Rachel as they go to school.

As Rachel approaches school, she unenthusiastically eyes the two-story brick building and all the students. She notices her "friends" from the park have arrived. Kori waves excitedly to Rachel. Rachel doesn't return the wave; instead, she crosses her arms. She rolls her eyes and thinks sarcastically 'Great. First week of school and things are turning out to be wonderful. It's going to be a long year.' She lets out a drawn out sigh as she joins the masses entering the school.

Rachel's day continued like any other day: the taunting and trying to avoid teachers and her tormentors. She avoids her teachers as much as possible. She doesn't know what or if they suspect anything about her home life. She's afraid if anyone would report it to the officials; her life would be a living hell. That's why it's better to be alone; no one will know her secret. But today she is also trying to avoid her new "friends". At least one of they seems to be everywhere she is. They aren't really following her it just seems that way to Rachel. She's just noticing them more. Rachel knows who they are. She knows they are popular; or that is more popular than she is. There are not many who are less popular than Rachel. 'Why would they want to be my friends? It must be a trick or a dare,' thinks Rachel. She continues her day trying to go unnoticed.

When Rachel goes home, she goes home to an empty house. Either her father is working late or he is having dinner with a client. Rachel has a hamburger-helper-like meal-maker minus the hamburger. It's not that she doesn't like nor has anything against eating meat. She just can't afford it. She buys a lot of her food at a dollar store. She can't buy much because what she buys has to fit in her backpack. Rachel makes her plain meal as her father is having a steak dinner with a client.

Not knowing what type of mood her father will be in; Rachel decides to finish her homework in her room. There she can lock the door and be safe. She hears her father come home. She hears him open a bottle of campaign. From the sound of things downstairs, the dinner meeting went well.

Help! ^_~ My plan is to have a song featured in each chapter. The songs will reflect what Rachel is feeling or going through. Rachel's life isn't great, but there are some happy times. There is no specific genre, now or old, just anything that Rachel might listen to. I'm looking for some songs. If anyone has any ideas please let me know.

Thanks for reading. Oh, and please review.

~Rae of Sorrow