Why you never get Patrick Star Angry

Okay, I just thought of this little diddy/ one shot when I drew a picture of Patrick Star going on a rampage while holding that medieval spiky ball thingie (whose name for the life of me I can't remember)…so yeah, not meant to be a crack fic though! Purely HUMOR

Disclaimer: I don't own SpongeBob Square pants…or anything by NICK for that manner! I only own Galexia, the volunteer cashier, who if it was me, I would bribe Mr. Krabs to pay me…lol

It was a normal day in Bikini Bottom, where the flower shaped clouds complemented the coral flowers, when suddenly a loud grinding noise could be heard from the rock house of Patrick Star.

Said star was eating his breakfast from a can as he did every day. Unfortunately he couldn't open the can, no matter how hard he tried.

"Stupid. Can. Of. Food…" Patrick grumbled as he repeatedly threw the can against the wall, "Why. Won't. You. Open!" He then threw the can down in exasperation, "Tarter Sauce…I know maybe SpongeBob can open it!" He then proceeded to run through the sand walls of his house, to SpongeBob's house when he remembered that his friend had gone to work today.

"Jeez!" Patrick said as he threw the can to the ground. "Forget this! I'm going back to bed!" Patrick then stomped over to his house, and tried to open it only to see the security system turn on.

"PLEASE INSERT PASSWORD" It said.

"Uhhh…" Patrick said, "Go fish?"

"INCORECT"

"Fish go?"

"INCORECT"

"Fish go fish?"

"INCORECT"

"Fish go go fish go fish go go fish fish go fish go?"

"…INCORECT"

"DANG IT!" Patrick shouted now annoyed at the stupid alarm system that just popped out of nowhere, "FISH GO GO FISH FISH GO FISH FISH GO GO GO FISH GO GO FISH FISH FISH FISH GO FISH GO GO GO GO FISH FISH GO FISH FISH GO FISH FISH GO GO GO GO FISH FISH GO GO GO GO FISH!"

"INCORECT!" The alarm system shouted, before shooting the pink star with a retractable laser beam, "NOW PLEASE REMOVE YOURSELF FROM 'S PROPERTY, OR I WILL HAVE TO USE FORCE"

Patrick now annoyed kicked the security system, who in return hit him with a laser. "AHHH!" he screamed in pain.

Squidward then craned his neck out the window, "Patrick! What in the world are you doing? I'm trying to practice my clarinet here, and I can't do that if you're screaming at your rock!" Patrick made a face.

"Can I listen to you Squidward-?"

"NO! No! Noo! NONONONONONO!" Squidward yelled. After a while Patrick raised his hand,

"Yes Patrick? What can you possible want now?"

"Does that include Nno?" Squidward sighed before shutting his window. Patrick's head drooped, as he walked back to SpongeBob's house. As he did so, however he tripped on the can that he wanted to eat for breakfast.

Suddenly Patrick adopted a psychotic grin. "AHHH! I'M SO ANGRY THAT I COULD EAT THREE BOWLS OF RICE!" He screamed as he picked up a chainsaw out of nowhere and started to swing it around randomly. As he ran around Sqidward's house, it cut it in half, making it slide down to the ground.

"There goes my insurance…" Squidward mumbled as he climbed out of his house.

Patrick meanwhile had run all the way down the the Krusty Krab swinging his chainsaw at anyone who dared to get in his way.

Said star then barged through the restaurant's door.

"WHERE'S SPONGEBOB?" He shouted, making all of the customers scramble behind their seats. Mr. Krabs then conveniently walked out of his office,

"Hey! What's the matter? I don't hear any money spendin' GALEXIA! What's the problem!" Mr. Krabs shouted as he turned to his temporary cashier Galexia. She had dark skin and her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She had a blue halo around each of her arms and had almost invisible gills on the side of her neck. She was also wearing blue shirt, dark jeans and a Krusty Krab hat. As of now she ducked inside the boat where the cash register was.

"W-well uh…Patrick looks really angry…and…" she mumbled,

"And what? Hurry it up lass! Time is money!"

"And he's got a chainsaw! Yipes!" she yelled as she managed to squeeze inside the boat even more. Mr. Krabs scratched his head,

"Well don't you carry around a crowbar, lass? Just hit him in the head with it and he'll be back to normal in no time."

"Yeah but chainsaws can cut through crowbars!"

"No they can't."

"Yes they can."

"No they can't."

"Yes they can."

"No they can't!"

"Yes they can!"

"NO they can't!"

"YES they can!"

"SPONGEBOB, me boy!" Mr. Krabs yelled. The yellow sponge ran out immediately.

"Yes Mr. Krabs?"

"Can a chainsaw cut through a crowbar?" The red crab asked him. SpongeBob rubbed his chin,

"Well, I don't know…hey! I got it! Let's ask Patrick! He even has a chainsaw right now! Oh PATRICK!" SpongeBob yelled.

Patrick on the other hand was staring into space, drooling at the krabby patties that were left on the tables as the customers ran away from him. He was jostled out of his thoughts however when SpongeBob called him.

"Huh, whose it what." He then caught sight of SpongeBob, "ITS YOU! YAHH!" Patrick yelled as he came running towards SpongeBob with the chainsaw at an alarmingly fast rate.

"SpongeBob, watch out!" Galexia shouted,

"Not me fry cook!" Mr. Krabs yelled. Galexia then blocked Patrick with her crowbar, only for him to cut it in half. Galexia glared at Mr. Krabs,

"Now, look what you've done. He cut my crowbar!" Mr. Krabs shrugged,

"Eh, it's not mine. No money lost for me. Arghargharghargh." The crustation chuckled. Galexia huffed before hitting Mr. Krabs in the head with the broken crowbar pieces.

"Oh yeah? I quit! Humph! See if you lose any money now!" She yelled as he marched out of the restaurant holding the cash register. Mr. Krabs ran after her,

"Wait! Galexia! Maybe we can work out an agreement! No! COME BACK! YOU'RE MY ONLY VOLUNTEER CASHIER! NO! DON'T TAKE CASHY! WAIT FOR ME!" Mr. Krabs shouted as they both ran off.

Back to Patrick and SpongeBob…

"Uhhh…where was I?" Patrick asked SpongeBob as he scratched his head. SpongeBob shrugged,

"I think that you were going to cut me with a chainsaw." Patrick's face lit up,

"Oh yeah! That reminds me!" Patrick gave him the chainsaw to hold while he pulled out the can of food from breakfast that day. "Can you use that chainsaw to open this can SpongeBob? I can't seem to open it." SpongeBob chuckled,

"Sure. Anything for you buddy." He then took the chainsaw and cut the can in half, making the contents inside it, spill onto the ground.

Patrick adopted his psychotic grin again,

"AHHH! YOU RUNINED MY BREAKFAST! JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! AHH!" Patrick screamed as he took out two kantana's and started to swing them at SpongeBob. The sponge however took off running.

"COME BACK HERE SQUAREPANTS! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU YET!" Patrick said as he started to throw the kantana's at SpongeBob. Once he ran out of those, he took out a bazooka. SpongeBob's eyes jumped out of their sockets.

"Patrick! Calm down! I'll buy you breakfast!" SpongeBob screamed as he tried to avoid the missiles coming from the star's bazooka. Suddenly Patrick stopped chasing him.

"Really?"

"Sure, I just have to make sure that I have enough money…" SpongeBob said as he took out his wallet, only to see…that it was empty. Oh boy…SpongeBob though as he started to run once more. Patrick then took out a machine gun and started to fire it at the yellow sponge.

"I'LL GET YOU YET! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!" Patrick yelled as he chased him into the horizon.

In conclusion, never get Patrick Star mad or else he'll fire weapons at you.